also i wanna know what is so terrible about getting arrested for defending your sister? cops will treat you like a king. 95% of the convicts in the jail with you will view you as a great brother to your sister. the remaining 5% beat on women and children themselves and will most likey sit there and shut the fuck up.
and what's the judge going to do when he reads the ever growing track record of the "bad guy" vs' your pretty clean record that might have traffic violations on it?
judge... your honor.
this guy beat on my sister for x years. so i took the matter into my own hands. he is a broken mess in the hospital. hopefully he never hurts anyone ever again.
you, Sir, are on 6 months probation.
and the "mean guy"may sue you for medical bills.
case closed... hammer down.
(who gives a shit?)
Well the JGW does and his love towards his sister or he would never have posted here....also anyone else who has been in this situation including myself. Your scenerio sounds something from a Hollywood movie and those movies many times are not true to life. We all know the risks and the consequences to those actions....
good luck.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
Reading through this it looks to me, some see this situation so logically and without emotion,
except those men who are willing to take action and defend their sisters/the victims.
Sometimes it's best to put logic away and be emotional.
I said before I am amazed 41 years after my sisters experience women are still being beaten
Quite obvious to me that whatever we are doing as a society is not working.
Somehow the message is still in place that it is acceptable, that the abuser can and does
get away with it, that there is no consequence.
Its time for a tough stance and stop being afraid of the abuser..afraid he will do more damage.
He is already doing irreparable damage and fear is what he feeds on.
Don't fear him, stop him.
Violence begets violence...time for the perpetrators to learn this too
when it is their blood running down the shower drain.
Many times in life THE worst decisions are made when our emotions gets the best of us ESPECIALLY when we are talking about moving forward with violence. However, if you feel violence is the answer and will solve this OP's sister's abusive husband's abuse then please go ahead and take your chances.
Peace
I'm pretty sure they are not married..people have assumed that but I believe it is a relationship.
This makes scaring the shit out of him easier yet and perhaps he will move along.
Actually I am greatly guided by emotion and have made some very good decisions based on that.
I move with my heart...my gut
this idea of not punishing a punisher on his level, the only real way he will get it,
is illogical to me .
I think what people are doing is being civil, anti vigilante, the way we all have been taught.
Leave it to the authorities.
But how many times have we seen the abuser eventually kill?
hunt them down if they have had the courage to seek refuge
or just go too far in their normal routine of beating.
and the authorities have done nothing, nothing that can prevent it anyways.
If at the very beginning of this....when the abuser starts...
someone made to so very clear he would die if he did that again,
if he ever laid a hand on that women or child again he would die.
I personally think he would leave. He would find another victim.
For me that would be worth a try to save my loved one.
also i wanna know what is so terrible about getting arrested for defending your sister? cops will treat you like a king. 95% of the convicts in the jail with you will view you as a great brother to your sister. the remaining 5% beat on women and children themselves and will most likey sit there and shut the fuck up.
and what's the judge going to do when he reads the ever growing track record of the "bad guy" vs' your pretty clean record that might have traffic violations on it?
judge... your honor.
this guy beat on my sister for x years. so i took the matter into my own hands. he is a broken mess in the hospital. hopefully he never hurts anyone ever again.
you, Sir, are on 6 months probation.
and the "mean guy"may sue you for medical bills.
case closed... hammer down.
(who gives a shit?)
Cops will treat you like a king eh ? ...and the judge comparing track records will matter ? man, i can tell you're not from Philadelphia. I respect your views and appreciate your feedback but thats not how it is in this City.
i contacted my sis through FB today and was happy to hear that she had extended her stay in Texas until the 2nd week in march. I'm not sure if shes talking to her bf or not but at least this gives my family some time to figure things out.
G under P, why are you so sure you'd be caught? If it was me:
A: The perp would have no idea who had sent the message
B: My sister would be kept totally in the dark to my actions; she wouldn't know either
C: There would be zero evidence tying me to the crimes Were my sister to ever find out, I'd have to hope that if she was capable of tolerating the torture of an abusive relationship, she'd be able to forgive a brother who loved her.
The person I referred to earlier in this thread had zero idea who was after him. He just knew that someone capable of great harm was monitoring his actions and because he felt his life was in danger, he fled the state. I was never arrested, never questioned, and the problem was solved instantly. Obviously different dynamics, but still.
Mostly it sounds like what I'm hearing is just do nothing and see if the situation resolves itself. No thanks.
Again, you can't just confront someone and beat the shit out of them. Tempting, yes, but you get caught that way.
Well eyedclaar in seeking this heroric action in threathening and seeking justice one may want to know this is STILL a crime you would be commiting. IF I were to go forward in committing this violent crime yes he would probably would not be living and the many variables could cause this to go very wrong. IF I'm foolish enough to threathen someone and seek justice in this violent manner I'm one who would NOT try to cover up the crime nor would I try to run from the authorities. I would just sit there and wait for them to take me away. I don't know maybe it's some honor code I once learned a long time ago but that's just my somewhat unusual inner wiring.
