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  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    'what!? i am here because of someone else. i didn't volunteer. and yes the answers i give you are for no one but you. i don't care. i didn't asked to be saved. FUCK. i hate this david i hate it'


    i thought it best to stop ther and not give him more of an excuse to extend my little stay.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    I know you didn't volunteer to be here, but that does not mean you can't get anything out of it. If you can't see that, than you are less intelligent than I gave you credit for. If you give answers soully to please me, then know I get please from other things then listening to the misery of other people. I love to take a ride with people and see where it leads us, trying to comprehend the trip. Hoping it will help the journey of the person in front of me. If you do not feel any change in your life is welcome then by all means stop wasting my time. Just leave my room and we will see what that has for consequences.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    i laughed. he was kidding right? he had to be.

    'intelligence has nothing to do with it. and how dare you insinuate that i'm somehow dumb because i won't take advantage of this marvellous opportunity. look. i know there are people who do get something out of this kind of therapy. but i am not one of them. i don't like people. i don't like having to talk to them if i don't want to. i know that my life isn't perfect. what ever the hell that means. and i know i need to sort some stuff out. but i want to do it in my own time, in my own way. you can't force an agenda on people. we don't all fit into a neat little pigeonhole. that night freya found me, i wasn't trying to kill myself. because if i was believe me i would not be sitting here with you right now. i would be dead.'

    i could feel myself slipping. god damn son of a bitch. i had to get out of here.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    The fact whether or not you tried to kill yourself is not really interesting to me. You keep bringing it up though. You say this is not your choice and you will not make it yours. I can't help that, nor can't I help you if you don't want to. But don't say you will do it in your own time, because your dossier says that you haven't made any effort to so. It shows quit the opposite. You have no intension of helping yourself you need it to be this way.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    'really mr wizard? how the fuck would you know? i am 26 years old. as far as i'm concerned i've got the rest of my life to work it out. my dossier? where did you get that information from? freya? vincent? if whether or not i tried to kill myself is as irrelevant as you say, then what the hell am i doing here?'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    You say you didn't try, but what is left is that you were auto-mutilating now this is why it is not of real importance. You have a problem, that is apparent in both scenarios.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    ' see, this is what i see as the problem. people, society aren't willing to accept that these kinds of things happen. they think that if you cut yourself then you are a freak. why is that? would you prefer that i take medication for something i don't see a as a problem. it's how i cope. i don't hurt anyone else. sometimes i get so confused and i ache, there's this weight on me that i can't lift. cutting is my escape. and painting is my therapy. that's what i need. not to sit here in front of you pouring my heart and soul out. i don't see the reasoning or the need.'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    Auto-mutilating may help you cop, but it isn't dealing with your problems. It is extracting your attention away from the real problem. The issue that is causing you to be unhappy. I am not trying to mould you into a character of thirteen in a dozen. I recognize your individuality, however that doesn't mean you get to do as you like. You've been placed here for us to make an assessment of whether you are a threat to yourself. Your behaviour and your history gave reason to think that you are.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    'why shouldn't i get to do what i like? i'm not hurting anybody else. and i've been placed here because my sister can't control me. and that is her[/] problem. not mine. damn right it's the way i cope. there's a lot worse things that i could be doing.'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    There are.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    'can i go now?'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    Like I said before if you feel there is nothing to gain here for you, then this is a waste of my time. And if you feel this will have to remain your attitude then don't bother coming to me again. The report will have a consequence for your life here after off course. If we can't get a clear picture of the danger you are to yourself, you will be told to go else where and that might be even less pleasant.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    'you're threatening me now david?'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    No not at all.

    After he sais that he paused for a second and then added

    I just want you to know that your actions have consequences. I need to send our report up for evaluation and if it is not clear the sanario I just painted could be the out come. You don't seem aware of your own condition and that is a threat to yourself.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    'and i don't think you are aware of what i am capable of, if i get cornered.'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    That is not something I can take under consideration in regard to my observations. That is, I can't let it dictate the out come.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    ' you know david. you don't even sound like a real person anymore. this place has turned you into a machine. can't you step away from mr counsellor and see it all a different way?'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    With what purpose? Certainly not your best interst.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    'my best interest? that's rich.my best interests would be served by getting out of here and being able to paint. see that's how i work out my frustrations david. by painting. that is my therapy. not sitting here talking to you. you are not going to be on the outside with me. so i can't rely on these litttle chats we have.'
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • karma defect
    karma defect Posts: 5,483
    If painting helps you that is a good thing. The point of these conversations is to help you get back in balance with your past. Just painting is clearly not enough for you. I am not saying medication is the way to go for you, I don't know. What I do know is you can learn a few things here that can help in a more constructive way than auto-mutilating. The fact that you paint is great it gives you a positive outlet. But just painting is not enough. I hope you will pick up some tricks here that can help you. However what we don't what is for you to grow dependent on therapy. You need some ways to help you focus on the present and control your, ..... lets say inner demons.
    « One man's glory is another man's hell.
    You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
    Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
    I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
    I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»

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