they have changed
they live too far away
I'm embarassed about my weight
I'm single and they aren't
they don't understand me
i work too much
i don't have time
I wasn't depressed when I gained weight. I was good. I was kicking ass at school, I just kicked ass in a tri, and I then kicked ass in half marathon. I just met my boyfriend...I wasn't depressed at all...I was probably the best I'd ever been!
if you say so... ya know GTD you can lie to us as much as you like but lying to yourself is doing no good.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
why not do both, it dont sound like your physical/medical problems are just going to go away any time real soon. the weight will take time, and im not sure about the medical issues here.
Well I can ask the doctor about a therapist and see if she thinks I need one. as it is I now have appointments with a general internist, a gyno, and I'm trying to get in with an endocrinologist...I'm really trying to not "make excuses"-I'm really trying, trust me-but I don't know if I can handle throwing a therapist into the whole mix. not just logistically, but I'm afraid of complicating things too much. like if I start getting treated for depression or something, then it's going to screw up figure out the other stuff...it's like when you are doing a scientific study you need to have a control. If I start screwing with too many things at once, I won't be able to identify the real problems and solutions.
and if its not a attenion seeking thing, why did you even bother to post it here?
I don't know. I was lying in bed crying and I felt alone and didn't know whatelse to do. that is usually why I always post here. I sit alone in my office all day, so when I get like...I don't know scared maybe? and don't know what to do, I just post. I don't know how I formed the habit, it just happened. it's not attention seeking on my part, I don't really care if anyone even responds, but people always do so I just keep talking to them.
if you say so... ya know GTD you can lie to us as much as you like but lying to yourself is doing no good.
why do you think I'm lying?
I was in school in the fall of 2006 and I started gaining weight. by christmas I couldn't zipper my pants. it's true. I had a good group of friends and everything.
I hate talking about myself, one of the reasons I don't want to go to therapy. I hate it, when people make me talk about myself, I start shaking. I don't even like job interviews for that reason. it takes all the strength I can muster to talk about myself.
You don't want to seek professional help, because it involves talking about yourself, but you'll come to the AET and start multiple threads about yourself, receiving the advice of a bunch of amateur therapists? Makes sense. People who truly hate talking about themselves, would never create the kinds of threads that do just that (talk about themselves).
my weight gain has pretty much destroyed my life though. I can't physically do half the things I used to be able to. I can't go places I used to be able to go because I can't dress apropriately. and mentally, I can't live with the lie it is projecting. It just happened not much more than a year ago, and I haven't figured out how to live in a completely different body yet. it affects everything, down to the way I have to sit. I'm very heavy even at my ideal weight (I always look about 30 lbs smaller than I am), so carrying around an extra 40-45 lbs has been brutal on me, even my feet hurt.
Lots of people carry extra weight, myself included, and that does not prevent me and others from living our lives. Stop the excuses. I don't buy it. You can still participate in life. Sure, you may not be in the shape you once were to be at the top of your game in sports and fitness, but you can still participate. Clearly, your issues are predominantly mental. You don't like the way you look and you don't want people to see you not at your best. I understand that. When I put on weight, I didn't want people seeing the "new" me, but you can't let it prevent you from living your life. You have to begin to accept yourself. It's really sad when people think that they're inferior due to their physical appearance. If you feel that way about yourself, your project those feelings to others.
No time to be void or save up on life. You got to spend it all.
Well I can ask the doctor about a therapist and see if she thinks I need one. as it is I now have appointments with a general internist, a gyno, and I'm trying to get in with an endocrinologist...I'm really trying to not "make excuses"-I'm really trying, trust me-but I don't know if I can handle throwing a therapist into the whole mix. not just logistically, but I'm afraid of complicating things too much. like if I start getting treated for depression or something, then it's going to screw up figure out the other stuff...it's like when you are doing a scientific study you need to have a control. If I start screwing with too many things at once, I won't be able to identify the real problems and solutions.
