Ah, but number 50 specifically states that you will have a backbone and not be afraid to say no.
These women really didn't think things through when compiling this, did they?
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
The good thing about jeremy90210 is that he is still malleable.
20 is such a great age.
Ah but though I am young I have learned to be wary of women already. You'll never break my spirit
In fairness, I actively seem to encourage in women the opportunity to take flight with me, metaphorically speaking, only to cripple my wings at the first opportunity
I'm like a kid who keeps sticking his finger in the plug socket because he knows that one day he's going to light one hell of a bulb
Still, I shall always keep in mind what the great and learned Snoop said, "hoez n' tricks"... I am always mindful of that :cool:
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
Ah but though I am young I have learned to be wary of women already. You'll never break my spirit
In fairness, I actively seem to encourage in women the opportunity to take flight with me, metaphorically speaking, only to cripple my wings at the first opportunity
I'm like a kid who keeps sticking his finger in the plug socket because he knows that one day he's going to light one hell of a bulb
Still, I shall always keep in mind what the great and learned Snoop said, "hoez n' tricks"... I am always mindful of that :cool:
I just scratched you off my list.
It is a short list.
1. Snoop is not an authority.
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I just scratched you off my list.
It is a short list.
1. Snoop is not an authority.
He is too!
I kid though. I would never use such terms to generalise about women, it would be hypocrisy. I love them, though they make it hard to; my eternal and elusive muse
I'll tell you something though, I can bet a guy's list would be a hell of a lot simpler and more realistic than this
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
I kid though. I would never use such terms to generalise about women, it would be hypocrisy. I love them, though they make it hard to; my eternal and elusive muse
I'll tell you something though, I can bet a guy's list would be a hell of a lot simpler and more realistic than this
1. Must like to get drunk and naked.
2. See #1
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1. Will not mind when I get drunk.
2. Will realise that her mood-swings are her body's fault and not mine.
3. Must like poetry and not accuse me of being pretentious for discussing it.
4. Will make an effort not to stay pissed at me for more than a day.
5. Must like beer.
6. Will buy beer if she drinks the last one.
7. Will allow me to shower attention without accusing me of being clingy and accept acts of chivalry as quaint and old-fashioned, not sexist and misogynistic.
8. Will not be offended by my sense of humour, it is a fundamental breach of trust.
9. Will pronounce houmous "hummus" not "hoomus".
10. Will not pronounce "pronunciation" as "pronOUnciation".
I'm a simple man.
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
1. Will not mind when I get drunk.
2. Will realise that her mood-swings are her body's fault and not mine.
3. Must like poetry and not accuse me of being pretentious for discussing it.
4. Will make an effort not to stay pissed at me for more than a day.
5. Must like beer.
6. Will buy beer if she drinks the last one.
7. Will allow me to shower attention without accusing me of being clingy and accept acts of chivalry as quaint and old-fashioned, not sexist and misogynistic.
8. Will not be offended by my sense of humour, it is a fundamental breach of trust.
9. Will pronounce houmous "hummus" not "hoomus".
10. Will not pronounce "pronunciation" as "pronOUnciation".
I'm a simple man.
At least be honest here.
Must be pretty
Must be pretty inside and outside.
Must not like music that you deem inappropriate
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
At least be honest here.
Must be pretty
Must be pretty inside and outside.
Must not like music that you deem inappropriate
Well they are a given, this list refers to criteria she must meet once we have commenced a relationship. That wouldn't happen unless the things you just mentioned were true
Actually no, I have been attracted to a person before, whom I initially wasn't physically attracted to at all, once I got to know them, so being pretty outside isn't necessarily one of my demands. The pronunciation stuff is FAR more important
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
Well they are a given, this list refers to criteria she must meet once we have commenced a relationship. That wouldn't happen unless the things you just mentioned were true
Actually no, I have been attracted to a person before, whom I initially wasn't physically attracted to at all, once I got to know them, so being pretty outside isn't necessarily one of my demands. The pronunciation stuff is FAR more important
What if Queen is her favorite band? What then, Jeremy, what then?
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What if Queen is her favorite band? What then, Jeremy, what then?
I am willing to make certain allowances when it comes to music, after all, I'd be frightfully bored if a girl gave me no opportunity to argue with her and attempt to educate her in the ways of Ukranian jazz but frankly, in the case of the prospective girl being a Queen fan, SHE would have to something about it first. It's not for other people to sort out one's personal and embarrassing diseases.
