My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
oh yes, I understand completely that I have to wait for the green man when I'm crossing the road. I understand that if I see a snake I probably should not approach it. I know I should wear my seatbelt. Yep, I'm quite common sensical... but don't expect me to take the blame for somebody ELSE being a fuckhead... cos there's no chance in hell that's gonna happen. What I've learned is you can be as safe as you fucking like and it can still happen. You can walk through a dark alley every night and nothing happen. So fuck having to worry about it! In my situation I felt perfectly 100% safe and it never even entered my head that something could happen. He was a friend and I'll be fucked if that means I can't be alone in a room with a guy cos that's just ridiculous... and in my case, that's where I 'went wrong'. That's all I did.
You're right....you can walk through a dark alley by yourself every night and nothing could happen....but the chances of something happening in that dark alley are a lot higher than if you were walking on a well lit sidewalk with others. You take chances everyday....most people don't try to put themselves in danger...but sometimes they make bad choices...doesn't make it their fault when something bad happens...but they could have put their self in a better situation to avoid it.
oh yes, I understand completely that I have to wait for the green man when I'm crossing the road. I understand that if I see a snake I probably should not approach it. I know I should wear my seatbelt. Yep, I'm quite common sensical... but don't expect me to take the blame for somebody ELSE being a fuckhead... cos there's no chance in hell that's gonna happen. What I've learned is you can be as safe as you fucking like and it can still happen. You can walk through a dark alley every night and nothing happen. So fuck having to worry about it! In my situation I felt perfectly 100% safe and it never even entered my head that something could happen. He was a friend and I'll be fucked if that means I can't be alone in a room with a guy cos that's just ridiculous... and in my case, that's where I 'went wrong'. That's all I did.
im not saying you're to blame if he pulls something. what i am saying is if you invite a guy over on a cold snowy night to curl up on the couch and watch movies and then wear your 6 inch heels and a miniskirt while doing it, he might get the impression you were inviting him over with a purpose and should not be surprised if he tries to hook up. that said, as soon as you say no, he should stop and be pepper sprayed if he doesnt. but he also has the right to be a bit upset about being mislead. i've been in that situation and it's embarrassing and even my girl friends admit they have done this to guys becos they enjoy the attention and feeling desirable and they do it without even really being aware of it and feel bad about how awkward it is for the guy later. there is no excuse for keeping on after you hear no and you should not accept any blame for that. but if you set up a romantic evening and answer the door in your sexiest outfit, you should also not act like "oh what a pig! what in the world made him think i wanted that?" esp when y'all bitch so much about how we dont pick up on your subtle hints when you want us.
Oh yes, I fucking can be upset. It still does not make it even remotely my fault. This planet belongs to all of us... I'm not letting the bigger and stronger ones have any control over me. Once you start changing your ways, they've won. Hence the fact dark alleyways ARE always so quiet. They'd probably be FULL of people and not dangerous at all if people hadn't changed their ways.
ok, i see the rebelious streak in you which i like, but i do think you have to take care of yourself, one day ( and you probably have done so already ) you might find yourself in a very bad situation.....well life and death situation.
And as many other people in here pointed out to you that certain people are just mad, by walking down the dark alley you're not proving a point you're just another victim for them. I mean of course you shouldn't feel scared and you should god damn be able to walk where ever you want when ever you want. but as i said in my other post today about war and torture, we live in the world full of individuals, some of those individuals can't be reasoned with...they are just mental.
that girl, the original thread starter should be thankful that the guy didn't turn out to be a serial killer.
ah, to be honest Helen it's your life. just make sure that if a bad situation comes your way you're a prepared for it.