As to carrying forth this action in defense of the OP's sister or my own let's take a look at what possibly could go wrong.
What could go wrong....
Abuser gets beaten up.....you could be arrested
Abuser gets beaten up.....he could be killed or in HIS self defense in his mind kill you
Abuser gets beaten up.....violence towards your/his sister will escalates if he survives a beating.
Abuser gets beaten up.....even if you got away with this action what will your/his sister think of you? IF she is defending that husband she will dispise you for the rest of your life.
I believe the key here is the OP's sister IF she STILL has the stance of defending her husband ALL of this violent action is worthless and makes no sense to me. I would want the best interest for his sister and my own and this action doesn't seem to solve it to me.
Now I would NEVER EVER sit by and do nothing nor have I said any such thing in the past. Since she still defends her husband,, I would talk to her and let her know that if this continues in this mariage your life could end. I would give her, show her battered wives shelters for her to escape when she is READY. Again the key is the abused, she has to be the one to say enough. I believe one can't make/force an addict to quit, untill he or she has to want to quit. Take a look at the current President, he has an addiction of smoking and has continued to smoke until HE made the descision to give it up. He made that decision and i believe has given up smoking. We have not walked in her shoes any of us so we have to remember she didn't say I do to you she said I do to that abusive husband.The second she says enough I would be there (you should be there) for whatever it is she needs or wants to get out of this situation. Then give her all the family love she may have been missing living in this abusive marriage.
My last point and question...IF it is a must to go forward with this violent action and crime in seeking justice with threats....is it worth the risks involved when the OP'S sister is still defending her husband? IS it?
Peace
thank you, G under P....
what you have said here and in this thread with your ability to look at the big picture is spot on.
i'd also like to mention (read after SHE decides to get out) that part of the on-going counseling/healing process is learning how to take the steps on how to to break the cycle of violence. she has to learn that she doesn't have to accept abusive men or relationships in her life.
especially with any children involved... obviously if the kids have been seeing their Mom get beaten...then someone else close to the family beats the shit outta Dad or Mom's bf (the abuser) what kind of message does it send to her children? that violence is a way of life & is the answer to all of lifes problems...so it's okay for them to be violent too...then sadly (for them & soceity) they'll grow into becoming violent teens/adults
i was fortunate in that i left while my kids were very little, my oldest was not yet 3...but i still had to learn how to teach them that violence doesn't solve anything overall... that's the lesson they've grown & live by now as adults
also i wanna know what is so terrible about getting arrested for defending your sister? cops will treat you like a king. 95% of the convicts in the jail with you will view you as a great brother to your sister. the remaining 5% beat on women and children themselves and will most likey sit there and shut the fuck up.
and what's the judge going to do when he reads the ever growing track record of the "bad guy" vs' your pretty clean record that might have traffic violations on it?
judge... your honor.
this guy beat on my sister for x years. so i took the matter into my own hands. he is a broken mess in the hospital. hopefully he never hurts anyone ever again.
you, Sir, are on 6 months probation.
and the "mean guy"may sue you for medical bills.
case closed... hammer down.
(who gives a shit?)
Cops will treat you like a king eh ? ...and the judge comparing track records will matter ? man, i can tell you're not from Philadelphia. I respect your views and appreciate your feedback but thats not how it is in this City.
i contacted my sis through FB today and was happy to hear that she had extended her stay in Texas until the 2nd week in march. I'm not sure if shes talking to her bf or not but at least this gives my family some time to figure things out.
he must be talking about mayberry rfd....where the town drunk otis was treated like a king :P :lolno:
it's not just philadelphia.... that not how it is anywhere anymore.
it's good to hear that she's decided to extend her stay...sounds like some steps in the right direct. hopefully that she continues and decides not to ever go back to him.
i wish her the best of luck...along with you & the rest of her loved ones
My sister was dating a guy for a year, a thug type guy that I never liked. One day, I heard from a friend of hers that he had been beating her. Then, it suddenly all came together in my head. Wearing long sleeves all summer? Hoodies? Make-up around my mom's house. Hiding in her room. Sneaking around.
Hiding the bruises. So, one day, I took her phone from her, called him up, and told him that the next time I see him, I'm going to literally break the arm off that he hits my sister with, and literally beat him into a coma with it. I wasn't kidding. At first, he denied everything, but, eventually started defending his actions, and told me I "can't fight" and I'm "a pussy."
So, I invited him out to my gym where I am a BJJ, karate, and kickboxing coach, for a "private sparring session." He declined. Boy, I sure was shocked. Apparently it "wasn't worth it" to beat up a "bitch like" me. So, I called him a chicken shit pussy and reminded him that if I happen to see him on the street, I will, in fact, beat him nearly to death.
Hey, it's all self-defense, he'd have attacked me first. Seriously, are the cops (many of whom I know on a personal level) going to honestly believe that an publicly-commended professional firefighter such as myself initiated a physical conflict with an unemployed thug with a criminal record?
