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How to have a green lush lawn in 3 easy steps

8181 Posts: 58,276
edited September 2013 in All Encompassing Trip
sooooo....what are the steps?

:fp:
81 is now off the air

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Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    1. Work on Wall Street.
    2. Call a Landscaping Company.
    3. Make sure you go to the club while they are gardening.
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • rival.rival. Posts: 7,775
    1. live in an apartment complex and not worry about a lawn.
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    1. buy green spray paint
    2. buy beer
    3. wear your old shoes
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,535
    edited May 2012
    Move into the house next door. From what I understand the grass is always greener over there.


    This. This is your answer.
    Post edited by mickeyrat on
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    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
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  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    Lots of Nitrogen
    aerate
    and water deeply once a week

    also sit on the front porch with cocktails sending loving vibes
    to every little blade of grass out there ...
    this really works! :D
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    pandora wrote:
    Lots of Nitrogen
    aerate
    and water deeply once a week

    also sit on the front porch with cocktails sending loving vibes
    to every little blade of grass out there ...
    this really works! :D

    i think i'm about ready to till the entire damn thing and start over. :x it's driving me nuts.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 Posts: 12,632
    fire
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    pandora wrote:
    Lots of Nitrogen
    aerate
    and water deeply once a week

    also sit on the front porch with cocktails sending loving vibes
    to every little blade of grass out there ...
    this really works! :D

    :D
    I agree!I talk to my lawn and bushes all the time.
    I had a small backyard a few years ago and I decided to go with the Bermuda golf grass. I would enjoy a cocktail out there all the time. It was awesome, but very high maintenance.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • neilybabes86neilybabes86 Posts: 16,057
    make the workers do it ...
    i post on the board of a band that doesn't exsist anymore .......i need my head examined.......
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,535
    neilybabes86 wrote:
    make the workers do it ...
    81 is too cheap to hire it out.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    edited May 2012
    mickeyrat wrote:
    neilybabes86 wrote:
    make the workers do it ...
    81 is too cheap to hire it out.

    fact

    and it just doesn't have the same satisfaction
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 Posts: 12,632
    lather
    rinse
    repeat
  • mikalinamikalina Posts: 7,206
    Lots and lots of Cheap Beer - I'm serious - I'm not a beer drinker but it does wonders for the lawn :P
    ********************************************************************************************* image
  • I'm a TruckI'm a Truck Posts: 3,508
    81 wrote:
    sooooo....what are the steps?

    :fp:
    If it's already bad best to start fresh otherwise its a neverending battle. I tilled out parts if my lawn and have a nice part of Miller Park grass growing now. The difference is amazing. Trust me don't think you can fix it easy.
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    I'm a Truck wrote:
    81 wrote:
    sooooo....what are the steps?

    :fp:
    If it's already bad best to start fresh otherwise its a neverending battle. I tilled out parts if my lawn and have a nice part of Miller Park grass growing now. The difference is amazing. Trust me don't think you can fix it easy.

    i was just looking at tilling stuff. :fp:

    the back isn't so bad. although a couple of spots are. the front and side tho, seems like no matter what i do, they still stink. :fp:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 Posts: 12,632
    Live in a baseball park:


    100_1471.jpg
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    81 wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    neilybabes86 wrote:
    make the workers do it ...
    81 is too cheap to hire it out.

    fact

    and it just doesn't have the same satisfaction
    Oh trust me... When my wife and I are sitting in our backyard sipping some G&T and looking out of our estate... the level of satisfaction is palpable.










    :lol:
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    81 wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Lots of Nitrogen
    aerate
    and water deeply once a week

    also sit on the front porch with cocktails sending loving vibes
    to every little blade of grass out there ...
    this really works! :D

    i think i'm about ready to till the entire damn thing and start over. :x it's driving me nuts.
    I know the feeling our lawn service even gave up :lol:

    If you do that go with sod, we went with seed and it was still never great.
    It's true though use starter fertilizer or anything high in nitrogen often
    really gets it going...

    the cocktails help too
    :D
  • zarocatzarocat Posts: 1,901
    Black Diamond wrote:
    1. Work on Wall Street.
    2. Call a Landscaping Company.
    3. Make sure you go to the club while they are gardening.

    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
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  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,535
    mickeyrat wrote:
    Move into the house next door. From what I understand the grass is always greener over there.


    This. This is your answer.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    mickeyrat wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    Move into the house next door. From what I understand the grass is always greener over there.


    This. This is your answer.
    They do have a nice lawn
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • I'm a TruckI'm a Truck Posts: 3,508
    edited May 2012
    http://i1241.photobucket.com/albums/gg5 ... ewers2.jpg
    Hope that worked? Never uploaded a photo before? Me on the left...
    Post edited by I'm a Truck on
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,138
    some frick'n rain would help.

    :fp:
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 13,559
    get rid of your lawn and plant native plants ... they will be more tolerant to your weather and in the long run less to maintain ... i don't get why people would want to maintain lawns ... you grow the grass just so you can cut it ... you pump a bunch of weed killer and other pesticides so nothing else grows on it ... then you gotta use all this water to keep it green ... :fp:
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,138
    polaris_x wrote:
    get rid of your lawn and plant native plants ... they will be more tolerant to your weather and in the long run less to maintain ... i don't get why people would want to maintain lawns ... you grow the grass just so you can cut it ... you pump a bunch of weed killer and other pesticides so nothing else grows on it ... then you gotta use all this water to keep it green ... :fp:
    You can't hit practice golf balls off of plants.

    :fp:
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 13,559
    Jason P wrote:
    You can't hit practice golf balls off of plants.

    :fp:

    get some used carpet and those whiffle balls ... ;)
  • I'm a TruckI'm a Truck Posts: 3,508
    81 wrote:
    sooooo....what are the steps?

    :fp:
    You know what.... Fuck it! you give me computer lessons I'll fix you lawn!
  • uninnocent-uninnocent- Posts: 5,959
    underpants-gnomes-business-model.png

    Replace "Profit" with "Green lush lawn" and you should be good.
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,138
    polaris_x wrote:
    Jason P wrote:
    You can't hit practice golf balls off of plants.

    :fp:

    get some used carpet and those whiffle balls ... ;)
    Still, you have to weed plants and gardens. I prefer to fire up a two-stroke engine while drinking a kokanee and lay waste to everything in my path. 8-)
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    I'm a Truck wrote:
    81 wrote:
    sooooo....what are the steps?

    :fp:
    You know what.... Fuck it! you give me computer lessons I'll fix you lawn!

    you wanna learn excel? access? i do it all.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
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