A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,664
    Meltdown99 said:
    My anxiety has been under control until recently ... found out my homeowners policy not being renewed, claim frequency, apparently 1 claim is frequent...let me tell you, an insurance company not renewing a policy is not good ... having trouble finding insurance.  Oh yeah, in Canada insurance is heavily regulated, but they can fuck people over one claim...and people wonder why I have no use for government.  Our government regulates insurance to ensure insurance companies maximize profits...I wake up everyday thankful I do not work in the insurance industry, fucking vultures they are.
    Oh man, insurance companies can really SUCK sometimes.  Ours told us recently we need a new roof or they won't renew.  I can't prove it but I think the roof we have has at least a few more years left in it.  But they insist so rather than hassle with them or go with another company (why bother- they all suck) we're coughing up the big bucks for a roof.  At 66+ with no prospects for a new career start, those thousands of dollars are going to take a gouge.  Ouch!
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    brianlux said:
    Meltdown99 said:
    My anxiety has been under control until recently ... found out my homeowners policy not being renewed, claim frequency, apparently 1 claim is frequent...let me tell you, an insurance company not renewing a policy is not good ... having trouble finding insurance.  Oh yeah, in Canada insurance is heavily regulated, but they can fuck people over one claim...and people wonder why I have no use for government.  Our government regulates insurance to ensure insurance companies maximize profits...I wake up everyday thankful I do not work in the insurance industry, fucking vultures they are.
    Oh man, insurance companies can really SUCK sometimes.  Ours told us recently we need a new roof or they won't renew.  I can't prove it but I think the roof we have has at least a few more years left in it.  But they insist so rather than hassle with them or go with another company (why bother- they all suck) we're coughing up the big bucks for a roof.  At 66+ with no prospects for a new career start, those thousands of dollars are going to take a gouge.  Ouch!
    It turns out the insurance company screwed up and removed everything from our records...but still, it’s a pain in the ass. Get the roof, if you don’t and it leaks, then the insurance company will have an out.  I am thankful than I’m not an I surance adjuster...they have no souls.
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    In dealing with my insurance my insurance company, my father said to me “he admires my tenacity for for sticking to facts and getting the insurance to admit to their mistakes it brought tears to my eyes.
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • i_lov_it
    i_lov_it Perth, Western Australia Posts: 4,007
    lastexitlondon said:
    I don't post very often anymore. Ive lost the will to carry on . Ive reached out everywhere possible. But to no avail. Im at the bottom and i can't get up anymore. All the advice isn't hitting home. I do not believe or trust anything. They say you don't know when you lose your mind..... i know i am what does that say. Fuck knows. Dr says the same
     I saw 2 and they said the same. I don not believe them because what is happening in my mind or brain is crippling me and now im wrecking the only relationships i have. Not on purpose of course but this illness is the cruelist demise of a good human who has never hurt anyone and only cared too much about everyone and everything. There is no justice and no god. There are no prizes for good. That aside i wanted everyone who comes /came here that ive gained friends in my mind here and that was kind. 

    I am so sorry to hear this lastexit...I just hope that you can find a way to get through this...

    You may have hit the Bottom but just think there's only one way from here and that is up...

    I agree it is very cruel but just try to be kind to yourself and remember be compassionate to yourself...give yourself compassion you're a wonderful Person...tell yourself that lastexit...you will get through this and if you need to let anything off your chest or need any advice there are so many Wonderful people here on this Forum who will listen...

  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,904
    edited March 2018
    Thank you. 
    Its 4a.m all i can think is.
    "The day i tried to live" followed by "blow up the outside world" 
    I rode my bike in the rain yesterday. It was invigorating. 
    I will do it again today. 
    I can't keep the wolves from my door anymore though. 
    I went to a pj and soundgarden tribute show,my auntie got me a ticket and drove me there. The music was great. But i had moments where it was all quiet in my head as the people all moved around and i was visualising when i met chris cornell then the members of pj ive met and i suddenly thought im done here. I felt a peace that i could leave earth now ,in that moment. I never felt ready before. Or since. Chris 's bravery almost inspired me.
    I know that sounds odd.


