I've been speaking with a girl for a while now. She calls me or texts me almost every day. I really enjoy speaking with her. I've been out of the dating bandwagon for awhile now and now that we've been talking I would really like to date this girl.
The problem is she has a "friend" from Philly that she has a "crush" on. It's been a couple of times now that she mentions him. At first it didn't bother me at all and I would simply tease her about it, but we just got off the phone about 20 minutes ago and she said she had "mixed" emotions cause this guy told her that he was going on a date this weekend. It bothered me that she would tell me this, considering that we've been speaking for about a month now for almost every day. It's now feeling like she's calling me simply to "vent" out her her problems with me. I don't like it.
I don't want to tell her anything nor do I want to tell her how I feel about it. I've done it before in the past, and from experience it's never worked by telling girls what I feel.
So while she was telling me about how "sad," "happy" or as she described it "mixed" emotions I began to grow uninterested in the conversation. I know she noticed cause she asked, "what's wrong?" So I told her that nothing was wrong. She asked why I was quiet so I just responded and said, "I'm just listening." I tried changing the conversation and tried making her laugh but it wasn't working. I guess I was a little upset about it but was trying not to show it. She probably picked up on it... I'm not sure. All I told her was that I just want her to have a great time when she talks with me.
The reason it bothers me the most is because we always speak about going out on a date, and also considering that she calls me almost every day, I think if she were smart enough she would know it's probably not best to talk about the fellows she has a crush on. We've even made plans to go out this week.
I felt like dating her... I guess I still do but those things are not great to talk about when you're just beginning to like the person. So I'm not entirely sure what to do. I want to ignore her completely this whole weekend. If she calls or texts me I just want to ignore her. I'm even thinking of dating others. I'm not sure if that's the best thing I could do. Any suggestions?
I am almost POSITIVE that by mentioning this other guy, she is trying to get your reaction. I mean I have definitely played a similar hand myself in the past. She's trying to prompt you to say something about how you like her. I almost guarantee it.
She really sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.... don't let her play you.... move on
You'll be glad of this advice later.
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
especially after you tell a girl you are already dating that you love her...
this guy is not in the so called "friend zone." there's no such thing once you are like out of high school. she's trying to get him to tell her he likes her.
there's no such thing once you are like out of high school
I completely disagree.... sorry. I'm in the friendzone a few times over, and I'm 25.
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
i know i'm in the friendzone.... i'm not entirely sure she's only saying that to get me "fired" up so i can make a move. i haven't made or given any small hint that I want to date her. i don't wanna sound like a wuss. the truth is i still would like to date her but i don't wanna come off like a nice guy. we've even spoken about dating. she's told me that i'm a jerk already which is good. then she always asks me about what kinds of girls i'm into and that if i sell drugs cause she wouldn't wanna date a guy that sells drugs. oh, yeah then there's her calling me every single day. so it's as if she's interested in me but then there's this other guy that she had a crush on before meeting me.
so i'm just gonna ignore her a little bit and then finally get back with her after awhile and make my move. fuck the other guy. i wouldn't fight him though.... i don't think that's a good idea.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
this guy is not in the so called "friend zone." there's no such thing once you are like out of high school. she's trying to get him to tell her he likes her.
how do you figure that? then once i DO tell her i like her what then? you think she'll say, "oh thank you thank you... i like you too"?
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
i know i'm in the friendzone.... i'm not entirely sure she's only saying that to get me "fired" up so i can make a move. i haven't made or given any small hint that I want to date her. i don't wanna sound like a wuss. the truth is i still would like to date her but i don't wanna come off like a nice guy. we've even spoken about dating. she's told me that i'm a jerk already which is good. then she always asks me about what kinds of girls i'm into and that if i sell drugs cause she wouldn't wanna date a guy that sells drugs. oh, yeah then there's her calling me every single day. so it's as if she's interested in me but then there's this other guy that she had a crush on before meeting me.
so i'm just gonna ignore her a little bit and then finally get back with her after awhile and make my move. fuck the other guy. i wouldn't fight him though.... i don't think that's a good idea.
Maybe you just ARE a nice guy. If so, don't apologise for it. Be proud of it. If anyone doesn't like it, fuck em. That's what I've decided.
