But here's the difference between what you and I are saying: You seem to think it's natural for life/love to be this way and are willing to settle. I don't and I'm not. Guys ask me out all the time, but I choose not to start relationships with people who like me only for my physical appearance. But you're fine with that system. I would rather be alone (what's wrong with that anyway?) than be with someone who loves me only until the next hot girl comes along (and there will ALWAYS be someone hotter out there somewhere) or because they settled.
Fuck settling. Why would I want to share my home and my life with someone who doesn't make me genuinely happy? That would be more trouble than it's worth. Women used to do it for the financial stability, but now we are able to provide for ourselves. For the sex, you say? When I want to have sex I have no problems getting laid. Being tied down would only limit my options.
Who said anything about settling? I agree with all of this.
I've known guys like this and to me it's analogous to the women who feel insecure about their looks. Just as I wish it weren't that way for women, I also wish it weren't that way for men. You don't have to have money to be valuable. (I will admit, however, that I don't want to financially support you.) You don't have to buy women drinks and pay for everything when you go out. And you certainly don't have to be intimidated by women with good careers.
On a side note, I have a female friend who's a doctor and I'm sure this works against her when it comes to finding guys to date. It's a lose/lose situation all around then.
That's a bit hypocritical. You say the pressure put on women to look good is wrong and the pressure put on men to be financially successful is wrong; then, if a guy wants a woman that cares about looking good he's shallow, but if a woman wants a guy that cares about making his own money... well that's just reasonable.
I've known guys like this and to me it's analogous to the women who feel insecure about their looks. Just as I wish it weren't that way for women, I also wish it weren't that way for men. You don't have to have money to be valuable. (I will admit, however, that I don't want to financially support you.) You don't have to buy women drinks and pay for everything when you go out. And you certainly don't have to be intimidated by women with good careers.
On a side note, I have a female friend who's a doctor and I'm sure this works against her when it comes to finding guys to date. It's a lose/lose situation all around then.
That's a bit hypocritical. You say the pressure put on women to look good is wrong and the pressure put on men to be financially successful is wrong; then, if a guy wants a woman that cares about looking good he's shallow, ... but if a woman wants a guy that cares about making his own money well that's just reasonable.
That is very hypocritical! :?
And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
I've known guys like this and to me it's analogous to the women who feel insecure about their looks. Just as I wish it weren't that way for women, I also wish it weren't that way for men. You don't have to have money to be valuable. (I will admit, however, that I don't want to financially support you.) You don't have to buy women drinks and pay for everything when you go out. And you certainly don't have to be intimidated by women with good careers.
On a side note, I have a female friend who's a doctor and I'm sure this works against her when it comes to finding guys to date. It's a lose/lose situation all around then.
That's a bit hypocritical. You say the pressure put on women to look good is wrong and the pressure put on men to be financially successful is wrong; then, if a guy wants a woman that cares about looking good he's shallow, but if a woman wants a guy that cares about making his own money... well that's just reasonable.
No it's not hypocritical. Financially supporting oneself is a nuetral position. I'm saying I don't expect a guy to take care of me financially and I don't think he should expect me to take care of him financially. How is not wanting to pay someone else's rent at all analogous to expecting someone to look a certain way? Maybe I should phrase it differently: I'll date you if you're homeless, but I won't buy you a house.
No it's not hypocritical. Financially supporting oneself is a nuetral position. I'm saying I don't expect a guy to take care of me financially and I don't think he should expect me to take care of him financially. How is not wanting to pay someone else's rent at all analogous to expecting someone to look a certain way? Maybe I should phrase it differently: I'll date you if you're homeless, but I won't buy you a house.
Yeah, I can see how that could lead to a stable, loving marriage right there. He stays on the street and you refuse to let him into your home until he gets a job. It's not like you're putting any conditions on what standards the guy must meet in order to consider a serious relationship with them.