Just sayin'.
for that to work out how many of those pesky outside witnesses are you gonna have to take out with him?
with all of this hollywood machismo...perhaps you & all those in this thread in favor of giving the abuser an ass kickin thus making him disappear forever... why not just call in dexter and be done with it?
Cops will treat you like a king eh ? ...and the judge comparing track records will matter ? man, i can tell you're not from Philadelphia. I respect your views and appreciate your feedback but thats not how it is in this City.
i contacted my sis through FB today and was happy to hear that she had extended her stay in Texas until the 2nd week in march. I'm not sure if shes talking to her bf or not but at least this gives my family some time to figure things out.
rural iowa. good ole boy country. are you kidding me? some in here believe i am funnin' around about getting a free pass out of a jam (or several free passes over the course of a lifetime...and ticking). believe it. i am not bullshitting anyone.
possession of pot marijuana... nothing.
happened more than once.
possession of alcohol under legal age... nothing.
happened more than once.
drunk driving... nothing.
happened more than once. (a few times was on a dirt bike out running the police in the dark, no headlight or taillight or brakes and drunk as shit with a drunk passenger. until... until i gave up)
i got a no motorcycle license ticket, no headlight or brakelight ticket.
139 times... @ least, the law caught me and my brothers riding our motorcycles on public roadways.
how does a 12 yr old boy have a motorcycle license and a 360 honda with a shotgun strapped to the back of it?
easy. no motorcycle license and im going hunting. no hunting license either.
"take the motorcycles home. i don't know how many times i gotta tell you kids, keep them in the fields"
fighting... sometimes trouble sometimes nothing. my lawyer is friends with the judge. they duck hunt together and grew up together. both about 60 yrs old. small town iowa. do you honestly believe these two respectable men who serve the law didn't fuck around raising a ruckus when they were young?
forget about it.
the list goes on and on and on.
i am one of the luckiest people walking the planet.
plus all the other crap i been through.
i am amazed i am alive.
please do not shoot my statements down as hollywood movie script material.
it is my life and what i know and what works (or doesn't) for me.
i thank my grandfather and my father. mom's family too.
No one would ever ever EVER get away with hitting my sister - whether she went back for more or not. I'm a caveman like that.
and i love you for it.
i never really chit chatted with you before. now that i know youre a caveman i am kind of excited to have a new friend.
wanna hang out and do something stupid?
Chad, I think we've crossed paths before - I think you've told me your stories of trucking through Philly before - but we've never had a good heart to heart. Maybe we should take a weekend at the local spa and get some facials.....erm....I mean.....smash each other's faces in!
No one would ever ever EVER get away with hitting my sister - whether she went back for more or not. I'm a caveman like that.
and i love you for it.
i never really chit chatted with you before. now that i know youre a caveman i am kind of excited to have a new friend.
wanna hang out and do something stupid?
Chad, I think we've crossed paths before - I think you've told me your stories of trucking through Philly before - but we've never had a good heart to heart. Maybe we should take a weekend at the local spa and get some facials.....erm....I mean.....smash each other's faces in!
wow. you are awesome.
haha @ philly and the dude who stole my truck's (freightliner) hood emblem.
across the way i see the phillies game park. near me closer though are crack slingin fuckers and ladies of the street.
such an entertaining night. the windshield in a truck is like a movie screen.
i never really chit chatted with you before. now that i know youre a caveman i am kind of excited to have a new friend.
wanna hang out and do something stupid?
Chad, I think we've crossed paths before - I think you've told me your stories of trucking through Philly before - but we've never had a good heart to heart. Maybe we should take a weekend at the local spa and get some facials.....erm....I mean.....smash each other's faces in!
wow. you are awesome.
haha @ philly and the dude who stole my truck's (freightliner) hood emblem.
across the way i see the phillies game park. near me closer though are crack slingin fuckers and ladies of the street.
such an entertaining night. the windshield in a truck is like a movie screen.
That's the exact story. Think it was at the other board.
great to see that so many in this thread are willing to put the victim's life (as well as those of her kids & other family members) in much greater danger all for the sake of their machismo :twisted:
it's really good thing this is just a message board & in reality all that machimo doesn't mean shit
great to see that so many in this thread are willing to put the victim's life (as well as those of her kids & other family members) in much greater danger all for the sake of their machismo :twisted:
it's really good thing this is just a message board & in reality all that machimo doesn't mean shit
You're right. Just as much as your insight as is mine - no offense. And it's not about machismo, even though that seems the PC way to look at it. You don't hurt those close to me without hurting yourself. These are not threats, these are facts.
great to see that so many in this thread are willing to put the victim's life (as well as those of her kids & other family members) in much greater danger all for the sake of their machismo :twisted:
it's really good thing this is just a message board & in reality all that machimo doesn't mean shit
You're right. Just as much as your insight as is mine - no offense. And it's not about machismo, even though that seems the PC way to look at it. You don't hurt those close to me without hurting yourself. These are not threats, these are facts.
please read the whole thread before stating your "facts"
may i ask just how much personal experience you have with domestic violence? are you a DV survior? spent a few yrs a DV volunteer?
no? may i suggest you check your machismo and your facts...thank you
Unfortunately it has been my experience that no amount of pushing will make the person being abused leave the relationship. It has to be her decision.