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
Maybe you just ARE a nice guy. If so, don't apologise for it. Be proud of it. If anyone doesn't like it, fuck em. That's what I've decided.
see here's the weird thing. i'm naturally a not so nice guy. i'm really a horrible person for many reasons that i could think of. bad temper, boastful and whatnot.
so that is what is so confusing about the situation. i haven't been "nice" to her in that sort of way. or if i was cause that's what it sounds like i wouldn't even know where exactly i was being the "nice guy".
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
see here's the weird thing. i'm naturally a not so nice guy. i'm really a horrible person for many reasons that i could think of. bad temper, boastful and whatnot.
so that is what is so confusing about the situation. i haven't been "nice" to her in that sort of way. or if i was cause that's what it sounds like i wouldn't even know where exactly i was being the "nice guy".
Ok.... Someone else already said that she might be talking to you about this other guy just to make you react. I absolutely agree. I did that same thing 2 days ago... And It just works.
This guy I had a thing with 3 months ago kept fighting his feelings for the most reasonable reasons (has a girlfriend for 3 years and he's going back home -really far away- for ever in 8 days). So the other night we all went to a bar and I started talking to a guy there, all night long talking, he was seriously interested in me but I knew all the way that nothing was going to happen.
Fast foward to today, he's pissed.
Conclusion: I got what I needed... To know there's still something there to fight for.
So probably she's just trying to find out if you are interested in her. My advide, say something, not something that will expose you too much but something clear enough that she'll understand that you do have feelings for her.
And then just play along, sometimes it takes a while, but all these games and "strategies" make it more fun, and it's just hillarious to talk about them once you're already together. haha
Good luck!
"The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
I'm no dude! Dudette!
I am almost POSITIVE that by mentioning this other guy, she is trying to get your reaction. I mean I have definitely played a similar hand myself in the past. She's trying to prompt you to say something about how you like her. I almost guarantee it.
My sentiments exactly. Talking every day to someone you really like for a month, without any hint from them that they like you, is a LONG time. She's either decided you only wanna be friends, or she's testing your reaction by telling you about this other guy. Personally, games like this give me the shits. If you like someone, say so. The worst that can happen is she doesn't feel the same way. At least you will know. I'd give the same advice to her if she was reading this too........ life's too short to fuck around.
Ok.... Someone else already said that she might be talking to you about this other guy just to make you react. I absolutely agree. I did that same thing 2 days ago... And It just works.
This guy I had a thing with 3 months ago kept fighting his feelings for the most reasonable reasons (has a girlfriend for 3 years and he's going back home -really far away- for ever in 8 days). So the other night we all went to a bar and I started talking to a guy there, all night long talking, he was seriously interested in me but I knew all the way that nothing was going to happen.
Fast foward to today, he's pissed.
Conclusion: I got what I needed... To know there's still something there to fight for.
So probably she's just trying to find out if you are interested in her. My advide, say something, not something that will expose you too much but something clear enough that she'll understand that you do have feelings for her.
And then just play along, sometimes it takes a while, but all these games and "strategies" make it more fun, and it's just hillarious to talk about them once you're already together. haha
Good luck!
hmmm.... ok.... i'll see what happens. but i'll still ignore her for the moment.... cause afterall talking almost every day can be a drag sometimes.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
My sentiments exactly. Talking every day to someone you really like for a month, without any hint from them that they like you, is a LONG time. She's either decided you only wanna be friends, or she's testing your reaction by telling you about this other guy. Personally, games like this give me the shits. If you like someone, say so. The worst that can happen is she doesn't feel the same way. At least you will know. I'd give the same advice to her if she was reading this too........ life's too short to fuck around.
i dunno... this whole thing of testing my reactions about this other guy sounds kinda "iffy" but i'll see what becomes of it.
This isn't the land of opportunity, it's the land of competition.
i dunno... this whole thing of testing my reactions about this other guy sounds kinda "iffy" but i'll see what becomes of it.
The point being, iffy or not....... in telling her you like her, you at least find out if she likes you back. If she does, it's all good. If she doesn't, you won't spend another minute wondering about it.
i dunno... this whole thing of testing my reactions about this other guy sounds kinda "iffy" but i'll see what becomes of it.
