Sister is in a Abusive relationship ...

eyedclaar · February 2011

chadwick wrote:

i just done a complete cartwheel, full on right here in my computer chair.
that's right, a full on cartwheel in my seat.

pandora promoted violence in agreement with eyed and self.
finally she has warmed my heart.

pandora, i could hug you.

Really, what the hell? I thought she was going to suggest the guy just needed a new puppy or something. Pandora is officially part of my posse now. Hope she looks great in a ski mask.

Johnnyguitarwatson · February 2011

I think its settled then ... I with a few friends will have to meet up with him after work and have a little discussion. I fear jail and losing my job but if this is what has to be Done then o guess I'm left with no other option. Maybe I'll get my other brothers involved and just tune this prick up ... Damn I just took a sigh of relief and feel totally relaxed right now. I guess violence is the answer...I'll keep ya's posted

pandora · February 2011

Dissidentman wrote:

pandora wrote:

The most troubling part is will she ever be rid of him?

Many abusers, the longer they are with their victim, the less chance they will ever let go.
They stalk and even kill their estranged mates after the abused finally makes a stand and leaves.

They will never change, they are sick and twisted and need someone to punish.

I'm not telling you anything you don't know in your heart
but perhaps your sister doesn't know it.
If you can gather some info on crimes like this and share with her....clocks ticking.

And I am also very much with Chadwick and eyed on this..the guy needs an ass wiping of his life
like put him the hospital and fear for his life, if he ever touches your sister again.

Your family will not stand for this. He must move on.

I'd prefer he receive a good ass whipping to an ass wiping though. I'm in when the posse pays this dude a visit.

oh my :oops:

pandora · February 2011

eyedclaar wrote:

chadwick wrote:

i just done a complete cartwheel, full on right here in my computer chair.
that's right, a full on cartwheel in my seat.

pandora promoted violence in agreement with eyed and self.
finally she has warmed my heart.

pandora, i could hug you.

Really, what the hell? I thought she was going to suggest the guy just needed a new puppy or something. Pandora is officially part of my posse now. Hope she looks great in a ski mask.

Ready when you are

g under p · February 2011

Dissidentman wrote:

pandora wrote:

The most troubling part is will she ever be rid of him?

Many abusers, the longer they are with their victim, the less chance they will ever let go.
They stalk and even kill their estranged mates after the abused finally makes a stand and leaves.

They will never change, they are sick and twisted and need someone to punish.

I'm not telling you anything you don't know in your heart
but perhaps your sister doesn't know it.
If you can gather some info on crimes like this and share with her....clocks ticking.

And I am also very much with Chadwick and eyed on this..the guy needs an ass wiping of his life
like put him the hospital and fear for his life, if he ever touches your sister again.

Your family will not stand for this. He must move on.

I'd prefer he receive a good ass whipping to an ass wiping though. I'm in when the posse pays this dude a visit.

I would just make sure his sister ok with this since she's still defending her abusive husband or she'll just end up being just Just Another Victim Kid...

Peace

pandora · February 2011

Even if Sis isn't ok with the family taking a stand against the abuser,
the family needs to unite and have the strength she doesn't.

If we refuse to be victims there can be no abusers

norm · February 2011

eyedclaar wrote:

Yeah, I'd rather break the motherfucker's neck and have my sister hate me... I couldn't live with myself if I didn't pull him aside secretly and let him know, in no uncertain terms, that if he ever touched her again, he would vanish from the face of the earth...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjYsAxM0XA4

Claireack · February 2011

tinkerbell wrote:

I'm so sorry that your sister is going through this. When someone is treated so poorly by someone they love it is very hard for them to see the full force of what is going on around them. There is no need to use physical violence against the boyfriend, but yours and family and friends silence towards him won't help the matter. IF your sister decides to go back to this creep, the best thing you can do is be there, show up unannounced, ring her. One of the horrible side effects of abuse is the way the abusers isolate their victims. Don't let that happen to your sister.

I know it is frustrating but hold on, she needs you.

Agree with tinkerbell.

Repeated abuse often leads to an incredibly low self esteem and it takes a lot of support to make the decision to leave and not go back. Just keep letting her know that that you're there for her when she needs you, whether it's to talk or help move or whatever.

RKCNDY · February 2011

pandora wrote:

Even if Sis isn't ok with the family taking a stand against the abuser,
the family needs to unite and have the strength she doesn't.

