Cyber bullying

dunkman

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I like the way it says cyber bullies COULD face up to two years in prison for threatening people. Did you read that dunk?

i did, i fail to see how it applies to me... but there you go..




p.s. give me your dinner money or i'll ping your bra strap and tell everyone you have a stinky fudd

MattCameronKicksButt

dunkman wrote:

i did, i fail to see how it applies to me... but there you go..




p.s. give me your dinner money or i'll ping your bra strap and tell everyone you have a stinky fudd

Sorry, I shouldn't have brought you into it but still,

harmless_little_f***

Does Anyone Want A Fight?

soulsinging

Jeanie wrote:

Ok but if it did affect and affect you severely what would be the best way of dealing with it? Particularly if you didn't want to leave the board?
I mean if you can see that for some it is just a way of communicating but you are very sensitive to it how does one work out strategies for dealing with it? Because I can't see that you would be able to change the behaviour of the other person, I mean it would be nice if you could get them to see it from your perspective and sometimes you can, but if the behaviour continues on and it continues to distress you, short of leaving the board what other coping strategies could a person employ?

maybe speaking directly to said bully directly to ask them to stop and explaining how what they say hurts you?

soulsinging

Jeanie wrote:

I'm not sure cate, but I think continuing to pretend it doesn't happen or that it doesn't bother people would be good place to start. I can see that you have a specific and well thought out plan that best suits you and how you deal with them and that's great. I don't and I don't think I'm the only person that doesn't so I thought it might be a good idea to discuss it. See what kinds of things other people could come up with for how they deal with it AND draw attention to the fact that some people feel that it is happening here and that others do not.

The way I see it discussion is a good thing. Particularly in this instance.

And it's completely your right to see my analogy as flawed but obviously I don't share that view. Some people are in physical danger from cyber bullies.
You may not be one of them and that's great but I don't think it's the same for everyone.

cmon... who's in physical danger here from somebody? the big thing people talk about being behind cyber bullying is the anonymity.

Heineken Helen

genie wrote:

oh yeah i remember that person, but i think he ( i'm pretty sure from what i can remember it was he ) was just looking for a fight with someone anyway.
so he started having problems with you for a silly reason and try to blow it out of proportion

Yep... is that the same thing as bullying? I don't think so... I think it was just childish and pointless but I didn't feel that it was anything anybody couldn't handle

Heineken Helen

genie wrote:

aww...that's nice : )

on this forum woman is in charge, and if she sees her offspring getting harassed she will kick you ass

no probs... seriously sometimes I'm in the mood for a good argument. So if there's someone looking for one... here I am

Also, needless to say but if anyone feels like there's something here that they can't handle or they're in above their head for whatever reason... please pm me or somebody else on the board. There's plenty of us with ears and there's no problem too silly

Heineken Helen

whitepants wrote:

Cyber bullying is very real as I have been a victim of it in a totally unrelated fandom online.

It's amazing how evil grown ass women can be so manipulative and nasty and backstabbing towards someone online who disagrees with them on an issue.

Eventually, as I adopted some internet tracking tools on a messageboard I moderated, I was able to develop a very strong idea who the persons was behind the mole attacks on my board and harrassment of me, and when I gave out enough clues about who they were and implemented more security on my board, only then did the bullying stop.

Online bullies are akin to cyber terrorists. They hide in cyber caves and use the anonymity of the internet to wreck havoc on those they simply do not like. Only until they risk being discovered is when they back off or resume a different ID to keep up the harrassment.

I understand if you don't want to talk about but could you please give an example of what would constitute cyber bullying.

Heineken Helen

genie wrote:

you do have some certain truth to your words, if it's a little kid or unstable person or both that are getting bullied then consequences can be disasterous, because when person has weak state of mind anything bad can happen. they start thinking that the whole world is against them...and then their thoughts will progressed fueled by online bullying.

but i still think it shouldn't be taken seriously in majority of cases

But then is it actually the fault of the 'bully' if they don't know about this weak state of mind? Sometimes I've said things jokingly that people have taken WAY too personally and I'm not sure if I'm at fault or are they?

MattCameronKicksButt

Heineken Helen wrote:

I understand if you don't want to talk about but could you please give an example of what would constitute cyber bullying.

Threats, insults... people ganging up... the same as the real world.

dunkman

soulsinging wrote:

cmon... who's in physical danger here from somebody?

apparently if i go to Chicago i am...

Heineken Helen

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Threats, insults... people ganging up... the same as the real world.