If it's such an unreasonable burden for women to shave their legs just to please a man, how is it reasonable to demand that your spouse or significant other give up 40 hours a week when you make enough to pay the mortgage on your own just to please you?
How is not wanting to have all sexual desire killed every time you look at your significant other completely different from expecting someone to make a certain base income?
It doesn't take a lot of time...I get up at 7am to be at work at 8:15... and smiling is part of a beauty regime...do you know how many wrinkles you get by frowning?!?!?!
there is no effort needed to smile... at all see?
Also, smiling is part of a NATURAL beauty... it's not something somebody has to work at or put any effort into... or do to make somebody else happy. Smiling makes yourself happy
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
No it's not hypocritical. Financially supporting oneself is a nuetral position. I'm saying I don't expect a guy to take care of me financially and I don't think he should expect me to take care of him financially. How is not wanting to pay someone else's rent at all analogous to expecting someone to look a certain way? Maybe I should phrase it differently: I'll date you if you're homeless, but I won't buy you a house.
Yeah, I can see how that could lead to a stable, loving marriage right there. He stays on the street and you refuse to let him into your home until he gets a job. It's not like you're putting any conditions on what standards the guy must meet in order to consider a serious relationship with them.
If it's such an unreasonable burden for women to shave their legs just to please a man, how is it reasonable to demand that your spouse or significant other give up 40 hours a week when you make enough to pay the mortgage on your own just to please you?
You've got to be kidding, right? For one thing, who said I make enough to pay the mortgage on my own? For another thing, are you saying it's not reasonable for people to pull their weight in a partnership? How is it a partnership to say, "I don't expect you to look like a supermodel and you don't expect me to look like a supermodel, but I do expect you to work your ass off to pay the bills while I lay around on the couch all day watching novelas"? (All things being equal, of course.)
i'm late to the thread but just wanted to throw my 2cents into the jar. not sure what it is like to be beautiful....but in general i don't want to be in anybody's shoes but my own. even the most gorgeous people have their own issues and demons to deal with, i'll keep my own. and as for society....99% of it is populated by idiots, so like i care what it thinks lol
Also, smiling is part of a NATURAL beauty... it's not something somebody has to work at or put any effort into... or do to make somebody else happy. Smiling makes yourself happy
hang onto your hat, i agree with you :shock: hahaha actually smiling *gives* you wrinkles, i have some laugh lines, but it doesn't bother me. like you said, it makes yourself happy, and is natural
"I don't expect you to look like a supermodel and you don't expect me to look like a supermodel, but I do expect you to work your ass off to pay the bills while I lay around on the couch all day watching novelas"? (All things being equal, of course.)
Exactly. I don't expect you to financially support me and vice versa, but I do expect that you will find me attractive and desire me while I lay around on the couch all day gorging on chocolate and growing bloated, farting, refusing to shower and totally unshaven... because what I look like should never have anything to do with how attractive I am.
"I don't expect you to look like a supermodel and you don't expect me to look like a supermodel, but I do expect you to work your ass off to pay the bills while I lay around on the couch all day watching novelas"? (All things being equal, of course.)
Exactly. I don't expect you to financially support me and vice versa, but I do expect that you will find me attractive and desire me while I lay around on the couch all day gorging on chocolate and growing bloated, farting, refusing to shower and totally unshaven... because what I look like should never have anything to do with how attractive I am.
"I don't expect you to look like a supermodel and you don't expect me to look like a supermodel, but I do expect you to work your ass off to pay the bills while I lay around on the couch all day watching novelas"? (All things being equal, of course.)
Exactly. I don't expect you to financially support me and vice versa, but I do expect that you will find me attractive and desire me while I lay around on the couch all day gorging on chocolate and growing bloated, farting, refusing to shower and totally unshaven... because what I look like should never have anything to do with how attractive I am.
Eh... you just don't get what I'm saying...
