A bird with arms

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Comments

  • South of SeattleSouth of Seattle Posts: 10,724
    cory wrote:
    A silencer requires threading the inside of the barrel, buying the attachment itself, and answering a LOT of questions as to why I would want to modify my gun like that.

    That's why I threw in the pillow idea ;)

    BTW thanks to the rain the last few days(surprise), the Condor Omelette has half washed off my hood.
    NERDS!
  • Human TideHuman Tide Posts: 327
    I need to know how this one ends....I'm hooked.
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    Human Tide wrote:
    I need to know how this one ends....I'm hooked.

    Me too!! It's better than Bold & The Beautiful!!! :D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • corycory Posts: 736
    Oh my God yall........I get so tired of coming back here with no news, but I've been too busy the past couple of nights to hunt for the devil's masked creation.

    As it turns out, my trap hasn't been getting sprung because it was squirrels taking the food, and not the racoon. So, their lightweight asses weren't setting the trap. I feel like a complete dick face. Shut up Lou:)

    Anyway, my only option is to pay someone to do it. I swear after he's caught, I will have pictures made of me beside him in the cage. I may hang my nuts out of my pants just out of his reach. I probably couldn't post that on here, but if he got caught, it may be worth temporary banishment.

    I'll try one more day to get a clean shot on him. If not, Thursday will be the day I give up.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,464
    cory.....

    you are a funny fucking guy.....

    one of the few here who consistently cracks me up.........
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    cory wrote:
    Oh my God yall........I get so tired of coming back here with no news, but I've been too busy the past couple of nights to hunt for the devil's masked creation.

    As it turns out, my trap hasn't been getting sprung because it was squirrels taking the food, and not the raccoon. So, their lightweight asses weren't setting the trap. I feel like a complete dick face. Shut up Lou:)

    Anyway, my only option is to pay someone to do it. I swear after he's caught, I will have pictures made of me beside him in the cage. I may hang my nuts out of my pants just out of his reach. I probably couldn't post that on here, but if he got caught, it may be worth temporary banishment.

    I'll try one more day to get a clean shot on him. If not, Thursday will be the day I give up.

    Man, I cannot believe the twists and turns of this story!! :rolleyes:
    You gotta make yourself a coon skin hat with his mangy carcass!!
    Good luck!!! Oh and I don't recommend the plan with your nuts! Frankly this sounds like the smartest, quickest, meanest raccoon on the planet. No point losing the family jewels to him as well as your dignity! ;):D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,464
    cory wrote:
    Oh my God yall........I get so tired of coming back here with no news, but I've been too busy the past couple of nights to hunt for the devil's masked creation.

    As it turns out, my trap hasn't been getting sprung because it was squirrels taking the food, and not the racoon. So, their lightweight asses weren't setting the trap. I feel like a complete dick face. Shut up Lou:)

    Anyway, my only option is to pay someone to do it. I swear after he's caught, I will have pictures made of me beside him in the cage. I may hang my nuts out of my pants just out of his reach. I probably couldn't post that on here, but if he got caught, it may be worth temporary banishment.

    I'll try one more day to get a clean shot on him. If not, Thursday will be the day I give up.
    personally....

    before this is all over....

    i think the racoon is gonna send you a picture of his NUTS.....

    hehehehehe...........
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    personally....

    before this is all over....

    i think the racoon is gonna send you a picture of his NUTS.....

    hehehehehe...........


    LMAO!! :D Now why doesn't that idea surprise me? ;)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • corycory Posts: 736
    I keep waiting to come home from work one day, walk in the kitchen, and see the racoon sitting at my table eating some Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup and then asking me how my day was.

    I would love to able to say "It was a great day. I looked at some houses, typed up some reports, ran over a racoon on Highway 412...I hope it was somebody you knew, and ummmmm, ohh yeah, I shot a racoon in the face who was sitting at my table eating soup."
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    cory wrote:
    I keep waiting to come home from work one day, walk in the kitchen, and see the racoon sitting at my table eating some Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup and then asking me how my day was.

    I would love to able to say "It was a great day. I looked at some houses, typed up some reports, ran over a racoon on Highway 412...I hope it was somebody you knew, and ummmmm, ohh yeah, I shot a racoon in the face who was sitting at my table eating soup."


    Listen cory, if it's come down to this, you supporting the mongrel, then he can bloody well earn his keep!! I'd be sitting down and asking where my soup was and don't take none of that usual shit, lay down the law. You're providing the roof and the sustenance, he needs to have dinner waiting for you, on the table when you get home!! :D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    Pearl Jam will tour the South before this Racoon is caught

    maybe NYPJ1 could come over and try to pummel the coon with his crutches?

    or AmentsChick could come over and step on his balls?




    just trying to think outside the box here
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    This thread made my day.

    My house is for sale, so I have been working pretty much full time for the past two weeks to make it shiny, spotless, and inviting inside and out.
    I have been hearing noises (yeah... voices in my heeeeaaad...) at night lately, like someone moving a heavy dresser in the attic.