If we refuse to be victims there can be no abusers

sorry, but I disagree Pandora....been there, done that. I made him end it because he didn't want to, he continued to bother me, I got the courts and the po-po involved, he was legally barred from contacting me for 2 years....that was 10 years ago and not a day goes by when I don't think 'oh god, I hope he doesn't find me' (he has a habit of trying to find all of his ex's)...all of my social networking pages are under fake names. I despise public information laws for this reason.
I really wish I knew eyed back then....nothing would be better than knowing that he doesn't live in the same state I do. Actually, other things would be better...but I'll keep those thoughts to myself......

tinkerbell · February 2011

This fuckwit needs to be shown how strongly you and your family care for your sister. Showing up with baseball bats may be enough (without having to actually use them) but I think words would work better. If he feels threatened then that may be the worst thing for your sister, abusers are great at not leaving visible physical signs. Another option is to talk to his family and friends and try to get them on your side.

My father in law used to beat my mother in law, my husband and his siblings for years, after years she fled to a women's refuge. This was the trigger for him to change. He went to anger management and councilling. He is such a changed man. Not all abusers are capable to do this but he is this way for a reason, breaking the cycle is hard, but it might be possible. I am in no way trying to defend this wanker, but who knows what happened to him to make him this way?

prism · February 2011

the hotline can give you info on things you can do to help her....& perhaps guide you towards local agencies in her area that can help...

yes, she has to be the one to want out...but friends and family can call the hotline too to seek more specific ways to help & support her through it

24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

http://www.thehotline.org/get-educated/ ... ng-abused/

Don’t be afraid to let him or her know that you are concerned for their safety. Help your friend or family member recognize the abuse. Tell him or her you see what is going on and that you want to help. Help them recognize that what is happening is not “normal” and that they deserve a healthy, non-violent relationship.

Acknowledge that he or she is in a very difficult and scary situation. Let your friend or family member know that the abuse is not their fault. Reassure him or her that they are not alone and that there is help and support out there.

Be supportive. Listen to your friend or family member. Remember that it may be difficult for him or her to talk about the abuse. Let him or her know that you are available to help whenever they may need it. What they need most is someone who will believe and listen to them.

Be non-judgmental. Respect your friend or family member’s decisions. There are many reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. He or she may leave and return to the relationship many times. Do not criticize his or her decisions or try to guilt them. He or she will need your support even more during those times.

Encourage him or her to participate in activities outside of the relationship with friends and family.

If he or she ends the relationship, continue to be supportive of them. Even though the relationship was abusive, your friend or family member may still feel sad and lonely once it is over. He or she will need time to mourn the loss of the relationship and will especially need your support at that time.

Help him or her to develop a safety plan.

Encourage him or her to talk to people who can provide help and guidance. Find a local domestic violence agency that provides counseling or support groups. Offer to go with him or her to talk to family and friends. If he or she has to go to the police, court or a lawyer, offer to go along for moral support.

Remember that you cannot “rescue” him or her. Although it is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately the person getting hurt has to be the one to decide that they want to do something about it. It’s important for you to support him or her and help them find a way to safety and peace.

If you think your friend or family member may be abusive, click here to find out more.

Please call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224 to discuss your concerns and questions.

pandora · February 2011

4and20 wrote:

pandora wrote:

Even if Sis isn't ok with the family taking a stand against the abuser,
the family needs to unite and have the strength she doesn't.

If we refuse to be victims there can be no abusers

sorry, but I disagree Pandora....been there, done that. I made him end it because he didn't want to, he continued to bother me, I got the courts and the po-po involved, he was legally barred from contacting me for 2 years....that was 10 years ago and not a day goes by when I don't think 'oh god, I hope he doesn't find me' (he has a habit of trying to find all of his ex's)...all of my social networking pages are under fake names. I despise public information laws for this reason.
I really wish I knew eyed back then....nothing would be better than knowing that he doesn't live in the same state I do. Actually, other things would be better...but I'll keep those thoughts to myself......

:wave: If you mean the abuser won't let go that was my original post, the longer one stays the more the abuser will not let go, the more dangerous it becomes...and he needs a good ass whipping...got it right this time

This post I was replying to the fact that maybe even if the sister is not ok with the family getting involved....
to threaten etc... in my belief thats doesn't matter, a united family can only help.

eyedclaar · February 2011

pandora wrote:

If you mean the abuser won't let go that was my original post, the longer one stays the more the abuser will not let go, the more dangerous it becomes...and he needs a good ass whipping...got it right this time This post I was replying to the fact that maybe even if the sister is not ok with the family getting involved....
to threaten etc... in my belief thats doesn't matter, a united family can only help.

See, if it was my sister, she wouldn't even know I talked to the guy because that would be part of the agreement the motherfucker agreed to.

A: Do it again and I'll kill you
B: Tell my sister I talked with you and I'll kill you
C: I'm probably just gonna kill you anyway so tread lightly

Are we agreed?

chadwick · February 2011

BinauralJam wrote:

chadwick wrote:

pandora wrote:

The most troubling part is will she ever be rid of him?

