What is it like to be attractive?

bee_boy

I'm not ugly... I'm exotic

LONGRD

libragirl wrote:

LongRd. wrote:

I know that's really fucking weird that I'm more attracted to an actress' character than her in real life.
So ladies if you want to win over LongRD's heart you better be in character...

:? ....Does that mean I like role-playing?

so you were attracted to her character in Monster? :P

yeah you are kinky!

No man would ever want to meet a woman like Aileen Wuornos. :shock:

bee_boy

LongRd. wrote:

No man would ever want to meet a woman like Aileen Wuornos. :shock:

Aileen Wuornos was a very very ugly woman, both outside and on the inside. Charlize Theron on the other hand... probably the most beautiful woman in Hollywood (up there with Rachel McAdams of course)

kenny olav

First I want to apologize to the original poster for having turned much of this thread into a debate about the looks/sex appeal of lead singers, although it is somewhat related. I'll just say one more thing on that... certainly without the greatness of the music, it wouldn't matter how good looking Vedder/Cornell/Cobain are. I think in the case of Mark Lanegan, his music was darker and just wouldn't appeal to as many people anyway. My main point was... having good looks helps! And that's a general rule in life, unfortunately. There are exceptions of course... I mean Blues Traveler sold a ton of records, and maybe because of his looks, John Popper was more inspired to play a mean harmonica and sing like a motherfucker. And look at the Rolling Stones! Charisma is often a good substitute for looking like a model.

in_hiding79

Kenny Olav wrote:

First I want to apologize to the original poster for having turned much of this thread into a debate about the looks/sex appeal of lead singers, although it is somewhat related. I'll just say one more thing on that... certainly without the greatness of the music, it wouldn't matter how good looking Vedder/Cornell/Cobain are. I think in the case of Mark Lanegan, his music was darker and just wouldn't appeal to as many people anyway. My main point was... having good looks helps! And that's a general rule in life, unfortunately. There are exceptions of course... I mean Blues Traveler sold a ton of records, and maybe because of his looks, John Popper was more inspired to play a mean harmonica and sing like a motherfucker. And look at the Rolling Stones! Charisma is often a good substitute for looking like a model.

Mick Jagger is very unattractive!! :shock:

Good points Kenny!

PJGARDEN

Kenny Olav wrote:

First I want to apologize to the original poster for having turned much of this thread into a debate about the looks/sex appeal of lead singers, although it is somewhat related. I'll just say one more thing on that... certainly without the greatness of the music, it wouldn't matter how good looking Vedder/Cornell/Cobain are. I think in the case of Mark Lanegan, his music was darker and just wouldn't appeal to as many people anyway. My main point was... having good looks helps! And that's a general rule in life, unfortunately. There are exceptions of course... I mean Blues Traveler sold a ton of records, and maybe because of his looks, John Popper was more inspired to play a mean harmonica and sing like a motherfucker. And look at the Rolling Stones! Charisma is often a good substitute for looking like a model.

I agree 100% with this post!

And yes, sorry to the op :(

FoxyMop

JordyWordy wrote:

bee_boy wrote:

JordyWordy wrote:

a bit of self-confidence is attractive. (in moderation)

This is so true. Ugly people like me can become attractive with a bit of self-confidence. When going out, just say to yourself that you have nothing to envy those dudes/girls (which is true). Trust me, you can be hotter than you think.

i cant tell if thats sarcasm or not.....?

anyways, being self-confident or just happy in your skin is a lot sexier to opposite sex (or same sex, no discriminating here) than the alternative, generally. of course someone can you like you even if your not. but generally.

i was bummed out by never getting girls i wanted but other people were hitting on me alot, so despite me thinking i was ugly as sin there were people that liked me. but once i got a smidgin of ego it was a lot easier obviously. thats all.

whats attractive about someone putting themselves down? when your happy & out there it rubs off on others.

Online, we're reduced to MySpace angle photos and what we type, so in that sense...you kind of get to know people from the inside out...but yeah, you still get judged by your photo to a degree.

I agree that confidence is key for initial attraction in a person-to-person situation if you're not what society deems as attractive/beautiful/hot. Nothing is sexier than a relaxed, confident, happy guy.

ajedigecko

as soon as my tail grows back to full length, i will let you know. so due to the aforementioned tail problem, i am currently ostracized from my reptilian companions.

rockpants

I realize I'm way late to this thread, but I think a couple things need to be mentioned.