im not saying you're to blame if he pulls something. what i am saying is if you invite a guy over on a cold snowy night to curl up on the couch and watch movies and then wear your 6 inch heels and a miniskirt while doing it, he might get the impression you were inviting him over with a purpose and should not be surprised if he tries to hook up. that said, as soon as you say no, he should stop and be pepper sprayed if he doesnt. but he also has the right to be a bit upset about being mislead. i've been in that situation and it's embarrassing and even my girl friends admit they have done this to guys becos they enjoy the attention and feeling desirable and they do it without even really being aware of it and feel bad about how awkward it is for the guy later. there is no excuse for keeping on after you hear no and you should not accept any blame for that. but if you set up a romantic evening and answer the door in your sexiest outfit, you should also not act like "oh what a pig! what in the world made him think i wanted that?" esp when y'all bitch so much about how we dont pick up on your subtle hints when you want us.
Fair enough... I can see where you're coming from but there is a certain finger of BLAME being thrown around here and that should never happen. Yeh you may dress up cos maybe you like the guy but you may not be 'easy'. So a low top and short skirt certainly may be an indication that she's interested but if she tells you she's NOT interested and you continue, then yeh.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Clothing definitely matters....If I come home and my wife is wearing a skimpy little outfit and shoots me down when I get turned on, her ass can sleep on the couch!
I personally think this is hilarious. You're actually saying that theres no such thing as sexual assault unless its a rape?
to quote someone who seems to be the only person sympathetic to the attacker in this story:
"Welcome to 2007"
I dunno why I get involved in these threads cos there's so much bullshit being spouted.
Well indian summer, welcome to 2007 where women CAN drink and CAN wear what they want and CAN tell you to fuck off... and you MUST fuck off!
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
I personally think this is hilarious. You're actually saying that theres no such thing as sexual assault unless its a rape?
to quote someone who seems to be the only person sympathetic to the attacker in this story:
"Welcome to 2007"
The fucking thread was called "Acquaintance RAPE" not "Acquantance sexual assault"....and from what was posted about the situation, that sounds kinda harsh considering what happened.
oh yes, I understand completely that I have to wait for the green man when I'm crossing the road. I understand that if I see a snake I probably should not approach it. I know I should wear my seatbelt. Yep, I'm quite common sensical... but don't expect me to take the blame for somebody ELSE being a fuckhead... cos there's no chance in hell that's gonna happen. What I've learned is you can be as safe as you fucking like and it can still happen. You can walk through a dark alley every night and nothing happen. So fuck having to worry about it! In my situation I felt perfectly 100% safe and it never even entered my head that something could happen. He was a friend and I'll be fucked if that means I can't be alone in a room with a guy cos that's just ridiculous... and in my case, that's where I 'went wrong'. That's all I did.
and hopefully before you reply to my other thread i will say that yes i don't agree when women get blamed for sending "wrong kind of signals" to men. because men will see any slight nice gesture as a signal.
ok, i see the rebelious streak in you which i like, but i do think you have to take care of yourself, one day ( and you probably have done so already ) you might find yourself in a very bad situation.....well life and death situation.
And as many other people in here pointed out to you that certain people are just mad, by walking down the dark alley you're not proving a point you're just another victim for them. I mean of course you shouldn't feel scared and you should god damn be able to walk where ever you want when ever you want. but as i said in my other post today about war and torture, we live in the world full of individuals, some of those individuals can't be reasoned with...they are just mental.
that girl, the original thread starter should be thankful that the guy didn't turn out to be a serial killer.
ah, to be honest Helen it's your life. just make sure that if a bad situation comes your way you're a prepared for it.
