why can't guys just be friends with girls??

Jeanie

answers are fatal wrote:

why are they always looking for a "hook-up" or a relationship? what happenened to just being friends?

I have several really close male friends, no hook ups or relationships involved.

We're not "just friends", we're great friends, really great friends that have spent a lot of time together and have managed to negotiate our friendship through all kinds of things including one or both of us getting partners.

I think perhaps it's much harder when you're younger. It's usually all about the sex then.

Gee, my Gran had 3 or 4 really close male friends when she died. Younger than her too. I dunno, after a while some people just realize that it doesn't matter what gender you are or colour or shape or size or ability. Friendship is able to cross all kinds of "barriers".

chadwick

reversedarwinism wrote:

I used to be able to be friends with obese girls, no prob. I also could be just friends with hot girls that I'd already slept with and that part was over. I couldn't be friends with girls that were thin but ugly, cause they always thought they had a chance. Now, I can be friends with any girl hot or not, cause I've got an amazing woman that I wouldn't betray for anyone in the world.

and what about when a woman says she can be friends with cool dudes but not jerk-offs who judge friendship on looks?? nicely done sir

failedpersephone

reversedarwinism wrote:

I used to be able to be friends with obese girls, no prob. I also could be just friends with hot girls that I'd already slept with and that part was over. I couldn't be friends with girls that were thin but ugly, cause they always thought they had a chance. Now, I can be friends with any girl hot or not, cause I've got an amazing woman that I wouldn't betray for anyone in the world.

hmmn, then you and I couldn't be friends.

because male or female I can't possibly befriend a person who would treat sex as some visual-based conquest.

besides, what makes you think that a chance with you is such a great move for "da ladies" :rolleyes:

Jeanie

failedpersephone wrote:

...besides, what makes you think that a chance with you is such a great move for "da ladies"

aaw c'mon! Didn't all that fancy talk make you hot in your panties? :rolleyes: That's all us girls are waiting for isn't it? To be nicely defined by our physical attributes?

reversedarwinism

failedpersephone wrote:

hmmn, then you and I couldn't be friends.

because male or female I can't possibly befriend a person who would treat sex as some visual-based conquest.

besides, what makes you think that a chance with you is such a great move for "da ladies" :rolleyes:

chadwick wrote:

and what about when a woman says she can be friends with cool dudes but not jerk-offs who judge friendship on looks?? nicely done sir

I was just speaking from my personal experience. I certainly don't pick friends on looks, I did try to be friends with some girls that were not attactive, but yet fit. And the outcome was as mentioned before and it made me feel uncomfortable. I am a nice guy and I don't like to reject anyone. Now though, I feel comfortable with anyone and that comes from being completely unavailable.

acoustic guy

chadwick wrote:

Pammy,

many on here talk alot of bullshit..
don't sweat it..

dudes and dolls can be bestest of friends no questions asked..
i wonder if this thread will turn into like the one that was locked up a few days back?

Pammy?

You are such a dork.
Man oh man.

reversedarwinism

Jeanie wrote:

aaw c'mon! Didn't all that fancy talk make you hot in your panties? :rolleyes: That's all us girls are waiting for isn't it? To be nicely defined by our physical attributes?

I'll add that I can think of times when a chick that would be considered by most as "hot" was my friend, but there just wasn't an attraction. Sometimes its just like that, totally friendly.

Jeanie

reversedarwinism wrote:

I'll add that I can think of times when a chick that would be considered by most as "hot" was my friend, but there just wasn't an attraction. Sometimes its just like that, totally friendly.

Dude, you don't gotta justify your friendships to me, I don't give a shit, you gotta do it how it works for you.

I just think it's interesting that you seem to be defining people here (in terms of friendship) based on how they look. Kinda like that "I'm not racist I have **insert ethnic group here** friends". You understand what I'm saying? Not saying that's how you are, just that's how it reads.

Man I think all my friends, male and female, are good looking, incredibly sexy people, because I love and appreciate who they are and they come in all shapes and sizes and colours and varieties. I'm just not wanting to hump the leg of all of em. Just like some people that others rave about as being gorgeous do nothing for me because I'm just not seeing their inner beauty.

