Cyber bullying

catefrances

Jeanie wrote:

You're saying that ignoring it is the way to go or change your behaviour?

Ok. Can't see that being much of plan. I mean would it be ok to do that if we were talking about violence against women instead of cyber bullying?

what im saying is take control of your life and remove yourself from situations where this kind of negative behaviour is likely to occur. why subject yourself to such abuse if there is an alternative?

and we're not talking about violence towards women are we? that's an entirely different scenario and you know it.

Jeanie

Trailer wrote:

nah... I would never get mad over this forum! It's hard to show when you are joking on here though. I'm used to face to face conversations, so I'm still getting used to it here.

..and you know from my pm that I'm definitely not an Aussie:p

I sometimes wonder about that Trails. I've said things here that are perfectly normal benign comments and even considered somewhat funny here in Oz and people have ripped me a new one because they've been all offended.
I try to show when I'm joking by using the emoticons but somedays I'm just tired or I forget and you'd think I'd drowned a puppy or something the carry on that goes on.

I'm like you. I am much more a verbal communicator.

And no! There is no way you've got any Aussie in you at all!

gue_barium

Jeanie wrote:

Ok, but what gets you the title of troll?

I mean how does one become a troll and who decides that they are? And how are they different from some of the regular posters?

I dunno barak, sometimes I wonder if the whole thing is one huge misunderstanding or just a complete headfuck. People parading as legit posters and gaining kudos with everyone so that whatever they do is ok by the majority and alternatively those that don't exhibit the popular view are vilified and "expelled" I guess. I'm just musing I guess. But it seems to me that we can all behave badly around here on occassion.

I don't think there is such a thing as cyber bullying, at least not on a message board. Or, at least not on an adult level.
Politics might disagree with my view.

Jeanie

Pj_Gurl wrote:

hi jeanie

there is 'trolling' that goes on here by one person in particular on a regular basis. i wouldn't call that bullying though. bullying to me is when someone targets an individual on a continual and ruthless basis. that person gets off on seeing you react. it really doesn't even matter how you react, the fact they've successful provoked a reaction is, to this troll, a sign that their attempt at control have been successful. after that, it's a question of wearing you down. the more your try to explain, negotiate, conciliate, etc the more gratification they obtain from your increasingly desperate attempts to communicate with them. this person does not seem to target any one individual from what i have seen, they just come into threads, cause havok, sprout absolute crap then leaves and rarely comes back to answer any real questions that anyone may have about some of the things that they have said.

once you learn that it is not possible to communicate in a mature adult manner with a disordered individual who's emotionally retarded, it is easier just to ignore. sometimes that's easier said than done though.

it's also fairly easy to work out who the good people are and who the trouble makers are after lurking for a while.

as for soulsinging, i don't find his posts offensive at all. i like how he backs up what he says and is always consistent in what he believes in.

**waves across the way**

Cooee there gurl!

Yes. I understand what you're saying. I just wonder what makes it ok for people to behave that way consistently with everyone and why they'd even bother or why it continues to be worth it for them I guess. I mean I can understand people getting down to it or bickering back and forth even but to just keep going someone endlessly or attacking EVERYONE continually. I really don't get what you'd get out of it. I think if I could understand it that maybe it would make it easier to tolerate.

soulsinging

Jeanie wrote:

Ok, but what gets you the title of troll?

I mean how does one become a troll and who decides that they are? And how are they different from some of the regular posters?

I dunno barak, sometimes I wonder if the whole thing is one huge misunderstanding or just a complete headfuck. People parading as legit posters and gaining kudos with everyone so that whatever they do is ok by the majority and alternatively those that don't exhibit the popular view are vilified and "expelled" I guess. I'm just musing I guess. But it seems to me that we can all behave badly around here on occassion.

thinking of someone in particular here?

soulsinging

Jeanie wrote:

Well I guess that's fair enough except that it's all subjective isn't it?

So what you find ridiculous isn't going to be what other people find ridiculous and "having fun by exposing fools for being fools" seems to say a lot more about you than it does whomever you feel the need to be judge, jury and executioner for. But it's working for ya, so no need to regulate yourself.

you're welcome to your self-aggrandizing freudian analysis of what my posts say about me. as to the rest, i will play judge and jury, though my powers of execution are nil. not sure how it's "working" for me, it's just the way i play.

gue_barium

soulsinging wrote:

thinking of someone in particular here?

I have the same question. Jeanie, what's going on? You're having a problem with someone here?

