Cyber bullying

gue_barium

catefrances wrote:

no gue, what one deems relevant is subjective.

Again I will state, at least from what I know of this message board over the years, I do not recognize cyber bullying among all of the posts I have read here. Maybe some cowardly attempts have been made, I don't know, twern't me. The hallmark of a bully is his cowardice.

So, in that sense, I think this subject of cyber bullies is subjective.

Jeanie

soulsinging wrote:

you're welcome to your self-aggrandizing freudian analysis of what my posts say about me. as to the rest, i will play judge and jury, though my powers of execution are nil. not sure how it's "working" for me, it's just the way i play.

oh for goodness sake, don't go getting your knickers in a twist.
I'm just trying to understand. Sue me if it's not working for you.

Jeanie

gue_barium wrote:

I have the same question. Jeanie, what's going on? You're having a problem with someone here?

No gue. No problem. Well no more than usual, but it is what it is I figure. I just see things going on and I wonder about them is all. And I wondered if anybody else thought cyber bullying applied here. I just see things done, or things get said, I've even managed to dengenerate to a base level myself on occassion and I'm just questioning it all I guess.

Jeanie

RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:

If differs when it becomes an ongoing personal issue between personalities where the underlying purpose is to attack the individuals character itself, rather than what the person is actually saying, or the motive is to inflict emotional distress rather than have an actual discussion. It's a bit of a fine line, but if you take the same conversation as a face to face interaction, it quickly comes into perspective when all traces of sarcasm or humor are removed from the equation. It may not be as successful online, but the intent or will to cause intentional harm, can definitely be present.

So I'm not imagining that it happens here then?

catefrances

gue_barium wrote:

Again I will state, at least from what I know of this message board over the years, I do not recognize cyber bullying among all of the posts I have read here. Maybe some cowardly attempts have been made, I don't know, twern't me. The hallmark of a bully is his cowardice.

So, in that sense, I think this subject of cyber bullies is subjective.

this is what i said:
... to continually attack a particular person because of their previous posts and not contain your 'discussion' to what's relevant is as far as i can see, not a way to win an argument. of course what one deems relevant is subjective isnt it?

im not even addressing the topic of cyberbullying as subjective or not gue. what im pointing out is relevancies to the topic at hand as being subjective.

gue_barium

RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:

You have to be able to profile the person to recognize it.. Once the boundaries are established, it quickly becomes apparent where someone is going and for what reasons. At least for me it is. you've never had something (edit: or I should say try to) affect you negatively (and intentionally recurring) on an intellectual level?

The intellect, among other things, exists for intellectualizing. Good or bad.
It's a little different than philosophizing in that intellectualizing is a part of existentialism, the now, and post for post, I think I've felt just about everything anyone could ever feel here.
We're all in the same boat. Whatever or whomever this bully is that Jeanie has plaguing her interest right now will soon be forgotten.
I should think.

Now, Cancer, that's a motherfucker of a bully. You know?

Jeanie

gue_barium wrote:

what one deems "bullying" is subjective.

who the hell is bullying jeanie?

no! no! the thread really isn't personal.

I'm just wanting clarification of a few things is all.

jamie uk

I only had a problem with one or two, you know the guys who if they disagree with you, they don't 'argue' they just say "oh suck my dick, you fairy" something like that. I took exception with that sort of behaviour, I couldn't see for the life of me why some were putting up with it, and when I eventually lost it, and called them out for it, I was inundated with pm's from people who were quite obviously scared to death of these guys, girls mostly. I was quite shocked by it, and so I'd say yes, there is a form of cyber bullying.

gue_barium

catefrances wrote:

this is what i said:
... to continually attack a particular person because of their previous posts and not contain your 'discussion' to what's relevant is as far as i can see, not a way to win an argument. of course what one deems relevant is subjective isnt it?

im not even addressing the topic of cyberbullying as subjective or not gue. what im pointing out is relevancies to the topic at hand as being subjective.

If somebody is continually attacking another here in such a derisive manner, you know as well as I we have options here.

You'e talking about the kind of person who for one reason or another is carrying a personal agenda toward another over differing topics.

I could make the case that you've abandoned the actual subject matter at hand of this topic, and decided to make it a personal matter between the two of us.

What's eating ya?

catefrances

gue_barium wrote:

If somebody is continually attacking another here in such a derisive manner, you know as well as I we have options here.

You'e talking about the kind of person who for one reason or another is carrying a personal agenda toward another over differing topics.

I could make the case that you've abandoned the actual subject matter at hand of this topic, and decided to make it a personal matter between the two of us.

What's eating ya?

you could but you'd be mistaken

p.s. nothings eating me, what's eating you?

Jeanie

catefrances wrote:

please elaborate.

Well you're saying that we have the option to walk away from the board if we are being bullied, and that's true we do. However if we are also enjoying our time spent here in other areas why should we do that? Particularly if the person being the bully is able to continue on with a new "victim", completely unfettered and still displaying the behaviour. How does the bully learn that the behaviour isn't acceptable, how do those that watch it happen and see the outcome, ie the victim walking away, as anything other than a tacit agreement that the behaviour is acceptable and the only way to stop it is by walking away?

So to me then it's kinda like saying that a woman should just pack up and run and hide if a guy is beating her even though clearly he's the one with the issue. And that she should change how she goes into the world based on his bad behaviour. Now clearly she should remove herself from harms way as soon as possible but what if there are reasons she stays? Valid reasons? Are we then saying that it's her fault for staying and not changing her circumstance or should the expectation be on the guy to stop with the hitting already?

