Thanks so much, everyone. I keep coming back and reading this thread over and over to lift my spirits. I'm taking this a lot harder than I did the first time. After everything I went through over the past year, here I am, right back at square one ... it just feels like it was all a huge waste of time and energy. Not to mention this is probably the end of my vacation plans (a vacation that I feel I very much need), because I'm going to need all my vacation days for treatment again. And more of going to work sick all the time. And the numbers for people whose cancer recurs in the first year are not encouraging, to put it mildly. Just all of it ... it's depressing :(
I need to snap out of this depression bullshit and get pissed off again, it works better for me. So just keep telling me how awesome I am, haha ... maybe I'll start to believe it and act accordingly.
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
Thanks so much, everyone. I keep coming back and reading this thread over and over to lift my spirits. I'm taking this a lot harder than I did the first time. After everything I went through over the past year, here I am, right back at square one ... it just feels like it was all a huge waste of time and energy. Not to mention this is probably the end of my vacation plans (a vacation that I feel I very much need), because I'm going to need all my vacation days for treatment again. And more of going to work sick all the time. And the numbers for people whose cancer recurs in the first year are not encouraging, to put it mildly. Just all of it ... it's depressing :(
I need to snap out of this depression bullshit and get pissed off again, it works better for me. So just keep telling me how awesome I am, haha ... maybe I'll start to believe it and act accordingly.
Something my mom would say to you, even if you don't believe in a God it always seemed to lighten the load on me from time to time:
God wouldn't give you any more than you can handle.
I'm not a very religious person but it seems to be a comforting thought. I fonly you weren't such a strong person!!!!!! Perhaps you are helping to lighten the load on someone else that might not be able to handle it.
I hope your daughter is handling this as best as she can.
Thanks so much, everyone. I keep coming back and reading this thread over and over to lift my spirits. I'm taking this a lot harder than I did the first time. After everything I went through over the past year, here I am, right back at square one ... it just feels like it was all a huge waste of time and energy. Not to mention this is probably the end of my vacation plans (a vacation that I feel I very much need), because I'm going to need all my vacation days for treatment again. And more of going to work sick all the time. And the numbers for people whose cancer recurs in the first year are not encouraging, to put it mildly. Just all of it ... it's depressing :(
I need to snap out of this depression bullshit and get pissed off again, it works better for me. So just keep telling me how awesome I am, haha ... maybe I'll start to believe it and act accordingly.
Laura, I'm thinking about you all the time. I wish I could help you out of the funk you're in right now. If you wanna yell at someone, yell at me. I won't mind.
Laura, I'm thinking about you all the time. I wish I could help you out of the funk you're in right now. If you wanna yell at someone, yell at me. I won't mind.
My problem is I don't want to yell at anyone, I just want to sit here and mope. Not good.
Thanks for the offer, but if I feel like yelling at someone, CorporateWhore is here all the time
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
My problem is I don't want to yell at anyone, I just want to sit here and mope. Not good.
No that's not good. I believe this feeling will pass because although I've never met you from all I've read from you on here, soon you're gonna get pissed and fight this.
Thanks so much, everyone. I keep coming back and reading this thread over and over to lift my spirits. I'm taking this a lot harder than I did the first time. After everything I went through over the past year, here I am, right back at square one ... it just feels like it was all a huge waste of time and energy. Not to mention this is probably the end of my vacation plans (a vacation that I feel I very much need), because I'm going to need all my vacation days for treatment again. And more of going to work sick all the time. And the numbers for people whose cancer recurs in the first year are not encouraging, to put it mildly. Just all of it ... it's depressing :(
I need to snap out of this depression bullshit and get pissed off again, it works better for me. So just keep telling me how awesome I am, haha ... maybe I'll start to believe it and act accordingly.
you ARE awesome! i sit here in awe of you and your generosity, compassion and intelligence. you jumped right in for the little girl with cancer and offered to shave your head after you just got hair back. you always get your point across intelligently and politely even if your opinion differs radically. you almost always have a kind word for everyone. so see...you really are the bomb diggity.
it IS harder to hear the 2nd time. it's just as you said...it feels as if it were all a waste of time and you did all that hard work for nil. you still don't have all your energy back from the first time...and you're just too damn tired to want to do it again. it's just such a daunting road ahead and you don't feel up to it.
