'I'm Seeing Someone'

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  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    iamsampj wrote:
    that doesn't make much sense at all?!

    maybe once there's feelings involved for someone they don't want to come across as a "slutty"...for lack of a better word. some people have a time line of when it is acceptable to sleep with someone you're dating. with strangers and such, maybe they feel they can remain detached from the situation and a timeline wouldn't matter?! it's just them filling a sexual need/desire.

    who knows...we're weird sometimes :)

    i imagine that is what they are thinking, but i dont get why they are then upset when their bf feels insecure or jealous about it.
  • iamsampj
    iamsampj Posts: 784
    soulsinging wrote:
    i imagine that is what they are thinking, but i dont get why they are then upset when their bf feels insecure or jealous about it.
    insecure about them not sleeping with him? that doesn't make sense for the girl to get upset about that...and seems a little selfish. maybe they don't realize how holding out can affect the guy's ego...if that makes any sense?! what do i know really....i haven't had a boyfriend in forever.
    yes...i do feel like a human. i do not feel like a tree.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    iamsampj wrote:
    insecure about them not sleeping with him? that doesn't make sense for the girl to get upset about that...and seems a little selfish. maybe they don't realize how holding out can affect the guy's ego...if that makes any sense?! what do i know really....i haven't had a boyfriend in forever.

    exactly. i know it would bother me to have a girlfriend who wouldn't sleep with me but who i found out had slept with other guys very casually in the past. i know i wouldn't be able to wonder about why she couldn't resist him but finds it so easy to put me off, even if that wasn't really the case.
  • iamsampj
    iamsampj Posts: 784
    soulsinging wrote:
    exactly. i know it would bother me to have a girlfriend who wouldn't sleep with me but who i found out had slept with other guys very casually in the past. i know i wouldn't be able to wonder about why she couldn't resist him but finds it so easy to put me off, even if that wasn't really the case.
    yeah. i guess it's just one of those things that you have to talk through...get to really understand the other person's thought process. work it out from there.
    yes...i do feel like a human. i do not feel like a tree.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    iamsampj wrote:
    yeah. i guess it's just one of those things that you have to talk through...get to really understand the other person's thought process. work it out from there.

    given my past experience and general cynicism towards relationships, i don't think there would be any talking it out for me. i'd be gone.
  • iamsampj
    iamsampj Posts: 784
    soulsinging wrote:
    given my past experience and general cynicism towards relationships, i don't think there would be any talking it out for me. i'd be gone.
    i'm very cautious when it comes to relationships...it sucks when one person can screw it all up for you. i think i'm finally in a really good spot...almost 8 years later :eek: it took me forever to realize that not everyone is going to be that same way...and that i should give things a chance and see what happens. and to not overanalyze things!
    yes...i do feel like a human. i do not feel like a tree.
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    No, I think it means it's more of a female trait than a male one which is true... women are MORE LIKELY to become emotionally attached than men but I still don't think this means most women... not of my generation anyway

    i was simply quoting what scientists said about women and how their bodies & mind work. i am fully aware that there is a precentage of women who don't get emotionally attached.
  • SpliffTastic
    SpliffTastic Posts: 36
    SoapMakesUTaller wrote:
    Why do people who you've been going out with for a month or two suddenly pull this on you? Isn't it a very inconsiderate thing to do after they dangle you along for that 1-2 months?

    Happened to me today and crushed me. She couldn't even do it in person, had to be in text format.

    My fault in a way, broke my own rules a) Went out with someone I work with.....don't shit where you eat right?

    That bad thing is that this came out of nowhere, everything is going great....then, no return calls, no return texts, avoiding me at work. The well suddenly just dried up. I guess she'll learn her lesson in time. The bad thing is that we work together, and will run into each other. The thing that might be even worse, is that I'm pretty sure the guy she's seeing now also works with us...And here I thought I had someone I could care for, for the first time in a long time. :(

    Yeah, I never learn to not mess around with people at work. It gets so awkward when it doesn't work out.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    iamsampj wrote:
    i'm very cautious when it comes to relationships...it sucks when one person can screw it all up for you. i think i'm finally in a really good spot...almost 8 years later :eek: it took me forever to realize that not everyone is going to be that same way...and that i should give things a chance and see what happens. and to not overanalyze things!

