The wedding thread

JOEJOEJOE · August 2010

We started planning our November wedding in January...I am glad we started early.

We made our arrangements in the following order:

I proposed in December
She accepted straight away!
Found venue in January
Found photographer in February
Wedding Gown ordered in February
Got our DJ in March
Got wedding insurance in March
Arranged for flowers in April
Sent out save-the-dates in May
Ordered Cupcakes/Cake Topper in July (after very carefully tasting many samples!)
Found Rabbi in August
Did our gift registries in August
Invitation design still in process....artist going very slow, but it will be worth it
Did our engagement photos in August

Still Pending:

Seating arrangements
Wedding favors - ( we may give out football (soccer) jerseys that have a crest with "Diane & Joe United"

Damn, thats a lot of stuff!

We are planning/paying for the wedding on our own, so luckily, no family members have any influence!

It was difficult to make the guest list, but we got it done.

There will always be people who are surprised by their inclusion or exclusion.....can't please everyone, I reckon!

markymark550 · August 2010

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

We started planning our November wedding in January...I am glad we started early.

We made our arrangements in the following order:

I proposed in December
She accepted straight away!
Found venue in January
Found photographer in February
Wedding Gown ordered in February
Got our DJ in March
Got wedding insurance in March
Arranged for flowers in April
Sent out save-the-dates in May
Ordered Cupcakes/Cake Topper in July (after very carefully tasting many samples!)
Found Rabbi in August
Did our gift registries in August
Invitation design still in process....artist going very slow, but it will be worth it
Did our engagement photos in August

Still Pending:

Seating arrangements
Wedding favors - ( we may give out football (soccer) jerseys that have a crest with "Diane & Joe United"

Damn, thats a lot of stuff!

We are planning/paying for the wedding on our own, so luckily, no family members have any influence!

It was difficult to make the guest list, but we got it done.

There will always be people who are surprised by their inclusion or exclusion.....can't please everyone, I reckon!

Yeah, I had forgotten exactly how much stuff you have to take care of....it is alot. Doing things early is definitely the way to go. We were engaged for around 11 months and got everything done with about 3 to go, so at the end it was mainly my wife making sure the little details were taken care of.

You missed one important thing though....you've still got to plan for the honeymoon, the best part of the whole wedding process

markymark550 · August 2010

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

markymark550 wrote:

congrats to everyone getting married!

the toughest part for me and my wife was deciding on how many people to invite and who to actually invite.....other than that everything went pretty smoothly

That's been a bit of a headache for us too... to the point that we've decided to skip the three course meal in favour of paying for more guests to attend... we're upto 150 at the minute :roll:

the worst part of that is feeling obligated to invite certain people so that your parents or future in-laws don't offend someone because of not inviting them....that drove me crazy

haffajappa · August 2010

Heineken Helen wrote:

redrock wrote:

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

... the dress...

Already :shock: Saving up for those perfect shoes too? Or are they just too expensive?

Just make lists Helen. Sian will help you with that!

Oh I have lists... fucking millions of em and I have all the spreadsheets and all the budgets and all the timelines done out... but still... I like to do things that I know HOW to do... but what the fuck do I know about flowers? Or about hiring a band? Or about table centrepieces and chair sashes and all that shite? :shock:

Ask Eddie if the band does weddings.

I always watch wedding shows on T.V. though I don't know why since I'm no where close to being married.
I think I like the creative aspects of it... And watching people mindlessly blow their money on a big party. Like, 50, 60 grand!

Sian-of-the-dead · August 2010

markymark550 wrote:

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

markymark550 wrote:

congrats to everyone getting married!

the toughest part for me and my wife was deciding on how many people to invite and who to actually invite.....other than that everything went pretty smoothly

That's been a bit of a headache for us too... to the point that we've decided to skip the three course meal in favour of paying for more guests to attend... we're upto 150 at the minute :roll:

the worst part of that is feeling obligated to invite certain people so that your parents or future in-laws don't offend someone because of not inviting them....that drove me crazy

We're not doing that. I refuse to invite people i've never met or people that others want to invite. It's our wedding at the end of the day and I will not be pressurised into inviting family I don't know out of obligation. Our guest list is so big because we have lots of friends :oops:

Heineken Helen · August 2010

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Oh god don't say that!!! I HATE for something to go wrong on the day... 15 months of planning for something to fuck up?! That'd be my worst nightmare :oops:

We had the final contract through this morning via email... we go and sign tomorrow and hand over £1000... i'm kinda scared and excited all at once

Eurgh, my Mum came over last night. I love her dearly but she's got to learn to understand that this is OUR wedding and that both myself and Dave are VERY choosey and set on what we want/don't want. I think she wants me to have this grand wedding where MoTB is also centre of attention and gets to make all the decisions... I tell you, it's gonna be a huge headache and battle ahead :(