You're saying that's it's wrong for someone to have the expectation that you will pull your weight in a relationship by trying to be as attractive to them as they are to you, but that it is ok for you to have the expectation that they will pull their weight in a relationship by making sure they contribute financially to the relationship as equally as you do.
You're saying that's it's wrong for someone to have the expectation that you will pull your weight in a relationship by trying to be as attractive to them as they are to you, but that it is ok for you to have the expectation that they will pull their weight in a relationship by making sure they contribute financially to the relationship as equally as you do.
No, that's not what I'm saying and I'm pretty sure you know that and are just trying to be argumentative...
the last few posts would make for a great thread....
discuss relationships and people pulling their weight financially in a relationship...
i know both males and females involved in relationships who just sit on their ass while the other person in the relationship works their asses off to make sure they can get by financially....
i also know a few people who are strictly involved in a relationship just because the other person can support them by feeding them...clothing them....and giving them shelter....
in other words they are whoring themselves.....because if left on their own they would be living in the gutter begging for cigarettes.......
then of course there are relationships where the hubby works while the wife stays home and raises the children......which is just fine in my eyes....but those relationships arent the norm anymore....
the norm seems to be both parents working...and forking over a boatload of money for child care....
Post edited by SPEEDY MCCREADY on
Take me piece by piece..... Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
You're saying that's it's wrong for someone to have the expectation that you will pull your weight in a relationship by trying to be as attractive to them as they are to you, but that it is ok for you to have the expectation that they will pull their weight in a relationship by making sure they contribute financially to the relationship as equally as you do.
No, that's not what I'm saying and I'm pretty sure you know that and are just trying to be argumentative...
Then I'm pretty sure you are wrong, because I'm not trying to be argumentative. That is exactly what you've been writing as far as I can tell. The guy has to put his own $ into the relationship, but the girl should never have to do anything to try to look attractive.
And since you liked saying my views on sex outside a relationship go both ways, your views on attractiveness go both ways too? I'd post an example I have in mind, but I'm pretty sure I'd get banned. Suffice to say, I suspect there are things you'd never consider doing for this man, no matter how great a guy he is:
You're saying that's it's wrong for someone to have the expectation that you will pull your weight in a relationship by trying to be as attractive to them as they are to you, but that it is ok for you to have the expectation that they will pull their weight in a relationship by making sure they contribute financially to the relationship as equally as you do.
pull your weight to be attractive? :shock: I couldn't be with someone who didn't find me attractive as I am. I don't need make up to become something I'm not... cos I'm comfortable with myself as I am. Sure I wear make up the odd time... cos it can be fun... but I only wear it when I want to... not when I want to impress somebody cos that's a pretty sad way to be :(
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
You're saying that's it's wrong for someone to have the expectation that you will pull your weight in a relationship by trying to be as attractive to them as they are to you, but that it is ok for you to have the expectation that they will pull their weight in a relationship by making sure they contribute financially to the relationship as equally as you do.
pull your weight to be attractive? :shock: I couldn't be with someone who didn't find me attractive as I am. I don't need make up to become something I'm not... cos I'm comfortable with myself as I am. Sure I wear make up the odd time... cos it can be fun... but I only wear it when I want to... not when I want to impress somebody cos that's a pretty sad way to be :(
would you fix your hair or apply make up if you had advance notice that you were meeting pearl jam?
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Also, smiling is part of a NATURAL beauty... it's not something somebody has to work at or put any effort into... or do to make somebody else happy. Smiling makes yourself happy
hang onto your hat, i agree with you :shock: hahaha actually smiling *gives* you wrinkles, i have some laugh lines, but it doesn't bother me. like you said, it makes yourself happy, and is natural
Lol, well put, any facial expression gives you wrinkles so, if you don't want wrinkles don't frown, don't laugh, get botox and then you'll be happy! I'd rather just get the wrinkles to be honest it's more fun.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
would you fix your hair or apply make up if you had advance notice that you were meeting pearl jam?