    8 years eh? that makes me feel better about still being fucked up 2 years later.
  • vital5
    vital5 Posts: 5,486
    soulsinging wrote:
    no, im saying they're pussies and liars and pieces of shit. any guy who claims to be a "nice guy" is lying and full of shit.
    I'm a nice guy :D
  • vital5
    vital5 Posts: 5,486
    soulsinging wrote:
    i think that was the point. fuck her and drop her. give her the friends line. though i doubt she'd sleep with him. she seems like she'd rather tease him and keep him hanging on than actually give him anything.
    If some woman EVER tries to do this to you.. I suggest you delete here number :) It feels so good once it's gone hehe
  • nothingman44
    nothingman44 Posts: 1,496
    soulsinging wrote:
    8 years eh? that makes me feel better about still being fucked up 2 years later.


    yup i'm well on my way to be fucked up for quite some time.

    i will be jaded for quite some time.
  • iamsampj
    iamsampj Posts: 784
    soulsinging wrote:
    8 years eh? that makes me feel better about still being fucked up 2 years later.
    crazy i know!! it created quite the trust issue...making it hard for me to open up in a new relationship. but, that's what happens when your fiance gets engaged to someone else behind your back...and you realize that you were the back up plan in case the other girl said no. it was quite the soap opera at the time. i'm glad it didn't work out though :)
    yes...i do feel like a human. i do not feel like a tree.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    iamsampj wrote:
    crazy i know!! it created quite the trust issue...making it hard for me to open up in a new relationship. but, that's what happens when your fiance gets engaged to someone else behind your back...and you realize that you were the back up plan in case the other girl said no. it was quite the soap opera at the time. i'm glad it didn't work out though :)

    yeah, i can't top that. that's messed up.
  • iamsampj
    iamsampj Posts: 784
    soulsinging wrote:
    yeah, i can't top that. that's messed up.
    yeah...i'm way suprised that i'm not completely fucked up. i came out alright...though i don't recommend the experience to anyone!
    yes...i do feel like a human. i do not feel like a tree.
  • nothingman44
    nothingman44 Posts: 1,496
    iamsampj wrote:
    crazy i know!! it created quite the trust issue...making it hard for me to open up in a new relationship. but, that's what happens when your fiance gets engaged to someone else behind your back...and you realize that you were the back up plan in case the other girl said no. it was quite the soap opera at the time. i'm glad it didn't work out though :)

    yup...

    much worse than what i went through. glad you came out ok though!

    if you can come out ok after that, i should be fine...and not so cynical after a while.
  • iamsampj
    iamsampj Posts: 784
    nothingman44 wrote:
    yup...

    much worse than what i went through. glad you came out ok though!

    if you can come out ok after that, i should be fine...and not so cynical after a while.
    it gets better...you just have to find a way to work through it. my friends and work and school really helped me out. but i spent about a year being severly depressed. it all works out in the end. it sucks but i really learned a lot from the experience.
    yes...i do feel like a human. i do not feel like a tree.
  • nothingman44
    nothingman44 Posts: 1,496
    iamsampj wrote:
    it gets better...you just have to find a way to work through it. my friends and work and school really helped me out. but i spent about a year being severly depressed. it all works out in the end. it sucks but i really learned a lot from the experience.

    yeah i spent the last 2 months in the deep depression.

    but it is getting better. i've sent emails just to get alot of things off of my chest. and even though i get no response, i know she has read each and every one of them. i've hurt her just as much as she did me...

    all's fair in love in war...or something like that.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    nothingman44 wrote:
    yup i'm well on my way to be fucked up for quite some time.

    i will be jaded for quite some time.

    you can take the mantle when i retire then :)
  • nothingman44
    nothingman44 Posts: 1,496
    soulsinging wrote:
    you can take the mantle when i retire then :)

    nice

    we'll have to have a ceremony to have the torch passed down.

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