    And this morning, the confirmation, an enormous pile of shit on the roof over the porch just outside my bedroom window.

    Assholes.

    So I have a vested interest in how this goes cory.
    I'll pay you the total depreciation of your house to kill my fucker if you succeed.
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    meme wrote:
    This thread made my day.

    My house is for sale, so I have been working pretty much full time for the past two weeks to make it shiny, spotless, and inviting inside and out.
    I have been hearing noises (yeah... voices in my heeeeaaad...) at night lately, like someone moving a heavy dresser in the attic.

    And this morning, the confirmation, an enormous pile of shit on the roof over the porch just outside my bedroom window.

    Assholes.

    So I have a vested interest in how this goes cory.
    I'll pay you the total depreciation of your house to kill my fucker if you succeed.

    sorry about that


    i think it was the tacos
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    bostonlou wrote:
    sorry about that


    i think it was the tacos


    You come and clean that right out.
    I got cory on you.
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    What's the update cory?

    You managed to anihilate Rocky yet?

    Figure you must be having this Memorial Day weekend thingy that everyone's referring to. Anyhoo, hope this weekend, you manage to get him.

    Have a good one mate. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • corycory Posts: 736
    Jeanie wrote:
    What's the update cory?

    You managed to anihilate Rocky yet?

    Figure you must be having this Memorial Day weekend thingy that everyone's referring to. Anyhoo, hope this weekend, you manage to get him.

    Have a good one mate. :)


    I called a "pro" to come out and catch him. It's costs $100 for the first trip and then $30 per day until he's caught. His ass better get caught tonight is all I'm saying.

    I hope to have pics added with me and Satan soon.

    I find that to be a little expensive if it takes more than a few days. I haven't caught him in 2 weeks, so that's over $500 right there. All he did was put another trap in my attic.

    Be on the lookout for a missing raccoon trapper who has money owed to him;)

    Have a good weekend Jeanie.........ohhh, and the rest of you subscribers to my pain.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    cory wrote:
    I called a "pro" to come out and catch him. It's costs $100 for the first trip and then $30 per day until he's caught. His ass better get caught tonight is all I'm saying.

    I hope to have pics added with me and Satan soon.

    I find that to be a little expensive if it takes more than a few days. I haven't caught him in 2 weeks, so that's over $500 right there. All he did was put another trap in my attic.

    Be on the lookout for a missing raccoon trapper who has money owed to him;)

    Have a good weekend Jeanie.........ohhh, and the rest of you subscribers to my pain.


    driving home last night there was a raccoon in the road

    so i swerved and made a pancake out of him

    pulled over

    got out

    went up to him and whispered

    that's for cory
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    cory wrote:
    I called a "pro" to come out and catch him. It's costs $100 for the first trip and then $30 per day until he's caught. His ass better get caught tonight is all I'm saying.

    I hope to have pics added with me and Satan soon.

    I find that to be a little expensive if it takes more than a few days. I haven't caught him in 2 weeks, so that's over $500 right there. All he did was put another trap in my attic.

    Be on the lookout for a missing raccoon trapper who has money owed to him;)

    Have a good weekend Jeanie.........ohhh, and the rest of you subscribers to my pain.

    Hope your Memorial Day Weekend has been a blast cory. :)

    What's the update on our little furry friend?

    Has the damn trapper got him yet? :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • corycory Posts: 736
    Jeanie wrote:
    Hope your Memorial Day Weekend has been a blast cory. :)

    What's the update on our little furry friend?

    Has the damn trapper got him yet? :)


    Sad news everybody. I think the coon may have packed up and moved. The guy came over and set traps, I spent $160 for three days, and no sign of him. I don't hear him at night anymore. I haven't seen him in the yard or on the house in a few days. He doesn't come to the garage when I set food out. I'm really bummed about it because I wanted either catch him in the trap and set him in a full bathtub or shoot him. Either way, I was posting pics of him.

    I'm sorry it ended this way. If this were a movie, people would boo and throw shit at the screen. The good thing is, he's gone....for now.

    On the other hand, I did get to clean my garage this weekend. That completely sucked, but whatever.

    Thanks for tuning in everyone. I couldn't have imagined a shittier ending to this thread.

    Jeanie, I'll see you in other less crappy threads:)
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • ZanneZanne Posts: 899
    cory wrote:
    Sad news everybody. I think the coon may have packed up and moved. The guy came over and set traps, I spent $160 for three days, and no sign of him. I don't hear him at night anymore. I haven't seen him in the yard or on the house in a few days. He doesn't come to the garage when I set food out. I'm really bummed about it because I wanted either catch him in the trap and set him in a full bathtub or shoot him. Either way, I was posting pics of him.

    I'm sorry it ended this way. If this were a movie, people would boo and throw shit at the screen. The good thing is, he's gone....for now.

    On the other hand, I did get to clean my garage this weekend. That completely sucked, but whatever.