At one point in my life I lived in a household where my mother had the shit kicked out of her everyday. I called the cops constantly, but because I was under age and my mother wouldn't press charges there wasn't a damn thing they could do.
Thanks goodness my mother finally came to her senses...but she put up with it for 7 years. She always used to say to me "he said he would change". It's a total fucking lie....he didn't change nor did he want to change...he enjoyed beating my mother to pulp!! Not sure exactly what made her change her mind....
Not that i'm saying some men can't change...but my experience is that the cycle of violence is rarely broken!
Amanda
Post edited by Bump30 on
Toronto - 2009
Hartford - 2010
Ed Solo - Hartford - 2011
Toronto X 2, Ottawa & Hamilton - 2011
Ed Solo - Jacksonville - 2012
London, Pittsburgh & Buffalo - 2013
No shows in 2014 :-(
Reading through this it looks to me, some see this situation so logically and without emotion,
except those men who are willing to take action and defend their sisters/the victims.
Sometimes it's best to put logic away and be emotional.
I said before I am amazed 41 years after my sisters experience women are still being beaten
Quite obvious to me that whatever we are doing as a society is not working.
Somehow the message is still in place that it is acceptable, that the abuser can and does
get away with it, that there is no consequence.
Its time for a tough stance and stop being afraid of the abuser..afraid he will do more damage.
He is already doing irreparable damage and fear is what he feeds on.
Don't fear him, stop him.
Violence begets violence...time for the perpetrators to learn this too
when it is their blood running down the shower drain.
Many times in life THE worst decisions are made when our emotions gets the best of us ESPECIALLY when we are talking about moving forward with violence. However, if you feel violence is the answer and will solve this OP's sister's abusive husband's abuse then please go ahead and take your chances.
Peace
I'm pretty sure they are not married..people have assumed that but I believe it is a relationship.
This makes scaring the shit out of him easier yet and perhaps he will move along.
Actually I am greatly guided by emotion and have made some very good decisions based on that.
I move with my heart...my gut
this idea of not punishing a punisher on his level, the only real way he will get it,
is illogical to me .
I think what people are doing is being civil, anti vigilante, the way we all have been taught.
Leave it to the authorities.
But how many times have we seen the abuser eventually kill?
hunt them down if they have had the courage to seek refuge
or just go too far in their normal routine of beating.
and the authorities have done nothing, nothing that can prevent it anyways.
If at the very beginning of this....when the abuser starts...
someone made to so very clear he would die if he did that again,
if he ever laid a hand on that women or child again he would die.
I personally think he would leave. He would find another victim.
For me that would be worth a try to save my loved one.
Well then take out husband and put in relatioship. Even better in just a relationship (I misunderstood her relationship to her boyfriend) to get her away from the situation. Keeping her out and away from that scenerio will give her time to possibly see the light. The light that there's a better way to live life not in fear but some sort of peace. It's best to defuse the situation than to escalate it based on emotion and a gut feeling. However, I could be wrong in your case and you just maybe able to accomplish just what you want in seeking that punishment for the abuser.
I'll just say when we sink to the same level of the abuser with violence to seek some sort of justice and punishment in this relationship are we any different than that very same abuser? All the best to you with the road you have chosen.
Peace
Post edited by g under p on
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
great to see that so many in this thread are willing to put the victim's life (as well as those of her kids & other family members) in much greater danger all for the sake of their machismo :twisted:
it's really good thing this is just a message board & in reality all that machimo doesn't mean shit
You're right. Just as much as your insight as is mine - no offense. And it's not about machismo, even though that seems the PC way to look at it. You don't hurt those close to me without hurting yourself. These are not threats, these are facts.
please go back & read the whole thread...
may i ask just how much personal experience you have with domestic violence? are you a DV survior? spent a few yrs a DV volunteer?
no? may i suggest you check your machismo and your facts...thank you
I'm not bothering reading 8 pages of this nonsense. Just stating my viewpoint. And you don't know anything about me, nor, what I've been through. I can say with full confidence that I have more experience in this subject than you can only have nightmares about. Don't like my viewpoint, fine, but this has nothing to do with trying to be some tough guy. Welp, that's about enough from me.
G under P, why are you so sure you'd be caught? If it was me:
A: The perp would have no idea who had sent the message
B: My sister would be kept totally in the dark to my actions; she wouldn't know either
C: There would be zero evidence tying me to the crimes Were my sister to ever find out, I'd have to hope that if she was capable of tolerating the torture of an abusive relationship, she'd be able to forgive a brother who loved her.
The person I referred to earlier in this thread had zero idea who was after him. He just knew that someone capable of great harm was monitoring his actions and because he felt his life was in danger, he fled the state. I was never arrested, never questioned, and the problem was solved instantly. Obviously different dynamics, but still.
Mostly it sounds like what I'm hearing is just do nothing and see if the situation resolves itself. No thanks.