Honestly, most likely no. At PJ concerts, I know there's a great chance of being front row and having Mike or Ed right in front of me... and I don't wear make up to them... and I wear shit clothes cos they're gonna be destroyed. So they've already seen me in that state... no point NOW trying to impress them
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
would you fix your hair or apply make up if you had advance notice that you were meeting pearl jam?
Honestly, most likely no. At PJ concerts, I know there's a great chance of being front row and having Mike or Ed right in front of me... and I don't wear make up to them... and I wear shit clothes cos they're gonna be destroyed. So they've already seen me in that state... no point NOW trying to impress them
your clothes get destroyed at a pearl jam concert? front row? lucky you sometimes at concerts, I might get a little beer on my shows, that's about it.
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
would you fix your hair or apply make up if you had advance notice that you were meeting pearl jam?
Honestly, most likely no. At PJ concerts, I know there's a great chance of being front row and having Mike or Ed right in front of me... and I don't wear make up to them... and I wear shit clothes cos they're gonna be destroyed. So they've already seen me in that state... no point NOW trying to impress them
your clothes get destroyed at a pearl jam concert? front row? lucky you sometimes at concerts, I might get a little beer on my shows, that's about it.
I'm talking about the European GA shows... where you usually get drenched in sweat... and often very little of it is your own :oops: it's quite disgusting really if you give it much thought... so I don't and you'll often be sprayed with water by security guards passing it back.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
It doesn't take a lot of time...I get up at 7am to be at work at 8:15... and smiling is part of a beauty regime...do you know how many wrinkles you get by frowning?!?!?!
there is no effort needed to smile... at all see?
Also, smiling is part of a NATURAL beauty... it's not something somebody has to work at or put any effort into... or do to make somebody else happy. Smiling makes yourself happy
Well Helen, you got me there!!
And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
You're saying that's it's wrong for someone to have the expectation that you will pull your weight in a relationship by trying to be as attractive to them as they are to you, but that it is ok for you to have the expectation that they will pull their weight in a relationship by making sure they contribute financially to the relationship as equally as you do.
pull your weight to be attractive? :shock: I couldn't be with someone who didn't find me attractive as I am. I don't need make up to become something I'm not... cos I'm comfortable with myself as I am. Sure I wear make up the odd time... cos it can be fun... but I only wear it when I want to... not when I want to impress somebody cos that's a pretty sad way to be :(
"I couldn't be with someone who didn't find me attractive as I am. I don't need money to become something I'm not... cos I'm comfortable with myself as I am. Sure I work the odd day... cos it can be fun... but I only work when I want to... not when I want to impress somebody cos that's a pretty sad way to be"
Easy. My point is only that people have different "deal breakers" and attractiveness is no more or less legitimate than having a cool car, liking the same band, having the right job, desiring someone that shares your religious values, or any other standard you might have.
And I'm not saying every girl needs plastic surgery and to look perfect. I'm saying exactly what I was discussing earlier. If you're an overweight slob, don't whine about the fact that the guy next door that looks like (insert whatever guy you find hot) is shallow for not thinking you're as sexy as (insert hot girl) or not wanting to date you. Make an effort to change or deal with it.
And I also think you're lying through your teeth with that last sentence. Everybody wants to impress the people they care about. You may have a point that you shouldn't have to be 100% all the time and that they shouldn't drop you in the bad times, but if you think you should never have to lift a finger or make any effort to impress someone to keep them with you, you're in for a long life of unhappiness. The few who do have successful marriages all say the same thing: it's a lot of work and you have to make an effort to keep things going.
would you fix your hair or apply make up if you had advance notice that you were meeting pearl jam?
Honestly, most likely no. At PJ concerts, I know there's a great chance of being front row and having Mike or Ed right in front of me... and I don't wear make up to them... and I wear shit clothes cos they're gonna be destroyed. So they've already seen me in that state... no point NOW trying to impress them
Not at a concert. Suppose Ed left Jill and get set up on a blind date with you... if you say you wouldn't try to look your best, you're lying.