I mean I realize that domestic violence is much more dangerous than cyber stalking for the most part and probably more prevelent too, but both instances have an agressor and a victim, and both situations seem to put an awful lot on the victim having to make changes when it's the perpertrator that needs the behaviour modification.

soulsinging

catefrances wrote:

i dont have the same question cause i know the answer. and i suspect im not the only one who knows it either. however i agree with jeanie. to continually attack a particular person because of their previous posts and not contain your 'discussion' to what's relevant is as far as i can see, not a way to win an argument. of course what one deems relevant is subjective isnt it?

i know it too. im just wondering if she's willing to out and say it rather than hinting at it.

gue_barium

catefrances wrote:

you could but you'd be mistaken

p.s. nothings eating me, what's eating you?

Well, I'm taking the side that at least here, the cyber bullying that is being touted is a bit of a myth. An interesting subject, maybe, nothing more.

You seem to have taken a more oblique angle on the matter.

Jeanie

gue_barium wrote:

The intellect, among other things, exists for intellectualizing. Good or bad.
It's a little different than philosophizing in that intellectualizing is a part of existentialism, the now, and post for post, I think I've felt just about everything anyone could ever feel here.
We're all in the same boat. Whatever or whomever this bully is that Jeanie has plaguing her interest right now will soon be forgotten.
I should think.

Now, Cancer, that's a motherfucker of a bully. You know?

No specific bully is plaguing me gue. I'm simply trying to ascertain if what I perceive as bullying is considered as such by others and also if it's not bullying why people communicate with each other the way that they do in some instances. I doubt it will be "forgotten" because the way I see it most people here are just being how they are, so I'd say that their behaviour isn't going to be changing anytime soon, which only leaves the option of examining behaviour that I find objectionable and finding ways to understand it and deal with it. I just figured if I was curious about it all that other people might be also.

RolandTD20Kdrummer

Jeanie wrote:

So I'm not imagining that it happens here then?

On the flip side, it boils down to how much one let's it affect them as well. It could very well be a method of releasing frustration(s) for some people linked other areas in their lives as they feel it's an anonymous. When a predictable pattern develops I think it equates to something different though.

soulsinging

Jeanie wrote:

I mean I realize that domestic violence is much more dangerous than cyber stalking for the most part and probably more prevelent too, but both instances have an agressor and a victim, and both situations seem to put an awful lot on the victim having to make changes when it's the perpertrator that needs the behaviour modification.

the thing is it's almost impossible to force someone to modify their behavior. it's a lost cause. you can't make someone treat you the way you want. so yes, to an extent your only resort is to walk away. now with domestic violence, there are ways to make the other person "walk away" by sending them to jail. likewise, you can ban people here and it has been done. i think the mods do a pretty good job figuring when that line is crossed.

gue_barium

Jeanie wrote:

No specific bully is plaguing me gue. I'm simply trying to ascertain if what I perceive as bullying is considered as such by others and also if it's not bullying why people communicate with each other the way that they do in some instances. I doubt it will be "forgotten" because the way I see it most people here are just being how they are, so I'd say that their behaviour isn't going to be changing anytime soon, which only leaves the option of examining behaviour that I find objectionable and finding ways to understand it and deal with it. I just figured if I was curious about it all that other people might be also.

Words are only behavior in the action of speaking. The human language is a beautiful thing.

There may be nothing more true than the old saying that, "actions speak louder than words."

catefrances

Jeanie wrote:

Well you're saying that we have the option to walk away from the board if we are being bullied, and that's true we do. However if we are also enjoying our time spent here in other areas why should we do that? Particularly if the person being the bully is able to continue on with a new "victim", completely unfettered and still displaying the behaviour. How does the bully learn that the behaviour isn't acceptable, how do those that watch it happen and see the outcome, ie the victim walking away, as anything other than a tacit agreement that the behaviour is acceptable and the only way to stop it is by walking away?

So to me then it's kinda like saying that a woman should just pack up and run and hide if a guy is beating her even though clearly he's the one with the issue. And that she should change how she goes into the world based on his bad behaviour. Now clearly she should remove herself from harms way as soon as possible but what if there are reasons she stays? Valid reasons? Are we then saying that it's her fault for staying and not changing her circumstance or should the expectation be on the guy to stop with the hitting already?

I mean I realize that domestic violence is much more dangerous than cyber stalking for the most part and probably more prevelent too, but both instances have an agressor and a victim, and both situations seem to put an awful lot on the victim having to make changes when it's the perpertrator that needs the behaviour modification.

well what would you do jeanie with a cyberbully? what do you see as the right path to follow. alls i know is what i would do. aside from burying them in words, my only alternative as i see it, is reporting them, ignoring them and removing myself from the situation.


i am in no physical danger from a cyber bully, so i see your analogy as flawed.

Drowned Out

I can't decide how I feel about this....there is a part of me that thinks cyber bullying is a joke...a total non-issue. Afterall, it's almost voluntary...

But then I remember times when I first started coming here, that I actually felt some emotions over things people said to me here...I was really fucking angry a couple times, kinda hurt other times....when someone that was part of a clique, or with "board cred" got on you about something, it felt like a way bigger deal than it was.

But then...I had no experience with the internet...I would hope, but I'm unsure, that kids these days are more able to cope with it, because it's normal...when I started here, chat rooms/forums were totally alien to me.

These days, the only time I get insecure/nervous/angry is when my posts get no response I'm not always pleasant, and I agree that this place is boring without friction...but I try to be fair...even to the people that are WAY overly personal/emotional in their posts.



PS - man does ss get his ass kissed around here....lmao @ "mental exercise"

catefrances

gue_barium wrote:

Well, I'm taking the side that at least here, the cyber bullying that is being touted is a bit of a myth. An interesting subject, maybe, nothing more.

You seem to have taken a more oblique angle on the matter.

you didnt think my thought processes were conventional did you gue?