Again, you can't just confront someone and beat the shit out of them. Tempting, yes, but you get caught that way.
Well eyedclaar in seeking this heroric action in threathening and seeking justice one may want to know this is STILL a crime you would be commiting. IF I were to go forward in committing this violent crime yes he would probably would not be living and the many variables could cause this to go very wrong. IF I'm foolish enough to threathen someone and seek justice in this violent manner I'm one who would NOT try to cover up the crime nor would I try to run from the authorities. I would just sit there and wait for them to take me away. I don't know maybe it's some honor code I once learned a long time ago but that's just my somewhat unusual inner wiring.
As to carrying forth this action in defense of the OP's sister or my own let's take a look at what possibly could go wrong.
What could go wrong....
Abuser gets beaten up.....you could be arrested
Abuser gets beaten up.....he could be killed or in HIS self defense in his mind kill you
Abuser gets beaten up.....violence towards your/his sister will escalates if he survives a beating.
Abuser gets beaten up.....even if you got away with this action what will your/his sister think of you? IF she is defending that husband she will dispise you for the rest of your life.
I believe the key here is the OP's sister IF she STILL has the stance of defending her husband ALL of this violent action is worthless and makes no sense to me. I would want the best interest for his sister and my own and this action doesn't seem to solve it to me.
Now I would NEVER EVER sit by and do nothing nor have I said any such thing in the past. Since she still defends her husband,, I would talk to her and let her know that if this continues in this mariage your life could end. I would give her, show her battered wives shelters for her to escape when she is READY. Again the key is the abused, she has to be the one to say enough. I believe one can't make/force an addict to quit, untill he or she has to want to quit. Take a look at the current President, he has an addiction of smoking and has continued to smoke until HE made the descision to give it up. He made that decision and i believe has given up smoking. We have not walked in her shoes any of us so we have to remember she didn't say I do to you she said I do to that abusive husband.The second she says enough I would be there (you should be there) for whatever it is she needs or wants to get out of this situation. Then give her all the family love she may have been missing living in this abusive marriage.
My last point and question...IF it is a must to go forward with this violent action and crime in seeking justice with threats....is it worth the risks involved when the OP'S sister is still defending her husband? IS it?
Peace
thank you, G under P....
what you have said here and in this thread with your ability to look at the big picture is spot on.
i'd also like to mention (read after SHE decides to get out) that part of the on-going counseling/healing process is learning how to take the steps on how to to break the cycle of violence. she has to learn that she doesn't have to accept abusive men or relationships in her life.
especially with any children involved... obviously if the kids have been seeing their Mom get beaten...then someone else close to the family beats the shit outta Dad or Mom's bf (the abuser) what kind of message does it send to her children? that violence is a way of life & is the answer to all of lifes problems...so it's okay for them to be violent too...then sadly (for them & soceity) they'll grow into becoming violent teens/adults
i was fortunate in that i left while my kids were very little, my oldest was not yet 3...but i still had to learn how to teach them that violence doesn't solve anything overall... that's the lesson they've grown & live by now as adults
Oh yes I failed to bring up the subject of children in this cycle of violence in what they see and feel. What they may think is the norm for a household and what they may carry on when they become adults. It's key to break this cycle of violence, it's good thing I believe that OP's sister I think doesn't have any children with this abuser. Just imagine how complex this would be if children were involved when some outsider any outsider comes in and beats up the Dad. Those children are going to be vastly affected by such violence even though that same abuser is creating his own violence many times right in front of his own children.
In the end I just hope it ALL works out for JGW, his sister and the rest of his family. No one, no family should have to go through anything like this unfortunately it's happening all across America and increasingly with the tough times many are facing.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
You're right. Just as much as your insight as is mine - no offense. And it's not about machismo, even though that seems the PC way to look at it. You don't hurt those close to me without hurting yourself. These are not threats, these are facts.
please go back & read the whole thread...
may i ask just how much personal experience you have with domestic violence? are you a DV survior? spent a few yrs a DV volunteer?
no? may i suggest you check your machismo and your facts...thank you
I'm not bothering reading 8 pages of this nonsense. Just stating my viewpoint. And you don't know anything about me, nor, what I've been through. I can say with full confidence that I have more experience in this subject than you can only have nightmares about. Don't like my viewpoint, fine, but this has nothing to do with trying to be some tough guy. Welp, that's about enough from me.
i'll keep that in mind ...being that i'll never forever the repeated beatings & abuse i took from a man for a few yrs in a relationship...and what it took to get me & my kids out it ...starting over with nothing in a city & state where i didn't know a soul . as well as the 2-1/2 yrs i spent as DV volunteer
DV is very real thing....so alot of us speaking on subject matter wouldn't never consider it "nonsense" as you put it... bet that the OP and his sister do not
In the end I just hope it ALL works out for JGW, his sister and the rest of his family. No one, no family should have to go through anything like this unfortunately it's happening all across America and increasingly with the tough times many are facing.
i'll keep that in mind ...being that i'll never forever the repeated beatings & abuse i took from a man for a few yrs in a relationship...and what it took to get me & my kids out it ...starting over with nothing in a city & state where i didn't know a soul . as well as the 2-1/2 yrs i spent as DV volunteer
DV is very real thing....so alot of us speaking on subject matter wouldn't never consider it "nonsense" as you put it... bet that the OP and his sister do not
I find it pretty ironic (for lack of a better word) that people who claim to be hypothetically acting out of the utmost respect for battered women so easily just disregard & invalidate such women & their experiences & wisdom... much in the same way the abusers do, just without the abuse.
