A girl told me I creep her out

2-feign-reluctance said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Hey guys,
I don't know who else to talk to and am quite emotional (in tears) at the moment.
This girl in my lectures and classes who I sit next to at university sent me a blunt message on facebook this morning saying that I creep her out. I admit I like her and asked her out, she said she's working and I asked next time and she said yeah. That was over a month ago and I haven't asked her out again as I wasn't sure. Last night I sent her youtube link of a video of her town.
I woke up this morning and found the following message on my phone which left me shocked and feeling cold.

"So I don't know if you think it's funny or cool but it's actually starting to really creep me out that your looking up where I live and send me links. I can't stop you from looking at what's in my town if you really are interested but could you please stop sending me links I know what my town looks like I've lived here for 18 years

Thank you"

I replied to that message apologising and saying I won't send any more links.

We always clown around and tease each other in classes so I was joking around with her town. I thought she'd laugh about it, find it funny.
Her reaction is so against how she's replied to me in person before during class.
She's lives far away from me on the opposite side of town and I've never been to her town so was curious to see what it looks like.

I don't see myself as a creep and didn't realise I was creeping her out. I feel so embarrassed and disgusted at myself now.
I'll avoid her in uni, not sit next to her to give her space but I feel so terrible that I am thought of as a creep.
Sucks we need to do a group assignment together and meet at uni every week to work on it, I don't know how to go about it.
Do I just do my part and email to the group.

Ask your professor to be moved to a different group and steer clear of her. Not sure if Australia has any Title IX equivalent over there, but if you do, you are putting yourself at risk with continued contact. Don't let one person try to define you - clearly it's both her 'circus' and her 'monkeys'.

Annafalk said:

MayDay10 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

dimitrispearljam said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

dimitrispearljam said:

talk her in person,this text message thing its always mess uip things

I already did, today.

yep,just reading t5he thread,,that was my post at the your first post

2 thing imo..1st..seems to me she changes mood alot,so 1 min might be friendly,next keep distance and act weird
2nd..she is 18?man,,dont get involved with that age..imo,,is too young and will do things u will not understand,as we all do at 18.,,.maybe a girl older,that she knows what she is doing and what she wants..
personally i stay away from young women..,,im 44..i cant even think ill get involved with someone younger than 30-35 years old..must be older

Yeah I normally try for girls no younger than 23 but I find that is even too young for me. This girl was an exception. I was regretting asking her out soon after I did before she said I ceeeped her out. I felt she was keen on me because she walked fast to catch up to me as I was walking to the train station and she messaged me first on Facebook. So I thought I better ask her before I get friendzoned. I thought ok she is younger but was being open minded. Never going to try for a girl that young again. I will live with this regret. I just hope we don't end up in any more classes in future but most likely will see her in lectures as she is studying the same subject.

"Friendzone" is when a guy makes it way too obvious he is interested in a girl, turning her off romantically, and allowing her to kind of play with the guy the way a cat plays with a mouse. There is no turning back.

The key is, if you are attracted to a girl, don't make it obvious. Its like a card game, gotta keep it close to the vest. The girl 'friends' you on facebook and you immediately throw your cards face up on the table and ask her on a date. That's not a good move (and I could see it as potentially pretty overwhelming for an 18 year old girl). The right move would have to not accept her friend request for a few days, don't pay her too much 'direct' attention while in class/in the group, but allow your good qualities to shine out to be noticed (but not obvious). You have to make you giving time to her kind of a privilege to her.

This sounds like a smart move, I also think that it's a good thing to be friends first. Love can grow from friendship.

RKCNDY said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

RKCNDY said:

Are you still taking your medication and seeing your psychiatrist? The one you were talking to last June about your issues at work?

Yeah. Saw him two weeks ago and I was feeling better with a change in medication.

that's good. I hope you understand that there is only so much the people here can do to help you out. You mentioned that your mates were upset because you didn't follow their suggestions to leave her alone, and then you came here. Is there a reason you didn't listen to them? Obviously you trust them somewhat since you do talk to them. They know you better than any of us here, your psychiatrist knows you better then we do. They are your best resources when you have issues, but at some point you're going to have to live your own life for yourself, rather than depending on other people to tell you what to do and how to live your life.

RKCNDY said:

she was probably trying to be nice instead of telling you to 'get the fuck away from me'. You are old enough to be her dad, and that's very unnerving for her. I went on a blind date with a guy who didn't tell me his age until the end. I was 18 and he was 34, that IS creepy. You really should stick to girls 25+. Just be cordial towards her, drop the subject of previous events, move forward.