Fucked up situation

terminal velocityterminal velocity Posts: 73
edited September 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Unfortunately, this is not a hypothetical question. My good friend, best man at my wedding, moved in with my wife and I 2 months ago. I was on his computer the other day, and I stumbled upon his uh, child pornography collection. 1.4 GB. What the fuck do I do? Can't imagine confronting him about it. For sure can't do nothing. The best I can think of is to delete the folder without his knowledge, making it gone, and letting him realize he's been caught. I feel violated that he's in our house rent-free, using our internet to do this. I feel sick now. Better get back to class..
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Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • Dead Man WalkingDead Man Walking Toronto-ish Posts: 2,762
    call the cops before it's too late...remember that's YOUR IP address...

    ...and that slo makes him total scum and you don't need friends like that.

    also kick him in the dick for me.
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    You sure you did not suspect something? How do you "tumble" upon it?

    You need to think of the children he has/may hurt so yeah, he needs to be turned it. Sometimes it sucks to do the right thing.
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  • saveuplifesaveuplife Posts: 1,173
    Unfortunately, this is not a hypothetical question. My good friend, best man at my wedding, moved in with my wife and I 2 months ago. I was on his computer the other day, and I stumbled upon his uh, child pornography collection. 1.4 GB. What the fuck do I do? Can't imagine confronting him about it. For sure can't do nothing. The best I can think of is to delete the folder without his knowledge, making it gone, and letting him realize he's been caught. I feel violated that he's in our house rent-free, using our internet to do this. I feel sick now. Better get back to class..


    Bro, if it is really legit child po_rn.... you got to confront him. That's just wrong and sick. He needs help. Get him it.
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Your computer pretty much makes it your porn. Delete everything and kick that mofo out!
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  • muppetmuppet Posts: 980
    Turn him in. Not only is it a repulsive thing to do, he's using your IP address (I assume?) and directly involving you.

    I wouldn't try and delete it if I were you, leave it to the cops maybe? Who knows.
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Your computer pretty much makes it your porn. Delete everything and kick that mofo out!

    it was his friend's computer, not his. Diff. IP address, right?
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • catch22catch22 Posts: 1,081
    Unfortunately, this is not a hypothetical question. My good friend, best man at my wedding, moved in with my wife and I 2 months ago. I was on his computer the other day, and I stumbled upon his uh, child pornography collection. 1.4 GB. What the fuck do I do? Can't imagine confronting him about it. For sure can't do nothing. The best I can think of is to delete the folder without his knowledge, making it gone, and letting him realize he's been caught. I feel violated that he's in our house rent-free, using our internet to do this. I feel sick now. Better get back to class..

    yikes. this is a tough spot.

    1. you need to cover yourself first. it's your home and your IP address. you could be held responsible. so it needs to stop, now.

    2. it's a tough call on involving the police. it will end the friendship and he's going to have a hard time in prison. as a friend, it's not easy, but it may be worthwhile to try confronting him. he's going to be angry that you "snooped" on him (going to be his first reaction). but if you can get past that, you could try to get him into some counseling or something. my guess is he doesn't want to be doing this, though it's one disease that has pretty poor success rates with respect to cure.

    no matter what though, you can't let him continue living there and doing this. it jeopardizes your family. even if you delete it, he could just pick up doing it again and try to be more sneaky about it. you don't know if it will actually stop him.
    and like that... he's gone.
  • he needs to get the hell out of your house. he's compromised you enough already by using your IP address, bad enough he was doing it in the first place. if he gives the tiniest bit of resistance, call the cops.
  • Pete Townsend was the best man at your wedding?

























































    Too soon?


    Seriously, call the cops. That's just sick.
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  • one ip address routed over the wireless. straight back to me in a legal proceeding.
    wind howls through our new haircuts
    the water rushes 'round
    heaven knows there's not one thing left to say
  • The folks saying he had endangered you would be right as far as I know and it is a fucked up situation. I understand the difficulty you might have with just putting your foot down...whether that's by turning him in or kicking him out....because I had to end the longest friendship in my life a couple of years ago. It wasn't anything as serious as what you are dealing with, but that was tough to do even though I knew it had to happen.