I wonder if all these pro-violence self-appointed heroes don't actually believe their actions could really put their sisters in greater danger, or just don't care. Either way, I think there's a gross misunderstanding of what it means to care about & respect someone.
P.S. Thank you for your invaluable insight. I'm sorry you had to survive so much to become so wise.
i'll keep that in mind ...being that i'll never forever the repeated beatings & abuse i took from a man for a few yrs in a relationship...and what it took to get me & my kids out it ...starting over with nothing in a city & state where i didn't know a soul . as well as the 2-1/2 yrs i spent as DV volunteer
DV is very real thing....so alot of us speaking on subject matter wouldn't never consider it "nonsense" as you put it... bet that the OP and his sister do not
I find it pretty ironic (for lack of a better word) that people who claim to be hypothetically acting out of the utmost respect for battered women so easily just disregard & invalidate such women & their experiences & wisdom... much in the same way the abusers do, just without the abuse.
I wonder if all these pro-violence self-appointed heroes don't actually believe their actions could really put their sisters in greater danger, or just don't care. Either way, I think there's a gross misunderstanding of what it means to care about & respect someone.
P.S. Thank you for your invaluable insight. I'm sorry you had to survive so much to become so wise.
I don't think the people here, who are willing to take action to stop a loved one from being beaten are disregarding nor being disrespectful to those who have been victims and how they chose to handle their situation.
This comes from a very personal place for me and for the men here who know in their hearts they would have to take action, no question.
And this that we feel should also not be disregarded nor should we be disrespected for being honest.
I think perhaps you did not read through many of the posts.
As far as sisters in greater danger... it has been almost my lifetime
and no real change has come to stop the abusers.
It's as though everyone is too afraid to do anything for fear the abuser will abuse more.
We know it will escalate if he is allowed to continue. He must be stopped immediately.
I think the idea here is action at the first strike. It is basic and it is understandable
and that is what is in our hearts.
If my sister had had a brother or an able-bodied father to protect her at the first sign of abuse,
in a way he understood, he would have been sent packing long before, saving her so much agony.
Saving my mother, myself, my sisters, my father not to mention her baby girl, who witnessed the abuse from birth, the agony of her abuse and her subsequent mental break.
I like how us hollyhood macho types are too simple, or naive, to understand the big picture. Let's see, I was physically and mentally abused on an almost daily basis throughout my childhood until cancer finally claimed my father's life. To this day, I am unable to set aside the fear and hate pumping through my veins like acid. I would spare anyone I loved the same torture, by any means required. My mother is heartsick to this day that she never put a stop to it, but she was being beaten and mentally torn apart as well. Sometimes all she talks about is how much she regrets not doing something. Anything. If I can stop someone else, and I know I can, I will. If that is macho, so be it, to me it is a moral obligation.
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Please choose how you feel about the following statement:
Hurting or threatening my sister's abuser could cause him to kill her or hurt her even more.
(a) I don't believe this is true.
(b) I am willing to risk my sister's life & believe it is my right, not hers, to make this decision.
How about you react however you see fit in that situation and afford us the same luxury. Nice black and white survey though.
Is there another survey option that I missed? :?
yes, too true eyed
you left out the option that he crawls into the nearest sewer and bleeds to death...
sent back to hell from which he came allowing the innocent to live free not in fear
Please choose how you feel about the following statement:
Hurting or threatening my sister's abuser could cause him to kill her or hurt her even more.
(a) I don't believe this is true.
(b) I am willing to risk my sister's life & believe it is my right, not hers, to make this decision.
How about you react however you see fit in that situation and afford us the same luxury. Nice black and white survey though.
yes, too true eyed
you left out the option that he crawls into the nearest sewer and bleeds to death...
sent back to hell from which he came allowing the innocent to live free not in fear
No, I didn't. Please note my use of the word COULD. That means it's POSSIBLE.
I want to know whether people don't actually believe this is even a POSSIBLE consequence of the proposed response to the situation. (Option A)
If there is ANY POSSIBILITY WHATSOEVER that this COULD be the outcome of this response, then anyone who chooses to respond in this way is taking that RISK. (Option
Comments
Well the JGW does and his love towards his sister or he would never have posted here....also anyone else who has been in this situation including myself. Your scenerio sounds something from a Hollywood movie and those movies many times are not true to life. We all know the risks and the consequences to those actions....
good luck.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
This makes scaring the shit out of him easier yet and perhaps he will move along.
Actually I am greatly guided by emotion and have made some very good decisions based on that.