Oh no, I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that.. everyone else seems to have these problems getting married. Our parents our staying out of it too much

considering they're contributing quite a bit I actually WANT their input but they don't wanna push anything on to us. They're really being amazing when I hear what other people are going through. Now my SISTER on the other hand :shock: I might just make her maid of honour and keep her out of a bridesmaid dress... or demote her altogether

I think you and I will maybe have completely different weddings Sian. Honestly, when it comes to holidays and stuff, I kinda like when things go wrong and I go with it cos it always ends up great in the end and I find these things funny. It's why I got a bit worried when you said how much planning you're doing into details and stuff... cos if you put so much effort in, it's gonna be worse IF something goes wrong (which it won't for you). Ok maybe it's just my excuse for being lazy lol.

Heineken Helen · August 2010

markymark550 wrote:

congrats to everyone getting married!

the toughest part for me and my wife was deciding on how many people to invite and who to actually invite.....other than that everything went pretty smoothly

That's a BIG BIG problem for us too :oops: . We're only having 80 at the meal and then inviting everyone after, but we can't afford to feed those coming to the evening bit :shock: . I probably shoulda done what Sian did

.

Heineken Helen · August 2010

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

We started planning our November wedding in January...I am glad we started early.

We made our arrangements in the following order:

I proposed in December
She accepted straight away!
Found venue in January
Found photographer in February
Wedding Gown ordered in February
Got our DJ in March
Got wedding insurance in March
Arranged for flowers in April
Sent out save-the-dates in May
Ordered Cupcakes/Cake Topper in July (after very carefully tasting many samples!)
Found Rabbi in August
Did our gift registries in August
Invitation design still in process....artist going very slow, but it will be worth it
Did our engagement photos in August

Still Pending:

Seating arrangements
Wedding favors - ( we may give out football (soccer) jerseys that have a crest with "Diane & Joe United"

Damn, thats a lot of stuff!

We are planning/paying for the wedding on our own, so luckily, no family members have any influence!

It was difficult to make the guest list, but we got it done.

There will always be people who are surprised by their inclusion or exclusion.....can't please everyone, I reckon!

woah, you sound super organised. Luckily our deal with the venue includes the favours and a lot of stuff like table centrepieces and chair covers and sashes, etc. They seem to have most things covered. Otherwise our budget wouldn't have stretched for these things.

Heineken Helen · August 2010

markymark550 wrote:

Yeah, I had forgotten exactly how much stuff you have to take care of....it is alot. Doing things early is definitely the way to go. We were engaged for around 11 months and got everything done with about 3 to go, so at the end it was mainly my wife making sure the little details were taken care of.

You missed one important thing though....you've still got to plan for the honeymoon, the best part of the whole wedding process

Oh my god, those 3 months must have been hell for her :shock:

I can't imagine doing it in 3... that's why I'm panicking now so I don't have to panic then.

Ooohh the honeymoon's HIS responsibility (but my choice

). While I'm saving the extra for the wedding, he's saving for the honeymoon and we're keeping them separate. Not gonna book or decide anything for a few months though... maybe the January sales.

Heineken Helen · August 2010

haffajappa wrote:

Ask Eddie if the band does weddings.

I always watch wedding shows on T.V. though I don't know why since I'm no where close to being married.
I think I like the creative aspects of it... And watching people mindlessly blow their money on a big party. Like, 50, 60 grand!

we NEED to be sorting the band out soon :oops: I never understand why people spend that much money. I can see how easy it would BE to do it.

He's started the invitations this morning

Heineken Helen · August 2010

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

markymark550 wrote:

the worst part of that is feeling obligated to invite certain people so that your parents or future in-laws don't offend someone because of not inviting them....that drove me crazy

We're not doing that. I refuse to invite people i've never met or people that others want to invite. It's our wedding at the end of the day and I will not be pressurised into inviting family I don't know out of obligation. Our guest list is so big because we have lots of friends :oops:

I've had to FORCE them to invite some people... cos they're all too bloody polite to ask... or scared lol... not sure which. But yeh, if they'd been pushy, it probably woulda been a no. But I do like the idea of having a certain number of 'family friends' although again, they're only close ones considering our list is so small. We still haven't done the final list though cos we keep chickening out :oops:

chime · August 2010

Heineken Helen wrote:

oneymoon fund . Instead of a hen party, just get everyone to contribute towards the shoes?

I wish I knew how I wanted everything to look the way you do... but I haven't a clue and am depending on the knowledge of the people who do these things every day. It will probably LOOK quite generic but the people there will make it mine! I'd still like it to LOOK like mine though but I've no idea what mine would look like... and now I'm rambling!

One thing that can be yours ... name the tables rather than number them ... go with song titles or bands.