Don't worry, I'm prepared! I'm not going into details on this forum anymore but I know what I'm talking about to a certain extent. My experiences were with friends when I felt 100% safe. I've done some pretty fucking 'stupid' things in my lifetime and have been very lucky in those situations. Anything could happen at any time and I'm not gonna waste my life worrying about it... fuckin hell, I'm in an office on my own right now, anyone could come in, lock the door, whatever. Do ya think that weighs on my mind? Not a bit. Yes, there ARE ways to avoid certain things BUT we need to focus more on the actual criminal... NOT the victim.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
The fucking thread was called "Acquaintance RAPE" not "Acquantance sexual assault"....and from what was posted about the situation, that sounds kinda harsh considering what happened.
true, it was not rape. i personally still don't know what the hell happend
Last weekend, I invited a man over to watch videos since the snow didn't call for going out for coffee. This guy took the invitation as sexual rights. Except for him (respecting) my "No's", I'd say he did everything but rape me. He said I was asking for it by the way I was dressed. And if I wouldn't do this, would I do that? And since I wouldn't do that, would I do this? In the words of Avril Lavigne, it was "badder than it sounds." I held the door open for him to leave and that took 15 painful minutes.
The experience rates #2 in my top two worst times with a male. (The first, worst time being when I nearly divorced yet managed to help write a few hit songs...)
You invited a stranger, a coworker, a bar drunk? What kind of "man" did you invite over that you didn't know that he may be this way? Just curious as to how long you knew him and from where.
Apparently the guy she was posting about did finally.
I fucking hope so. Cos the guy I had to fight off tried to get me to go home another night with him, when I didn't he brought some other girl home and actually raped her :(
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Fair enough... I can see where you're coming from but there is a certain finger of BLAME being thrown around here and that should never happen. Yeh you may dress up cos maybe you like the guy but you may not be 'easy'. So a low top and short skirt certainly may be an indication that she's interested but if she tells you she's NOT interested and you continue, then yeh.
which is what i was saying. she seems awfully dodgy about a few things. i get the feeling this was more of an audible situation than a no interest situation. she got dressed up, thought he was cute, and then decided she didnt want to go through with it. which is fine. no is no. he should not have continued on. he should have gotten up, called her a tease, and went home to watch porn.
she got dressed up, thought he was cute, and then decided she didnt want to go through with it. which is fine. no is no. he should not have continued on. he should have gotten up, called her a tease, and went home to watch porn.
I agree!
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
The fucking thread was called "Acquaintance RAPE" not "Acquantance sexual assault"....and from what was posted about the situation, that sounds kinda harsh considering what happened.
its a perspective thing whether its harsh or not. and its pretty understandable if shes shook up about it. as for safety, yes it was a learning experience and probably an unneccisarily risky thing to do, but i dont think that theres any point trying to excuse anything the guy did here cos the important thing is that she said no. and he kept going. thats just thinking like a horny caveman.
in pretty much any commonlaw system (ireland, US, canada, aussie, nz, uk) if he touched her afterwards it would count technically as (sexual) assault...so from that point i dont really see how its harsh
hehe, it's like a light bulb started shinging in my head when i re-read those words. you are right, people in this thread started blaming the victim not the criminal.
and as for clothing, i think women can wear whatever they want and not be afraid of leading men on.
to all the men outhere:
some women wear short skirts because that particular skirt is in fashion
or that particular short skirt suits them and they want to look good for themselves.
its a perspective thing whether its harsh or not. and its pretty understandable if shes shook up about it. as for safety, yes it was a learning experience and probably an unneccisarily risky thing to do, but i dont think that theres any point trying to excuse anything the guy did here cos the important thing is that she said no. and he kept going. thats just thinking like a horny caveman.
in pretty much any commonlaw system (ireland, US, canada, aussie, nz, uk) if he touched her afterwards it would count technically as (sexual) assault...so from that point i dont really see how its harsh
He didn't touch her.