    Thanks for tuning in everyone. I couldn't have imagined a shittier ending to this thread.

    Jeanie, I'll see you in other less crappy threads:)

    Er, didn't you put antifreeze out for him? If he drank up some of that, he's prolly dead from kidney failure out in the sticks somewhere. He got the last laugh, tho.. You paid some asshole $160.00 to kill him whe he was already dead!
    Just me
  • corycory Posts: 736
    Zanne wrote:
    Er, didn't you put antifreeze out for him? If he drank up some of that, he's prolly dead from kidney failure out in the sticks somewhere. He got the last laugh, tho.. You paid some asshole $160.00 to kill him whe he was already dead!


    He never drank any of it. I'm telling you, this raccoon is a REAL Ahnimus;)
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    cory wrote:
    He never drank any of it. I'm telling you, this raccoon is a REAL Ahnimus;)

    Got any anti freeze left?? ;):D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    cory wrote:
    Sad news everybody. I think the coon may have packed up and moved. The guy came over and set traps, I spent $160 for three days, and no sign of him. I don't hear him at night anymore. I haven't seen him in the yard or on the house in a few days. He doesn't come to the garage when I set food out. I'm really bummed about it because I wanted either catch him in the trap and set him in a full bathtub or shoot him. Either way, I was posting pics of him.

    I'm sorry it ended this way. If this were a movie, people would boo and throw shit at the screen. The good thing is, he's gone....for now.

    On the other hand, I did get to clean my garage this weekend. That completely sucked, but whatever.

    Thanks for tuning in everyone. I couldn't have imagined a shittier ending to this thread.

    Jeanie, I'll see you in other less crappy threads:)


    Bugger cory!! That is a bit of an anticlimax, but he's gone, so you musta done something right!! ;)

    Now if you get bored, I've got several neighbourhood cats that I'm looking to encourage to bugger off home at night time and stop pissing and squawking outside my bedroom window! Any suggestions? :D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    oh man! This thread is back again. :( :rolleyes:
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • corycory Posts: 736
    oh man! This thread is back again. :( :rolleyes:


    Note to self: Mail (1) live raccoon to a chick in San Diego.

    Jeanie wrote:
    Bugger cory!! That is a bit of an anticlimax, but he's gone, so you musta done something right!! ;)

    Now if you get bored, I've got several neighbourhood cats that I'm looking to encourage to bugger off home at night time and stop pissing and squawking outside my bedroom window! Any suggestions? :D

    I just checked and confirmed that I am the worst catcher of animals in the history of ever. I might suggest a kangaroo wearing boxing gloves to be tied outside of your bedroom window.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    cory wrote:
    I just checked and confirmed that I am the worst catcher of animals in the history of ever. I might suggest a kangaroo wearing boxing gloves to be tied outside of your bedroom window.

    Yeah, not so easy to do. Roos being protected natives and all. :o

    Several people have suggested aspirin in milk, but apparently that kills them, and I don't want them dead, just want them to bugger off home at night time.

    We've got a rather large brush tailed possum that gives them a run for their money, but I'm starting to think they've eaten him!. :eek:

    Perhaps I should consider getting a Doberman for a few weeks? ;)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • corycory Posts: 736
    Alright, we had the condor, the raccoon, and now this.....

    I walk outside to get my digital camera out of the front seat of my truck. I feel a brush against my leg but we have cats next door that go through our garbage so I didn't pay attention to it. I close the door and standing in front of me looking me in the eyes is a fucking FOX. He has a lot of gray hairs and I could tell his eyes were cloudy so he was probably pretty old. I swear to God I don't live near a zoo. Anyway, should I attempt to kill this thing or just leave the old fella alone? By the way, I'm a shitty animal trapper.

    This is a true story.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 29,258
    cory wrote:
    Alright, we had the condor, the raccoon, and now this.....

    I walk outside to get my digital camera out of the front seat of my truck. I feel a brush against my leg but we have cats next door that go through our garbage so I didn't pay attention to it. I close the door and standing in front of me looking me in the eyes is a fucking FOX. He has a lot of gray hairs and I could tell his eyes were cloudy so he was probably pretty old. I swear to God I don't live near a zoo. Anyway, should I attempt to kill this thing or just leave the old fella alone? By the way, I'm a shitty animal trapper.

    This is a true story.

    ok now this one you must let live .....
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • corycory Posts: 736
    ok now this one you must let live .....


    He didn't seem like he would get violent. Maybe it was his age. Does anybody know if they pose a threat to children? If so, I may have to try to kill it somehow. This of course means, he will survive.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 29,258
    cory wrote:
    He didn't seem like he would get violent. Maybe it was his age. Does anybody know if they pose a threat to children? If so, I may have to try to kill it somehow. This of course means, he will survive.

    yeah but don't let your guard down watch the kids when they are outside but you know that allready, anyway if he /she keeps coming back i would change my deodarant probably attracted to you cory you hot hick ......h he he ..
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
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