really nervous about the weekend

GreenTeaDisease

suppafreak wrote:

Yes. It is a train wreck. I think its because GTD Is kind of a train wreck but has no desire to address what we are all seeing in a therapy session.... or 104 therapy sessions (a full year of twice weekly would do this woman wonders.)

but I've always been a super-stable person. I've always been the person other people depend on for stability and sanity. I'm not a train wreck person.

the wolf

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

ouch. I don't feel like I am such a horrible person :(.

does everyone really hate me this much? I really don't think I am so horrible...

i dont hate you. i dont think your a horrible person. i think you are in extreme denial of a major problem

look im sorry i came off like that. but its really frustrating to sit here and read all this.

you are depressed hon. face it, deal with it, and move on. i promise your life will be soooooooooo freaking much better if you go to therapy.
this is coming from somone who is bi-polar, and i have been on tons of different meds till they found the right med, and the right dosage.

and when i had to stop going to therapy the meds by themself did not help no where near as much.

im sorry about the previous post.

The Champ

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

ouch. I don't feel like I am such a horrible person :(.

does everyone really hate me this much? I really don't think I am so horrible...

I don't know if people are invested enough to actually 'hate' you, but i'm sure everyone certainly feels sorry for you and wish you help..

small town beck

....

GreenTeaDisease

The Champ wrote:

Man, she's loving all this attention. This is what happens when privileged kids get spoiled and over nurtured. I wonder how she'll respond when real life finally smacks her in the face. Maybe that'll do the trick..

I hate attention and I'm not privilaged, spoiled, OR overnurtured. none of those things apply to me at all...why would you even think that? why does everyone say I like attention? I don't understand that, I hate attention. If I "loed this attention" why would feel so unbelievably shitty right now?

I hate talking about myself, one of the reasons I don't want to go to therapy. I hate it, when people make me talk about myself, I start shaking. I don't even like job interviews for that reason. it takes all the strength I can muster to talk about myself.

GreenTeaDisease

small town beck wrote:

....

if you knew me, you would understand.

GreenTeaDisease

the wolf wrote:

i dont hate you. i dont think your a horrible person. i think you are in extreme denial of a major problem

look im sorry i came off like that. but its really frustrating to sit here and read all this.

you are depressed hon. face, deal with it, and move on. i promise your life will be soooooooooo freaking much better if you go to therapy.
this is coming from somone who is bi-polar, and i have been on tons of different meds till they found the right med, and the right dosage.

and when i had to stop going to therapy the meds by themself did not help no where near as much.

im sorry about the previous post.

wouldn't it just be better to solve my physical medical problems first? because I think that would make me feel better.

The Champ

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I hate attention and I'm not privilaged, spoiled, OR overnurtured. none of those things apply to me at all...why would you even think that?

Why would I think that? Because these are typically the ones who develop meaningless anxieties often referred to as 'luxury anxieties' which you rarely find in inner city neighborhoods where kids deal with real life situations. And I'm right, even though you don't agree..

Heineken Helen

covered in bliss wrote:

Just as a recovering alcoholic has to lose their drinking buddies, you might ahve to find some new friends.

Friends (people) treat you how you LET them treat you. The energy you give out is what you get back. It's all a big cliche... like sex in the city or the breakfast club. People in groups always take on certain roles... it's up to YOU to decide where you want to be. WHO you want to be.

from her other posts and even though she complains about them a lot, I get the impression her friends are very good to her... if it wasn't for them dragging her out, she'd probably never leave the house :( Anytime she DOES go out with them there's a thread here saying how she doesn't want to.

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

wouldn't it just be better to solve my physical medical problems first? because I think that would make me feel better.

Nope... it wouldn't... you've deeper issues than that... solve the inner problems first and then you'll be ABLE to solve the outer ones... weight gain and acne are symptoms of depression.

The Champ

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

wouldn't it just be better to solve my physical medical problems first? because I think that would make me feel better.

Okay, go with that..

The Champ

Heineken Helen wrote:

Nope... it wouldn't... you've deeper issues than that... solve the inner problems first and then you'll be ABLE to solve the outer ones... weight gain and acne are symptoms of depression.