Or maybe he did but it sounds like he didn't.
its a perspective thing whether its harsh or not. and its pretty understandable if shes shook up about it. as for safety, yes it was a learning experience and probably an unneccisarily risky thing to do, but i dont think that theres any point trying to excuse anything the guy did here cos the important thing is that she said no. and he kept going. thats just thinking like a horny caveman.
in pretty much any commonlaw system court (ireland, US, canada, aussie, nz, uk) if he touched her afterwards it would count technically as (sexual) assault...so from that point i dont really see how its harsh
I think it's harder for some guys to understand cos they, presumably, are less likely to have been in that situation. I think there's a pretty high percentage of women who have experienced even someone forcing them to kiss them. It's not the kissing that's bad but when they don't stop and you're trying to push them away and there is a split second where you think 'I might be in trouble here' and that's bad enough but the guy's thinking 'it's just a fucking kiss, don't be such a prick teaser'. And yeh, it is just a kiss but she doesn't know where that's leading.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
hehe, it's like a light bulb started shinging in my head when i re-read those words. you are right, people in this thread started blaming the victim not the criminal.
all the talk has been about what she did wrong... but everyone seems to be in agreeance that no means no BUT....... it's often followed by a 'but' and it shouldn't be... no means no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
all the talk has been about what she did wrong... but everyone seems to be in agreeance that no means no BUT....... it's often followed by a 'but' and it shouldn't be... no means no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she said the guy respected her "no's" and finally left.
all the talk has been about what she did wrong... but everyone seems to be in agreeance that no means no BUT....... it's often followed by a 'but' and it shouldn't be... no means no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree 100% helen. however, she did put herself in a dangerous situation. I've made that mistake as well and luckily did not have any problems, but after the fact I've been like "shit, I should not have invited that guy I barely know to my house." but live and learn. and luckily, it does not sound like she was really injured in anyway and was finally able to get rid of him. I think the point some people are making which could be taken as "blaming the victim" could be seen as just "next time be more careful because there are scumbags out there!"
I agree 100% helen. however, she did put herself in a dangerous situation. I've made that mistake as well and luckily did not have any problems, but after the fact I've been like "shit, I should not have invited that guy I barely know to my house." but live and learn. and luckily, it does not sound like she was really injured in anyway and was finally able to get rid of him. I think the point some people are making which could be taken as "blaming the victim" could be seen as just "next time be more careful because there are scumbags out there!"
Well put. We all make mistakes....and hopefully learn from them as you did.
she said the guy respected her "no's" and finally left.
that part makes it sound like he didnt touch her after to be fair, but then again he didnt leave for 15 minutes so its hardly like they were having fun banter for that time.
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"Free Shipping" SPEEDY MCCREADY
My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
You're right....you can walk through a dark alley by yourself every night and nothing could happen....but the chances of something happening in that dark alley are a lot higher than if you were walking on a well lit sidewalk with others. You take chances everyday....most people don't try to put themselves in danger...but sometimes they make bad choices...doesn't make it their fault when something bad happens...but they could have put their self in a better situation to avoid it.
im not saying you're to blame if he pulls something. what i am saying is if you invite a guy over on a cold snowy night to curl up on the couch and watch movies and then wear your 6 inch heels and a miniskirt while doing it, he might get the impression you were inviting him over with a purpose and should not be surprised if he tries to hook up. that said, as soon as you say no, he should stop and be pepper sprayed if he doesnt. but he also has the right to be a bit upset about being mislead. i've been in that situation and it's embarrassing and even my girl friends admit they have done this to guys becos they enjoy the attention and feeling desirable and they do it without even really being aware of it and feel bad about how awkward it is for the guy later. there is no excuse for keeping on after you hear no and you should not accept any blame for that. but if you set up a romantic evening and answer the door in your sexiest outfit, you should also not act like "oh what a pig! what in the world made him think i wanted that?" esp when y'all bitch so much about how we dont pick up on your subtle hints when you want us.
I personally think this is hilarious. You're actually saying that theres no such thing as sexual assault unless its a rape?
to quote someone who seems to be the only person sympathetic to the attacker in this story:
"Welcome to 2007"
ok, i see the rebelious streak in you which i like, but i do think you have to take care of yourself, one day ( and you probably have done so already ) you might find yourself in a very bad situation.....well life and death situation.