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,904
    Im getting numb


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Shyner
    Shyner Posts: 1,226
    lastexitlondon said:
    Im getting numb
    Hey .We love your word
  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    lastexitlondon said:
    Im getting numb
    Hang in there buddy...

    do you have a cat or dog to comfort you...

    have you considered looking into a therapy dog?

    i have a dog, she’s not a therapy dog, but she is loyal, and when I’m stressed just petting her really helps...
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,904
    Thank you meltdown and shyner. 
     Im not a fan of dogs and cats i live in a flat we aren't allowed animals . But i do love birds. I watch a red kite that comes to visit . I imagine its a relative visiting me when im at my lowest it always appears. 
    I want to be a bird of prey. So graceful and smooth. Magestic.
    Ive decided i need to be sober. So im trying again. I hate it but i must 


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,904
    Without this thread i would be lost. Sometimes i have to just type how i feel. Because its eating my brain up


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Shyner
    Shyner Posts: 1,226
    I dont think id come back here if you decided plan destruction
    I love you
  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    lastexitlondon said:
    Thank you meltdown and shyner. 
     Im not a fan of dogs and cats i live in a flat we aren't allowed animals . But i do love birds. I watch a red kite that comes to visit . I imagine its a relative visiting me when im at my lowest it always appears. 
    I want to be a bird of prey. So graceful and smooth. Magestic.
    Ive decided i need to be sober. So im trying again. I hate it but i must 
    Do you have a nice park for bird watching ...

    i love birds as well...
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,904
    I found a nice bike ride where there is nature so im planning on that today. Feeling fucking dizzy and confused. But i will try again. Just for today . Thats all i can do.


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,904
    I went for a ride and gave up. I forgot which way i was going a few times and all i could think about was ending it all. Fuckin pathetic


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    lastexitlondon said:
    I found a nice bike ride where there is nature so im planning on that today. Feeling fucking dizzy and confused. But i will try again. Just for today . Thats all i can do.
    Dizzy and confused can be symptoms of panic attacks.  Do you get panic attackks?  If not sure, maybe discus with doc, is vertigo causing your dizziness?
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Definitely get out into nature...studies show spirituality and being out enjoying nature really helps with mental health...
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,904
    I always tell him. Its not a spinning so says not vertigo. No i rarely get attacks. Its all part of this memory loss and confusion that i cannot take anymore


    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Meltdown99
    Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    lastexitlondon said:
    I always tell him. Its not a spinning so says not vertigo. No i rarely get attacks. Its all part of this memory loss and confusion that i cannot take anymore
    Hang in there ... stay positive.
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • i_lov_it
    i_lov_it Perth, Western Australia Posts: 4,007
    edited March 2018
    So many Brave People on here :)
  • i_lov_it
    i_lov_it Perth, Western Australia Posts: 4,007
    edited March 2018
    i_lov_it said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    I don't post very often anymore. Ive lost the will to carry on . Ive reached out everywhere possible. But to no avail. Im at the bottom and i can't get up anymore. All the advice isn't hitting home. I do not believe or trust anything. They say you don't know when you lose your mind..... i know i am what does that say. Fuck knows. Dr says the same
     I saw 2 and they said the same. I don not believe them because what is happening in my mind or brain is crippling me and now im wrecking the only relationships i have. Not on purpose of course but this illness is the cruelist demise of a good human who has never hurt anyone and only cared too much about everyone and everything. There is no justice and no god. There are no prizes for good. That aside i wanted everyone who comes /came here that ive gained friends in my mind here and that was kind. 

    I am so sorry to hear this lastexit...I just hope that you can find a way to get through this...

    You may have hit the Bottom but just think there's only one way from here and that is up...

    I agree it is very cruel but just try to be kind to yourself and remember be compassionate to yourself...give yourself compassion you're a wonderful Person...tell yourself that lastexit...you will get through this and if you need to let anything off your chest or need any advice there are so many Wonderful people here on this Forum who will listen...

    Posted this a couple of days ago just incase you missed it...also posted on the 'who are you' thread in reply to you...hope you are doing well lastexit :)
    Post edited by i_lov_it on

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