Not meaning to sound like a dick, but it's iffy to me too... I'm not sure it's worth the games girls play sometimes.
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
Not meaning to sound like a dick, but it's iffy to me too... I'm not sure it's worth the games girls play sometimes.
Well it all deppends on the way each story developes. But imagine, if it's scary for guys to speak up sometimes, for us it's even worst (I hate the fact that it is, but... it is). It can be the historical position we've had in relationships, the fact that usually the guy will ask the girl out, and all that jazz. But at least in my opinion, when we don't have the guts to just go ahead and say it, either we do things like this to see if it's even worth the try, or just wait till the guy makes his move.
I've done both, playing games and being straightfoward about it and just saying it, and both had their good and bad, but I wouldn't change a thing, because they felt like the right thing to do with each guy.
"The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
I'm no dude! Dudette!
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
Sounds like a good idea to me. Typical of a guy. :rolleyes: You should both do yourselves a favour and find someone likeminded.
you needed this thread to know you are nothing but sex to us?
to the OP, stop talking to her. just avoid her. come up with excuses why you don't have time to speak to her. either she will just disappear in which case you know she had no interest, or she will suddenly realize you won't let her use you as a fallback doormat which will spur her to take you more seriously and get her wet for you becos she'll think you're confident and don't need her.
The point being, iffy or not....... in telling her you like her, you at least find out if she likes you back. If she does, it's all good. If she doesn't, you won't spend another minute wondering about it.
no, it's not all good. becos if you drop some limp "i really like you" words on her, even if she DID like you, she WON'T anymore. you're no longer a challenge. you've tipped your hand. and she knows you're desperate enough that you're willing to say crap like that to her so she knows she can fall back on you. even if she goes for it, you've lost all "hand" in the relationship from the very beginning and she will use you like a toy and already start looking elsewhere.
you either get physical with her one night out of the blue, or tell her flat out you're taking her on a date and tell her when and where to show up. or if she calls to ask why you've been avoiding, you say it's becos you don't want to listen to her whine about other guys and then YOU get the hand if she gets apologetic. she needs to know you're a man who's not going to play women's head games or let her jerk you around with subtle jealousy games.
no, it's not all good. becos if you drop some limp "i really like you" words on her, even if she DID like you, she WON'T anymore. you're no longer a challenge. you've tipped your hand. and she knows you're desperate enough that you're willing to say crap like that to her so she knows she can fall back on you. even if she goes for it, you've lost all "hand" in the relationship from the very beginning and she will use you like a toy and already start looking elsewhere.
Wow...you've really been treated shitty by women, haven't you? :( I'm sorry.
This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper
no, it's not all good. becos if you drop some limp "i really like you" words on her, even if she DID like you, she WON'T anymore. you're no longer a challenge. you've tipped your hand. and she knows you're desperate enough that you're willing to say crap like that to her so she knows she can fall back on you. even if she goes for it, you've lost all "hand" in the relationship from the very beginning and she will use you like a toy and already start looking.
I agree with Soulsinging completely.... you're fucked from the start with many women..
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
no, it's not all good. becos if you drop some limp "i really like you" words on her, even if she DID like you, she WON'T anymore. you're no longer a challenge. you've tipped your hand. and she knows you're desperate enough that you're willing to say crap like that to her so she knows she can fall back on you. even if she goes for it, you've lost all "hand" in the relationship from the very beginning and she will use you like a toy and already start looking elsewhere.
you either get physical with her one night out of the blue, or tell her flat out you're taking her on a date and tell her when and where to show up. or if she calls to ask why you've been avoiding, you say it's becos you don't want to listen to her whine about other guys and then YOU get the hand if she gets apologetic. she needs to know you're a man who's not going to play women's head games or let her jerk you around with subtle jealousy games.
Awesome post, I want to give you a high five right now.
Comments
Good luck!!
I am almost POSITIVE that by mentioning this other guy, she is trying to get your reaction. I mean I have definitely played a similar hand myself in the past. She's trying to prompt you to say something about how you like her. I almost guarantee it.
You'll be glad of this advice later.
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
the friend zone is the worst...
especially after you tell a girl you are already dating that you love her...
this guy is not in the so called "friend zone." there's no such thing once you are like out of high school. she's trying to get him to tell her he likes her.