And as many other people in here pointed out to you that certain people are just mad, by walking down the dark alley you're not proving a point you're just another victim for them. I mean of course you shouldn't feel scared and you should god damn be able to walk where ever you want when ever you want. but as i said in my other post today about war and torture, we live in the world full of individuals, some of those individuals can't be reasoned with...they are just mental.
that girl, the original thread starter should be thankful that the guy didn't turn out to be a serial killer.
ah, to be honest Helen it's your life. just make sure that if a bad situation comes your way you're a prepared for it.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Clothing definitely matters....If I come home and my wife is wearing a skimpy little outfit and shoots me down when I get turned on, her ass can sleep on the couch!
Well indian summer, welcome to 2007 where women CAN drink and CAN wear what they want and CAN tell you to fuck off... and you MUST fuck off!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
The fucking thread was called "Acquaintance RAPE" not "Acquantance sexual assault"....and from what was posted about the situation, that sounds kinda harsh considering what happened.
and hopefully before you reply to my other thread i will say that yes i don't agree when women get blamed for sending "wrong kind of signals" to men. because men will see any slight nice gesture as a signal.
Wow, you were just starting to make sense too :(
Don't worry, I'm prepared! I'm not going into details on this forum anymore but I know what I'm talking about to a certain extent. My experiences were with friends when I felt 100% safe. I've done some pretty fucking 'stupid' things in my lifetime and have been very lucky in those situations. Anything could happen at any time and I'm not gonna waste my life worrying about it... fuckin hell, I'm in an office on my own right now, anyone could come in, lock the door, whatever. Do ya think that weighs on my mind? Not a bit. Yes, there ARE ways to avoid certain things BUT we need to focus more on the actual criminal... NOT the victim.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
true, it was not rape. i personally still don't know what the hell happend
Apparently the guy she was posting about did finally.
You invited a stranger, a coworker, a bar drunk? What kind of "man" did you invite over that you didn't know that he may be this way? Just curious as to how long you knew him and from where.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
which is what i was saying. she seems awfully dodgy about a few things. i get the feeling this was more of an audible situation than a no interest situation. she got dressed up, thought he was cute, and then decided she didnt want to go through with it. which is fine. no is no. he should not have continued on. he should have gotten up, called her a tease, and went home to watch porn.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
its a perspective thing whether its harsh or not. and its pretty understandable if shes shook up about it. as for safety, yes it was a learning experience and probably an unneccisarily risky thing to do, but i dont think that theres any point trying to excuse anything the guy did here cos the important thing is that she said no. and he kept going. thats just thinking like a horny caveman.
in pretty much any commonlaw system (ireland, US, canada, aussie, nz, uk) if he touched her afterwards it would count technically as (sexual) assault...so from that point i dont really see how its harsh
hehe, it's like a light bulb started shinging in my head when i re-read those words. you are right, people in this thread started blaming the victim not the criminal.
and as for clothing, i think women can wear whatever they want and not be afraid of leading men on.
to all the men outhere:
some women wear short skirts because that particular skirt is in fashion
or that particular short skirt suits them and they want to look good for themselves.
He didn't touch her.
Or maybe he did but it sounds like he didn't.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
she said the guy respected her "no's" and finally left.
I agree 100% helen. however, she did put herself in a dangerous situation. I've made that mistake as well and luckily did not have any problems, but after the fact I've been like "shit, I should not have invited that guy I barely know to my house." but live and learn. and luckily, it does not sound like she was really injured in anyway and was finally able to get rid of him. I think the point some people are making which could be taken as "blaming the victim" could be seen as just "next time be more careful because there are scumbags out there!"
Well put. We all make mistakes....and hopefully learn from them as you did.
what i don't understand is why her thread title is rape. clearly she hasn't been raped.
that part makes it sound like he didnt touch her after to be fair, but then again he didnt leave for 15 minutes so its hardly like they were having fun banter for that time.
I asked the same thing.