Had a friend do bands and put a cd case with an album cover from that band on the table to mark it ... another did song names and had 7" with the song titles on as table markers ... or you could do what I read in paper and do what a couple did and do film reenactment photos for your table markers

Heineken Helen · August 2010

chime wrote:

Heineken Helen wrote:

oneymoon fund . Instead of a hen party, just get everyone to contribute towards the shoes?

I wish I knew how I wanted everything to look the way you do... but I haven't a clue and am depending on the knowledge of the people who do these things every day. It will probably LOOK quite generic but the people there will make it mine! I'd still like it to LOOK like mine though but I've no idea what mine would look like... and now I'm rambling!

One thing that can be yours ... name the tables rather than number them ... go with song titles or bands.

Had a friend do bands and put a cd case with an album cover from that band on the table to mark it ... another did song names and had 7" with the song titles on as table markers ... or you could do what I read in paper and do what a couple did and do film reenactment photos for your table markers

Yeh see I know all these things are good ideas but thing is, I really don't care all that much whether the tables are numbered or whether they're named :oops: . Do people really care? If they were numbered I'd number them randomly and with stupid numbers. At one point I did consider having each table a different colour and do the scheme that way. I'm just not one for details though and I'm not arty enough anyway and if I start varying from the norm, things will just end up looking silly :oops:

Heatherj43 · August 2010

You have to know if the venue provides the catering and booze, then know how many are coming!

Timing the church and the venue appropriately!! You don't want people having to wait two hours between the wedding and the party!!

Invitiations!! And if you are getting anything else printed, like napkins, matches. Don' t send out invites too early...people forget. I think 5 weeks is protocol.. RSVP's are a must!!! And don't forget thank you notes and stamps for them.

Stamps for thank you's.

Photographer, and/or videographer.

Gifts for bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Picking bridesmaids and groomsmen.

A church. (see above about timing!!)

Marriage License. Here in states has to be 3 days in advance. And some churches require a month of classes. So, check what the law wants and what your church wants.

Ring(s).

Music...band or DJ or both. Wedding Song, and are you going to do daddy daughter dance, etc.

Flowers. For the church, corsages for mothers, the bouquet and the smaller bouquet you actually throw, and the bridemaid's flowers.

Color theme. If hall does it, great...if not...you have to get all the decorations together yourself to match YOUR colors.

Tuxedo. And the groomsmens. Make sure they try them on after geting fitted...then again early the day of wedding, cuz those places are notorious to give the wrong size no matter how many fittings you have!!! I have seen lots of grooms stuck wearing pants two sizes too big!!!

Hair/Make-up ideas and person to do it.

Cars/ limos or not??

Cake and cake knife.

Flower girl and ring bearer. Ring Pillow.

Decide who is going to keep the money gift envelopes for that night. VERY IMPORTANT!!

Blue garter.

Table arrangements.

Nerve pills! LOL!

Oh my, there is more, but that is where my brain just stopped.

You don't have to number tables, most venues do that. Its really for them, not you.

catefrances · August 2010

Heatherj43 wrote:

You have to know if the venue provides the catering and booze, then know how many are coming!

Invitiations!! And if you are getting anything else printed, like napkins, matches. Don' t send out invites too early...people forget. I think 5 weeks is protocol.. RSVP's are a must!!! And don't forget thank you notes and stamps for them.

Stamps.

Photographer, and/or videographer.

Gifts for bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Picking bridesmaids and groomsmen.

A church.

License.

Ring(s).

Music...band or DJ or both. Wedding Song, and are you going to do daddy daughter dance, etc.

Flowers.

Color theme.

Tuxedo.

Hair/Make-up ideas and person to do it.

Cars/ like limos or not.

Cake and cake knife.

Flower girl and ring bearer. Ring Pillow.

Table arrangements.

Oh my, there is more, but that is where my brain just stopped.

You don't have to number tables, most venues do that. Its really for them, not you.

makes elopement look very very attractive.

Heatherj43 · August 2010

catefrances wrote:

Heatherj43 wrote:

You have to know if the venue provides the catering and booze, then know how many are coming!

Invitiations!! And if you are getting anything else printed, like napkins, matches. Don' t send out invites too early...people forget. I think 5 weeks is protocol.. RSVP's are a must!!! And don't forget thank you notes and stamps for them.

Stamps.

Photographer, and/or videographer.

Gifts for bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Picking bridesmaids and groomsmen.

A church.

License.

Ring(s).

Music...band or DJ or both. Wedding Song, and are you going to do daddy daughter dance, etc.

Flowers.

Color theme.

Tuxedo.

Hair/Make-up ideas and person to do it.

Cars/ like limos or not.

Cake and cake knife.

Flower girl and ring bearer. Ring Pillow.

Table arrangements.