as was for the numbers...screw em. they told me 4 yrs ago 6-18 months was average life expectancy. HA...showed them didn't i? current stats put me at a 16% chance of surviving this year but screw a bunch of THAT noise. i don't much feel like i wanna die this year nor do i have the time. i got things to do, kids and grandkids to love, torment n tease and a lot of tequila to drink.
these words of wisdom from my ca counselor helped me put things in perspective when i was facing yet another recurrence - "if you have one leg in the past and one leg in the future, you are pissing on today". it's hard when you're in the throes of testing and worrying....but try to keep it in mind. you are wasting valuable 'well' time moping around right now waiting on results. so get off yer depressed, yet generous, compassionate and intelligent ass, and get busy fighting.
We haven't really spoken on here, but I'm terribly sorry to hear about this. I hope you can snap out of your depression mode, and just believe that you can and will beat this.
I know it probably doesn't mean much, but we're all here to support you, and we are waiting for you to come back here and let us know that everything is ok. So try and not disappoint .
But seriously, keep believing that things will get better. You kicked it once, and can do it again. Its not square one, because you are tougher now then you were then. And you'll be tougher once you get through it this time. I don't know why you have to go through this, but just keep believing in your heart that you will.
Lots of love coming your way.
y
you couldn't swing if you were hangin' from a palm tree in a hurricane.
Laura, I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts go out to you. You can beat this, you are way too strong to let cancer bring you down, you beat it the first time, you can do it again!
A friend sent me a crap survey email thingy the other day and it said "what word do you hate?" I said CANCER!
My dad had it for 6 months then got his prostate gland cut out in June 2005. As with all cancers, of course there's a chance it can come back.
We spend billions fighting fucking wars yet don't have a cure to cancer which claims I don't know how many people each day. It shits me...it really fucking shits me.
Sorry, Hippie Mom...you probably didn't want to hear that. But I've read many of your posts and knew you had had cancer before from your posts. Didn't know where or when. Saw this thread for the first time tonight and then realised it's back. And now I'm sitting here FUCKING shitty again.
When are we going to realise that to find a cure it's going to need A LOT MORE MONEY that the cause presently has available. But noooo, the need for a neverending fucking war outweighs the need for a cure....until George Bush's fucking wife or daugher has cancer and then something might finally be done. There'd be a shitload of funding then! :mad:
My problem is I don't want to yell at anyone, I just want to sit here and mope. Not good.
Thanks for the offer, but if I feel like yelling at someone, CorporateWhore is here all the time
Well you'd better stop moping cos for me, the thought of you sitting there moping is making ME mope... and it's making everyone else mope. How can we send you positive thoughts if we're all sitting at our computer moping? Come on, we're trying our best but you need to help us out here
I think this might be a great time for some election campaigners to call to your door
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
sorry to hear about this Laura... if you fancy a laugh then PM me and i'll email you a photo of my elephant impression.. i even shaved my pubes to look like its ears :cool:
you could glue the shaved off hair to your head if you wish.... no?... it was just a thought... if you fancy it just say and i'll post them to you babes
i also have other peoples that i've collected but that might just be weird... i mean some of the colours are totally different :rolleyes:
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
sorry to hear about this Laura... if you fancy a laugh then PM me and i'll email you a photo of my elephant impression.. i even shaved my pubes to look like its ears :cool:
you could glue the shaved off hair to your head if you wish.... no?... it was just a thought... if you fancy it just say and i'll post them to you babes
i also have other peoples that i've collected but that might just be weird... i mean some of the colours are totally different :rolleyes:
I'd highly advise against ANY of this :eek:
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Thanks so much, everyone. I keep coming back and reading this thread over and over to lift my spirits. I'm taking this a lot harder than I did the first time. After everything I went through over the past year, here I am, right back at square one ... it just feels like it was all a huge waste of time and energy. Not to mention this is probably the end of my vacation plans (a vacation that I feel I very much need), because I'm going to need all my vacation days for treatment again. And more of going to work sick all the time. And the numbers for people whose cancer recurs in the first year are not encouraging, to put it mildly. Just all of it ... it's depressing :(
I need to snap out of this depression bullshit and get pissed off again, it works better for me. So just keep telling me how awesome I am, haha ... maybe I'll start to believe it and act accordingly.