But I'm looking for a specific example... I've seen all of those directed at me at some stage but never once did it feel like bullying . I'm wondering if there's a whole different level that I'm not aware of? Also threats and insults are DEFINITELY reportable. Ganging up may be more difficult to prove but a direct threat or an insult, well just click on the little triangle.

dunkman

Heineken Helen wrote:

But then is it actually the fault of the 'bully' if they don't know about this weak state of mind? Sometimes I've said things jokingly that people have taken WAY too personally and I'm not sure if I'm at fault or are they?

i'm with Helen on this one.. if people are weak minded and i type something that makes them feel even shittier about themselves then thats not my problem...

many people have typed stuff at me and i give a go back but it's never directly affected me.. why would it?

even flow?

dunkman wrote:

apparently if i go to Chicago i am...

Nothing a Glasgow handshake wouldn't solve.

dunkman

even flow? wrote:

Nothing a Glasgow handshake wouldn't solve.

absolutely my friend... absolutely

soulsinging

dunkman wrote:

apparently if i go to Chicago i am...

only if you're sitting at my table. but i don't wait tables. so you're safe from me. you might get food poisoning though

MattCameronKicksButt

Heineken Helen wrote:

But I'm looking for a specific example... I've seen all of those directed at me at some stage but never once did it feel like bullying . I'm wondering if there's a whole different level that I'm not aware of? Also threats and insults are DEFINITELY reportable. Ganging up may be more difficult to prove but a direct threat or an insult, well just click on the little triangle.

Well no one's going to give a specific example are they? It's no ones place to say and no dunk, I'm not talking about you!

It's true! People get bullied on here!

Heineken Helen

dunkman wrote:

i'm with Helen on this one.. if people are weak minded and i type something that makes them feel even shittier about themselves then thats not my problem...

many people have typed stuff at me and i give a go back but it's never directly affected me.. why would it?

Exactly... I see it as a challenge

Perhaps people should undertake an emotional exam before being allowed use the internet . I know it sounds extreme but seriously I can't be to blame for people taking things personally because they have a different sense of humour to me

genie

Heineken Helen wrote:

But then is it actually the fault of the 'bully' if they don't know about this weak state of mind? Sometimes I've said things jokingly that people have taken WAY too personally and I'm not sure if I'm at fault or are they?

erm... if someone doesn't understand your joke it's their fault. however if you're going around insulting people with intent on upsetting them then you should be held responsible.

somehow i think i'm starting to sound like the English government :rolleyes: this kind of reminds me about English laws on self protection when being attacked.....physically.

dunkman

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Well no one's going to give a specific example are they? It's no ones place to say and no dunk, I'm not talking about you!

It's true! People get bullied on here!

well you could give my example but i didnt construe it as bullying.. i just thought it was someone who had a serious chip on their shoulder and used my angelic wee face in a photo to take the piss out of me... and when i contacted that person to ask say it was out of order (i did insult him back but in private not online where everyone could read it) they said i should look them up if i come to the States... which i might do... since the amount of fear i actually feel is about the size of an amoeba's g-string...

Heineken Helen

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Well no one's going to give a specific example are they? It's no ones place to say and no dunk, I'm not talking about you!

It's true! People get bullied on here!

But I can't believe that til I get a specific example... the specific example CAN be hypothetical, with fake names and maybe even something you've witnessed. I'm not trying to be a pain here but I've experienced everything people define as bullying here... and to me it feels FAR far from it.

I've been bullied in real life (nothing serious and it was only because I'd answer back and not TAKE their shit) and the best way to handle it is to get someone bigger and stronger to sort it out for ya . It was the only time I enjoyed having a big sister in school Their FACES were priceless and they were so nice to me after that. Then I got to do the same for my younger neighbour when she started school and someone tried to bully her.

Heineken Helen

genie wrote:

erm... if someone doesn't understand your joke it's their fault. however if you're going around insulting people with intent on upsetting them then you should be held responsible.

somehow i think i'm starting to sound like the English government :rolleyes: this kind of reminds me about English laws on self protection when being attacked.....physically.

I dunno, I still just can't see it. I mean if I see someone say something I don't like and I jump in with the intention of upsetting them... that makes me a bully? This is STILL too vague... far far far too vague.