I don't know. I was lying in bed crying and I felt alone and didn't know whatelse to do. that is usually why I always post here. I sit alone in my office all day, so when I get like...I don't know scared maybe? and don't know what to do, I just post. I don't know how I formed the habit, it just happened. it's not attention seeking on my part, I don't really care if anyone even responds, but people always do so I just keep talking to them.
okay! now we are getting somewhere.
ever thought if you didnt feel like crap all the time, maybe you could deal with the other physical things better?
Peace, Love.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
so why not contact your grad school friends... go out with them... or give me 5 reasons why you can't :rolleyes:
haha well I live in boston, and they live in chicago, washington, DC, and san francisco...if you think that's an irrational excuse for not calling them up to hang out, then I don't know what to tell ya. I talk to them over phone and email sometimes, well at least my friend in chicago, but I can't really do much else. when I had to work in CA I went to visit everyone in san fran. whatelse can I do?
I don't know if lying's the right word... and I'm not sure you even know you do it... but you twist the reality to suit whatever excuse you're giving at the time. Like one minute you've high self esteem... in the next post you can't go out cos you're so self conscious of your weight. That's just ONE example. Another example you cry for no reason... then the next post, it's not psychological it's physical. Are you in PHYSICAL pain? All the time?
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
okay! now we are getting somewhere.
ever thought if you didnt feel like crap all the time, maybe you could deal with the other physical things better?
I guess it's a chicken and egg problem?
plus, I'm not quite sure how therapy works...I didn't understand it when I went before...I didn't know what i was supposed to be accomplishing or even what I was supposed to do.
plus, I'm not quite sure how therapy works...I didn't understand it when I went before...I didn't know what i was supposed to be accomplishing or even what I was supposed to do.
So go and find out . I've been before (long story) and it helped sooo much... I think that definitely started my ascent.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
I don't know if lying's the right word... and I'm not sure you even know you do it... but you twist the reality to suit whatever excuse you're giving at the time. Like one minute you've high self esteem... in the next post you can't go out cos you're so self conscious of your weight. That's just ONE example. Another example you cry for no reason... then the next post, it's not psychological it's physical. Are you in PHYSICAL pain? All the time?
the crying all the time is physical- I think it has to do with screwing around with medications for my hormonal problems. it is just very recent (with the exception of my menstrual problems that make me cry, but I'm well aware of the cause of that).
and I just don't feel like I have low self esteem. I don't feel self-conscious about my weight, I feel uncomfortable with my weight. it's new, it feels weird. clothes don't sit right. it makes me very irritable and stuff.
plus, I'm not quite sure how therapy works...I didn't understand it when I went before...I didn't know what i was supposed to be accomplishing or even what I was supposed to do.
just let the therapist be the guide, follow him or her, i swear you figure out shit that has been bothering you that you didnt even realize was bothering you, then you deal with it, and guess what, all of sudden that weight of the world you carry around with you on your back, gets a little bit lighter. which makes you feel amazing. then you move on to the next thing, and so on.
Peace, Love.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
the crying all the time is physical- I think it has to do with screwing around with medications for my hormonal problems. it is just very recent (with the exception of my menstrual problems that make me cry, but I'm well aware of the cause of that).
and I just don't feel like I have low self esteem. I don't feel self-conscious about my weight, I feel uncomfortable with my weight. it's new, it feels weird. clothes don't sit right. it makes me very irritable and stuff.
Ok then :cool:
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
gtd you are an addict without an addiction....you have an excuse or rationalization for everything....until you realize you are powerless over many aspects of your life and accept you need help you will continue in this cycle....i really hope you can find someone to help you through this....
2. Have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.
yes
3. Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
no
4. Judge yourself without mercy.
sometimes
5. Have difficulty having fun.
not really
6. Take yourself very seriously.
I don't think so
7. Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
no
8. Overreact to changes over which you have no control.
I don't consider it "overreacting" but no, I don't like not have control
9. Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
hmm not constantly. not really.
10. Feel that you are different from other people.
yes
11. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
hmm no I am usually normally responsible
12. Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.
yes
13. Have money dsyfunction, such as hiding it or being disorganized with it.
hmm no...I am somewhat disorganized with it, but not to any extremes.