Oh my, there is more, but that is where my brain just stopped.

You don't have to number tables, most venues do that. Its really for them, not you.

makes elopement look very very attractive.

I know, but its not really that bad, like the place you go for printing will tell you the rest. Lots of places will guide you as you go. I was a wedding planner once upon a time, so I think of this stuff, but as said, most places will guide as she goes and she won't have to worry about every little nipicking thing ( or at least I hope). And yes, I'd rather elope!!!

redrock · August 2010

Heatherj43 wrote:

I think 5 weeks is protocol...

I seem to remember that, according to a wedding magazine given to us when we announced our wedding (more than 20 years ago!), at 6 weeks one was to chase those that hadn't yet responded to the invitation. It sticks to my mind because we only gave people 6 weeks notice all together and we were having a laugh at the timetable!

All of these things really depend on the time of the year you get married, how formal your wedding is, where your guests live (local, in the country, all over the place...).

I say, once you have the venue and the person who will marry you, the rest falls into place. You can make it as easy or as complicated as you want.

redrock · August 2010

Heineken Helen wrote:

......but the people there will make it mine! .!

Exactly!

catefrances · August 2010

Heatherj43 wrote:

catefrances wrote:

Heatherj43 wrote:

You have to know if the venue provides the catering and booze, then know how many are coming!

Invitiations!! And if you are getting anything else printed, like napkins, matches. Don' t send out invites too early...people forget. I think 5 weeks is protocol.. RSVP's are a must!!! And don't forget thank you notes and stamps for them.

Stamps.

Photographer, and/or videographer.

Gifts for bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Picking bridesmaids and groomsmen.

A church.

License.

Ring(s).

Music...band or DJ or both. Wedding Song, and are you going to do daddy daughter dance, etc.

Flowers.

Color theme.

Tuxedo.

Hair/Make-up ideas and person to do it.

Cars/ like limos or not.

Cake and cake knife.

Flower girl and ring bearer. Ring Pillow.

Table arrangements.

Oh my, there is more, but that is where my brain just stopped.

You don't have to number tables, most venues do that. Its really for them, not you.

makes elopement look very very attractive.

I know, but its not really that bad, like the place you go for printing will tell you the rest. Lots of places will guide you as you go. I was a wedding planner once upon a time, so I think of this stuff, but as said, most places will guide as she goes and she won't have to worry about every little nipicking thing ( or at least I hope). And yes, I'd rather elope!!!

i just cant handle the supposed obligation and societal expectation. i mean honestly me as mother of the bride?? :roll: its really not a role i was born to play.

ive already told my girls that elopement is my fondest wish when they marry, but then i think thats selfish.. so i have decided to bite the bullet and be there for whatever my daughters want their marriage, if they choose it, to be, cause its not about me.

Heineken Helen · August 2010

Heatherj43 wrote:

You have to know if the venue provides the catering and booze, then know how many are coming!

Timing the church and the venue appropriately!! You don't want people having to wait two hours between the wedding and the party!!

Invitiations!! And if you are getting anything else printed, like napkins, matches. Don' t send out invites too early...people forget. I think 5 weeks is protocol.. RSVP's are a must!!! And don't forget thank you notes and stamps for them.

Stamps for thank you's.

Photographer, and/or videographer.

Gifts for bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Picking bridesmaids and groomsmen.

A church. (see above about timing!!)

Marriage License. Here in states has to be 3 days in advance. And some churches require a month of classes. So, check what the law wants and what your church wants.

Ring(s).

Music...band or DJ or both. Wedding Song, and are you going to do daddy daughter dance, etc.

Flowers. For the church, corsages for mothers, the bouquet and the smaller bouquet you actually throw, and the bridemaid's flowers.

Color theme. If hall does it, great...if not...you have to get all the decorations together yourself to match YOUR colors.

Tuxedo. And the groomsmens. Make sure they try them on after geting fitted...then again early the day of wedding, cuz those places are notorious to give the wrong size no matter how many fittings you have!!! I have seen lots of grooms stuck wearing pants two sizes too big!!!

Hair/Make-up ideas and person to do it.

Cars/ limos or not??

Cake and cake knife.

Flower girl and ring bearer. Ring Pillow.

Decide who is going to keep the money gift envelopes for that night. VERY IMPORTANT!!

Blue garter.

Table arrangements.

Nerve pills! LOL!

Oh my, there is more, but that is where my brain just stopped.

You don't have to number tables, most venues do that. Its really for them, not you.

Great list Heather... I think the list could go on forever if ya wanted

He's making the invitations at the mo.

As for transport, we could hire a ferrari for the same price as the Bentley... I know which one I'd prefer

I really want an old style convertible beetle but those are hard to get :oops: so really were not too bothered about the transport. It's 300 we could put towards something else.

The wedding thread

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