    You already know in your mind what you have to do I'm guessing.....you just don't want to admit it just yet. Good luck
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  • angie76angie76 Posts: 646
    I would not only delete the folder but rip him a new one. Like other people already mentioned, it's your computer he's viewing it on. He sounds like a scumbag to me.
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  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    good luck. even if you go to the cops, it still could sound like its your porn and you are trying to cover your ass. im sure some people here think that. not saying i do, but some will. i would still maybe get the cops involved.

    hope all works out for you.
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  • if it's his computer though (like it's physically in his room or something), you can make the argument with the cops that it is his material, not yours. the sooner you move on this the better i think.
  • We have separate computers. That's all on his
    wind howls through our new haircuts
    the water rushes 'round
    heaven knows there's not one thing left to say
  • Confront him. But don't do it in a hostile manner. Tell him you need to talk to him about something. When you do, tell him you found it on the computer, you know it's his and that you want him to get rid of it. Tell him you're extremely upset that he would but you in this situation, especially since you're trying to help him out and that you thinks it's unfair that he's taking advantage of you. From there, I guess there's two routes you can go down. Contact the authorities, or try to talk to him. If you do contact the authorities, be prepared to defend yourself and to have your friend try to put the blame on you. If you try to talk to him, tell him you're ready to listen to him and help him find help if it means keeping him out of jail, but only on the condition that he really does get help. And if you tell him you'll help him, mean it. Think about the choices very carefully. But do not wait too long.
  • 1. You need to kick him out of your house ASAP. This cannot be tolerated. He is using your IP address.

    2. I'm not sure about going to the cops. It is your IP address, and he could claim it is you, you claim it is him, and you get into a finger pointing match. You both could get prosecuted. I just don't know.

    I'd say kick him out and consider going to the police. Permanently delete all that shit off your computer.

    This is a tough situation, but you need to cover your ass here, and do not need to tolerate this or just not say anything. He is putting you in danger with the police.

    I probably would go to the police with a preliminary strike. If you don't the police could come after you and then if you implicate him, it could look like you are passing blame.
  • dawngdawng Posts: 644
    Lizard wrote:
    it was his friend's computer, not his. Diff. IP address, right?

    Wrong - same IP address. The ISP (internet service provider) will assign one IP address to your home...than your router will assign internal IP addresses to your individual computers. The one that will be reported is the one the ISP assigns your home.

    If I read correctly - this is his computer. That will go a long way in showing that it was not you.

    However - this could still get you in HUGE trouble. If he downloaded any of the photos using your interenet connection, there is a trail pointing to YOU. And if the police come knocking on your door and you had kicked him out already and you have no evidence (his computer) than you are most likely screwed.

    I'm not a lawyer - but you should talk to one ASAP. And depending on what they say - you may need to call the police. At the very least - as a friend - I'd confront him if I were in your position. He needs help!

    Good luck!
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  • mole1985mole1985 Posts: 1,119
    Call the police. NOW. There is too much at risk if you just ignore it. I know he's your friend but damn it you gotta do the right thing and as in most things in life the right thing is often the hardest. Good Luck.
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  • jeffbrjeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    I would kick his ass for potentially getting you in a world of trouble. Then I'd call the cops. I would expect the friendship to be over, and that would be fine. Why would anyone want to be friends with a scumbag who preys upon kids, or at least supports those who do. Fuck him.

    It seems pretty black and white to me. Is somebody really worried about the feelings of a kiddie porn collector?
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  • muppetmuppet Posts: 980
    jeffbr wrote:

    It seems pretty black and white to me. Is somebody really worried about the feelings of a kiddie porn collector?

    To us on an internet message board, it's probably black and white. But I doubt it ever is. We don't have any idea about the relationship this guy has with his friend. Christ, he was his best man.

