really nervous about the weekend

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

Nope... it wouldn't... you've deeper issues than that... solve the inner problems first and then you'll be ABLE to solve the outer ones... weight gain and acne are symptoms of depression.

I wasn't depressed when I gained weight. I was good. I was kicking ass at school, I just kicked ass in a tri, and I then kicked ass in half marathon. I just met my boyfriend...I wasn't depressed at all...I was probably the best I'd ever been!

small town beck

Heineken Helen wrote:

Nope... it wouldn't... you've deeper issues than that... solve the inner problems first and then you'll be ABLE to solve the outer ones... weight gain and acne are symptoms of depression.

They are all signs of depressions and the OP just doesn't want to deal with them and again we all end feeling like we have banged our heads against a brick wall. And six months from now she will be here with a new name and the same problems.. yet again we will try to help. Maybe if we just stopped trying???

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I miss my grad school friends. I *never* felt very right with these friends.

so why not contact your grad school friends... go out with them... or give me 5 reasons why you can't :rolleyes:

the wolf

Heineken Helen wrote:

so why not contact your grad school friends... go out with them... or give me 5 reasons why you can't :rolleyes:

oh shit. why Helen? why did you do that?

meme

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I just feel like I can't be depressed though because I was on the medication for depression the whole time...

That particular one may not have worked for you. Or perhaps you need help apart for drugs.

covered in bliss

The Champ wrote:

But it seems she's not 'really' interested in getting anything fixed. She's been posting the exact same things/issues for over 5 years from what I remember. When is enough enough?

just like an addict, she has to hit her personal bottom. hard to guess what that is...

small town beck

Heineken Helen wrote:

so why not contact your grad school friends... go out with them... or give me 5 reasons why you can't :rolleyes:

:eek:

Can of worms.. OPENED!!!

covered in bliss

Heineken Helen wrote:

so why not contact your grad school friends... go out with them... or give me 5 reasons why you can't :rolleyes:

they have changed
they live too far away
I'm embarassed about my weight
I'm single and they aren't
they don't understand me
i work too much
i don't have time

in_hiding79

acoustic guy wrote:

I say this with all the love in my heart...................
Please please please...........go out and get laid!
I am sure my wife will lend me to you if needed.
Really, no kidding around. You need it woman!!!

I bet a hundred bucks you are very attractive.
I bet your a hotty but b/c your so depressed you feel like shit.
PM me if needed LOL.....but really.......LOL:D:D

Horny ass.....;)

meme

covered in bliss wrote:

they have changed
they live too far away
I'm embarassed about my weight
I'm single and they aren't
they don't understand me
i work too much
i don't have time

small town beck

covered in bliss wrote:

they have changed
they live too far away
I'm embarassed about my weight
I'm single and they aren't
they don't understand me
i work too much
i don't have time

LOL

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I wasn't depressed when I gained weight. I was good. I was kicking ass at school, I just kicked ass in a tri, and I then kicked ass in half marathon. I just met my boyfriend...I wasn't depressed at all...I was probably the best I'd ever been!

if you say so... ya know GTD you can lie to us as much as you like but lying to yourself is doing no good.

GreenTeaDisease

the wolf wrote:

why not do both, it dont sound like your physical/medical problems are just going to go away any time real soon. the weight will take time, and im not sure about the medical issues here.

Well I can ask the doctor about a therapist and see if she thinks I need one. as it is I now have appointments with a general internist, a gyno, and I'm trying to get in with an endocrinologist...I'm really trying to not "make excuses"-I'm really trying, trust me-but I don't know if I can handle throwing a therapist into the whole mix. not just logistically, but I'm afraid of complicating things too much. like if I start getting treated for depression or something, then it's going to screw up figure out the other stuff...it's like when you are doing a scientific study you need to have a control. If I start screwing with too many things at once, I won't be able to identify the real problems and solutions.

the wolf wrote:

and if its not a attenion seeking thing, why did you even bother to post it here?

I don't know. I was lying in bed crying and I felt alone and didn't know whatelse to do. that is usually why I always post here. I sit alone in my office all day, so when I get like...I don't know scared maybe? and don't know what to do, I just post. I don't know how I formed the habit, it just happened. it's not attention seeking on my part, I don't really care if anyone even responds, but people always do so I just keep talking to them.

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

if you say so... ya know GTD you can lie to us as much as you like but lying to yourself is doing no good.

why do you think I'm lying?