You're saying that's it's wrong for someone to have the expectation that you will pull your weight in a relationship by trying to be as attractive to them as they are to you, but that it is ok for you to have the expectation that they will pull their weight in a relationship by making sure they contribute financially to the relationship as equally as you do.
No, that's not what I'm saying and I'm pretty sure you know that and are just trying to be argumentative...
Then I'm pretty sure you are wrong, because I'm not trying to be argumentative. That is exactly what you've been writing as far as I can tell. The guy has to put his own $ into the relationship, but the girl should never have to do anything to try to look attractive.
And since you liked saying my views on sex outside a relationship go both ways, your views on attractiveness go both ways too? I'd post an example I have in mind, but I'm pretty sure I'd get banned. Suffice to say, I suspect there are things you'd never consider doing for this man, no matter how great a guy he is:
I'm saying the guy & girl should BOTH put their money into the relationship (provided they are equally capable of working) and they should BOTH be more concerned with who their partner is on the inside than on the outside - EQUALLY.
Then I'm pretty sure you are wrong, because I'm not trying to be argumentative. That is exactly what you've been writing as far as I can tell. The guy has to put his own $ into the relationship, but the girl should never have to do anything to try to look attractive.
And since you liked saying my views on sex outside a relationship go both ways, your views on attractiveness go both ways too? I'd post an example I have in mind, but I'm pretty sure I'd get banned. Suffice to say, I suspect there are things you'd never consider doing for this man, no matter how great a guy he is:
I'm saying the guy & girl should BOTH put their money into the relationship (provided they are equally capable of working) and they should BOTH be more concerned with who their partner is on the inside than on the outside - EQUALLY.
I got the impression you were going one further and saying that neither should ever be concerned with who their partner is on the outside at all... ie. that it's wrong for a guy to ever be turned off by a hairy woman with unshaved legs.
"I couldn't be with someone who didn't find me attractive as I am. I don't need money to become something I'm not... cos I'm comfortable with myself as I am. Sure I work the odd day... cos it can be fun... but I only work when I want to... not when I want to impress somebody cos that's a pretty sad way to be"
Easy. My point is only that people have different "deal breakers" and attractiveness is no more or less legitimate than having a cool car, liking the same band, having the right job, desiring someone that shares your religious values, or any other standard you might have.
And I'm not saying every girl needs plastic surgery and to look perfect. I'm saying exactly what I was discussing earlier. If you're an overweight slob, don't whine about the fact that the guy next door that looks like (insert whatever guy you find hot) is shallow for not thinking you're as sexy as (insert hot girl) or not wanting to date you. Make an effort to change or deal with it.
And I also think you're lying through your teeth with that last sentence. Everybody wants to impress the people they care about. You may have a point that you shouldn't have to be 100% all the time and that they shouldn't drop you in the bad times, but if you think you should never have to lift a finger or make any effort to impress someone to keep them with you, you're in for a long life of unhappiness. The few who do have successful marriages all say the same thing: it's a lot of work and you have to make an effort to keep things going.
I like to look nice at times but I find it's got more of an impact if it's only on occasion. If you wear make up every day, it becomes part of your face... I went through a make up phase for a while and then felt horrible when I didn't wear it... even though I was quite happy beforehand so I stopped wearing it. I wasn't wearing any makeup when I met my boyfriend and, looking back on the pics of that night, I looked like shit... but he didn't think so
I love my boyfriend but somehow I manage to impress him by just being me :shock: I'm not lying... we're all different soulsinging. There's no point working to impress somebody cos you can't keep it up and that's when the relationship dies. Sure it IS work... but we're not working to simply impress eachother. We're working to ENJOY eachother
I couldn't go out with somebody with your standards... not cos I don't meet them but because I want somebody to love me for ALL of me... not cos I'm a trophy or make them look good or something... that's not much of a basis for a relationship.