A) If most women really felt confident in their looks, they wouldn't wear make-up to cover "imperfections". Go ahead and make your eyelids orange or green or purple if you must, but don't cover up a zit or an old scar, then turn around and tell someone else they just need some "confidence" in their appearance. I can't stand this hypocrisy in women.

Confidence, just as people claim attractiveness, is also relative. I'm an ugly chick. I'm quite confident that I am viewed that way by the majority of society. That is my confidence, and there's nothing wrong with this kind of confidence - as you can see, I'm pretty confident about that. I don't wear make-up, don't worry about wearing the right clothes, and my hair is never "done" other than brushed and, on occasion, sprayed with a bit of "Static Guard". :P Hasn't come without its drawbacks. Just because I have this confidence doesn't mean that males have flocked to me. Far from it (but I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm extremely okay with that.)

Thing is, people hear me say or infer that I am unattractive to others, and automatically assume that I have low self-esteem. I simply speak the truth. It is infuriating to always be dismissed as someone with no self-esteem simply due to my ability to understand how others will superficially judge me. We all have the ability to know who we are to other people as much as to ourselves.

The superficial element exists within most people, and part of what I think Keiran may have been asking is, how do you trust that someone will be able to look past the extra 10-20 lbs., or scars, or wrinkles, or greying or balding hair? When I hear someone judging someone on their looks - which is a highly common conversation in most societies - it tells me that they do not have the ability, or just have a limited ability, to see past perceived imperfections. Not to say that they are unable to see past the imperfections eventually, but that it is hard to trust that they can when they publicly denounce or gush over someone else's appearance.

There's more I could say regarding the subject but I'm way past my bedtime. Off for some beauty sleep ... HA!

in_hiding79

rockpants wrote:

I realize I'm way late to this thread, but I think a couple things need to be mentioned.

A) If most women really felt confident in their looks, they wouldn't wear make-up to cover "imperfections". Go ahead and make your eyelids orange or green or purple if you must, but don't cover up a zit or an old scar, then turn around and tell someone else they just need some "confidence" in their appearance. I can't stand this hypocrisy in women.

Confidence, just as people claim attractiveness, is also relative. I'm an ugly chick. I'm quite confident that I am viewed that way by the majority of society. That is my confidence, and there's nothing wrong with this kind of confidence - as you can see, I'm pretty confident about that. I don't wear make-up, don't worry about wearing the right clothes, and my hair is never "done" other than brushed and, on occasion, sprayed with a bit of "Static Guard". :P Hasn't come without its drawbacks. Just because I have this confidence doesn't mean that males have flocked to me. Far from it (but I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm extremely okay with that.)

Thing is, people hear me say or infer that I am unattractive to others, and automatically assume that I have low self-esteem. I simply speak the truth. It is infuriating to always be dismissed as someone with no self-esteem simply due to my ability to understand how others will superficially judge me. We all have the ability to know who we are to other people as much as to ourselves.

The superficial element exists within most people, and part of what I think Keiran may have been asking is, how do you trust that someone will be able to look past the extra 10-20 lbs., or scars, or wrinkles, or greying or balding hair? When I hear someone judging someone on their looks - which is a highly common conversation in most societies - it tells me that they do not have the ability, or just have a limited ability, to see past perceived imperfections. Not to say that they are unable to see past the imperfections eventually, but that it is hard to trust that they can when they publicly denounce or gush over someone else's appearance.

There's more I could say regarding the subject but I'm way past my bedtime. Off for some beauty sleep ... HA!

I know this post was for everyone, but I have my opinion on it:

What's wrong with wearing make up to look your best? I don't get it and I don't buy your post! Something sounds a bit suspicious! By the way, I like scars on the face, they have character and if I had one I wouldn't try to cover it up. Just because a woman wears make up and tells another woman that she just needs some confidence, it doesn't make her a hypocrite. No one has natural beauty, there is no such thing! Everybody can make themselves look better and feel better!

Good try though...

Danimal

Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!"