hippiemom, I'm very sorry to hear about not only the new developments, but that you have to experience the harshness of the cards you've been dealt. It's completely understandable if this has knocked you back a step or two and that you feel down. You are certainly entitled to feel that considering all you've worked through so far. I can't imagine the time, energy and effort you have put towards healing and your health this past year, and to find out there are more challenges ahead, wow. I encourage you to feel to all of the negative things you feel--the anger, sadness, frustration and disappointment. You can move through those feelings and let them go, increasing your ability to move on and heal. I also encourage you to listen to yourself--you know when it's time to feel and mourn the lost health you have experienced and may yet experience, and also the enjoyable vacation time you were looking forward to. You are a very insightful and competent woman. You will also know when they time is right to get up, calling forth your strength, wisdom and ability to overcome. I am always here for you, good friend. Again, my thoughts and heart are with you. Peace.
And ditto what Abu said!
"The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr
i've got a strong feeling i;ll be having some PM's a coming my way
*polishes trunk for photos*
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
I advise: mope a little and indulge in this crazy pleasure.:)
well this is true... there's nothing like a photo of dunks 'trunk' (hahahaha that rhymes ) to make ANYONE laugh
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
sorry to hear about this Laura... if you fancy a laugh then PM me and i'll email you a photo of my elephant impression.. i even shaved my pubes to look like its ears :cool:
you could glue the shaved off hair to your head if you wish.... no?... it was just a thought... if you fancy it just say and i'll post them to you babes
i also have other peoples that i've collected but that might just be weird... i mean some of the colours are totally different :rolleyes:
had a postitive affect....fkn hillarious. BUT Hippie mom please don't take Dunk up on this offer....as we don't want to hear how cold it was while taking self portrait.
Sending some positive vibes to you .....be sure to get out of the house...watch the sun rise...and set.
had a postitive affect....fkn hillarious. BUT Hippie mom please don't take Dunk up on this offer....as we don't want to hear how cold it was while taking self portrait.
Sending some positive vibes to you .....be sure to get out of the house...watch the sun rise...and set.
with love
callen
even with the cold baby, it still looks like my elephant has elephantitis of the trunk :cool:
seriously.. no photoshop will be used to enhance my elephant... cos photoshop doesnt have the capacity to handle that many pixels baby... yeah!!!
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Yes, this post did help! Dunky, I'd give you a big hug, but I'm still sore from the surgery and I don't want to be crashing into that elephant of yours.
Public opinion seems to be divided on whether I should look at these photos, but since so many people have mentioned laughing, and it still hurts to laugh, I think I'd best hold back for now.
I don't suppose you happened to get any video of the trunk polishing, did you?
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
Yes, this post did help! Dunky, I'd give you a big hug, but I'm still sore from the surgery and I don't want to be crashing into that elephant of yours.
Public opinion seems to be divided on whether I should look at these photos, but since so many people have mentioned laughing, and it still hurts to laugh, I think I'd best hold back for now.
I don't suppose you happened to get any video of the trunk polishing, did you?
Hey! I just wanna say that you need to keep in mind that we are all here for you, fighting your corner.
Comments
You can beat it........Stay tough
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
J.M., Jr. High Band Teacher
I raise my Freak Flag High!!
Stuff like this really shows how strong someone is and I'm certain that you'll be as strong as they come.
I need to snap out of this depression bullshit and get pissed off again, it works better for me. So just keep telling me how awesome I am, haha ... maybe I'll start to believe it and act accordingly.
Something my mom would say to you, even if you don't believe in a God it always seemed to lighten the load on me from time to time:
God wouldn't give you any more than you can handle.
I'm not a very religious person but it seems to be a comforting thought. I fonly you weren't such a strong person!!!!!! Perhaps you are helping to lighten the load on someone else that might not be able to handle it.
I hope your daughter is handling this as best as she can.
Laura, I'm thinking about you all the time. I wish I could help you out of the funk you're in right now. If you wanna yell at someone, yell at me. I won't mind.
