A girl told me I creep her out

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2016

chadwick said:
well, dude, people who don't full on enjoy music might should be fed to salt water crocs, true/false?

you could always kick her in the shins .... i kid i kid

tell her pearl jam puts out vinyl albums for sale & that she's a dork for not having any

True I say lol.
She doesn't know who Pearl Jam are sadly.

PJfanwillneverleave1 · May 2016

Thoughts_Arrive said:

hedonist said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:
Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.
This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?
Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.
Thank you.

You're on your own OP.

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2016

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

hedonist said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:
Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.
This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?
Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.
Thank you.
You're on your own OP.

WTF are you on about?

deadendp · May 2016

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

hedonist said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:
Not sure. Don't think so as I know she starts work very early in the morning.
This is not a creepy statement in anyway, shape or form whatsoever.
How is it creepy if she told me herself yesterday?
Another thing to not let get under your skin, Thoughts.

PJFan, please take your nonsense elsewhere.
Thank you.
You're on your own OP.
WTF are you on about?

No one ever knows. It isn't just you.

Annafalk · May 2016

At least she told you how she felt getting that picture. She didn't understood the fun that you saw with it apparently. Just don't worry about it.

brianlux · May 2016

If she's open to listening, I'd tell her what your intentions were with the picture emphasizing that there was no ill will and that you only had good intentions. Tell her you're sorry that it didn't come across that way. If that doesn't satisfy her then maybe strongly considering letting it go and move on- I know that's easier said than done sometimes but better to nip your feeling in the bud earlier rather than later, especially if she can't/won't consider a sincere apology. At that point it becomes her loss. You're a good guy Thoughts and you deserve the same!

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2016

Just to clear it up, it was a video of her town and the picture was the shire from LOTR, it was a joke as that part of town is nice compared to my part. There was nothing sexually inappropriate or offensive about what I sent.

mfc2006 · May 2016

Shake it off.

No big deal. She's not the one for you, man!

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2016

brianlux said:
If she's open to listening, I'd tell her what your intentions were with the picture emphasizing that there was no ill will and that you only had good intentions. Tell her you're sorry that it didn't come across that way. If that doesn't satisfy her then maybe strongly considering letting it go and move on- I know that's easier said than done sometimes but better to nip your feeling in the bud earlier rather than later, especially if she can't/won't consider a sincere apology. At that point it becomes her loss. You're a good guy Thoughts and you deserve the same!

Thank you Brian. I don't feel comfortable sitting next to her in the remaining lectures and classes this semester because if she finds me creepy I want to give her space and plus it makes me feel uncomfortable knowing someone is uncomfortable.
I want to unfriend her on facebook but me and this other girl in a group assignment use chat to communicate about our work.
Feeling pretty terrible at the moment, looks like I lack social skills and am just weird.
I reckon I gave a motivational speaker I met the other night a weird vibe too as he was keen to end the conversation. I went up to him after his speech and said I've been following his videos online and they mean a lot to me, but because I was lost for words he looked uncomfortable.
Never had a girlfriend, never will. I suck.
I've been managing my depression well up until today. Why am I such a loser?
It's Friday the 13th, guess it got me.

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2016

This song was made for a guy like me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMBVzcjPiyo

Ray J. T. · May 2016

Thoughts_Arrive said:

chadwick said:
well, dude, people who don't full on enjoy music might should be fed to salt water crocs, true/false?

you could always kick her in the shins .... i kid i kid

tell her pearl jam puts out vinyl albums for sale & that she's a dork for not having any
True I say lol.
She doesn't know who Pearl Jam are sadly.

You have no business with this woman. Buy her some Pearl Jam records and tell her to call you when she is full fledge fan.

SPEEDY MCCREADY · May 2016

You had good intentions
You meant no harm
You are not a creep
You apologized

Don't beat yourself up.

ldent42 · May 2016

What exactly were you hoping to accomplish with the youtube video of her town though?
try and put yourself in her shoes.
"Hey that guy from class who asked me out last month sent me a video..... This video is of the town I live in .... He doesn't live anywhere near here or have any business here and he's looking the place up on youtube... he knows I live here... so he's thinking about where I live even though I gave him the brush off when he asked me out a MONTH ago!??!"

Now do you understand why she felt creeped out?