_Crazy_Mary_

I'm not going to come on here and explain how it feels to be good-looking because inevitably somebody will say, "you're not that good-looking!"
But I will say that everybody obviously has their own idea of what is attractive and what is not. I remember when my husband & I were first dating and he told me about this really good-looking friend of his. He would say, "you're gonna think he's so hot!" And when I met him, ughhh! He was homely, to put it nicely.
It happened again last year, my boss kep telling me about this guy he plays squash with, "wait'll you see him. He's so cute, you'll love him." UG-LY!
I'm one of those women that wears hardly any make-up. Pretty much when I go to work I wear eye shadow and mascara. That's the extent of it. On my days off, nothing. I feel like if a person needs to wear a ton of make-up they are lacking self-confidence.

_

in_hiding79 wrote:

No one has natural beauty, there is no such thing!

What exactly do you mean by that?

mca47

Danimal wrote:

Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!"

LOL!

soulsinging

rockpants wrote:

Confidence, just as people claim attractiveness, is also relative. I'm an ugly chick. I'm quite confident that I am viewed that way by the majority of society. That is my confidence, and there's nothing wrong with this kind of confidence - as you can see, I'm pretty confident about that. I don't wear make-up, don't worry about wearing the right clothes, and my hair is never "done" other than brushed and, on occasion, sprayed with a bit of "Static Guard". :P Hasn't come without its drawbacks. Just because I have this confidence doesn't mean that males have flocked to me. Far from it (but I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm extremely okay with that.)

Thing is, people hear me say or infer that I am unattractive to others, and automatically assume that I have low self-esteem. I simply speak the truth. It is infuriating to always be dismissed as someone with no self-esteem simply due to my ability to understand how others will superficially judge me. We all have the ability to know who we are to other people as much as to ourselves.

Very true. Living in a state of delusion about reality is not "confidence." If you're ugly, you're ugly. Sorry, that's the way it goes. Doesn't mean nobody can ever love you or be attracted to you, but let's be realistic. If I'm 5'0" and 250 lbs and confined to a wheelchair, I'm not going to be able to play in the NBA just because I am confident that I am as athletic as Kobe Bryant. There's confidence in being realistic about who and what you are and playing to your strengths. It doesn't mean you have low self-esteem, it means you're courageous enough to look at yourself in the mirror honestly and accept what you see.

AmentsChick

soulsinging wrote:

Very true. Living in a state of delusion about reality is not "confidence." If you're ugly, you're ugly. Sorry, that's the way it goes. Doesn't mean nobody can ever love you or be attracted to you, but let's be realistic. If I'm 5'0" and 250 lbs and confined to a wheelchair, I'm not going to be able to play in the NBA just because I am confident that I am as athletic as Kobe Bryant. There's confidence in being realistic about who and what you are and playing to your strengths. It doesn't mean you have low self-esteem, it means you're courageous enough to look at yourself in the mirror honestly and accept what you see.

I agree with this to an extent. Confidence will only get you so far. *BUT* confidence DOES play a part. Unattractive person with confidence will be SEEN as more attractive than if they lacked self esteem.

This explains why I tend to get hit on more when I'm in a relationship...I feel prettier so I get hit on more.

I really didn't mean for to come across as arrogant, I'm not. In fact, if anything I fit into the low self-esteem category.

in_hiding79

scb wrote:

in_hiding79 wrote:

No one has natural beauty, there is no such thing!

What exactly do you mean by that?

Everybody needs a little bit of help, you can't deny it....

Rather it's pore strips, coloring your gray hair, wearing a nice dress or if you're a guy, wearing nice pants...we all do it everyday. It's no big deal..everybody's attractive in their own way!

_

in_hiding79 wrote:

scb wrote:

in_hiding79 wrote:

No one has natural beauty, there is no such thing!

What exactly do you mean by that?

Everybody needs a little bit of help, you can't deny it....

Rather it's pore strips, coloring your gray hair, wearing a nice dress or if you're a guy, wearing nice pants...we all do it everyday. It's no big deal..everybody's attractive in their own way!

But do people "need a little help" to meet society's standards of beauty, or does society need to change its standards? And, if the latter is true, is getting the help you speak of counterproductive to that goal?

rockpants

in_hiding79 wrote:

rockpants wrote:

I realize I'm way late to this thread, but I think a couple things need to be mentioned.