Heineken Helen

dunkman wrote:

well you could give my example but i didnt construe it as bullying.. i just thought it was someone who had a serious chip on their shoulder and used my angelic wee face in a photo to take the piss out of me... and when i contacted that person to ask say it was out of order (i did insult him back but in private not online where everyone could read it) they said i should look them up if i come to the States... which i might do... since the amount of fear i actually feel is about the size of an amoeba's g-string...

Ah yes... I really believe that actually was an ATTEMPT at bullying... pitiful as it was

brainofPJ

it happens plenty here.

genie

Heineken Helen wrote:

I dunno, I still just can't see it. I mean if I see someone say something I don't like and I jump in with the intention of upsetting them... that makes me a bully? This is STILL too vague... far far far too vague.

ok....hehe i'll try to add a bit more to this situation

what if you joke, then insult them, then continue insulting them in other threads and disagreeing with them just to have an argument with them. and try to gang up others against that person? and tell them that you know who they are and will threaten to beat them up when you see them?

and that's it from me i'm out of the ideas

MattCameronKicksButt

Heineken Helen wrote:

But I can't believe that til I get a specific example... the specific example CAN be hypothetical, with fake names and maybe even something you've witnessed. I'm not trying to be a pain here but I've experienced everything people define as bullying here... and to me it feels FAR far from it.

I've been bullied in real life (nothing serious and it was only because I'd answer back and not TAKE their shit) and the best way to handle it is to get someone bigger and stronger to sort it out for ya . It was the only time I enjoyed having a big sister in school Their FACES were priceless and they were so nice to me after that. Then I got to do the same for my younger neighbour when she started school and someone tried to bully her.

Fine! I just read about five minutes ago, Mr.X say to Mr.Y that evryone hates him. Maybe it wouldn't be considered bullying if it weren't for the fact I've seen insult after insult thrown at this person.

'Bullying is persistent unwelcome behaviour, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently' -Wiki.

And dunk, I know it doesn't bother you that much, I was just reffering to the fact that in the States people could face up to two years in jail!

genie

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Fine! I just read about five minutes ago, Mr.X say to Mr.Y that evryone hates him. Maybe it wouldn't be considered bullying if it weren't for the fact I've seen insult after insult thrown at this person.

'Bullying is persistent unwelcome behaviour, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently' -Wiki.

And dunk, I know it doesn't bother you that much, I was just reffering to the fact that in the States people could face up to two years in jail!

come'on pm me those x's and y's..........please!!! i'm dying to know who they are!!

Heineken Helen

genie wrote:

ok....hehe i'll try to add a bit more to this situation

what if you joke, then insult them, then continue insulting them in other threads and disagreeing with them just to have an argument with them. and try to gang up others against that person? and tell them that you know who they are and will threaten to beat them up when you see them?

and that's it from me i'm out of the ideas

Right, well if someone tells you they know who you are and they're going to beat you up when they see you, if you think they're telling the truth you MUST report this immediately. If they're not telling the truth (I'd imagine that most people here would know if somebody actually knows how to PHYSICALLY get to them) well then they're just being stupid and it's laughable.

If someone insults you and you take it personally, this too is against board rules so you can report them also.

I've had people gang up on me... it's stupid and I can see how some people may not find it very nice. There have been instances of cliques here and the mods have done a very good job of getting rid of them. Of course cliques will always form and stupid people will always exist... but the mods may not know until you report it. If you don't feel like you can report it, at least discuss it with somebody else through pm or directly pm that person and ask if they can stop... if they refuse, ignore them.

Heineken Helen

genie wrote:

come'on pm me those x's and y's..........please!!! i'm dying to know who they are!!

Me too!

And mr. x sounds like a right bollox. Do people actually HATE people on here?

Of course everyone has people they dislike or they like less than others and they may tend to be less than nice to those people but it's just part and parcel of the whole forum thing. Ya can't have everyone like ya.

genie

Heineken Helen wrote:

Right, well if someone tells you they know who you are and they're going to beat you up when they see you, if you think they're telling the truth you MUST report this immediately. If they're not telling the truth (I'd imagine that most people here would know if somebody actually knows how to PHYSICALLY get to them) well then they're just being stupid and it's laughable.

If someone insults you and you take it personally, this too is against board rules so you can report them also.

I've had people gang up on me... it's stupid and I can see how some people may not find it very nice. There have been instances of cliques here and the mods have done a very good job of getting rid of them. Of course cliques will always form and stupid people will always exist... but the mods may not know until you report it. If you don't feel like you can report it, at least discuss it with somebody else through pm or directly pm that person and ask if they can stop... if they refuse, ignore them.

ok, thank you