How to Trick a Christian

Strangest TribeStrangest Tribe Posts: 2,502
edited December 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
No harm or ill will meant by this thread, but I have done this on more than one occasion and it usually happens this time of year with curious outcomes.

Last week myself and an elderly friend (Frank) were traveling and pulled into a service station for gas and supplies. As we entered the parking lot, a transient young man and his dog had one of those cardboard signs proclaiming

"holiday traveler... needing food and money for holiday trip home."

As we pulled in to the pumps my friend says "looks like a healthy young man to me...he should have a job...cut his beard and hair...guess he thinks the world owes him"

I'm Thinking Chris McCandless so I go over and give the guy a few $$ and pet his dog, make small talk, (he's headed to Charleston, SC) and I'm located in the Midwest. So I wish him luck and head inside to pay.

When I get inside my friend says "you give him money?"

"Yeah, worried about his dog"

he says ..."yeah, you know he has to feed his dog"

I thought about it for a minute and said..."Frank...aren't you Baptist?"

"Yeah"

Well, I said ..."That young man could be Jesus and I think it's funny that I have no religious connections and here I go offering him a few bucks and you have already passed judgement on him...just sayin..."

Frank kinda grumbled and made that "matter-of -fact" facial expression and paid for his coke and hot dog.

I was two people behind Frank in line with my Coke and hotdog and had to also settle up on the gas.

When I was finished paying, I'm walking out to the truck and happen to notice Frank was over laughing and cutting up with the our transient young man.

So I wait for him to get back to the truck and I asked him.."did you give him any money?"

Frank said "Yeah $5...seemed like a good kid"
the Minions
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • Because we all need to be reminded that each of us has the opportunity to entertain angels unaware.
    The Daystar

    "But --you say that Dreams have no power here? Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar...Ask yourselves, all of you...What power would hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to Dream of Heaven?" Dream speaking to Lucifer as written by Neil Gaiman.
  • how could he be jesus? he died 2000 years ago.
  • in_hiding79in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    I'm atheist! I don't believe in God, or Jesus, or Allah, or Buda or anything that claims too be magic fairies that live in the sky. But, I will always give money to someone who holds a sign saying that they are homeless or will work for food. Even if it is just $1. I'm a huge SUCKER....
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • Like I said, I have no religious connections... Jesus=Santa=Easter Bunny to me

    I'm just amused at how these things work... you know...

    the power of suggestion vs. a person's belief system

    ... and the kicker is this is all coming from a complete agnostic.
    the Minions
  • christians are funny.
  • Jesus didn't stop and pay attention to everyone in need... he made a judgment call. Plenty of people never met him.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • in_hiding79in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    christians are funny.


    Yes they are...
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    Maybe Frank gives more money to charity than you'll ever dream of giving....?

    It's pretty hypocritical of you to judge him for allegedly judging.


    ...or maybe Frank is Jesus...
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • know1 wrote:
    Maybe Frank gives more money to charity than you'll ever dream of giving....?

    It's pretty hypocritical of you to judge him for allegedly judging.


    ...or maybe Frank is Jesus...

    Frank likes internet porn
    the Minions
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    I'm atheist! I don't believe in God, or Jesus, or Allah, or Buda or anything that claims too be magic fairies that live in the sky. But, I will always give money to someone who holds a sign saying that they are homeless or will work for food. Even if it is just $1. I'm a huge SUCKER....

    This is me:


    http://www.weddleton.com/CC/images/Homeless/HomlessNeedHelpS.jpg

    You can send all donations care of:

    Fill Mookie9999's Empty Pockets
    Penn Station 3rd Bench From The Left On The #2 Train Platform (Downtown)
    New York NY 10001.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    Frank likes internet porn

    Good for him. You're still a hypocrite.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    know1 wrote:
    Good for him. You're still a hypocrite.

    If he isn't religious how is he a hypocrite? It's the bible stating to not pass judgement, he might be perfectly fine with doing it!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • We need a "how to trick an atheist" thread. haha
    When life gives you lemons, throw them at somebody.
  • drivingrldrivingrl Posts: 1,448
    So true. This is how you trick all Christians. Because all Christians are mindless like that, and every one of them judge everyone else.

    Non-Christians, on the other hand, they never judge someone like that and are always open and chartible to everyone.
    drivingrl: "Will I ever get to meet Gwen Stefani?"
    kevinbeetle: "Yes. When her career washes up and her and Gavin move to Galveston, you will meet her at Hot Topic shopping for a Japanese cheerleader outfit.

    Next!"
  • intodeepintodeep Posts: 7,228
    how could he be jesus? he died 2000 years ago.
    The story says he came back once. Why not twice :D

    just playing devils advocate here
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  • Frank likes internet porn

    that just means he IS jesus.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Slip KidSlip Kid Posts: 1,175
    simply stating my thoughts here:

    Why is it that Christianity always get made fun of the most?

    It's ones choice to believe in something and have faith in something that is beyond the human life. Whether or not one believes this to be contrary shouldn't provoke jokes or any harmful ill will towards that individual.

    I know that it wasn't the posters intent to ridicule or even came up with the joke but it seems that's i'm reading more and more crap spewed out Christianity and I just wonder why? What makes it so laughable? Judaism, Muslim (i forget the name for it) and a whole plethora of religions don't get the same slack as Christianity does.

    I don't fully believe in it but I'm not going to sit here and make fun of it just because I don't. Truth is I could see myself believing in it. I just don't get all the hostility towards this religion
    I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
  • romybianromybian Posts: 1,644
    We need a "how to trick an atheist" thread. haha
    LOL
    I doubt that would work though.
    We don't really care.
    "The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
    I'm no dude! Dudette!
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    how could he be jesus? he died 2000 years ago.

    yeah, but the baptists are figuring he'll be back any down now to kick some homo/heathen ass.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Slip Kid wrote:
    simply stating my thoughts here:

    Why is it that Christianity always get made fun of the most?