That said - everyone does/says stupid shit sometimes. Calm yourself. Think things through from other people's perspective. Also you didn't quote her exactly so I'm wondering if she actually said "you creep me out" or "that was creepy please stop doing things like that". It's a fine line.
I don't think you need to stop sitting next to her, unless she's explicitly asked you to leave her alone - but maybe pay more attention in class instead of trying to goof around with her? don't unfriend her on Facebook, but don't like or comment on her posts either. Participate in your project as if nothing had happened, do your part all the same. Don't text her anymore unless it's in response to a text she sent you, or if it's directly related to the group work.

I don't know how much time has passed but I'd suggest maybe instead of "talking" about it just apologise to her for making her feel uncomfortable. Something like "Hey, sorry I made you feel uncomfortable, it was not my intention at all. My bad. I won't do anything like that again, and please tell me if I'm ever making you uncomfortable again."

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2016

ldent42 said:
What exactly were you hoping to accomplish with the youtube video of her town though?
try and put yourself in her shoes.
"Hey that guy from class who asked me out last month sent me a video..... This video is of the town I live in .... He doesn't live anywhere near here or have any business here and he's looking the place up on youtube... he knows I live here... so he's thinking about where I live even though I gave him the brush off when he asked me out a MONTH ago!??!"

Now do you understand why she felt creeped out?

That said - everyone does/says stupid shit sometimes. Calm yourself. Think things through from other people's perspective. Also you didn't quote her exactly so I'm wondering if she actually said "you creep me out" or "that was creepy please stop doing things like that". It's a fine line.
I don't think you need to stop sitting next to her, unless she's explicitly asked you to leave her alone - but maybe pay more attention in class instead of trying to goof around with her? don't unfriend her on Facebook, but don't like or comment on her posts either. Participate in your project as if nothing had happened, do your part all the same. Don't text her anymore unless it's in response to a text she sent you, or if it's directly related to the group work.

I don't know how much time has passed but I'd suggest maybe instead of "talking" about it just apologise to her for making her feel uncomfortable. Something like "Hey, sorry I made you feel uncomfortable, it was not my intention at all. My bad. I won't do anything like that again, and please tell me if I'm ever making you uncomfortable again."

Hey, what I pasted in my first post was copy and pasted from her message, I just removed the town name. I only sent her the link as I found the music to it something she'd find funny.
I've been playfully teasing where she lives and she's teased her town a few times so that is why I sent it.
But I get what you're saying, I feel embarrassed about it. I don't want to sit next to her but I don't want her to feel I am cold shouldering her and mad at her. Maybe if I sit on another table in class and wave/nod my head a high with a smile?
I can be so stupid and lack social skills sometimes.

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2016

So she just sent me a message via the group chat for the assignment which includes the other member of our group just saying all the work I did on my own all day today looks good.
I didn't reply right away, ended up giving just a thumbs up.
Decided to just plough through all the work so I do not have to show up to the group meeting on Tuesday morning where we work on this assignment. I've done most of it. I don't want to show my face.
Still teary thinking about it. Worse still I felt she was interested in me, I've blown it and someone now thinks I am a creep, worse still imagine she complains to the university and I get in trouble or tells other students. I'm trying to fight my way out of depression and was feeling very positive going back to full time study after spending 2 years at home, now this. Life can't give me a break.

ldent42 · May 2016

Can you ask your therapist for an emergency session? By phone if necessary? It sounds like something that you would benefit from.

I'm not a mental health professional so I'm sorry if this is poor advice, but I think you need to do something to get your mind off of this. Play a video game or hit the gym or something. Just to give your brain a break.

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2016

I threw myself into my assignment and am still doing homework.
I am fine, just feeling bad about all of this, sorry that I made a first year university student feel creeped out when she shouldn't be subject to feeling that way especially at university.
Medication helps. I can't afford a therapist, I am un unemployed. I'll be okay, I have you guys and there's a support forum I am part of.
Thank you anyways.

JWPearl · May 2016

Degeneratefk said:
Find another woman.

Don't get mixed into her crazy before the first date!

you don't normally befriend and joke around in class with creeps so she's a mole for doing and saying so but headonist is right tell her about how you joked about things and you thought it would be funny and your sorry if you creeped her out and be sure to tell her you feel bad and imbaressed about it
let her know your human too and not an odd one
sorry for you mate

deadendp · May 2016

Thoughts,

Hang in there.

ldent42 · May 2016

Universities usually have counselling centers, might be something to look into.

A girl told me I creep her out

Comments

Categories