See, that's the thing. I kinda hinted at this in the original post. I did this. She doesn't like it and gets mad at me because she feels offended by it. Bottom line, when I've asked for about a 30 minute veg-time... It makes her feel bad.
That was kinda the point of the post. I'm in a lose-lose situation and I can't figure it out.
The truth is, I should probably just fold, let her go into her discussions on work ect. and just listen. They are probably right; I'm selfish for wanting to veg for a bit when I get in. But, I can't deny that it is what I want.
is it possible to kind of sell her on the idea by saying "if I can just have 15 minutes to chill, I'd be able to give you my full attention"? Kind of a compromise where she feels like she's going to eventually have your full attention?
I feel like she needs to give a little bit on her end as well.
That is because you know you'll get fat and/or have a heart attack.
How can a man know a woman just wants him to sit there and don't say anything if she doesn't tell him?
I would argue that the OP's wife is telling him by the way she's acting.
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
Personally, I don't vent or bitch about daily work/life frustrations. I'm a big boy and I can deal with those things all by myself. If there is something really bothering me then yes, I will talk to my wife and yes, I will appreciate whatever advice she has to offer. Those sitations are rare though...
That's how I am
Very rarely do I need to vent or ask her for help
If its a huge family thing or life situation thats different
Not just someone at work is being a bitch
My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Personally, I don't vent or bitch about daily work/life frustrations. I'm a big boy and I can deal with those things all by myself. If there is something really bothering me then yes, I will talk to my wife and yes, I will appreciate whatever advice she has to offer. Those sitations are rare though...
i relate to what you said a lot.
Charlotte 00 Charlotte 03 Asheville 04 Atlanta 12 Greenville 16, Columbia 16 Seattle 18 Nashville 22 Ohana Festival 24 x2
Now for a serious answer:
The two of you obviously treat the arrival home in a different manner. You need to have a calm discussion with her about how you like to unwind and acknowledge how she likes to do so. Then set up a little compromise where she gives you so much time to relax before discussing things, then you spend a little time listening to her...and find out if she wants your insight/advice or if she just wants to bend your ear. If its the latter, just listen for a few minutes, then go about the rest of your evening.
Its not as hard as it seems to make you both satisfied with the dynamic. All marriages have their little giva nad take, so give a little, and ask for a little in return.
Believe me, this is a very very small problem compared to what can happen in a marriage, its easily solvable, but ignoring it can only lead to larger issues in the future.
Personally, I don't vent or bitch about daily work/life frustrations. I'm a big boy and I can deal with those things all by myself. If there is something really bothering me then yes, I will talk to my wife and yes, I will appreciate whatever advice she has to offer. Those sitations are rare though...
So what's the point in your wife if you rarely talk to her??
Personally, I don't vent or bitch about daily work/life frustrations. I'm a big boy and I can deal with those things all by myself.
The OP's wife is a big girl and she can also deal with her problems herself, unless she asks for help.. same as you. The only difference with women is that they like to talk about things. It was probably a woman who came up with the phrase 'A problem shared is a problem halved'. The male equivalent is 'A problem shared is 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back.'
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
Personally, I don't vent or bitch about daily work/life frustrations. I'm a big boy and I can deal with those things all by myself. If there is something really bothering me then yes, I will talk to my wife and yes, I will appreciate whatever advice she has to offer. Those sitations are rare though...
So what's the point in your wife if you rarely talk to her??
I'm quite certain I never said that. I talk to my wife all the time but it isn't me unloading frustrations about my day or just blah, blah, blahing to hear my own voice. Also, she is a dynamo in the sack!
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Now for a serious answer:
The two of you obviously treat the arrival home in a different manner. You need to have a calm discussion with her about how you like to unwind and acknowledge how she likes to do so. Then set up a little compromise where she gives you so much time to relax before discussing things, then you spend a little time listening to her...and find out if she wants your insight/advice or if she just wants to bend your ear. If its the latter, just listen for a few minutes, then go about the rest of your evening.
Its not as hard as it seems to make you both satisfied with the dynamic. All marriages have their little giva nad take, so give a little, and ask for a little in return.
Believe me, this is a very very small problem compared to what can happen in a marriage, its easily solvable, but ignoring it can only lead to larger issues in the future.
I think for the most part you are right. I hope she will agree.
The OP's wife is a big girl and she can also deal with her problems herself, unless she asks for help.. same as you. The only difference with women is that they like to talk about things. It was probably a woman who came up with the phrase 'A problem shared is a problem halved'. The male equivalent is 'A problem shared is 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back.'
I love the last sentence, possibly a new motto.
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'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
Tell her to shut the hell up and go fry you up some meat!
Flipping through answers....hit this one and didn't have to read who posted it....I just knew!
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
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— Unknown
I think for the most part you are right. I hope she will agree.
"Women don't mean talk = talk. Women mean listen = listen.
You say:
"No way!"
"I don't believe it!"
"Get out of here!"
"I tell ya, that bitch crazy!"
"When you're listening to your woman, every once in a while you gotta throw in, 'I tell ya, that bitch crazy!' Everyone woman has another woman in her life that she can't stand. It's like some Dynasty shit all up in here!"
