Kids say the darndest things : Part 2

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  • anotherclone
    anotherclone Posts: 1,688
    catefrances wrote:
    zoe(aged 10) said: you mean to tell me all that maths you were doing was so you could buy booze???


    did you say "yes dear. exactly." :lol:
  • Nothingman54
    Nothingman54 Posts: 2,251
    my 2 year old boy has been watching happy gilmore cause he liks to watch people hit golf balls and one part of the movie someone says holy shit and my son said it crystal ten seconds before the guy in the movie saic it
    I'll be back
  • locked
    locked Boston Posts: 4,048
    bump!
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    My boy Colby, age 6, explaining how fish get from the lake to the dinner table to his 3 year old sister:

    "Some people think that you have to kill the fish, but you don't, you only have to put it out of its misery" :?
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • All5horizons1991
    All5horizons1991 Posts: 138
    When Michael Jackson passed, my three year old caught a picture of him on TV. He turn to me and said...."Daddy, who is that scary lady?"
    I can't teach common sense.
  • Black Diamond
    Black Diamond Posts: 25,109
    My middle one (6 years old) was watching a movie in the basement with my wife. When he came up I asked if it was good. He repplied, there was quite a lot of innapropriate material for children in it. He said the film was rated PG-13 but should have been an R. :mrgreen:
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • theoceansmademe
    theoceansmademe Posts: 1,132
    My son, then 3, was on the toilet doing a #2 and in a strained voice ask, "Dada who come I talk different when I poop?" And then adding "Do you talk different when you poop? How about Mama?"

    My other son when 3 was having a speech evaluation. A professional was showing him pictures to test his vocab, she held up a picture of a zipper, my son says, "A barn door". She looked puzzled and I began laughing, then explaining I had told him a few times and going to the bathroom that his barn door was open and to zip it up.

    Potty humor can we ever get enough?
  • BhagavadGita
    BhagavadGita Posts: 1,748
    My roommates 3yr old went to visit Grandpa in Arkansas for 3 weeks.

    One morning, out of the blue he says "I hate Obama!"

    I said, "why?"

    He said "I just hate him"

    eeek.
  • TheBeardedFellow
    TheBeardedFellow Posts: 329
    This reminds me of James Quall's Bill Cosby impersonation. "Kid's say the darndest things. Spaghetti and meatballs."
  • anotherclone
    anotherclone Posts: 1,688
    All5horizons1991 wrote:
    When Michael Jackson passed, my three year old caught a picture of him on TV. He turn to me and said...."Daddy, who is that scary lady?"

    during that same time when the news channels were all running those retrospective stories, a lot of the shows had pictures and performances when Michael was still young (and black).

    My daughter said "he looked a lot more happier when his skin was brown".
  • locked
    locked Boston Posts: 4,048
    this is a thread that needs a serious bump>>
    :D
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • youngster
    youngster Boston Posts: 6,576
    My 2 yr son and I play tackle football. He will run at me and tackle me as I fall back. Well, one night I did this and after was talking to my wife while laying on my back. My son suddenly jumps on my chest and nails me in the solarplexes causing me to lose my breath. I was laying there for about 30 seconds kind of grunting and trying to catch my breath. My son starts pointing at me yelling, "STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP"

    My wife asked him, "Stop what?"

    He says pointing at me, "Stop whining like a baby, daddy."
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

    9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
    EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
  • PJFAN_seattle
    PJFAN_seattle Posts: 2,965
    My 2 year old brother calls his weewee "a trunk!" it is quite hilarious.
    Shows:
    Seattle Key Arena 9-21-2009
    Seattle Key Arena 9-22-2009
  • mookiemoochie16
    mookiemoochie16 Posts: 521
    locked wrote:
    another "Guitar hero III" moment..

    My 7 year old did the Mikey "closed eyes / head back" during the his "even flow" solo..

    Think I've been playing PJ DVD's a little much?

    Oh my god...that is hilarious. I'd love to see a picture or a video of your son doin' the Mike!
    The oceans made me, but who came up with love?

    "You put some udder cream on that shit?" ~EV 5/17/10
  • cincybearcat
    cincybearcat Posts: 16,880
    Before christmas, my wife and I were in the car with our 2.5 year old girl. We were on our way home from the mall. We had seen a friend of her's sitting on Santa's lap but my daughter didn't want any part of that.

    I asked her, "How is Santa going to know what you want for christmas if you don't tell him?"

    My wife said "Are you going to write him a letter?"

    My daughter said "No, I already emailed him".

    I have no idea where she even knew about email from. I almost wrecked the car in my laughter.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • locked
    locked Boston Posts: 4,048
    I told me nine year old son he needed to do three things before he could play xbox 360 the other night:

    me: Get in your pajamas.

    son: OK

    me: Put your clothes in their drawers

    son: OK

    me: Brush your teeth

    son: You HAD to go there... didn't you Dad?!

    :D

    (he hates to brush his teeth!)
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • Drowned Out
    Drowned Out Posts: 6,056
    My four yr old and I, after he got out of bed:

    me: c'mon, back to bed.
    him: I can't sleep tho, daddy.
    me: just keep your eyes closed bud, you'll fall asleep.
    him: but I can't sleep with the music on.
    me: what music? there's no music playing..
    him: but I hear it!
    me: where? in your head?
    him: (big frown) YES! I can't turn it down.
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    I had the following conversation with a 3 year old yesterday. (As we all know, 3 years is the best age for darndest sayings.)

    M: Why is Swiper bad?
    Me: Because every story has to have an antagonist.
    M: I know what an antagonist is.
    Me: You do??
    M: Yeah, a fox!
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • theoceansmademe
    theoceansmademe Posts: 1,132
    This one came from the wife.

    The boys, 7 & 5, are watching T.V.

    7: "It's called a Pussy"

    5: "Pussy?"

    7: "Yeah, a Pussy!"

    Wife, sitting near by reading, finally looks up shocked, "What did you say?"

    7, "mom, the cat he's called the pussy"
  • anotherclone
    anotherclone Posts: 1,688
    My daughter and I were driving in the car together today and she said "what are those graffiti phones used for?"

    She was looking at a pay phone.

    She didn't have a clue what a pay phone is.

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