A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

lastexitlondon

Thank you anna. Im going to meet a friend because i do not feel safe. Im upsetting to be around and i can see damage caused to my partner. I can't find any hope at the moment i keep getting worse by the day. With confusion. 

Annafalk

lastexitlondon said:

Thank you anna. Im going to meet a friend because i do not feel safe. Im upsetting to be around and i can see damage caused to my partner. I can't find any hope at the moment i keep getting worse by the day. With confusion. 

That sounds great that you are seeing a friend, I hope you will have a nice day.

lastexitlondon

Thank you anna. Im not good at seeing a future i want my memory back. But i might have to just be like this now. 

HughFreakingDillon

lastexitlondon said:

Thank you anna. Im going to meet a friend because i do not feel safe. Im upsetting to be around and i can see damage caused to my partner. I can't find any hope at the moment i keep getting worse by the day. With confusion. 

can you voluntarily commit yourself?

lastexitlondon

The lady i saw said she could but only if i was like 10/10 going to kill myself. And i thought they may take my baby away if im sectioned. Ive got all this trouble with her ex getting social services involved so it will seem as if im unsafe. I can't win. But i must admit im at a good 7/10. I told her 5. But fuck this . I even tried weed again after 20 years. Utterly stupid and not for me.

i_lov_it

Meltdown99 said:

i_lov_it said:

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?

This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...

Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...

I’m in your situation now ... I feel I’m being used a doormat.  Which is why I prefer less people in my life.  Good luck to you....

I'm sorry to hear that Meltdown...but as you said before you can not let someone use you as a doormat...it's not easy but you can get there...it took me awhile to relise it and you can too...I hope you can stop yourself from being treated that way the same way I did...you deserve respect...and Thank you 

Meltdown99

i_lov_it said:

Meltdown99 said:

i_lov_it said:

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?

This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...

Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...

I’m in your situation now ... I feel I’m being used a doormat.  Which is why I prefer less people in my life.  Good luck to you....

I'm sorry to hear that Meltdown...but as you said before you can not let someone use you as a doormat...it's not easy but you can get there...it took me awhile to relise it and you can too...I hope you can stop yourself from being treated that way the same way I did...you deserve respect...and Thank you 

i_lov_it said:

lastexitlondon said:

I need more help than i can get. Today i saw a new person. Im not sure her title. But i can't get through to any of them . Im loosing my memory and the confusion is at a level i can't get through a day. Im now faced with rotting away and being an absolute bind on my partner. I told this lady im close to ending it all. 
They all say oh its just a bad patch . You will get better nobody is listening  so far out of my depth . If not for love i would be drowning.  

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through...but that last part you need to pay attention too...

Meltdown99

i_lov_it said:

Meltdown99 said:

i_lov_it said:

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?

This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...

Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...

I’m in your situation now ... I feel I’m being used a doormat.  Which is why I prefer less people in my life.  Good luck to you....

I'm sorry to hear that Meltdown...but as you said before you can not let someone use you as a doormat...it's not easy but you can get there...it took me awhile to relise it and you can too...I hope you can stop yourself from being treated that way the same way I did...you deserve respect...and Thank you 

Thank you for kind words.  I am definitely working on it.  Glad it worked out for you.  

Meltdown99

What’s up with the quotes on this forum...

HughFreakingDillon

Meltdown99 said:

What’s up with the quotes on this forum...

if you backspace too far it will trap you in the previous quote and won't let you out. simply refresh the page and try again. 

i_lov_it

Meltdown99 said:

i_lov_it said:

Meltdown99 said:

i_lov_it said:

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

You can't be a door matt . No matter how much you feel an attraction to someone. Can i ask how old you are?

This is exactly right...you can not let someone use you a doormat...

Exactly...it took me awhile too relise...

I’m in your situation now ... I feel I’m being used a doormat.  Which is why I prefer less people in my life.  Good luck to you....

I'm sorry to hear that Meltdown...but as you said before you can not let someone use you as a doormat...it's not easy but you can get there...it took me awhile to relise it and you can too...I hope you can stop yourself from being treated that way the same way I did...you deserve respect...and Thank you 

Thank you for kind words.  I am definitely working on it.  Glad it worked out for you.  

Thank you and you're welcome...but I'm still working on it too...It's just one situation in which that I managed to get out of even though it took me awhile to relise it...still a lot of work to do...

PJ_Soul

lastexitlondon said:

The lady i saw said she could but only if i was like 10/10 going to kill myself. And i thought they may take my baby away if im sectioned. Ive got all this trouble with her ex getting social services involved so it will seem as if im unsafe. I can't win. But i must admit im at a good 7/10. I told her 5. But fuck this . I even tried weed again after 20 years. Utterly stupid and not for me.

Have you contacted any mental health support groups where you could explore different options? Like mental health rehabilitation facilities, even out patient community support programs? I just googled here, so you may already be aware, but perhaps you could contact https://www.rethink.org/ or https://www.rehab-recovery.co.uk/addiction-help/mental-emotional.html or some other group like that to find resources. 

lastexitlondon

I will do that thank you 

HughFreakingDillon

my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

part of me is glad she doesn't. 

PJ_Soul

HughFreakingDillon said:

my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

part of me is glad she doesn't. 