Thanks for the offer, but if I feel like yelling at someone, CorporateWhore is here all the time
No that's not good. I believe this feeling will pass because although I've never met you from all I've read from you on here, soon you're gonna get pissed and fight this.
or my new favorite, jammastae. That guy's a kick.
it IS harder to hear the 2nd time. it's just as you said...it feels as if it were all a waste of time and you did all that hard work for nil. you still don't have all your energy back from the first time...and you're just too damn tired to want to do it again. it's just such a daunting road ahead and you don't feel up to it.
as was for the numbers...screw em. they told me 4 yrs ago 6-18 months was average life expectancy. HA...showed them didn't i? current stats put me at a 16% chance of surviving this year but screw a bunch of THAT noise. i don't much feel like i wanna die this year nor do i have the time. i got things to do, kids and grandkids to love, torment n tease and a lot of tequila to drink.
these words of wisdom from my ca counselor helped me put things in perspective when i was facing yet another recurrence - "if you have one leg in the past and one leg in the future, you are pissing on today". it's hard when you're in the throes of testing and worrying....but try to keep it in mind. you are wasting valuable 'well' time moping around right now waiting on results. so get off yer depressed, yet generous, compassionate and intelligent ass, and get busy fighting.
We haven't really spoken on here, but I'm terribly sorry to hear about this. I hope you can snap out of your depression mode, and just believe that you can and will beat this.
I know it probably doesn't mean much, but we're all here to support you, and we are waiting for you to come back here and let us know that everything is ok. So try and not disappoint
But seriously, keep believing that things will get better. You kicked it once, and can do it again. Its not square one, because you are tougher now then you were then. And you'll be tougher once you get through it this time. I don't know why you have to go through this, but just keep believing in your heart that you will.
Lots of love coming your way.
y
naděje umírá poslední
Im happy to start another offensive thread if it will life your spirits! : )
A friend sent me a crap survey email thingy the other day and it said "what word do you hate?" I said CANCER!
My dad had it for 6 months then got his prostate gland cut out in June 2005. As with all cancers, of course there's a chance it can come back.
We spend billions fighting fucking wars yet don't have a cure to cancer which claims I don't know how many people each day. It shits me...it really fucking shits me.
Sorry, Hippie Mom...you probably didn't want to hear that. But I've read many of your posts and knew you had had cancer before from your posts. Didn't know where or when. Saw this thread for the first time tonight and then realised it's back. And now I'm sitting here FUCKING shitty again.
When are we going to realise that to find a cure it's going to need A LOT MORE MONEY that the cause presently has available. But noooo, the need for a neverending fucking war outweighs the need for a cure....until George Bush's fucking wife or daugher has cancer and then something might finally be done. There'd be a shitload of funding then! :mad:
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Stay strong Hippiemom!
I think this might be a great time for some election campaigners to call to your door
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
you could glue the shaved off hair to your head if you wish.... no?... it was just a thought... if you fancy it just say and i'll post them to you babes
i also have other peoples that i've collected but that might just be weird... i mean some of the colours are totally different :rolleyes:
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
And, whatever you do, DON'T look at that elephant impression picture! It will give you nightmares!
I advise: mope a little and indulge in this crazy pleasure.:)
And ditto what Abu said!
http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta
Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
i've got a strong feeling i;ll be having some PM's a coming my way
*polishes trunk for photos*
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
had a postitive affect....fkn hillarious. BUT Hippie mom please don't take Dunk up on this offer....as we don't want to hear how cold it was while taking self portrait.
Sending some positive vibes to you .....be sure to get out of the house...watch the sun rise...and set.
with love
callen
even with the cold baby, it still looks like my elephant has elephantitis of the trunk :cool:
seriously.. no photoshop will be used to enhance my elephant... cos photoshop doesnt have the capacity to handle that many pixels baby... yeah!!!
Yes, this post did help! Dunky, I'd give you a big hug, but I'm still sore from the surgery and I don't want to be crashing into that elephant of yours.
Public opinion seems to be divided on whether I should look at these photos, but since so many people have mentioned laughing, and it still hurts to laugh, I think I'd best hold back for now.
I don't suppose you happened to get any video of the trunk polishing, did you?
Hey! I just wanna say that you need to keep in mind that we are all here for you, fighting your corner.