Many abusers, the longer they are with their victim, the less chance they will ever let go.
They stalk and even kill their estranged mates after the abused finally makes a stand and leaves.

They will never change, they are sick and twisted and need someone to punish.

I'm not telling you anything you don't know in your heart
but perhaps your sister doesn't know it.
If you can gather some info on crimes like this and share with her....clocks ticking.

And I am also very much with Chadwick and eyed on this..the guy needs an ass wiping of his life
like put him the hospital and fear for his life, if he ever touches your sister again.

Your family will not stand for this. He must move on.

i just done a complete cartwheel, full on right here in my computer chair.
that's right, a full on cartwheel in my seat.

pandora promoted violence in agreement with eyed and self.
finally she has warmed my heart.

pandora, i could hug you.

It was kind of Hot
Yes/No ?

that's why i excused myself earlier.
yes.

Lizard · February 2011

Abusers live by violence so I say give it back to them.
My husband had to kick my ex's ass.

tinkerbell · February 2011

eyedclaar wrote:

pandora wrote:

If you mean the abuser won't let go that was my original post, the longer one stays the more the abuser will not let go, the more dangerous it becomes...and he needs a good ass whipping...got it right this time This post I was replying to the fact that maybe even if the sister is not ok with the family getting involved....
to threaten etc... in my belief thats doesn't matter, a united family can only help.

See, if it was my sister, she wouldn't even know I talked to the guy because that would be part of the agreement the motherfucker agreed to.

A: Do it again and I'll kill you
B: Tell my sister I talked with you and I'll kill you
C: I'm probably just gonna kill you anyway so tread lightly

Are we agreed?

I would love to think that my brothers would do that for me. Not that my husband would ever hit me, I'm more likely to hit him

chadwick · February 2011

Johnnyguitarwatson wrote:

I think its settled then ... I with a few friends will have to meet up with him after work and have a little discussion. I fear jail and losing my job but if this is what has to be Done then o guess I'm left with no other option. Maybe I'll get my other brothers involved and just tune this prick up ... Damn I just took a sigh of relief and feel totally relaxed right now. I guess violence is the answer...I'll keep ya's posted

brothers?

other brothers

i am reading this correctly.
ok.

(pausing to think before hitting sumbit)

pandora · February 2011

eyedclaar wrote:

pandora wrote:

If you mean the abuser won't let go that was my original post, the longer one stays the more the abuser will not let go, the more dangerous it becomes...and he needs a good ass whipping...got it right this time This post I was replying to the fact that maybe even if the sister is not ok with the family getting involved....
to threaten etc... in my belief thats doesn't matter, a united family can only help.

See, if it was my sister, she wouldn't even know I talked to the guy because that would be part of the agreement the motherfucker agreed to.

A: Do it again and I'll kill you
B: Tell my sister I talked with you and I'll kill you
C: I'm probably just gonna kill you anyway so tread lightly

Are we agreed?

Brut force I agree

and this young woman is lucky to have family to support her and brothers to make it clear
no one gets away with this.

unfortunately so many victims have no family or anyone to fight for them

prism · February 2011

pandora wrote:

4and20 wrote:

pandora wrote:

Even if Sis isn't ok with the family taking a stand against the abuser,
the family needs to unite and have the strength she doesn't.

If we refuse to be victims there can be no abusers

sorry, but I disagree Pandora....been there, done that. I made him end it because he didn't want to, he continued to bother me, I got the courts and the po-po involved, he was legally barred from contacting me for 2 years....that was 10 years ago and not a day goes by when I don't think 'oh god, I hope he doesn't find me' (he has a habit of trying to find all of his ex's)...all of my social networking pages are under fake names. I despise public information laws for this reason.
I really wish I knew eyed back then....nothing would be better than knowing that he doesn't live in the same state I do. Actually, other things would be better...but I'll keep those thoughts to myself......

:wave: If you mean the abuser won't let go that was my original post, the longer one stays the more the abuser will not let go, the more dangerous it becomes...and he needs a good ass whipping...got it right this time This post I was replying to the fact that maybe even if the sister is not ok with the family getting involved....
to threaten etc... in my belief thats doesn't matter, a united family can only help.

i understand where you're coming from because to anyone outside of the situtation giving the abuser a good ass whupping sounds great (i'd be gratifying to see the fucker suffer) ...even just threatening him seems like an easy soulution...it'd be over & done he'll take off. however it's very likely he will come back around (especially if he has freinds, family, a job in the area) and (perhaps not right away) she'll be made to suffer even more abuse

the thing is though in reality if her family does kick his ass, she will defend the abuser (it's a form of stockholm syndrome...which it sounds like she's already in) and she'll further distance herself from her family & friends...

RKCNDY · February 2011

edited...sorry this post did not belong here

Sister is in a Abusive relationship ...

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