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  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    I understand you do Anna, but this meeting really needs to be finished with a conclusion of where we are going to go together. And seeing you are the one person to make that decision You need to be here with us. After that I think you can do so.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    i paced the room waiting for callie and hopefully faith to return. at the sound of freya's voice, i stopped and turned to face her.

    'i was scared anna. that's why i had to put you here. i thought you were trully broken that night and it sacred me. i didn't know what else to do. i knew that i couldn't help you and vincent wasn't helping me deal with it. so i did what i had to do and if you can't see that them that's too bad. you're selfish to always make everything about you. i grew up in that house as well. i think you forget that.'

    wow. i can'tbelieve it. freya finally found a voice. good for her. i still hated her for this though.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    At that moment Callie stepped back into the room she closed the door behind her. Let us continue Anna, the sooner this is all behind you. David signaled me to my chair with his eyes.

    Isn't Faith coming back?
    No Anna we will have to finish without her present.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    it was then that callie realised she'd walked in on something. she looked at me and then turned to david.

    'can somebody tell me what i've missed ?'

    i didn't want to be the one to talk. i waited for david. callie wasn't going to let me get away with being silent.

    'anna? is there anything you have to say?'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    Well you missed a mirical, Freya finally spoke. Not that she said anything.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    david shook his head.

    'come on anna, it was more than that and you know it.'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    OK she was sorry for putting me here, but alot of good that does me.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    naturally that sounded not quite right to callie. she turned to freya.

    'freya. is that what was going on?'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    If Freya could sink into the ground there and then she would have. It seemed as if she wasn't going to reply for lack of words, but finally she did. I don't want Anna to feel this way. I just wish she change her ways. I am scared for her, I already lost my mother and I do not want to lose my little sister as well.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    'and why would you think that freya?'

    i guess callie was turning this into that family therapy session freya didn't turn up for last week.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    Because of all the cutting into her own flesh and the constant drinking. Nothing in her live is stable, she runs from one disaster to the next. We had to take her to the hospital the time before lost. I'm afraid one day she'll actually do what she says she hasn't. The will come a time that she'll pushed herself to far. She never got over our childhood, not that you ever fully do get over it. But she's so self destructive and she always has been. If she goes on like this, there will come a day that she loses control and she won't get it back. I don't want anything to happen to her.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    my slow clapping didn't win any fans. but the whithering looks i got were exactly what i was expecting.

    'well let's see shall we freya. our father drank and hit his wife. then when he was through with her he'd come after me because i was a stubborn little mule, which of course made me an easy mark because i'd go off at him. after a few months i learnt to steer clear of him. but more often than not he'd find me. and when he didn't then you were as good as anyone. he'd yell and break stuff. including us. he'd call mum a whore and said the same thing to us until i at least, made it true. he was a vicious man who thought it was okay to make his children stand on a cold kitchen floor in the dead of winter in
    bare feet and underclothes. he beat me so bad i ended in hospital. you remember that don't you freya? he'd ramble on about fuck knows what and confide in me that he knew that i understood cause he and i were the same. i was nine years old when i started to think i was losing my mind. i saw him hit by a car. i saw him beaten up more than once for mouthing off to strangers. he hit me for crying that day. said i had to toughen up. i was nine years old. then mum died and i hated her for leaving. i hated her for not taking me with her. i'd watch other kids with their dads and damn God for not giving me a real father. i just wanted it all to stop. drinking didn't help. so i drank more. thought maybe guys would. strike two on that account. but it didn't stop me from doing either. don't you see freya, i am in control. that's what the problem is. i don't cut myself because i'm out of control. i do it to hold myself together. it's my decision and no one elses.'