I get the impression that most people who haven't dealt with it themselves simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact that you can't just will or think yourself out of it like that. Like, I don't think they're capable of understanding that no matter how you explain it to them.

lastexitlondon

You cannot explain it to someone who thankfully hss never visited our darkness

lastexitlondon

Words don't equate

HughFreakingDillon

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

part of me is glad she doesn't. 

I get the impression that most people who haven't dealt with it themselves simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact that you can't just will or think yourself out of it like that. Like, I don't think they're capable of understanding that no matter how you explain it to them.

she has suffered, but mildly, REALLY mildly, compared to me. strangely, she's on meds and I'm not. they helped me once long ago, but don't seem to now. 

PJ_Soul

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

part of me is glad she doesn't. 

I get the impression that most people who haven't dealt with it themselves simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact that you can't just will or think yourself out of it like that. Like, I don't think they're capable of understanding that no matter how you explain it to them.

she has suffered, but mildly, REALLY mildly, compared to me. strangely, she's on meds and I'm not. they helped me once long ago, but don't seem to now. 

Oh. Well... I dunno then, lol. Maybe those who suffer really mildly can will themselves out of it... or her meds worked great and her positive thinking was a little bit neither here nor there.
That reminds me of a disturbing comment a good friend of mine made recently about his own current issues. He's been struggling with a pretty terrible anxiety disorder for a while now, but is kind of the master of denial sometimes, so he waited until it got so bad he had a mental breakdown. After that he FINALLY tried some meds, which he's been resisting way too long (not that they help everyone, but one needs to at least give it a try when nothing else is working, right?), and once he started the meds (and left his job on extended sick leave) he has started to deal with things a lot better... and now, of course, he's talking about going off the meds. Argh. And he's not saying it because they make him feel like shit. He's saying it because now that he's feeling a fair bit better he's got it in his head that he doesn't need meds anymore. Now he's a smart guy. I know if it was someone else he'd recognize the problematic reasoning going on there. But he's got blinders on when it comes to him sometimes. It worries the hell out of me, especially since he just told me that he's completely ditching his career altogether, based on his inability to handle work during this tough time for him with the anxiety. With that he's also ditching his pension... and he has a special needs child to save for. He's talking about maybe getting a part time job in a deli. Yeah, I'm real worried about the decisions he's making just now, in terms of the long game. He's making some awfully permanent decisions that I think he may regret down the road. But hey, I'm not his wife! All I can do at this point is act like I support his decisions.

HughFreakingDillon

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

PJ_Soul said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

my wife asked me last night if it helps to think of stuff I'm thankful for to take my mind off of it. bless her heart, but she is so far out of her element it really made me realize why she has been so helpless through all of this. she really has no idea.

part of me is glad she doesn't. 

I get the impression that most people who haven't dealt with it themselves simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact that you can't just will or think yourself out of it like that. Like, I don't think they're capable of understanding that no matter how you explain it to them.

she has suffered, but mildly, REALLY mildly, compared to me. strangely, she's on meds and I'm not. they helped me once long ago, but don't seem to now. 

Oh. Well... I dunno then, lol. Maybe those who suffer really mildly can will themselves out of it... or her meds worked great and her positive thinking was a little bit neither here nor there.
That reminds me of a disturbing comment a good friend of mine made recently about his own current issues. He's been struggling with a pretty terrible anxiety disorder for a while now, but is kind of the master of denial sometimes, so he waited until it got so bad he had a mental breakdown. After that he FINALLY tried some meds, which he's been resisting way too long (not that they help everyone, but one needs to at least give it a try when nothing else is working, right?), and once he started the meds (and left his job on extended sick leave) he has started to deal with things a lot better... and now, of course, he's talking about going off the meds. Argh. And he's not saying it because they make him feel like shit. He's saying it because now that he's feeling a fair bit better he's got it in his head that he doesn't need meds anymore. Now he's a smart guy. I know if it was someone else he'd recognize the problematic reasoning going on there. But he's got blinders on when it comes to him sometimes. It worries the hell out of me, especially since he just told me that he's completely ditching his career altogether, based on his inability to handle work during this tough time for him with the anxiety. With that he's also ditching his pension... and he has a special needs child to save for. He's talking about maybe getting a part time job in a deli. Yeah, I'm real worried about the decisions he's making just now, in terms of the long game. He's making some awfully permanent decisions that I think he may regret down the road. But hey, I'm not his wife! All I can do at this point is act like I support his decisions.

no, I just think her condition isn't nearly as bad as mine. she isn't able to will herself out of it, but I think hers is mild enough that meds took that edge off and she's able to deal with it effectively. i was at that same point years ago. 

tell him going off my meds was the biggest mistake I ever made. I did it once consiously, as I didn't like the side effects (sleeping issues, . The other time, I didn't even have side effects. My script lapsed while my daughter was in the hospital, so by the time I got back to normal life, it had been a couple weeks, so I thought, STUPIDLY, "ah, I'm good, so I'll give it a shot". that was 5 years ago, and it's been shit ever since. I was at my worst a couple years ago, lost a bunch of weight (silver lining!) from not eating and sleeping and basically being a shaking leaf for months. it was the worst time of my life and if I could take it back and stay on my meds I would. EVERY. DAMN. TIME. I honestly nearly didn't survive. if I didn't have kids, I probably wouldn't have.