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
I am willing to make certain allowances when it comes to music, after all, I'd be frightfully bored if a girl gave me no opportunity to argue with her and attempt to educate her in the ways of Ukranian jazz but frankly, in the case of the prospective girl being a Queen fan, SHE would have to something about it first. It's not for other people to sort out one's personal and embarrassing diseases.
dude, some of their earlier stuff was okay you're very harsh.
Thank you Sex and the City for setting the cause of women back a couple decades. Just when women were finally beginning to break boundaries and eradicate stereotypes, you launch a show that reinforces, glorifies, and encourages every stupid stereotype about women imaginable. Rather than moving women forward, you attempt to push them into their role and drag men with you. You don't fight magazines that demean women by creating the impression that they have to have a perfect body to be loved, you promote those magazines with endless chatter about shoe fetishes and designer labels and completely fail to see the irony in complaining about impossible male standards of beauty while creating lists like this one and telling women that they DESERVE nothing less than perfection. This would be laughable if it weren't disheartening to know that many truly believe things like this.
dude, some of their earlier stuff was okay you're very harsh.
how do you not know when I'm exaggerating to amuse myself by now? I'm not Hitler for godssakes
You definitely contravene rule number 8 from my list. You'll never make a good wife for me Jamie :(
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
I see it as proof that no woman has any clue what she really wants, and if she ever did it would change the second the moon waxed or waned. That's why I trust Snoop's authority. There's no way to please a woman, so you might as well treat them all the same! Try to make them happy and you're up against a list like that and setting yourself up for failure. Act like you don't give a fuck what she wants and she will love you for your consistency and for providing stability in the roller coaster hormone ride she spends her life on.
Oh yes, you are perfectly correct.
Finally some man has figured it out.
lol
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
how do you not know when I'm exaggerating to amuse myself by now? I'm not Hitler for godssakes
You definitely contravene rule number 8 from my list. You'll never make a good wife for me Jamie :(
number 8 ? I'm not offended at all by your sense of humour, in fact your soh is like an old friend...that I don't recognise at first
And as for making a good wife for you, well I haven't got into genetic experiments yet, but if I was I'd be making you a mixture of Carol Vorderman, Nigella and....Trixiecat
number 8 ? I'm not offended at all by your sense of humour, in fact your soh is like an old friend...that I don't recognise at first
And as for making a good wife for you, well I haven't got into genetic experiments yet but if I was, I'd be making you a mixture of Carol Vorderman, Nigella and....Trixiecat
Well I'm glad, I was afraid I had offended your inner Queen fan
Also, go a little easy on the Vorderman and that sounds smashing
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
Well I'm glad, I was afraid I had offended your inner Queen fan
Also, go a little easy on the Vorderman and that sounds smashing
yeah, the Vorderman will be very modestly sprinkled into the mix.
My 'inner Queen fan' is only mildly partial to some of the early stuff, and finds the new collaboration with Paul Rodgers rather erm, rubbish...as was pretty much everything they did from the 80's onwards.....so don't be worrying about that, I'm not exactly Al Murray when it comes to Queen
yeah, the Vorderman will be very modestly sprinkled into the mix.
My 'inner Queen fan' is only mildly partial to some of the early stuff, and finds the new collaboration with Paul Rodgers rather erm, rubbish...as was pretty much everything they did from the 80's onwards.....so don't be worrying about that, I'm not exactly Al Murray when it comes to Queen
"Queen, beautiful British band..."
This all reminds me, in my list I would have to add:
11. Must not question or mock me on my unorthodox taste in celebrity crushes. She should be happy that I have no particularly fondness for Vorderman.
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
yeah, the Vorderman will be very modestly sprinkled into the mix.
My 'inner Queen fan' is only mildly partial to some of the early stuff, and finds the new collaboration with Paul Rodgers rather erm, rubbish...as was pretty much everything they did from the 80's onwards.....so don't be worrying about that, I'm not exactly Al Murray when it comes to Queen
The 2 Jamies can't even follow directions. This thread is about what WOMEN want. :rolleyes:
I am sure following directions is on the list.
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
The 2 Jamies can't even follow directions. This thread is about what WOMEN want. :rolleyes:
I am sure following directions is on the list.
