As a small child, Jesse Jackson hit a nun on the head while playing basketball at recess. He was then taken to the principal's office, who was also a nun, and was beaten with a ruler. Thus began his interest the Civil Rights movement, his change from Catholic to Baptist religions, and his distaste for basketball.
until this morning the name behind the voice
of the owl in the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial was a mystery.
the person behind the voice is none other than Prince Charles. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fGTUFqPJo4
Three weeks ago Zakk Wylde released his rendition of America The Beautiful.
Oddly enough he is strumming his guitar with his calloused penis, no hands.
It's the only hands free thing he does.
Zakk was quoated saying "I still use my fuckin cell phone while driving without the piece of shit hands free optional head set."
pbs (not mtv) just released this digitally remastered music video
of a 11 year old eddie vedder from back in his youthful days
as an inspiring singer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rwUt3zAbDs
it is his rendition of "I Got A Woman" by Ray Charles.
The secret CIA tapes of Marilyn Monroe feature many mutterings done by the actress in referencing the President, JFK - it took the CIA years to discover that she was referring to him whenever she mentioned " Woody Woodpecker" previous to this code break, they believed she was a huge fan of Walter Lantz.
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
I posted this in the other music section but now that I think of it, it probably belongs here...
Just released:
In a surprising move, Chris Cornell has embraced a new ad campaign for his pending album, Scream. In an effort to off-set what is widely expected to be lackluster sales, Cornell is now marketing his 3rd solo album as a product guaranteed to improve the listen ability and overall enjoyment of every other album in your collection.
How does it work?
Easy.
Simply listen to as much of Scream as you can possibly tolerate and then try popping in another album you always felt had a issue with the mix, or production, or even too many filler tracks. Whatever your problem is, the results are undeniably staggering. If you aren’t left thinking, “I guess that really could have been worse,” Cornell will personally refund your money.
Like you, I was originally skeptical of this miracle product so I tried it on Cornell’s second solo album, Carry On. I will be damned if I didn’t come away from that experience thinking, “I would kill for another record that was even this good.”
Just try it. Your music collection will never have sounded so sweet.
Some of the various side effects from listening to Scream include:
Dry mouth
Bewilderment
Irritability
Blurred Vision
Rectal Bleeding
Anxiety
Agitation
Nausea
Headache
Low self-estem
Suicide
Homicide
Gastrointestinal disturbance/diarrhea
Inability to achieve an erection
Urge to kick puppies
Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer
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Today on a New Jersey freeway David Lee Roth of NYC found a wooden crate
filled with top secret FBI video tapes.
He was seen taking the wooden crate to an alleyway
behind a McDonald's in Brooklyn where he sold
the crate and top secret video tapes to a colored gentleman.
Later Roth was seen running from a New Jersey pawn shop
with a ghetto blaster under his arm that could be heard playing the Centurions' - Comanche.
not many people know that Japan is the only country in the world spelled J A P A N.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
in 2005 a study in Scotland showed that 20% of all men say they have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just don't think it's a problem.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
A woman in Deerfalls, Michigan was able to finally complete the jigsaw puzzle she began back in February when her husband finally "passed" the final piece after a lengthy treatment of "Mother Gerard's brand suppositories"
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
77% of dogs are stupid, the other 23% think they are lizards.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
A blind senior citizen gentleman we will call "Joe" was found wandering the streets
of east St. Louis this morning at 3:30am.
He was completely naked with a very engorged penis.
When asked what he was doing
he threw the remains of a case of Viagra
at the police officer and began humping
a nearby tree until he bled to death.
Yesterday while deep sea fishing Ted Danson actually caught Ted Nugent on his fishing line.
Nugent was taking an under water welding class at the time and had drifted
away from the class.
Danson was reported saying to Nugent, and I quote,
" wow uncle Ted that is one hairy sack you have."
Nugent then replied "how about I stick this machine gun up your ass."
Danson then dove off the fishing vessel and swam to shore some 18 miles away.
In 1982 Tom Selleck was brutally attacked by a Norwegian fisherman who cut off Selleck’s mustache & later stole his black Ferrari. The Norwegian fisherman was said to have used Selleck’s mustache as a sweater while fishing the northern Atlantic for Cod.