    That said, I wouldn't waste time with this. You've got to do something becuase he's putting you at risk as well.
  • jeffbr wrote:
    I would kick his ass for potentially getting you in a world of trouble. Then I'd call the cops. I would expect the friendship to be over, and that would be fine. Why would anyone want to be friends with a scumbag who preys upon kids, or at least supports those who do. Fuck him.

    It seems pretty black and white to me. Is somebody really worried about the feelings of a kiddie porn collector?


    Well, he obviously has a close relationship with him. Best man at his wedding. Letting him move in. The only thing we know about this guy is that he collects cp. The OP knows this guy as someone else. And I'm guessing has known him for quite a few years.
  • jeffbr wrote:
    I would kick his ass for potentially getting you in a world of trouble. Then I'd call the cops. I would expect the friendship to be over, and that would be fine. Why would anyone want to be friends with a scumbag who preys upon kids, or at least supports those who do. Fuck him.

    It seems pretty black and white to me. Is somebody really worried about the feelings of a kiddie porn collector?
    yeah i can imagine the OP is probably stunned and sad to find this out about his friend. i know i'd be floored if i discovered something of equal disgust about any good friends of mine. but friendship doesn't preclude doing the right thing...and if you have any younger relatives or friends with kids, you could never trust him around them.

    i agree with the suggestion of calling an attorney.

    sorry you gotta deal with this, it's awful on so many fronts. good luck.
  • I'm with Dawn...speak to a lawyer before doing anything. If you confront the guy, it only gives him the heads up and who knows how he will react. As for the cops...as I said...a lawyer is probably the first thing you need to do. I'm not saying anything bad about cops, but when one is dealing with a "system" it's better to be safe than sorry.

    I feel bad that it is your friend doing it...must be tough
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  • Please, please, please, as the mother of 2 little girls - you need to confront him with this & I believe that the police need to be aware. How are you going to feel if you don't & he ends up hurting an innocent little child... He may only be viewing it on the internet (which is completely sick in its own right) but who knows what else could happen.

    he may be your friend, but he needs help. fast. Please...

    If it is on his computer & not a shared one, it will be on him. If you delete it & it is tracked to your computer somehow, you may look guilty as well for not reporting it.

    good luck!
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  • jeffbrjeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    muppet wrote:
    To us on an internet message board, it's probably black and white. But I doubt it ever is. We don't have any idea about the relationship this guy has with his friend. Christ, he was his best man.

    That said, I wouldn't waste time with this. You've got to do something becuase he's putting you at risk as well.

    I understand the best man thing, but once a best man does something to put my life and legal standing in jeopardy, I am not concerned about him. It isn't like he had a kegger and didn't clean up after the party. He committed a very serious crime witch will involve law enforcement doing forensic analysis on every computer in that house. It will bring heat down on every resident of the home. If he doesn't call the cops, he is now aiding and abetting, and could possibly spend time with his buddy behind bars.

    I would not wait 2 seconds to call the cops. You want to show that you acted immediatley, that you had no prior knowledge, that you don't condone the actions in any way, shape or form.
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08
  • jeffbrjeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    The only thing we know about this guy is that he collects cp.


    So if everything else about the guy is cool, that's something you'd be able to overlook?

    That is all I need to know about the guy.
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  • petrocspetrocs Posts: 4,342
    absolutely turn him in and let the scumbag fry!
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  • chromiamchromiam Posts: 4,114
    It amazes me how people jump all over the situation without asking a simple question.... what do you mean by child porn?? is it pics of girls/boys who look "barely legal" or obviously girls/boys who are underage??? If its the former than you might not have much of a problem other than your friend using your internet to download legal porn... if its the latter than get legal advice and prepare for the end of a friendship.
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  • jeffbr wrote:
    So if everything else about the guy is cool, that's something you'd be able to overlook?

    That is all I need to know about the guy.


    No, what I said is that the OP knows a lot more about this person and has a close relationship to this person. Therefore it's going to be a lot harder for them to choose a course of action than it would be us, a neutral party.


    I don't understand how that could be mistaken for "overlook it".
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