If you relate to lots of these, you are TEXTBOOK and you would benefit from help.
wait...textbook what?
:eek: You ARE joking... first of all change the answer to number 3... and then read the others again. You're taking the piss out of all of us... and it's not funny anymore!
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
:eek: You ARE joking... first of all change the answer to number 3... and then read the others again. You're taking the piss out of all of us... and it's not funny anymore!
I'M NOT LYING!!!
why on earth do you think I am so dishonest? Everyone I know would tell you I am brutally honest, I live for the truth. I've never lied to anyone. I lay everything right out there.
I wish I could just go away somewhere, alone, and spend the whole (indeterminate length of) time exercising, exercising more, breathing fresh cool air, exercising more, eating raw vegetables, drinking gallons of water, and getting facials. and coming back as my old self.
there are many health spa resorts out there...especially around arizona.
This is ridiculous.
I am not going to read anything else you post.
As someone else said, good luck being miserable for the rest of your life.
I'm not even that miserable :(
I really don't get why what I am saying is so wrong. I don't get it. if I piss you off so much then fine don't read me. I don't know what to say. as I said, I don't know what makes me so horrible.
everyone's gonna say it's an "excuse" but I don't have the money to do anything like that.
im with ya on this one, thats not an excuse, ive been there and that place is fucking expensive. the only reason i went was because my wife, well, when i was married, she won a stay there.
it was cool though.
Peace, Love.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
this is all quite unfortunate. some people have no means of getting healthy. i just finished up a project here at work about world hunger, was a great window of perspective. some don't know what they got till it's gone, and some aren't happy no matter what.
folks, this has been going on for years, under different names. perhaps the best way to help is to just let her be. life's too short to waste on those who don't want to listen.
why on earth do you think I am so dishonest? Everyone I know would tell you I am brutally honest, I live for the truth. I've never lied to anyone. I lay everything right out there.
this is all quite unfortunate. some people have no means of getting healthy. i just finished up a project here at work about world hunger, was a great window of perspective. some don't know what they got till it's gone, and some aren't happy no matter what.
folks, this has been going on for years, under different names. perhaps the best way to help is to just let her be. life's too short to waste on those who don't want to listen.
Wise words from the ever wise Chiqui
Soon enough everyone tires of flogging the dead horse.
Comments
LOL
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Well I can ask the doctor about a therapist and see if she thinks I need one. as it is I now have appointments with a general internist, a gyno, and I'm trying to get in with an endocrinologist...I'm really trying to not "make excuses"-I'm really trying, trust me-but I don't know if I can handle throwing a therapist into the whole mix. not just logistically, but I'm afraid of complicating things too much. like if I start getting treated for depression or something, then it's going to screw up figure out the other stuff...it's like when you are doing a scientific study you need to have a control. If I start screwing with too many things at once, I won't be able to identify the real problems and solutions.
I don't know. I was lying in bed crying and I felt alone and didn't know whatelse to do. that is usually why I always post here. I sit alone in my office all day, so when I get like...I don't know scared maybe? and don't know what to do, I just post. I don't know how I formed the habit, it just happened. it's not attention seeking on my part, I don't really care if anyone even responds, but people always do so I just keep talking to them.
why do you think I'm lying?
I was in school in the fall of 2006 and I started gaining weight. by christmas I couldn't zipper my pants. it's true. I had a good group of friends and everything.
1. Guess at what normal is.
2. Have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.
3. Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4. Judge yourself without mercy.
5. Have difficulty having fun.
6. Take yourself very seriously.
7. Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
8. Overreact to changes over which you have no control.
9. Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
10. Feel that you are different from other people.
11. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
12. Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.
13. Have money dsyfunction, such as hiding it or being disorganized with it.
If you relate to lots of these, you are TEXTBOOK and you would benefit from help.
This might be surprising to hear, but you're not the first (or only) person to suddenly find herself unable to zipper her pants due to weight gain.