Selleck’s black sports car was never seen again. Hence the red Ferrari in his hit television show Magnum PI.
Nuns are required by law to stay at least 3miles away from any zoo, this is as a result of 'The Great Penguin Fisting Incident of 1983'.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Today 14 green iguanas mated in a zoo in China.
Ming & Lee the neighboring Pandas still have not had actual intercourse.
However, they are still having oral sex and have been for the past 9 years.
China's zoo officials are skeptical.
the Bill Withers soul classic "Just The Two Of Us" was recently voted the greatest song of all time by the American Society of Schizophrenics.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Today 85 years ago Orville Redenbacher received his patent on Orville Redenbacher popping popcorn.
Oddly enough it wasn't even his name.
His actual name is John Denver, just like the late singer, John Denver.
Under interrogation 99.6% of all men would lie about having never had illicit thoughts of Brad Pitt and a packet of strawberries.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
The Pope doesnt actually want to be the pope... he was just on his way to an Alzheimers Ghost Party and got lost.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Michael Jackson was an avid collector of the drummer from Def Leppards spare gloves.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Comments
of the owl in the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial was a mystery.
the person behind the voice is none other than Prince Charles.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fGTUFqPJo4
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Oddly enough he is strumming his guitar with his calloused penis, no hands.
It's the only hands free thing he does.
Zakk was quoated saying "I still use my fuckin cell phone while driving without the piece of shit hands free optional head set."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxN1W4SiLLk
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
of a 11 year old eddie vedder from back in his youthful days
as an inspiring singer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rwUt3zAbDs
it is his rendition of "I Got A Woman" by Ray Charles.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Just released:
In a surprising move, Chris Cornell has embraced a new ad campaign for his pending album, Scream. In an effort to off-set what is widely expected to be lackluster sales, Cornell is now marketing his 3rd solo album as a product guaranteed to improve the listen ability and overall enjoyment of every other album in your collection.
How does it work?
Easy.
Simply listen to as much of Scream as you can possibly tolerate and then try popping in another album you always felt had a issue with the mix, or production, or even too many filler tracks. Whatever your problem is, the results are undeniably staggering. If you aren’t left thinking, “I guess that really could have been worse,” Cornell will personally refund your money.
Like you, I was originally skeptical of this miracle product so I tried it on Cornell’s second solo album, Carry On. I will be damned if I didn’t come away from that experience thinking, “I would kill for another record that was even this good.”
Just try it. Your music collection will never have sounded so sweet.
Some of the various side effects from listening to Scream include:
Dry mouth
Bewilderment
Irritability
Blurred Vision
Rectal Bleeding
Anxiety
Agitation
Nausea
Headache
Low self-estem
Suicide
Homicide
Gastrointestinal disturbance/diarrhea
Inability to achieve an erection
Urge to kick puppies
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
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http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
filled with top secret FBI video tapes.
He was seen taking the wooden crate to an alleyway
behind a McDonald's in Brooklyn where he sold
the crate and top secret video tapes to a colored gentleman.
Later Roth was seen running from a New Jersey pawn shop
with a ghetto blaster under his arm that could be heard playing the Centurions' - Comanche.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
of east St. Louis this morning at 3:30am.
He was completely naked with a very engorged penis.
When asked what he was doing
he threw the remains of a case of Viagra
at the police officer and began humping
a nearby tree until he bled to death.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Nugent was taking an under water welding class at the time and had drifted
away from the class.
Danson was reported saying to Nugent, and I quote,
" wow uncle Ted that is one hairy sack you have."
Nugent then replied "how about I stick this machine gun up your ass."
Danson then dove off the fishing vessel and swam to shore some 18 miles away.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Selleck’s black sports car was never seen again. Hence the red Ferrari in his hit television show Magnum PI.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
while doing the nation news on CBS.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Ming & Lee the neighboring Pandas still have not had actual intercourse.
However, they are still having oral sex and have been for the past 9 years.
China's zoo officials are skeptical.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
The wool gives them an itchy sensation while the silk gives them a semi.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Oddly enough it wasn't even his name.
His actual name is John Denver, just like the late singer, John Denver.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
(thanks for bringing this back Dunk!)