You're right though, friendships and attractions are all based on chemical reactions to each other anyway.

mdigenakis

How come when i have a girlfriend the number of gorgeous women who want to be my "close" friends increase? Do i reek of tamed male sweat or something?

catch22

fanch75 wrote:

Yup, and every one of them are waiting/hoping for you to get tired of your husband or to get into an argument with him and you (in your hour of need) run to one of these guy buddies for help, leading to drinking, leading to some Snoop Dogg action.

exactly.

GraySaturday

catch22 wrote:

exactly.

I'll remember not to take marital woes to you guys!

catch22

answers are fatal wrote:

haha no i haven't responded to this thread at all since it was started. i just sat back and read everyone's responses, it was really entertaining. But, i should probably explain myself to why i made this thread. two nights ago i got back with my boyfriend, and i told the two guys that liked me what happened, and i can only talk to them if they will accept me as a friend and nothing more. but they insisted on telling me that they fell inlove with me and all this nonsence. anyways.... it turns out i made two guys cry in one night, it was epic. so it turns out that i had to stay up all night with one of the guys on the phone, because he was drinking his problems away. so thats when the question came to mind, what is wrong with guys and girls just being friends and nothing more.

and i appreciated everyones responses.

yeah, it's got to be really hard for you, what with having all those guys falling in love with you and having to break their hearts. it's such an inconvenience for YOU.

catch22

GraySaturday wrote:

I'll remember not to take marital woes to you guys!

that's probably wise

not that guys are sitting round waiting for you or inhiding or whoever to become single, but if the opportunity opens up, they're going to take it.

GraySaturday

catch22 wrote:

that's probably wise

not that guys are sitting round waiting for you to become single, but if the opportunity opens up, they're going to take it.

ah, it would be a confidence booster if they were though.. haha..

reversedarwinism

Jeanie wrote:

Dude, you don't gotta justify your friendships to me, I don't give a shit, you gotta do it how it works for you.

I just think it's interesting that you seem to be defining people here (in terms of friendship) based on how they look. Kinda like that "I'm not racist I have **insert ethnic group here** friends". You understand what I'm saying? Not saying that's how you are, just that's how it reads.

Man I think all my friends, male and female, are good looking, incredibly sexy people, because I love and appreciate who they are and they come in all shapes and sizes and colours and varieties. I'm just not wanting to hump the leg of all of em. Just like some people that others rave about as being gorgeous do nothing for me because I'm just not seeing their inner beauty.

You're right though, friendships and attractions are all based on chemical reactions to each other anyway.

This board can be like a sounding board, ya know? I was just answering the question so I broke it down into the experiences the question made me think about. I seriosly don't give a shit what anyone/ anywhere on the internet thinks. I am shallow when it comes to girls' looks, but that doesn't seem out of the ordinary.

wolfbear

I haven't read this whole thread and I'm not going to. I know men can be friends with women and women with men. Maybe that is the distinction, men vs boys and women vs girls. One of my best friends ever was male. I miss him every day. :(

fanch75

in_hiding79 wrote:

There isn't going to be a problem!! I think some of you guys are being crazy. You honestly think that three of my male friends who are not married are waiting for something to happen to me and my husband so they can get in my pants?! That is going too be a very long WAIT!!

so totally NOT TRUE!!

I wouldn't call it "waiting." I'm sure they enjoy your company. You're just more "on the backburner" while they go about their other activities. They're not losing anything. Plus they get to feel good about themselves hanging out with you.

Let me axe you this - do they have any "unattractive" female friends that they hang out with or talk to?

fanch75

chadwick wrote:

Pammy,

many on here talk alot of bullshit..
don't sweat it..

dudes and dolls can be bestest of friends no questions asked..
i wonder if this thread will turn into like the one that was locked up a few days back?

Exhibit 1 of single dude being nice, putting "Pammy" on the backburner, hoping for some Snoop Dogg action in her hour of need.

pjhawks

wolfbear wrote:

I haven't read this whole thread and I'm not going to. I know men can be friends with women and women with men. Maybe that is the distinction, men vs boys and women vs girls. One of my best friends ever was male. I miss him every day. :(

maybe so but he either had thoughts of sleeping with at some point or was gay - just the facts.

chadwick

fanch75 wrote:

Exhibit 1 of single dude being nice, putting "Pammy" on the backburner, hoping for some Snoop Dogg action in her hour of need.

false and ignorant

have a nice day