I move with my heart...my gut
this idea of not punishing a punisher on his level, the only real way he will get it,
is illogical to me .
I think what people are doing is being civil, anti vigilante, the way we all have been taught.
Leave it to the authorities.
But how many times have we seen the abuser eventually kill?
hunt them down if they have had the courage to seek refuge
or just go too far in their normal routine of beating.
and the authorities have done nothing, nothing that can prevent it anyways.
If at the very beginning of this....when the abuser starts...
someone made to so very clear he would die if he did that again,
if he ever laid a hand on that women or child again he would die.
I personally think he would leave. He would find another victim.
For me that would be worth a try to save my loved one.
Cops will treat you like a king eh ? ...and the judge comparing track records will matter ? man, i can tell you're not from Philadelphia. I respect your views and appreciate your feedback but thats not how it is in this City.
i contacted my sis through FB today and was happy to hear that she had extended her stay in Texas until the 2nd week in march. I'm not sure if shes talking to her bf or not but at least this gives my family some time to figure things out.
thank you, G under P....
what you have said here and in this thread with your ability to look at the big picture is spot on.
i'd also like to mention (read after SHE decides to get out) that part of the on-going counseling/healing process is learning how to take the steps on how to to break the cycle of violence. she has to learn that she doesn't have to accept abusive men or relationships in her life.
especially with any children involved... obviously if the kids have been seeing their Mom get beaten...then someone else close to the family beats the shit outta Dad or Mom's bf (the abuser) what kind of message does it send to her children? that violence is a way of life & is the answer to all of lifes problems...so it's okay for them to be violent too...then sadly (for them & soceity) they'll grow into becoming violent teens/adults
i was fortunate in that i left while my kids were very little, my oldest was not yet 3...but i still had to learn how to teach them that violence doesn't solve anything overall... that's the lesson they've grown & live by now as adults
angels share laughter
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he must be talking about mayberry rfd....where the town drunk otis was treated like a king :P :lolno:
it's not just philadelphia.... that not how it is anywhere anymore.
it's good to hear that she's decided to extend her stay...sounds like some steps in the right direct. hopefully that she continues and decides not to ever go back to him.
i wish her the best of luck...along with you & the rest of her loved ones
angels share laughter
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for that to work out how many of those pesky outside witnesses are you gonna have to take out with him?
with all of this hollywood machismo...perhaps you & all those in this thread in favor of giving the abuser an ass kickin thus making him disappear forever... why not just call in dexter and be done with it?
just sayin :P
angels share laughter
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possession of pot marijuana... nothing.
happened more than once.
possession of alcohol under legal age... nothing.
happened more than once.
drunk driving... nothing.
happened more than once. (a few times was on a dirt bike out running the police in the dark, no headlight or taillight or brakes and drunk as shit with a drunk passenger. until... until i gave up)
i got a no motorcycle license ticket, no headlight or brakelight ticket.
139 times... @ least, the law caught me and my brothers riding our motorcycles on public roadways.
how does a 12 yr old boy have a motorcycle license and a 360 honda with a shotgun strapped to the back of it?
easy. no motorcycle license and im going hunting. no hunting license either.
"take the motorcycles home. i don't know how many times i gotta tell you kids, keep them in the fields"
fighting... sometimes trouble sometimes nothing. my lawyer is friends with the judge. they duck hunt together and grew up together. both about 60 yrs old. small town iowa. do you honestly believe these two respectable men who serve the law didn't fuck around raising a ruckus when they were young?
forget about it.
the list goes on and on and on.
i am one of the luckiest people walking the planet.
plus all the other crap i been through.
i am amazed i am alive.
please do not shoot my statements down as hollywood movie script material.
it is my life and what i know and what works (or doesn't) for me.
i thank my grandfather and my father. mom's family too.
no doubt about it, i am a ding-dong.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
i never really chit chatted with you before. now that i know youre a caveman i am kind of excited to have a new friend.
wanna hang out and do something stupid?
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Chad, I think we've crossed paths before - I think you've told me your stories of trucking through Philly before - but we've never had a good heart to heart. Maybe we should take a weekend at the local spa and get some facials.....erm....I mean.....smash each other's faces in!
haha @ philly and the dude who stole my truck's (freightliner) hood emblem.
across the way i see the phillies game park. near me closer though are crack slingin fuckers and ladies of the street.
such an entertaining night. the windshield in a truck is like a movie screen.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
That's the exact story. Think it was at the other board.
it's really good thing this is just a message board & in reality all that machimo doesn't mean shit
angels share laughter
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
You're right. Just as much as your insight as is mine - no offense. And it's not about machismo, even though that seems the PC way to look at it. You don't hurt those close to me without hurting yourself. These are not threats, these are facts.
please read the whole thread before stating your "facts"
may i ask just how much personal experience you have with domestic violence? are you a DV survior? spent a few yrs a DV volunteer?
no? may i suggest you check your machismo and your facts...thank you
angels share laughter
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Unfortunately it has been my experience that no amount of pushing will make the person being abused leave the relationship. It has to be her decision.