Yeah, but our digression and reversal of the theme of the thread is simply a witty satire on the impossibility of any man ever addressing all or even a majority of the items on that list. Myself and Jamie are the everyman, and as such we aren't even capable of sticking to the topic of discussion, never mind being a perfect man
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
Yeah, but our digression and reversal of the theme of the thread is simply a witty satire on the impossibility of any man ever addressing all or even a majority of the items on that list. Myself and Jamie are the everyman, and as such we aren't even capable of sticking to the topic of discussion, never mind being a perfect man
speak for yourself dude
I'm hitting most of those babies outta the park ...except the plaid wearing...obviously:D
speak for yourself dude
I'm hitting most of those babies outta the park ...except the plaid wearing...obviously:D
*whispers* duuuuude, you're supposed to be backing me up here, what sort of bloke are you? Solidarity Jamie, that's the key!
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
This all reminds me, in my list I would have to add:
11. Must not question or mock me on my unorthodox taste in celebrity crushes. She should be happy that I have no particularly fondness for Vorderman.
and my list would contain
*must be willing to accept my occassional fondness for late night 'nonsense' snacks, i.e 'white stilton with apricot slices, wrapped loosely in a luncheon meat parcel'.
*must be willing to accept my occassional fondness for late night 'nonsense' snacks, i.e 'white stilton with apricot slices, wrapped loosely in a luncheon meat parcel'.
:eek:
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
Comments
Wembley 18/06/07
If there was a reason, it was you.
O2 Arena 18/09/09
20 is such a great age.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You will learn padawan
Wembley 18/06/07
If there was a reason, it was you.
O2 Arena 18/09/09
Run Jeremy, as fast and far as your legs will carry you...
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In fairness, I actively seem to encourage in women the opportunity to take flight with me, metaphorically speaking, only to cripple my wings at the first opportunity
I'm like a kid who keeps sticking his finger in the plug socket because he knows that one day he's going to light one hell of a bulb
Still, I shall always keep in mind what the great and learned Snoop said, "hoez n' tricks"... I am always mindful of that :cool:
It is a short list.
1. Snoop is not an authority.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I kid though. I would never use such terms to generalise about women, it would be hypocrisy. I love them, though they make it hard to; my eternal and elusive muse
I'll tell you something though, I can bet a guy's list would be a hell of a lot simpler and more realistic than this
1. Must like to get drunk and naked.
2. See #1
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1. Will not mind when I get drunk.
2. Will realise that her mood-swings are her body's fault and not mine.
3. Must like poetry and not accuse me of being pretentious for discussing it.
4. Will make an effort not to stay pissed at me for more than a day.
5. Must like beer.
6. Will buy beer if she drinks the last one.
7. Will allow me to shower attention without accusing me of being clingy and accept acts of chivalry as quaint and old-fashioned, not sexist and misogynistic.
8. Will not be offended by my sense of humour, it is a fundamental breach of trust.
9. Will pronounce houmous "hummus" not "hoomus".
10. Will not pronounce "pronunciation" as "pronOUnciation".
I'm a simple man.
Must be pretty
Must be pretty inside and outside.
Must not like music that you deem inappropriate
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
Actually no, I have been attracted to a person before, whom I initially wasn't physically attracted to at all, once I got to know them, so being pretty outside isn't necessarily one of my demands. The pronunciation stuff is FAR more important
What if Queen is her favorite band? What then, Jeremy, what then?
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dude, some of their earlier stuff was okay
You definitely contravene rule number 8 from my list. You'll never make a good wife for me Jamie :(
Finally some man has figured it out.
lol
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
number 8 ? I'm not offended at all by your sense of humour, in fact your soh is like an old friend...that I don't recognise at first
And as for making a good wife for you, well I haven't got into genetic experiments yet, but if I was I'd be making you a mixture of Carol Vorderman, Nigella and....Trixiecat
Also, go a little easy on the Vorderman and that sounds smashing
do they ever?
*runs fast and far away
yeah, the Vorderman will be very modestly sprinkled into the mix.
My 'inner Queen fan' is only mildly partial to some of the early stuff, and finds the new collaboration with Paul Rodgers rather erm, rubbish...as was pretty much everything they did from the 80's onwards.....so don't be worrying about that, I'm not exactly Al Murray when it comes to Queen
"Queen, beautiful British band..."
This all reminds me, in my list I would have to add:
11. Must not question or mock me on my unorthodox taste in celebrity crushes. She should be happy that I have no particularly fondness for Vorderman.
I am sure following directions is on the list.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
speak for yourself dude
I'm hitting most of those babies outta the park
and my list would contain
*must be willing to accept my occassional fondness for late night 'nonsense' snacks, i.e 'white stilton with apricot slices, wrapped loosely in a luncheon meat parcel'.