Oh and that fat slob might find another fat slob to love her and make her happy just as the shallow hals find eachother.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
It doesn't take a lot of time...I get up at 7am to be at work at 8:15... and smiling is part of a beauty regime...do you know how many wrinkles you get by frowning?!?!?!
there is no effort needed to smile... at all see?
Also, smiling is part of a NATURAL beauty... it's not something somebody has to work at or put any effort into... or do to make somebody else happy. Smiling makes yourself happy
Well Helen, you got me there!!
If smiling's part of a beauty regime, then you win, cos I put plenty of time into smiling no effort though
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
would you fix your hair or apply make up if you had advance notice that you were meeting pearl jam?
Honestly, most likely no. At PJ concerts, I know there's a great chance of being front row and having Mike or Ed right in front of me... and I don't wear make up to them... and I wear shit clothes cos they're gonna be destroyed. So they've already seen me in that state... no point NOW trying to impress them
Not at a concert. Suppose Ed left Jill and get set up on a blind date with you... if you say you wouldn't try to look your best, you're lying.
I'm a realist... not a hypotheticalist Ed's a fantasy. It would never happen. Although when I go on dates, I do make an effort to look good... cos we usually go somewhere nice. I never said I'm AGAINST wearing make up or dressing up... I actually enjoy dressing up but I do it when I want to or to please me not cos I think it's something that SHOULD be done. I also think society continuing to tell people they have to look good if they wanna find someone rather than focussing on finding someone whose personality will complement theirs is just silly. Sure usually people are attracted to eachother initially cos of looks... but you need to get ON if you wanna stay together. You and Pam just seem to be trying to push the idea that looks are everything... they're far from it.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Comments
Who said anything about settling? I agree with all of this.
That's a bit hypocritical. You say the pressure put on women to look good is wrong and the pressure put on men to be financially successful is wrong; then, if a guy wants a woman that cares about looking good he's shallow, but if a woman wants a guy that cares about making his own money... well that's just reasonable.
That is very hypocritical! :?
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
No it's not hypocritical. Financially supporting oneself is a nuetral position. I'm saying I don't expect a guy to take care of me financially and I don't think he should expect me to take care of him financially. How is not wanting to pay someone else's rent at all analogous to expecting someone to look a certain way? Maybe I should phrase it differently: I'll date you if you're homeless, but I won't buy you a house.
Yeah, I can see how that could lead to a stable, loving marriage right there. He stays on the street and you refuse to let him into your home until he gets a job. It's not like you're putting any conditions on what standards the guy must meet in order to consider a serious relationship with them.
If it's such an unreasonable burden for women to shave their legs just to please a man, how is it reasonable to demand that your spouse or significant other give up 40 hours a week when you make enough to pay the mortgage on your own just to please you?
How is not wanting to have all sexual desire killed every time you look at your significant other completely different from expecting someone to make a certain base income?
Also, smiling is part of a NATURAL beauty... it's not something somebody has to work at or put any effort into... or do to make somebody else happy. Smiling makes yourself happy
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
You've got to be kidding, right? For one thing, who said I make enough to pay the mortgage on my own? For another thing, are you saying it's not reasonable for people to pull their weight in a partnership? How is it a partnership to say, "I don't expect you to look like a supermodel and you don't expect me to look like a supermodel, but I do expect you to work your ass off to pay the bills while I lay around on the couch all day watching novelas"? (All things being equal, of course.)
hang onto your hat, i agree with you :shock: hahaha actually smiling *gives* you wrinkles, i have some laugh lines, but it doesn't bother me. like you said, it makes yourself happy, and is natural
Exactly. I don't expect you to financially support me and vice versa, but I do expect that you will find me attractive and desire me while I lay around on the couch all day gorging on chocolate and growing bloated, farting, refusing to shower and totally unshaven... because what I look like should never have anything to do with how attractive I am.
Eh... you just don't get what I'm saying...