Lots of people carry extra weight, myself included, and that does not prevent me and others from living our lives. Stop the excuses. I don't buy it. You can still participate in life. Sure, you may not be in the shape you once were to be at the top of your game in sports and fitness, but you can still participate. Clearly, your issues are predominantly mental. You don't like the way you look and you don't want people to see you not at your best. I understand that. When I put on weight, I didn't want people seeing the "new" me, but you can't let it prevent you from living your life. You have to begin to accept yourself. It's really sad when people think that they're inferior due to their physical appearance. If you feel that way about yourself, your project those feelings to others.
okay! now we are getting somewhere.
ever thought if you didnt feel like crap all the time, maybe you could deal with the other physical things better?
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
haha well I live in boston, and they live in chicago, washington, DC, and san francisco...if you think that's an irrational excuse for not calling them up to hang out, then I don't know what to tell ya. I talk to them over phone and email sometimes, well at least my friend in chicago, but I can't really do much else. when I had to work in CA I went to visit everyone in san fran. whatelse can I do?
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
I guess it's a chicken and egg problem?
plus, I'm not quite sure how therapy works...I didn't understand it when I went before...I didn't know what i was supposed to be accomplishing or even what I was supposed to do.
Nope, it's not! We've all told ya which comes first.
So go and find out
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
the crying all the time is physical- I think it has to do with screwing around with medications for my hormonal problems. it is just very recent (with the exception of my menstrual problems that make me cry, but I'm well aware of the cause of that).
and I just don't feel like I have low self esteem. I don't feel self-conscious about my weight, I feel uncomfortable with my weight. it's new, it feels weird. clothes don't sit right. it makes me very irritable and stuff.
just let the therapist be the guide, follow him or her, i swear you figure out shit that has been bothering you that you didnt even realize was bothering you, then you deal with it, and guess what, all of sudden that weight of the world you carry around with you on your back, gets a little bit lighter. which makes you feel amazing. then you move on to the next thing, and so on.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
1. Guess at what normal is.
no
2. Have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.
yes
3. Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
no
4. Judge yourself without mercy.
sometimes
5. Have difficulty having fun.
not really
6. Take yourself very seriously.
I don't think so
7. Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
no
8. Overreact to changes over which you have no control.
I don't consider it "overreacting" but no, I don't like not have control
9. Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
hmm not constantly. not really.
10. Feel that you are different from other people.
yes
11. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
hmm no I am usually normally responsible
12. Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.
yes
13. Have money dsyfunction, such as hiding it or being disorganized with it.
hmm no...I am somewhat disorganized with it, but not to any extremes.
If you relate to lots of these, you are TEXTBOOK and you would benefit from help.
wait...textbook what?
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
sorry helen, I don't know what else to tell ya, I am telling the truth. I just don't feel like I suffer from low self esteem. I just don't.
I'M NOT LYING!!!
why on earth do you think I am so dishonest? Everyone I know would tell you I am brutally honest, I live for the truth. I've never lied to anyone. I lay everything right out there.
I am not going to read anything else you post.
As someone else said, good luck being miserable for the rest of your life.
there are many health spa resorts out there...especially around arizona.
research places like this: http://www.canyonranch.com/
I'm not even that miserable :(
I really don't get why what I am saying is so wrong. I don't get it. if I piss you off so much then fine don't read me. I don't know what to say. as I said, I don't know what makes me so horrible.
everyone's gonna say it's an "excuse" but I don't have the money to do anything like that.
im with ya on this one, thats not an excuse, ive been there and that place is fucking expensive. the only reason i went was because my wife, well, when i was married, she won a stay there.
it was cool though.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
folks, this has been going on for years, under different names. perhaps the best way to help is to just let her be. life's too short to waste on those who don't want to listen.
start saving a little bit here and there...and maybe it can be a goal?
i think there's a resort in Lenox? check for specials.
You're a sink!
Of course you're not lying!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you're in DENIAL!
Wise words from the ever wise Chiqui
Soon enough everyone tires of flogging the dead horse.