I completely disagree.... sorry.
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
bingo.
i know i'm in the friendzone.... i'm not entirely sure she's only saying that to get me "fired" up so i can make a move. i haven't made or given any small hint that I want to date her. i don't wanna sound like a wuss. the truth is i still would like to date her but i don't wanna come off like a nice guy. we've even spoken about dating. she's told me that i'm a jerk already which is good. then she always asks me about what kinds of girls i'm into and that if i sell drugs cause she wouldn't wanna date a guy that sells drugs. oh, yeah then there's her calling me every single day. so it's as if she's interested in me but then there's this other guy that she had a crush on before meeting me.
so i'm just gonna ignore her a little bit and then finally get back with her after awhile and make my move. fuck the other guy. i wouldn't fight him though.... i don't think that's a good idea.
Maybe you just ARE a nice guy. If so, don't apologise for it. Be proud of it. If anyone doesn't like it, fuck em. That's what I've decided.
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
It's like a dick in a glass jar!
Bingo.
so that is what is so confusing about the situation. i haven't been "nice" to her in that sort of way. or if i was cause that's what it sounds like i wouldn't even know where exactly i was being the "nice guy".
This guy I had a thing with 3 months ago kept fighting his feelings for the most reasonable reasons (has a girlfriend for 3 years and he's going back home -really far away- for ever in 8 days). So the other night we all went to a bar and I started talking to a guy there, all night long talking, he was seriously interested in me but I knew all the way that nothing was going to happen.
Fast foward to today, he's pissed.
Conclusion: I got what I needed... To know there's still something there to fight for.
So probably she's just trying to find out if you are interested in her. My advide, say something, not something that will expose you too much but something clear enough that she'll understand that you do have feelings for her.
And then just play along, sometimes it takes a while, but all these games and "strategies" make it more fun, and it's just hillarious to talk about them once you're already together. haha
Good luck!
I'm no dude! Dudette!
My sentiments exactly. Talking every day to someone you really like for a month, without any hint from them that they like you, is a LONG time. She's either decided you only wanna be friends, or she's testing your reaction by telling you about this other guy. Personally, games like this give me the shits. If you like someone, say so. The worst that can happen is she doesn't feel the same way. At least you will know. I'd give the same advice to her if she was reading this too........ life's too short to fuck around.
The point being, iffy or not....... in telling her you like her, you at least find out if she likes you back. If she does, it's all good. If she doesn't, you won't spend another minute wondering about it.
Not meaning to sound like a dick, but it's iffy to me too... I'm not sure it's worth the games girls play sometimes.
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
I've done both, playing games and being straightfoward about it and just saying it, and both had their good and bad, but I wouldn't change a thing, because they felt like the right thing to do with each guy.
I'm no dude! Dudette!
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
you needed this thread to know you are nothing but sex to us?
to the OP, stop talking to her. just avoid her. come up with excuses why you don't have time to speak to her. either she will just disappear in which case you know she had no interest, or she will suddenly realize you won't let her use you as a fallback doormat which will spur her to take you more seriously and get her wet for you becos she'll think you're confident and don't need her.
no, it's not all good. becos if you drop some limp "i really like you" words on her, even if she DID like you, she WON'T anymore. you're no longer a challenge. you've tipped your hand. and she knows you're desperate enough that you're willing to say crap like that to her so she knows she can fall back on you. even if she goes for it, you've lost all "hand" in the relationship from the very beginning and she will use you like a toy and already start looking elsewhere.
you either get physical with her one night out of the blue, or tell her flat out you're taking her on a date and tell her when and where to show up. or if she calls to ask why you've been avoiding, you say it's becos you don't want to listen to her whine about other guys and then YOU get the hand if she gets apologetic. she needs to know you're a man who's not going to play women's head games or let her jerk you around with subtle jealousy games.
Wow...you've really been treated shitty by women, haven't you? :( I'm sorry.
yeah, she had your name, remember?
i've given as good as i've gotten though. it's a dirty game all around.
I agree with Soulsinging completely.... you're fucked from the start with many women..
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
Awesome post, I want to give you a high five right now.
OMG. That's right. :( Stupid bitch.
aint that the truth...
Story of my life, bro.
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