You're saying that's it's wrong for someone to have the expectation that you will pull your weight in a relationship by trying to be as attractive to them as they are to you, but that it is ok for you to have the expectation that they will pull their weight in a relationship by making sure they contribute financially to the relationship as equally as you do.
No, that's not what I'm saying and I'm pretty sure you know that and are just trying to be argumentative...
discuss relationships and people pulling their weight financially in a relationship...
i know both males and females involved in relationships who just sit on their ass while the other person in the relationship works their asses off to make sure they can get by financially....
i also know a few people who are strictly involved in a relationship just because the other person can support them by feeding them...clothing them....and giving them shelter....
in other words they are whoring themselves.....because if left on their own they would be living in the gutter begging for cigarettes.......
then of course there are relationships where the hubby works while the wife stays home and raises the children......which is just fine in my eyes....but those relationships arent the norm anymore....
the norm seems to be both parents working...and forking over a boatload of money for child care....
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
I'm sure if he were allowed to go outside, he would get hit on.
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Then I'm pretty sure you are wrong, because I'm not trying to be argumentative. That is exactly what you've been writing as far as I can tell. The guy has to put his own $ into the relationship, but the girl should never have to do anything to try to look attractive.
And since you liked saying my views on sex outside a relationship go both ways, your views on attractiveness go both ways too? I'd post an example I have in mind, but I'm pretty sure I'd get banned. Suffice to say, I suspect there are things you'd never consider doing for this man, no matter how great a guy he is:
http://sameritech.files.wordpress.com/2 ... man_03.jpg
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
would you fix your hair or apply make up if you had advance notice that you were meeting pearl jam?
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
your clothes get destroyed at a pearl jam concert? front row? lucky you
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Well Helen, you got me there!!
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
He gets his way all the time.
"I couldn't be with someone who didn't find me attractive as I am. I don't need money to become something I'm not... cos I'm comfortable with myself as I am. Sure I work the odd day... cos it can be fun... but I only work when I want to... not when I want to impress somebody cos that's a pretty sad way to be"
Easy. My point is only that people have different "deal breakers" and attractiveness is no more or less legitimate than having a cool car, liking the same band, having the right job, desiring someone that shares your religious values, or any other standard you might have.
And I'm not saying every girl needs plastic surgery and to look perfect. I'm saying exactly what I was discussing earlier. If you're an overweight slob, don't whine about the fact that the guy next door that looks like (insert whatever guy you find hot) is shallow for not thinking you're as sexy as (insert hot girl) or not wanting to date you. Make an effort to change or deal with it.
And I also think you're lying through your teeth with that last sentence. Everybody wants to impress the people they care about. You may have a point that you shouldn't have to be 100% all the time and that they shouldn't drop you in the bad times, but if you think you should never have to lift a finger or make any effort to impress someone to keep them with you, you're in for a long life of unhappiness. The few who do have successful marriages all say the same thing: it's a lot of work and you have to make an effort to keep things going.
Not at a concert. Suppose Ed left Jill and get set up on a blind date with you... if you say you wouldn't try to look your best, you're lying.
I'm saying the guy & girl should BOTH put their money into the relationship (provided they are equally capable of working) and they should BOTH be more concerned with who their partner is on the inside than on the outside - EQUALLY.
I got the impression you were going one further and saying that neither should ever be concerned with who their partner is on the outside at all... ie. that it's wrong for a guy to ever be turned off by a hairy woman with unshaved legs.
I love my boyfriend but somehow I manage to impress him by just being me :shock: I'm not lying... we're all different soulsinging. There's no point working to impress somebody cos you can't keep it up and that's when the relationship dies. Sure it IS work... but we're not working to simply impress eachother. We're working to ENJOY eachother
I couldn't go out with somebody with your standards... not cos I don't meet them but because I want somebody to love me for ALL of me... not cos I'm a trophy or make them look good or something... that's not much of a basis for a relationship.
Oh and that fat slob might find another fat slob to love her and make her happy
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you