My new tattooist looks kind of like Jessica Alba.. with tattoos. :cool:
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
I prefer to relax for about 1 hour before cooking. She likes to rush into it. We split the job of housework including cooking.
I prefer to relax for about an hour when I get home, that's all. That was why I made the comment about beer ect.
I do give a F about what she is saying, dude. You don't know me, so chill. I love my wife and I'm trying to figure things out in an anonomous manner. That's why I posted this.
But, anyway, you're probably right; I should just listen. My point is, how am I different from a wall if I just listen and offer nothing back in the form of communication? Isn't communication a two-way street? So, when I'm presented with a problem from someone I love, should I not try to help her solve it?
Have you tried to tell her that you need/want time to decompress when you get home after work?
Even if she is not into the idea, part of her needs to respect it.
You need to come to a compromise or else you are going to end up completely resenting each other and going your seperate ways.
Talk to her and if she resists, try for a half hour of decompression time.
Instead of a beer, why don't you go running? That helps to wind down much better than parking yourself in front of the tv with a beer.
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
Have you tried to tell her that you need/want time to decompress when you get home after work?
Even if she is not into the idea, part of her needs to respect it.
You need to come to a compromise or else you are going to end up completely resenting each other and going your seperate ways.
Talk to her and if she resists, try for a half hour of decompression time.
Instead of a beer, why don't you go running? That helps to wind down much better than parking yourself in front of the tv with a beer.
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
she's very true. unlike the stereotype, most women don't spend all their time nagging. if they do it's their fault they're with someone they feel the need to nag. why wouldn't you just break up with someone if you're at the point of nagging?
Comments
is it possible to kind of sell her on the idea by saying "if I can just have 15 minutes to chill, I'd be able to give you my full attention"? Kind of a compromise where she feels like she's going to eventually have your full attention?
I feel like she needs to give a little bit on her end as well.
I would argue that the OP's wife is telling him by the way she's acting.
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
Quite fantastic toast?
Quit fucking talking?
Que?
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That's how I am
Very rarely do I need to vent or ask her for help
If its a huge family thing or life situation thats different
Not just someone at work is being a bitch
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
quite fucking true
Charlotte 03
Asheville 04
Atlanta 12
Greenville 16, Columbia 16
Seattle 18
Nashville 22
Ohana Festival 24 x2
Charlotte 03
Asheville 04
Atlanta 12
Greenville 16, Columbia 16
Seattle 18
Nashville 22
Ohana Festival 24 x2
The two of you obviously treat the arrival home in a different manner. You need to have a calm discussion with her about how you like to unwind and acknowledge how she likes to do so. Then set up a little compromise where she gives you so much time to relax before discussing things, then you spend a little time listening to her...and find out if she wants your insight/advice or if she just wants to bend your ear. If its the latter, just listen for a few minutes, then go about the rest of your evening.
Its not as hard as it seems to make you both satisfied with the dynamic. All marriages have their little giva nad take, so give a little, and ask for a little in return.
Believe me, this is a very very small problem compared to what can happen in a marriage, its easily solvable, but ignoring it can only lead to larger issues in the future.
So what's the point in your wife if you rarely talk to her??
The OP's wife is a big girl and she can also deal with her problems herself, unless she asks for help.. same as you. The only difference with women is that they like to talk about things. It was probably a woman who came up with the phrase 'A problem shared is a problem halved'. The male equivalent is 'A problem shared is 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back.'
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
start YOUR day after that
problem solved-you both get what you need
I kind of feel similar.
He can’t spare a minute for his wife (if he even has one)?
I'm quite certain I never said that. I talk to my wife all the time but it isn't me unloading frustrations about my day or just blah, blah, blahing to hear my own voice. Also, she is a dynamo in the sack!
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696
http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
I think for the most part you are right. I hope she will agree.
I love the last sentence, possibly a new motto.
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696
http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
he didnt say new tattoo
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Flipping through answers....hit this one and didn't have to read who posted it....I just knew!
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
"Women don't mean talk = talk. Women mean listen = listen.
You say:
"No way!"
"I don't believe it!"
"Get out of here!"
"I tell ya, that bitch crazy!"
"When you're listening to your woman, every once in a while you gotta throw in, 'I tell ya, that bitch crazy!' Everyone woman has another woman in her life that she can't stand. It's like some Dynasty shit all up in here!"
- Chris Rock
My new tattooist looks kind of like Jessica Alba.. with tattoos. :cool:
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
Even if she is not into the idea, part of her needs to respect it.
You need to come to a compromise or else you are going to end up completely resenting each other and going your seperate ways.
Talk to her and if she resists, try for a half hour of decompression time.
Instead of a beer, why don't you go running? That helps to wind down much better than parking yourself in front of the tv with a beer.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
Asking him repeatedly to take the garbage out, wash the dishes or walk the dog..... thats nagging.... and maybe not unjustified
Wembley 18/06/07
If there was a reason, it was you.
O2 Arena 18/09/09
run then beer is my presciption
Can't take my eyes off you.
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
she's very true. unlike the stereotype, most women don't spend all their time nagging. if they do it's their fault they're with someone they feel the need to nag. why wouldn't you just break up with someone if you're at the point of nagging?