    It's ones choice to believe in something and have faith in something that is beyond the human life. Whether or not one believes this to be contrary shouldn't provoke jokes or any harmful ill will towards that individual.

    I know that it wasn't the posters intent to ridicule or even came up with the joke but it seems that's i'm reading more and more crap spewed out Christianity and I just wonder why? What makes it so laughable? Judaism, Muslim (i forget the name for it) and a whole plethora of religions don't get the same slack as Christianity does.

    I don't fully believe in it but I'm not going to sit here and make fun of it just because I don't. Truth is I could see myself believing in it. I just don't get all the hostility towards this religion

    becos this is america and people deal more with the amusing foibles of christianity than any other religion. if i lived in iran i'd probly be making mohamed jokes all the time too. then i'd get my head chopped off.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    drivingrl wrote:
    So true. This is how you trick all Christians. Because all Christians are mindless like that, and every one of them judge everyone else.

    Non-Christians, on the other hand, they never judge someone like that and are always open and chartible to everyone.

    herein lies the problem with fervently devout christians... no sense of humor or irony :(
  • personally, I'm kinda pissed that gnosticism was done away with. that sounds like a good religion to me.
  • in_hiding79in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    mookie9999 wrote:
    This is me:


    http://www.weddleton.com/CC/images/Homeless/HomlessNeedHelpS.jpg

    You can send all donations care of:

    Fill Mookie9999's Empty Pockets
    Penn Station 3rd Bench From The Left On The #2 Train Platform (Downtown)
    New York NY 10001.

    Dammit, I guess I will have to send you a check!! lol
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • Slip Kid wrote:
    simply stating my thoughts here:

    Why is it that Christianity always get made fun of the most?

    It's ones choice to believe in something and have faith in something that is beyond the human life. Whether or not one believes this to be contrary shouldn't provoke jokes or any harmful ill will towards that individual.

    I know that it wasn't the posters intent to ridicule or even came up with the joke but it seems that's i'm reading more and more crap spewed out Christianity and I just wonder why? What makes it so laughable? Judaism, Muslim (i forget the name for it) and a whole plethora of religions don't get the same slack as Christianity does.

    I don't fully believe in it but I'm not going to sit here and make fun of it just because I don't. Truth is I could see myself believing in it. I just don't get all the hostility towards this religion


    Because at lot of vocal Christians act like their shit doesn't stink and try to push their beliefs down everyone's throat by getting legislation passed and telling everyone how to live.
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,685
    Because at lot of vocal Christians act like their shit doesn't stink and try to push their beliefs down everyone's throat by getting legislation passed and telling everyone how to live.
    If only it was so simply limited to a certain group of people, huh?
  • Because at lot of vocal Christians act like their shit doesn't stink and try to push their beliefs down everyone's throat by getting legislation passed and telling everyone how to live.
    Amen.
    9/7/98, 8/3/00, 9/4/00, 4/15/03, 7/1/03, 9/28/04, 9/29/04, 5/24/06, 5/25/06, 6/17/08, 6/22/08, 6/28/08, 6/30/08, 5/17/10, 10/15/13, 10/16/13.
  • DanimalDanimal Posts: 2,000
    Slip Kid wrote:
    simply stating my thoughts here:

    Why is it that Christianity always get made fun of the most?

    It's ones choice to believe in something and have faith in something that is beyond the human life. Whether or not one believes this to be contrary shouldn't provoke jokes or any harmful ill will towards that individual.

    I know that it wasn't the posters intent to ridicule or even came up with the joke but it seems that's i'm reading more and more crap spewed out Christianity and I just wonder why? What makes it so laughable? Judaism, Muslim (i forget the name for it) and a whole plethora of religions don't get the same slack as Christianity does.

    I don't fully believe in it but I'm not going to sit here and make fun of it just because I don't. Truth is I could see myself believing in it. I just don't get all the hostility towards this religion

    I will admit I make fun of Christianity and I am Christian. Not really a good Christian, but ya know....

    I just like to make fun of everything though. I just don't get when I make fun of other religions people crucify me. SEE SEE!!! I have sense of humor!

    Anyway... it seems when I make fun of other peoples religion people have the same reaction...HOW DARE YOU!??!!?! Give me an effn break.
    "I don't believe in PJ fans but I believe there is something, not too sure what." - Thoughts_Arrive


  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    Because at lot of vocal Christians act like their shit doesn't stink and try to push their beliefs down everyone's throat by getting legislation passed and telling everyone how to live.

    All legislation that is passed tells people how to live. It doesn't have to be based in Christianity.

    Pick your next lame justification for bashing....
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • Slip KidSlip Kid Posts: 1,175
    becos this is america and people deal more with the amusing foibles of christianity than any other religion. if i lived in iran i'd probly be making mohamed jokes all the time too. then i'd get my head chopped off.

    I know it's easy to attack but come on, there are plenty of religions that are in America (although I know this country was founded by Christians thus a majority are Christians) and if one makes fun of them it's like killing the president.

    I'm not advocating for us to make fun of any religion just so we're clear
    I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Slip Kid wrote:
    I know it's easy to attack but come on, there are plenty of religions that are in America (although I know this country was founded by Christians thus a majority are Christians) and if one makes fun of them it's like killing the president.

    I'm not advocating for us to make fun of any religion just so we're clear

    i advocate making fun of all religions. minorities are just more sensitive and can sue you if you get the wrong person. it's the plight of the WASP.
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