How to have a green lush lawn in 3 easy steps

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  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    mickeyrat wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    Move into the house next door. From what I understand the grass is always greener over there.


    This. This is your answer.
    They do have a nice lawn
    81 is now off the air

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  • I'm a Truck
    I'm a Truck Milwaukee Posts: 3,508
    edited May 2012
    http://i1241.photobucket.com/albums/gg5 ... ewers2.jpg
    Hope that worked? Never uploaded a photo before? Me on the left...
    Post edited by I'm a Truck on
  • Jason P
    Jason P Posts: 19,392
    some frick'n rain would help.

    :fp:
    Be Excellent To Each Other
    Party On, Dudes!
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    get rid of your lawn and plant native plants ... they will be more tolerant to your weather and in the long run less to maintain ... i don't get why people would want to maintain lawns ... you grow the grass just so you can cut it ... you pump a bunch of weed killer and other pesticides so nothing else grows on it ... then you gotta use all this water to keep it green ... :fp:
  • Jason P
    Jason P Posts: 19,392
    polaris_x wrote:
    get rid of your lawn and plant native plants ... they will be more tolerant to your weather and in the long run less to maintain ... i don't get why people would want to maintain lawns ... you grow the grass just so you can cut it ... you pump a bunch of weed killer and other pesticides so nothing else grows on it ... then you gotta use all this water to keep it green ... :fp:
    You can't hit practice golf balls off of plants.

    :fp:
    Be Excellent To Each Other
    Party On, Dudes!
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    Jason P wrote:
    You can't hit practice golf balls off of plants.

    :fp:

    get some used carpet and those whiffle balls ... ;)
  • I'm a Truck
    I'm a Truck Milwaukee Posts: 3,508
    81 wrote:
    sooooo....what are the steps?

    :fp:
    You know what.... Fuck it! you give me computer lessons I'll fix you lawn!
  • uninnocent-
    uninnocent- Posts: 5,959
    underpants-gnomes-business-model.png

    Replace "Profit" with "Green lush lawn" and you should be good.
  • Jason P
    Jason P Posts: 19,392
    polaris_x wrote:
    Jason P wrote:
    You can't hit practice golf balls off of plants.

    :fp:

    get some used carpet and those whiffle balls ... ;)
    Still, you have to weed plants and gardens. I prefer to fire up a two-stroke engine while drinking a kokanee and lay waste to everything in my path. 8-)
    Be Excellent To Each Other
    Party On, Dudes!
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    I'm a Truck wrote:
    81 wrote:
    sooooo....what are the steps?

    :fp:
    You know what.... Fuck it! you give me computer lessons I'll fix you lawn!

    you wanna learn excel? access? i do it all.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • Black Diamond
    Black Diamond Posts: 25,109
    81 wrote:
    I'm a Truck wrote:
    81 wrote:
    sooooo....what are the steps?

    :fp:
    You know what.... Fuck it! you give me computer lessons I'll fix you lawn!

    you wanna learn excel? access? i do it all.
    Self satisfaction goes right out the door :lol:
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    Black Diamond wrote:
    Self satisfaction goes right out the door :lol:

    seeing your protégé excel > lawn work. :mrgreen:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • Claireack
    Claireack Posts: 13,561
    You could buy some of that plastic grass.
    <a href="http://s952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/?action=view&current=domo.jpg&quot; target="_blank"><img src="http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/domo.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 45,218
    Claireack wrote:
    You could buy some of that plastic grass.
    again, too cheap. :mrgreen:
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  • Lizard
    Lizard So Cal Posts: 12,092
    mickeyrat wrote:
    Move into the house next door. From what I understand the grass is always greener over there.


    This. This is your answer.
    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    quit peeing on it
  • JonnyPistachio
    JonnyPistachio Florida Posts: 10,219
    norm wrote:
    quit peeing on it

    Yup, but poo is a good fertilizer I hear, so you can poo on your lawn. Yes, thats is the secret. it is out. Poo on your lawn. no pee, just poo.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    I'm a Truck wrote:
    http://i1241.photobucket.com/albums/gg503/joshtruck3/brewers2.jpg
    Hope that worked? Never uploaded a photo before? Me on the left...


    perhaps you can cut out a few hundred square feet of turf and bring it down :?:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • vduboise
    vduboise Posts: 1,937
    sorry to say- its best to start over. I did with the back yard, had it tilled and seeded and after 1 month or so- beautiful green grass. There are a few weeds, but in another month I can do some weed and feed and get rid of them. You can always put down sod- but it can be expensive if you have a big yard.

    Make sure it gets plenty of water and feed it in the beginning and end of the season.

    good luck.
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 45,218
    vduboise wrote:
    sorry to say- its best to start over. I did with the back yard, had it tilled and seeded and after 1 month or so- beautiful green grass. There are a few weeds, but in another month I can do some weed and feed and get rid of them. You can always put down sod- but it can be expensive if you have a big yard.

    Make sure it gets plenty of water and feed it in the beginning and end of the season.

    good luck.
    I may have to do this with half the GF's backyard. just need to get some temp fencing to keep the dogs off the dirt.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14

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