RolandTD20Kdrummer

If differs when it becomes an ongoing personal issue between personalities where the underlying purpose is to attack the individuals character itself, rather than what the person is actually saying, or the motive is to inflict emotional distress rather than have an actual discussion. It's a bit of a fine line, but if you take the same conversation as a face to face interaction, it quickly comes into perspective when all traces of sarcasm or humor are removed from the equation. It may not be as successful online, but the intent or will to cause intentional harm, can definitely be present.

catefrances

gue_barium wrote:

I have the same question. Jeanie, what's going on? You're having a problem with someone here?

i dont have the same question cause i know the answer. and i suspect im not the only one who knows it either. however i agree with jeanie. to continually attack a particular person because of their previous posts and not contain your 'discussion' to what's relevant is as far as i can see, not a way to win an argument. of course what one deems relevant is subjective isnt it?

gue_barium

RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:

If differs when it becomes an ongoing personal issue between personalities where the underlying purpose is to attack the individuals character itself, rather than what the person is actually saying, or the motive is to inflict emotional distress rather than have an actual discussion. If you take the same conversation as a face to face conversation, it quickly comes into perspective when all traces of sarcasm or humor are removed from the equation. It may not be as successful online, but the intent, or will, to cause intentional emotional harm can definitely be present.

You've got to be kidding me.

There is a difference in knowing that there is a human to be considered in the one you are replying to, or reading, but intent and motive and all that, in words, on a personal level is something you have to be either looking for, or looking to deliver and that can only happen if you have actual personal contact with someone. Otherwise it's all BS.

Asswipe.


jk

gue_barium

catefrances wrote:

i dont have the same question cause i know the answer. and i suspect im not the only one who knows it either. however i agree with jeanie. to continually attack a particular person because of their previous posts and not contain your 'discussion' to what's relevant is as far as i can see, not a way to win an argument. of course what one deems relevant is subjective isnt it?

what one deems "bullying" is subjective.

who the hell is bullying jeanie?

RolandTD20Kdrummer

gue_barium wrote:

You've got to be kidding me.

There is a difference in knowing that there is a human to be considered in the one you are replying to, or reading, but intent and motive and all that, in words, on a personal level is something you have to be either looking for, or looking to deliver and that can only happen if you have actual personal contact with someone. Otherwise it's all BS.

Asswipe.


jk

I disagree. Treating someone like crap and acting negatively on purpose towards someone repeatedly on an intellectual level is pretty much a universal language regardless of medium.

Jeanie

Mestophar wrote:

Do you think it happens here on PJ? Yes

Do you think it happens more on one forum than the others? Yes, MT>all other forums

Have you been subject to it? Yes, OLS is bully #1 around here, sniff.

Have you found yourself doing it? Yes

What do you think we can do to eradicate it? Get rid of Jeanie. Should I start a petition?

So glad you joined us. Knock yourself out dear.

catefrances

gue_barium wrote:

what one deems "bullying" is subjective.

who the hell is bullying jeanie?

no gue, what one deems relevant is subjective.

gue_barium

RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:

I disagree. Treating someone like crap and acting negatively on purpose towards someone repeatedly on an intellectual level is pretty much a universal language regardless of medium.

If you're working on an intellectual level, then would childish verbal behavior be considered bullying? Would it even remain intellectual? What is "negative" intellectual behavior?

Jeanie

catefrances wrote:

what im saying is take control of your life and remove yourself from situations where this kind of negative behaviour is likely to occur. why subject yourself to such abuse if there is an alternative?

and we're not talking about violence towards women are we? that's an entirely different scenario and you know it.

Well I'm not seeing it as a different scenario cate.

I think there are parallels.

catefrances

Jeanie wrote:

Well I'm not seeing it as a different scenario cate.

I think there are parallels.

please elaborate.

Jeanie

gue_barium wrote:

I don't think there is such a thing as cyber bullying, at least not on a message board. Or, at least not on an adult level.
Politics might disagree with my view.

Ok. So you just see it as differences of opinion and there shouldn't be any expected codes of behaviour? Is that what you mean gue?

Jeanie

soulsinging wrote:

thinking of someone in particular here?

No actually. I can think of several people that it might apply to and I can also see how my own behaviour would fit the bill on occassion.

RolandTD20Kdrummer

gue_barium wrote:

If you're working on an intellectual level, then would childish verbal behavior be considered bullying? Would it even remain intellectual? What is "negative" intellectual behavior?

You have to be able to profile the person to recognize it.. Once the boundaries are established, it quickly becomes apparent where someone is going and for what reasons. At least for me it is. you've never had something (edit: or I should say try to) affect you negatively (and intentionally recurring) on an intellectual level?