    i had to stop. if i kept talking i would've said things i didn't even want to admit to myself. things that'd do no one any good to know. i was tired. i wanted to go back to my room. when i looked at freya, she was crying. toughen up girl. toughen up.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    You are talking about control like you know what it is. Let me tell You Anna Palmer you know nothing about it. Do you seriously think making your body bleed has anything to do with control. Is opening your legs for every motherfucker that buys you some booze your idea of control. It is not you in control Anna it is your hurt that has control.
    You confront people with all sort of shit that you can throw at them, but when you are confronted yourself you react as a little child. You turn your back and never stay to listen to a reply anyone wants to give you. You in control don’t make me laugh little sister. You run from everything you ether do it literally or you do it buy drinking or fucking, and if that all fails, well, hell why not see if we can cut the pain out. Oh, now I’m forgetting something that goddamn painting of yours. You go run into that imaginary world and try to hide there. Why not confront your problems for once Anna. Stop with all your lame excuses and look at your life. It is a mess! Do something about it, you said dad told you to toughen up, he was right. You attention horny, thrill seeking egocentric cry baby.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    i couldn't believe what i hearing. all these years and freya finally has the balls to tell me what she really thinks of me.good for her. bitch. i could outshout her, i knew that. now was the time for a little calm. i lowered my voice and stared at my everloving sister.

    'screw you freya. that's so not fair. you know there has been no one since davey. you talk to me about my lack of control. what about you? stuck in a loveless marriage to a man who does screw everything in his sightline. the only reason vincent is still with you is because he knows you'll always be there for him. you think my cutting is a sign of lack of control. that i hide in my painting. take a look at your own life. i never said i was perfect. perhaps if you fucked a few more guys you'd have a little more self respect and stop judging my life.'

    that was mean. but she pissed me off. i'm not going sit there and take it while my sister calls me a whore. He did that enough times.

    'you want to know why i turn away when someone tries to convince me of something i usually don't want to hear? because if i didn't, i would have struck them. i would have lashed out with more than words and that would have made me just like Him. that was my deepest concern. that i would end up like my father.'

    and there it was. my sole reason for destroying myself and trying to hide in a world i didn't want to live in. i closed my eyes and pressed my fists into my eye sockets. breathe anna breathe.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    You seem to think it is a good thing that you turn away. What am I supposed to applaud you for not hitting people. You are 26 years old I think it isn’t unreasonable to expect you to bring up the courtesy to at least listen to other people when you drop a bomb on them.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    ' so are we talking about some specific incident here or just me generally disregarding everything you say freya?'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    I'm not just talking sbout me Anna. I seen you do it so many times that is more like some sort of housestyle than one incident.
    At that point Callie stood up to get the attention and told us to calm down.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    in unison freya and i looked at her. it was funny to see as sisters and as one we reacted to this 'threat'. callie turned to david.

    'i think that anna has made some progress here today. it gives you, david, something to build on with her. thank you for coming today freya. and anna i'd like to talk with you today after you've finished your chores. shall we say, my office at 3.'

    it was more a command than a request. i nodded and started towards the door. no one stopped me this time and i didn't look back at freya.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    I didn't feel like staying inside so I slipped outside. Not that I couldn't go there, I just didn't want anyone to join me. I had enough company for the rest of the day, unfortunetly I still had to meet Callie later. For now though I was free and alone.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    'what the fuck do you mean anna's locked up? i don't understand...what happened?'

    as davey stared at him, hamish tried to explain to his friend what had happened that night. as always he watched as davey stood on anna's side, railing at freya. whilst at the same time completely ignoring the fact that seeing her sister in meltdown gave freya no choice but to take the action she felt necessary. it was then that hamish realised that neither anna or davey would ever be free of each other. and that davey was as detrimental to anna's state of being as she was herself. for years he had stood by and allowed anna to continue on the path she had chosen. and been there only reinforce for anna that her behaviour was alright. when it clearly wasn't. he never pushed anna about her past, but was happy just to listen when she shared what little she did. when adalita died, the perfect opportunity arose for davey to really help anna, but as usual he took his cues from her and nothing was resolved. instead anna withdrew into her own world and davey went off and slept with that girl tanya. it occurred to hamish that davey needed anna as much as it appeared that she needed him. davey was anna's wall between the world she couldn't cope with sometimes and the world she created within her own mind. exactly what davye got out fo the situation, hamish wasn't sure about.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say

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