I was in school in the fall of 2006 and I started gaining weight. by christmas I couldn't zipper my pants. it's true. I had a good group of friends and everything.

covered in bliss

Do you ever:

1. Guess at what normal is.

2. Have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

4. Judge yourself without mercy.

5. Have difficulty having fun.

6. Take yourself very seriously.

7. Have difficulty with intimate relationships.

8. Overreact to changes over which you have no control.

9. Constantly seek approval and affirmation.

10. Feel that you are different from other people.

11. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.

12. Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.

13. Have money dsyfunction, such as hiding it or being disorganized with it.

If you relate to lots of these, you are TEXTBOOK and you would benefit from help.

pineapplesandwaves

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I hate talking about myself, one of the reasons I don't want to go to therapy. I hate it, when people make me talk about myself, I start shaking. I don't even like job interviews for that reason. it takes all the strength I can muster to talk about myself.

You don't want to seek professional help, because it involves talking about yourself, but you'll come to the AET and start multiple threads about yourself, receiving the advice of a bunch of amateur therapists? Makes sense. People who truly hate talking about themselves, would never create the kinds of threads that do just that (talk about themselves).

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I started gaining weight. by christmas I couldn't zipper my pants.

This might be surprising to hear, but you're not the first (or only) person to suddenly find herself unable to zipper her pants due to weight gain.

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

my weight gain has pretty much destroyed my life though. I can't physically do half the things I used to be able to. I can't go places I used to be able to go because I can't dress apropriately. and mentally, I can't live with the lie it is projecting. It just happened not much more than a year ago, and I haven't figured out how to live in a completely different body yet. it affects everything, down to the way I have to sit. I'm very heavy even at my ideal weight (I always look about 30 lbs smaller than I am), so carrying around an extra 40-45 lbs has been brutal on me, even my feet hurt.

Lots of people carry extra weight, myself included, and that does not prevent me and others from living our lives. Stop the excuses. I don't buy it. You can still participate in life. Sure, you may not be in the shape you once were to be at the top of your game in sports and fitness, but you can still participate. Clearly, your issues are predominantly mental. You don't like the way you look and you don't want people to see you not at your best. I understand that. When I put on weight, I didn't want people seeing the "new" me, but you can't let it prevent you from living your life. You have to begin to accept yourself. It's really sad when people think that they're inferior due to their physical appearance. If you feel that way about yourself, your project those feelings to others.

the wolf

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

Well I can ask the doctor about a therapist and see if she thinks I need one. as it is I now have appointments with a general internist, a gyno, and I'm trying to get in with an endocrinologist...I'm really trying to not "make excuses"-I'm really trying, trust me-but I don't know if I can handle throwing a therapist into the whole mix. not just logistically, but I'm afraid of complicating things too much. like if I start getting treated for depression or something, then it's going to screw up figure out the other stuff...it's like when you are doing a scientific study you need to have a control. If I start screwing with too many things at once, I won't be able to identify the real problems and solutions.




I don't know. I was lying in bed crying and I felt alone and didn't know whatelse to do. that is usually why I always post here. I sit alone in my office all day, so when I get like...I don't know scared maybe? and don't know what to do, I just post. I don't know how I formed the habit, it just happened. it's not attention seeking on my part, I don't really care if anyone even responds, but people always do so I just keep talking to them.

okay! now we are getting somewhere.
ever thought if you didnt feel like crap all the time, maybe you could deal with the other physical things better?

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

so why not contact your grad school friends... go out with them... or give me 5 reasons why you can't :rolleyes:

haha well I live in boston, and they live in chicago, washington, DC, and san francisco...if you think that's an irrational excuse for not calling them up to hang out, then I don't know what to tell ya. I talk to them over phone and email sometimes, well at least my friend in chicago, but I can't really do much else. when I had to work in CA I went to visit everyone in san fran. whatelse can I do?

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

why do you think I'm lying?

I don't know if lying's the right word... and I'm not sure you even know you do it... but you twist the reality to suit whatever excuse you're giving at the time. Like one minute you've high self esteem... in the next post you can't go out cos you're so self conscious of your weight. That's just ONE example. Another example you cry for no reason... then the next post, it's not psychological it's physical. Are you in PHYSICAL pain? All the time?

GreenTeaDisease

the wolf wrote:

okay! now we are getting somewhere.
ever thought if you didnt feel like crap all the time, maybe you could deal with the other physical things better?

I guess it's a chicken and egg problem?

plus, I'm not quite sure how therapy works...I didn't understand it when I went before...I didn't know what i was supposed to be accomplishing or even what I was supposed to do.