The wedding thread

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  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    :mrgreen: you know I ain't no shoe person... but I'm sure I'll learn... what with you and Sian to teach me and all :D :
    Damn girl... s h o e s.... always shoes (or boots). Shoes of every colour, style, etc. You MUST learn to love shoes :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Right so, I have a huge dilemma...

    I have some friends who, shall we say, are not as close as they were but I have known them for many years. Our relationship is nowhere near what it used to be and one of said friends is ignoring me completely... Our mutual friends will be invited all day and I know they also expect to come all day to the wedding.
    This wouldn't be a problem (there's always people you don't like at your own wedding) had they not treated my MoH with contempt without knowing her and spoken very freely to mutual friends about their dislike of my future husband... Obviously, this is a HUGE issue for me.
    So down to the dilemma itself... do we, for old times sake, invite them all day with the risk of them being miserable and it putting a dampner on the day for us or do we just invite them for the evening and risk a huge row and them not turning up at all... or worse still, alienating our other friends who we do want to come all day?
    Is it bad that it took me ages to figure out what MoH is? :mrgreen:


    Sian, I've had the same dilemma with my mother... edging towards not inviting her :? . I'm more worried about what other people would think... but people who know her are begging me not to invite her... and people who don't know her don't seem all that bothered... and don't seem to be judging me on it. But still... it's a tough one :oops: . Make your decision both ways and see which one feels the best. I decided to invite her, said it to other people and realised they'd ALL be incredibly uncomfortable... so am now deciding the other way... and I seem to be fine with it. I reckon I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't though. There is no easy answer.

    Yes, unfortunately there isn't. You've mentioned about your mum before and i'm sorry you feel that inviting her isn't the solution. At the end of the day though, it's YOUR wedding and you know the relationship you have with her more than anyone else so it is totally your call.

    Thing is, more than just myself will feel awkward if these people come to our wedding. Most people who are going to the wedding won't know these people from Adam and I KNOW that they only want to come to the wedding to be seen and for the party. They don't give two shits about me or Dave but they'll raise bloody hell if they don't have an invite and at the end of the day, I don't want to upset mutual friends who's opinions I DO care about...

    At the moment I've pretty much decided to invite them for the evening only but if our relationship improves then they'll come all day when the invites go out but to be honest, I know that Dave, my MoH and various other people (including myself to a degree) will be happier if they're not there :( I just feel terrible though because I do love them and we used to be such good friends :(
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    edited August 2010
    dottles wrote:
    Digital Twilight wrote:
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Right so, I have a huge dilemma...

    I have some friends who, shall we say, are not as close as they were but I have known them for many years. Our relationship is nowhere near what it used to be and one of said friends is ignoring me completely... Our mutual friends will be invited all day and I know they also expect to come all day to the wedding.
    This wouldn't be a problem (there's always people you don't like at your own wedding) had they not treated my MoH with contempt without knowing her and spoken very freely to mutual friends about their dislike of my future husband... Obviously, this is a HUGE issue for me.
    So down to the dilemma itself... do we, for old times sake, invite them all day with the risk of them being miserable and it putting a dampner on the day for us or do we just invite them for the evening and risk a huge row and them not turning up at all... or worse still, alienating our other friends who we do want to come all day?

    If they are speaking freely about their dislike for Dave and your MoH I would leave them out for the wedding personally but it really comes down to what you and Dave want, not worrying about what others will think and feel.
    I concur with this Dave... you don't want any ill feeling, but this is your day. Friendships change, the nature of friendships change, and you need the support and love of all those attending, not those that make you feel uncomfortable. You have limited numbers, everyone should understand that...

    I concur with Dave too. I wouldn't invite anyone who openly dislikes and disses the person I'm going to live the rest of my life with. Think... will you be wanting to socialise with these people before or after the wedding? No? So why bother during? I'm sure your 'real' friends in common will know and understand the situation. Anyway, they won't care because you will have invited them for a grand ol' day and they will be happy! :mrgreen:

    Helen, your case is so much more difficult. I don't know the extent of the problems with your mum, but a mum is a mum. Then again, they can be such bitches and dragons. Is this a good time to reconcile or not?
    Post edited by redrock on
  • eMMI
    eMMI Posts: 6,262
    redrock wrote:
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    :mrgreen: you know I ain't no shoe person... but I'm sure I'll learn... what with you and Sian to teach me and all :D :
    Damn girl... s h o e s.... always shoes (or boots). Shoes of every colour, style, etc. You MUST learn to love shoes :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:

    Oooohh.. Shoes. <3

    *goes back to just lurking the thread*
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    redrock wrote:
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    :mrgreen: you know I ain't no shoe person... but I'm sure I'll learn... what with you and Sian to teach me and all :D :
    Damn girl... s h o e s.... always shoes (or boots). Shoes of every colour, style, etc. You MUST learn to love shoes :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
    I'm learning :mrgreen: I do believe a days shoe shopping in London may be in order though! Thanks to Chime, I may have just found a very very strong maybe (i.e they're lovely and make me a little gushy :mrgreen: )

    Yep, we actually did consider 1st April at first (well the 2nd was our FIRST choice) but I can't remember why we didn't go for it now :oops:
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    redrock wrote:
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    :mrgreen: you know I ain't no shoe person... but I'm sure I'll learn... what with you and Sian to teach me and all :D :
    Damn girl... s h o e s.... always shoes (or boots). Shoes of every colour, style, etc. You MUST learn to love shoes :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
    I'm learning :mrgreen: I do believe a days shoe shopping in London may be in order though! Thanks to Chime, I may have just found a very very strong maybe (i.e they're lovely and make me a little gushy :mrgreen: )

    Yep, we actually did consider 1st April at first (well the 2nd was our FIRST choice) but I can't remember why we didn't go for it now :oops:

    Maybe because Simon knew you could just say "April fools!" and run off :lol:;)

    Thanks for all your input people. It has clarified how I already felt but I guess I just needed confirmation :)
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

    Yes, unfortunately there isn't. You've mentioned about your mum before and i'm sorry you feel that inviting her isn't the solution. At the end of the day though, it's YOUR wedding and you know the relationship you have with her more than anyone else so it is totally your call.

    Thing is, more than just myself will feel awkward if these people come to our wedding. Most people who are going to the wedding won't know these people from Adam and I KNOW that they only want to come to the wedding to be seen and for the party. They don't give two shits about me or Dave but they'll raise bloody hell if they don't have an invite and at the end of the day, I don't want to upset mutual friends who's opinions I DO care about...

    At the moment I've pretty much decided to invite them for the evening only but if our relationship improves then they'll come all day when the invites go out but to be honest, I know that Dave, my MoH and various other people (including myself to a degree) will be happier if they're not there :( I just feel terrible though because I do love them and we used to be such good friends :(
    Well the only reason I was gonna invite her was so that I can't have any regrets... but if I invite her I probably will :mrgreen: . It wasn't that I want her there... but I understand that down the line I may look back and wish she was there. If I thought she could come and behave, I'd invite her no problem... but I don't think she would... and I wanna enjoy my wedding... not worry about who she's talking to!

    If you don't invite them, you have to be willing to write them out of your life :oops: I think maybe you are though?
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

    Maybe because Simon knew you could just say "April fools!" and run off :lol:;)

    Thanks for all your input people. It has clarified how I already felt but I guess I just needed confirmation :)
    Did people give the RIGHT answer then? :D

    Lol, nah, he knows he's got me. He probably would though :mrgreen:
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    Well the only reason I was gonna invite her was so that I can't have any regrets... but if I invite her I probably will :mrgreen: . It wasn't that I want her there... but I understand that down the line I may look back and wish she was there. If I thought she could come and behave, I'd invite her no problem... but I don't think she would... and I wanna enjoy my wedding... not worry about who she's talking to!

    If you don't invite them, you have to be willing to write them out of your life :oops: I think maybe you are though?

    Ohhh I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. My mum can be a pain in the arse but I've never felt like that. I'm afraid I can't even begin to give you advice on it. I know you though and I know you wouldn't take a decision like that lightly... You need to do whatever makes you comfortable. You know I'm here if you need to rant about stuff like this though.