Nah, she's not depressed..What are you a doctor HH ?

covered in bliss

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I hate attention and I'm not privilaged, spoiled, OR overnurtured. none of those things apply to me at all...why would you even think that? why does everyone say I like attention? I don't understand that, I hate attention. If I "loed this attention" why would feel so unbelievably shitty right now?

I hate talking about myself, one of the reasons I don't want to go to therapy. I hate it, when people make me talk about myself, I start shaking. I don't even like job interviews for that reason. it takes all the strength I can muster to talk about myself.

It's complicated. I know this because I've been there myself and I've been in therapy for a few months now. I really try to ignore threads like this but for some reason, I'm drawn to yours! Maybe its because I used to stick up for you when what's his name used to ride you BAD. ISIS ring a bell? or grape-whatever? Remember that? How many YEARS ago? Hmmmm???? Has ANYTHING improved since then?????

and champ-it's not that black and white. I remember GTD posting about her brother--- how she was compared to him and other things about her childhood. Parents do things with good intentions but the results can be damaging. The good news is, it can be fixed and life can get better.

small town beck

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

if you knew me, you would understand.

I don't know you.. only from on here when you implode and re invent yourself. You obviously have a LOT to deal with. A lot going on here but I don't think coming on here asking for advice AND constantly ignoring it is the help you need. You have to start doing what YOU want and not what others want you to do. You are seeking attention and that is a serious matter. You feel over looked somehow and yet feel you aren't worthy of anyone looking at??? That is VERY serious. Please go see someone.

the wolf

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

wouldn't it just be better to solve my physical medical problems first? because I think that would make me feel better.

why not do both, it dont sound like your physical/medical problems are just going to go away any time real soon. the weight will take time, and im not sure about the medical issues here.

so if we agree that it will take some time to take care of the physical/medical problems, why not go to therapy so your not feeling like shit while you are taking care of the physical and medical problems?

to us, it really sounds like you are just making excuses.

and if its not a attenion seeking thing, why did you even bother to post it here?

please, help me understand. answer these questions. and explain it to me like im a 3 year old so i can understand.

GreenTeaDisease

pineapplesandwaves wrote:

You are 30-years-old. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, you need to begin to accept yourself for who you are. You recognize that you have good qualities, yet you focus on your weight gain.

my weight gain has pretty much destroyed my life though. I can't physically do half the things I used to be able to. I can't go places I used to be able to go because I can't dress apropriately. and mentally, I can't live with the lie it is projecting. It just happened not much more than a year ago, and I haven't figured out how to live in a completely different body yet. it affects everything, down to the way I have to sit. I'm very heavy even at my ideal weight (I always look about 30 lbs smaller than I am), so carrying around an extra 40-45 lbs has been brutal on me, even my feet hurt.

meme

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

a martyr?
I hate having problems and difficulty and for a long long time I had absolutely no problems or difficulty-my health just went to hell in a hand basket in like the blink of an eye, the whole thing is really catching up with me.

honestly, how can I get "help" when I don't even know and can't even describe what the hell I am experiencing?

Again, a sign of depression.
If you just could lay off your "I know it all" attitude and humbly made an appointment with a therapist or a psychiatrist... it would do you so much good.

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

from her other posts and even though she complains about them a lot, I get the impression her friends are very good to her... if it wasn't for them dragging her out, she'd probably never leave the house :( Anytime she DOES go out with them there's a thread here saying how she doesn't want to.

I miss my grad school friends. I *never* felt very right with these friends.

The Champ

covered in bliss wrote:

and champ-it's not that black and white. I remember GTD posting about her brother--- how she was compared to him and other things about her childhood. Parents do things with good intentions but the results can be damaging. The good news is, it can be fixed and life can get better.

But it seems she's not 'really' interested in getting anything fixed. She's been posting the exact same things/issues for over 5 years from what I remember. When is enough enough?

Heineken Helen

The Champ wrote:

Nah, she's not depressed..What are you a doctor HH ?

Are YOU? so what is she?