Strange But Probably True

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  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Every year there are 24 fatalities that occur while doing the Hokey Pokey.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Jesus doesn't in fact love ALL the little children, all the little children of the world. Timmy Longerstrom, of Clark County, Oregon is NOT loved.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    The shaved testicle of a mosquito can cure cancer if you stick it directly in your left ear canal.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    failedpersephone wrote:
    Timmy Longerstrom, of Clark County, Oregon is NOT loved.

    Somewhere in Vegas Michael Jackson's radar is going berzerk.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • Steve Dunne
    Steve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    In a historic and long-awaited celebration, vegetarians were finally able to feast on a cloned turkey on Thanksgiving.
    I love to turn you on
  • Spunkie
    Spunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 7,095
    12% of all gay farmers learned to love the smell of animal manure by practicing the Dirty Sanchez maneouver while wearing a cow bell.
    I was swimming in the Great Barrier Reef 
    Animals were hiding behind the Coral 
    Except for little Turtle
    I could swear he's trying to talk to me 
    Gurgle Gurgle
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    74% of the time you spend on the message pit, could be better spent practicing jujitsu.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Bill Clinton can sing along to all of Puccini's operas as he once learned Italian from watching Bugsy Malone with the subtitles on... he can also move planets using the wind created by fluttering his eyelashes
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • chinobaeza
    chinobaeza Santiago Posts: 2,489
    I'm a proud owner of 3 testicles
  • Spunkie
    Spunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 7,095
    edited October 2023
    chinobaeza wrote:
    I'm a proud owner of 3 testicles

    .
    Post edited by Spunkie on
    I was swimming in the Great Barrier Reef 
    Animals were hiding behind the Coral 
    Except for little Turtle
    I could swear he's trying to talk to me 
    Gurgle Gurgle
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Captain Caveman was originally supposed to be Admiral Caveman but he failed his Naval Entrance exam due to lice infestation
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • chinobaeza
    chinobaeza Santiago Posts: 2,489
    tish wrote:
    Men with only one testicle have the extra body part added to the size of their penis. Conversely, the same proportions occurs with 3 testicles, diminshing the penis size.
    touché
    :D
  • oil alternative
    oil alternative Posts: 192
    China 1784 there was a great water shortage, the king ordered his men to collect one tear from every first born child, greatly underestimating the impact such a vast amount of liquid would have on the environment they had to store the excess moisture, thereby creating the pacific ocean, the rest is history
    www.myspace.com/rockmastergeneral

    To break down borders and realise that we are one species and then the true patriotism comes from pride and love of the human race, not from the tribes of which we currently are divided, open your eyes your mind will see! - ME
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    When Jay Leno dies and they crack him open for his autopsy, all that will be found is the residue of 3000 bags of doritos (the bags itself, he has no time to open a wrapper), a missing funny bone, and the ignition switch of a 1961 AC Cobra.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Time travel is possible, but the secret died with Christopher Lloyd. You think he is still alive?? NOPE! he just keep traveling back in time to appear as himself in the space-time continuum.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    If you offer to scratch the belly of a telemarketer, they cannot refuse. Offer it next time you get a call.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    if you tie the aura of Whoopi Goldberg to a passing yacht then somewhere in Kansas a hairdresser gets sciatica.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    If you mispronounce Sade's name to her face she will pull three hairs out of your head. If you are bald, she will find hair somewhere on your body.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    "Gentleman" Jim Reed was NO gentleman.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Sammy Davis Jr saw everything in sepia tone as a result of a brutal bronze smelting accident
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.

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