A) If most women really felt confident in their looks, they wouldn't wear make-up to cover "imperfections". Go ahead and make your eyelids orange or green or purple if you must, but don't cover up a zit or an old scar, then turn around and tell someone else they just need some "confidence" in their appearance. I can't stand this hypocrisy in women.

Confidence, just as people claim attractiveness, is also relative. I'm an ugly chick. I'm quite confident that I am viewed that way by the majority of society. That is my confidence, and there's nothing wrong with this kind of confidence - as you can see, I'm pretty confident about that. I don't wear make-up, don't worry about wearing the right clothes, and my hair is never "done" other than brushed and, on occasion, sprayed with a bit of "Static Guard". :P Hasn't come without its drawbacks. Just because I have this confidence doesn't mean that males have flocked to me. Far from it (but I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm extremely okay with that.)

Thing is, people hear me say or infer that I am unattractive to others, and automatically assume that I have low self-esteem. I simply speak the truth. It is infuriating to always be dismissed as someone with no self-esteem simply due to my ability to understand how others will superficially judge me. We all have the ability to know who we are to other people as much as to ourselves.

The superficial element exists within most people, and part of what I think Keiran may have been asking is, how do you trust that someone will be able to look past the extra 10-20 lbs., or scars, or wrinkles, or greying or balding hair? When I hear someone judging someone on their looks - which is a highly common conversation in most societies - it tells me that they do not have the ability, or just have a limited ability, to see past perceived imperfections. Not to say that they are unable to see past the imperfections eventually, but that it is hard to trust that they can when they publicly denounce or gush over someone else's appearance.

There's more I could say regarding the subject but I'm way past my bedtime. Off for some beauty sleep ... HA!

I know this post was for everyone, but I have my opinion on it:

What's wrong with wearing make up to look your best? I don't get it and I don't buy your post! Something sounds a bit suspicious! By the way, I like scars on the face, they have character and if I had one I wouldn't try to cover it up. Just because a woman wears make up and tells another woman that she just needs some confidence, it doesn't make her a hypocrite. No one has natural beauty, there is no such thing! Everybody can make themselves look better and feel better!

Good try though...

Why do people "need" to "look their best"? What, exactly, is "suspicious" about my previous post? Please elaborate.

If you re-read my post, I said, "Go ahead and make your eyelids orange or green or purple if you must". I was not lambasting the general application of make-up. I was referring to things like concealer and whatnot that specifically cover up blemishes and the like. If some gal is putting that stuff on, but espousing the view that the only thing some other gal needs in order to be attractive is some confidence - yes, that does make her a hypocrite. She's obviously not confident enough to go without covering up a perceived blemish herself (which would be a lack of confidence in her appearance). The adage, "Do as I say, not as I do" can be applied here.

From your comment "no one has natural beauty," one can infer that you think the only way for people to become beautiful is to purchase & apply it to oneself.

Jeanwah

AmentsChick wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

Very true. Living in a state of delusion about reality is not "confidence." If you're ugly, you're ugly. Sorry, that's the way it goes. Doesn't mean nobody can ever love you or be attracted to you, but let's be realistic. If I'm 5'0" and 250 lbs and confined to a wheelchair, I'm not going to be able to play in the NBA just because I am confident that I am as athletic as Kobe Bryant. There's confidence in being realistic about who and what you are and playing to your strengths. It doesn't mean you have low self-esteem, it means you're courageous enough to look at yourself in the mirror honestly and accept what you see.

I agree with this to an extent. Confidence will only get you so far. *BUT* confidence DOES play a part. Unattractive person with confidence will be SEEN as more attractive than if they lacked self esteem.

This explains why I tend to get hit on more when I'm in a relationship...I feel prettier so I get hit on more.

I really didn't mean for to come across as arrogant, I'm not. In fact, if anything I fit into the low self-esteem category.

I agree. So what, WHAT we look like, it's all about how we feel about ourselves that portrays who we really are to the world, and the existence of self-esteem and/or confidence actually does make a person happier with themselves, not to mention more attractive to others. An "eeyore" attitude is more unattractive to other people than any physical appearance is. Just my opinion on it anyway.