    I think that is the case with my dilemma... I think they would draw a line under the friendship if they don't get a day invite but really, it'll be me drawing the line... maybe you're right, maybe I am ready to do that. It's sad but it may be true... I can only hope that our relationship does improve and i'll feel comfortable enough that I want them there all day. I genuinely do hope that but I can't see it happening :(

    Can I just say though, Dave has been brilliant in all of this. He has said that he will accept if I want them there all day and won't make a deal out of it. He's said that it's entirely my decision and he supports me in whatever I do... If only the fickle people could see how awesome he is :(
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    If only the fickle people could see how awesome he is :(
    He would be even more awesome if he would get you a kittygirl ;)
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    redrock wrote:
    Helen, your case is so much more difficult. I don't know the extent of the problems with your mum, but a mum is a mum. Then again, they can be such bitches and dragons. Is this a good time to reconcile or not?
    I considered that... but no, I think the wedding is probably the worst time to try. My sister has tried before with things like christenings and that, and it's always ended in disaster. Also, her presence would make everyone uncomfortable... aunts and uncles and stuff. But her not being there will probably raise questions from other people. Really, there is no way to win. It was a long time ago what happened... and I've calmed down a lot about it. BUT calmed down to the point where I don't care at all... she's just someone who's tried to mess up a lot of lives... and not someone I would ever have a relationship with... so I guess to have her at the wedding would probably be just for show on my part.

    I guess it's a whole other thread :D but one I don't really wanna get into.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    redrock wrote:
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    If only the fickle people could see how awesome he is :(
    He would be even more awesome if he would get you a kittygirl ;)

    I'd ask for one as a wedding gift but our landlady won't allow us to have another :(
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

    Ohhh I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. My mum can be a pain in the arse but I've never felt like that. I'm afraid I can't even begin to give you advice on it. I know you though and I know you wouldn't take a decision like that lightly... You need to do whatever makes you comfortable. You know I'm here if you need to rant about stuff like this though.

    I think that is the case with my dilemma... I think they would draw a line under the friendship if they don't get a day invite but really, it'll be me drawing the line... maybe you're right, maybe I am ready to do that. It's sad but it may be true... I can only hope that our relationship does improve and i'll feel comfortable enough that I want them there all day. I genuinely do hope that but I can't see it happening :(

    Can I just say though, Dave has been brilliant in all of this. He has said that he will accept if I want them there all day and won't make a deal out of it. He's said that it's entirely my decision and he supports me in whatever I do... If only the fickle people could see how awesome he is :(


    Thank you :oops: maybe closer to the time it might be an issue... but right now I'm cool about it.

    At least you've got another few months before you've to sort out your final list and do your invitations... so maybe spend a bit of time with them and see how you're feeling? If you're willing to draw a line under it, maybe have a chat... since there's nothing to lose?
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    redrock wrote:
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    If only the fickle people could see how awesome he is :(
    He would be even more awesome if he would get you a kittygirl ;)

    I'd ask for one as a wedding gift but our landlady won't allow us to have another :(
    Ooohh ask for a house then :D
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    redrock wrote:
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    If only the fickle people could see how awesome he is :(
    He would be even more awesome if he would get you a kittygirl ;)

    I'd ask for one as a wedding gift but our landlady won't allow us to have another :(
    She must have been thinking you are traumatizing your cats, making them wear jackets and doesn't want to be part of anymore animal cruelty! ;):mrgreen:
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    redrock wrote:
    He would be even more awesome if he would get you a kittygirl ;)

    I'd ask for one as a wedding gift but our landlady won't allow us to have another :(
    Ooohh ask for a house then :D

    We're already asking for a honeymoon! We can't take the piss! :lol:
    redrock wrote:
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    redrock wrote:
    He would be even more awesome if he would get you a kittygirl ;)

    I'd ask for one as a wedding gift but our landlady won't allow us to have another :(
    She must have been thinking you are traumatizing your cats, making them wear jackets and doesn't want to be part of anymore animal cruelty! ;):mrgreen:

    Enough of that! I told you why he has to wear the jacket! :evil:

    It just kinda helps that it's funny, he goes all schmoozy in it and looks cute :oops: ;):mrgreen::lol:
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

    We're already asking for a honeymoon! We can't take the piss! :lol:



    Oh it's worth a try! :D
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    It just kinda helps that it's funny, he goes all schmoozy in it and looks cute :oops: ;):mrgreen::lol:
    He's just trendy.
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    right... can somebody tell me how to find out where to get these shoes:

    http://www.weddingsdesigns.com/page/40/

    They pop up everywhere on a google image search... but none of the sites tell you what they are.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    Those are pretty!

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