At one point in my life I lived in a household where my mother had the shit kicked out of her everyday. I called the cops constantly, but because I was under age and my mother wouldn't press charges there wasn't a damn thing they could do.
Thanks goodness my mother finally came to her senses...but she put up with it for 7 years. She always used to say to me "he said he would change". It's a total fucking lie....he didn't change nor did he want to change...he enjoyed beating my mother to pulp!! Not sure exactly what made her change her mind....
Not that i'm saying some men can't change...but my experience is that the cycle of violence is rarely broken!
Amanda
Hartford - 2010
Ed Solo - Hartford - 2011
Toronto X 2, Ottawa & Hamilton - 2011
Ed Solo - Jacksonville - 2012
London, Pittsburgh & Buffalo - 2013
No shows in 2014 :-(
Well then take out husband and put in relatioship. Even better in just a relationship (I misunderstood her relationship to her boyfriend) to get her away from the situation. Keeping her out and away from that scenerio will give her time to possibly see the light. The light that there's a better way to live life not in fear but some sort of peace. It's best to defuse the situation than to escalate it based on emotion and a gut feeling. However, I could be wrong in your case and you just maybe able to accomplish just what you want in seeking that punishment for the abuser.
I'll just say when we sink to the same level of the abuser with violence to seek some sort of justice and punishment in this relationship are we any different than that very same abuser? All the best to you with the road you have chosen.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
I'm not bothering reading 8 pages of this nonsense. Just stating my viewpoint. And you don't know anything about me, nor, what I've been through. I can say with full confidence that I have more experience in this subject than you can only have nightmares about. Don't like my viewpoint, fine, but this has nothing to do with trying to be some tough guy. Welp, that's about enough from me.
Oh yes I failed to bring up the subject of children in this cycle of violence in what they see and feel. What they may think is the norm for a household and what they may carry on when they become adults. It's key to break this cycle of violence, it's good thing I believe that OP's sister I think doesn't have any children with this abuser. Just imagine how complex this would be if children were involved when some outsider any outsider comes in and beats up the Dad. Those children are going to be vastly affected by such violence even though that same abuser is creating his own violence many times right in front of his own children.
In the end I just hope it ALL works out for JGW, his sister and the rest of his family. No one, no family should have to go through anything like this unfortunately it's happening all across America and increasingly with the tough times many are facing.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
i'll keep that in mind ...being that i'll never forever the repeated beatings & abuse i took from a man for a few yrs in a relationship...and what it took to get me & my kids out it ...starting over with nothing in a city & state where i didn't know a soul . as well as the 2-1/2 yrs i spent as DV volunteer
DV is very real thing....so alot of us speaking on subject matter wouldn't never consider it "nonsense" as you put it... bet that the OP and his sister do not
angels share laughter
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
indeed
angels share laughter
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I find it pretty ironic (for lack of a better word) that people who claim to be hypothetically acting out of the utmost respect for battered women so easily just disregard & invalidate such women & their experiences & wisdom... much in the same way the abusers do, just without the abuse.
I wonder if all these pro-violence self-appointed heroes don't actually believe their actions could really put their sisters in greater danger, or just don't care. Either way, I think there's a gross misunderstanding of what it means to care about & respect someone.
P.S. Thank you for your invaluable insight. I'm sorry you had to survive so much to become so wise.
This comes from a very personal place for me and for the men here who know in their hearts they would have to take action, no question.
And this that we feel should also not be disregarded nor should we be disrespected for being honest.
I think perhaps you did not read through many of the posts.
As far as sisters in greater danger... it has been almost my lifetime
and no real change has come to stop the abusers.
It's as though everyone is too afraid to do anything for fear the abuser will abuse more.
We know it will escalate if he is allowed to continue. He must be stopped immediately.
I think the idea here is action at the first strike. It is basic and it is understandable
and that is what is in our hearts.
If my sister had had a brother or an able-bodied father to protect her at the first sign of abuse,
in a way he understood, he would have been sent packing long before, saving her so much agony.
Saving my mother, myself, my sisters, my father not to mention her baby girl, who witnessed the abuse from birth, the agony of her abuse and her subsequent mental break.
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Please choose how you feel about the following statement:
Hurting or threatening my sister's abuser could cause him to kill her or hurt her even more.
(a) I don't believe this is true.
(b) I am willing to risk my sister's life & believe it is my right, not hers, to make this decision.
How about you react however you see fit in that situation and afford us the same luxury. Nice black and white survey though.
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696
http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
Is there another survey option that I missed? :?
you left out the option that he crawls into the nearest sewer and bleeds to death...
sent back to hell from which he came allowing the innocent to live free not in fear
No, I didn't. Please note my use of the word COULD. That means it's POSSIBLE.
I want to know whether people don't actually believe this is even a POSSIBLE consequence of the proposed response to the situation. (Option A)
If there is ANY POSSIBILITY WHATSOEVER that this COULD be the outcome of this response, then anyone who chooses to respond in this way is taking that RISK. (Option