all I can say is I think casual sex is dangerous, and I must admit I hold high esteem for those who choose NOT to participate in it.. I think in all respects that those people are wise and very respectable. ( not that those who DO engage in casual sex aren't these things, just that I don't know how one could respect themselves after just dishing themselves out like a fast food platter). Anyhow I feel it is a horrid lack of self esteem that drives one to just lie down for or with another when they know nothing about the person they lie with.. it's almost as if that is their validation, ( oh this person will sleep with me I must not be that bad sorta thing..) and that TO ME ( and I streessss that this is only MY opinion) is sad.
While this may be the case in some instances, I do not believe it is the reason most people engage in casual sex.
Sex is FUN and it FEELS GOOD!!
I think that is the biggest reason people partake in it.
i was not being very serious at all. i suppose that makes sense, but this gets into kind of a circular rut. they're out drinking, but why are they going out? usually to pick someone up. so it's kind of a confused issue of causation that doesn't really matter. what matters is the drive to go out, grab a stranger, and use them like a condom. i think that's unwise. i dont think men or women have to have low esteem to do it. but i do have to say that i have never know or spoken to a woman who went home to have sex with a guy she met only hours before... unless she was drunk. the other side is i know girls (as they go out in packs) who will go out with the intention of hooking up. if they are sober that night, they maybe make out but then nothing more than exchange numbers and would not go home with a guy... EVER. if they have been drinking they will. maybe it does lower their inhibitions, but is that good? if they are unwilling to sleep with the guy sober, why is it better to do it when your judgment is compromised? why do they need the alcohol as an excuse or a cover up?
I can understand that. Going out, getting drunk and then trying to hook up just because you are drunk is different than making sober, responsible decisions about it.
5 bucks says SS, somewhere in the back of his mind, was hoping to get some booty call from this thread...
Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
Beneath every male-female friendship is a sexual attraction; biologically speaking. Remove the psycho-cultural backdrop to our lives and there's no reason not to engage in sex with friends. Besides the STD/Pregnancy thing, but at least the person is trustworthy.
i agree it can work. some people get along enough to be friends but not to be a couple and realize that. and some don't want the bother of a relationship or need extra.
some friends bbq, go drinking or play cards, some do all that and have sex.
i agree it can work. some people get along enough to be friends but not to be a couple and realize that. and some don't want the bother of a relationship or need extra.
some friends bbq, go drinking or play cards, some do all that and have sex.
I can literally have sex with anyone and it won't change a thing. Except I'll actually be smiling for a change.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
I can literally have sex with anyone and it won't change a thing. Except I'll actually be smiling for a change.
that's cuz you're a guy. it's acceptable. as the saying goes...men fuck with their dicks...women with their hearts. it's harder for women to get over the pre-conceived convictions that good girls don't unless it's love (or at least strong like), which is why i think women use alcohol. it's easier to blame it on drink than the base instincts that society says they're not supposed to have.
I didn't read all the pages so I don't know if anyone made that point, but here it is.
I won't feel confortable with a girl who had many (many) one-night stands and casual sex experience. For many reasons, the number one being the std paranoia. So if I expect the other to have had some restraint only for my benefit the very least is to offer the same on my side.
It may be salutary sometimes but shouldn't be overindulged in (not sure that's english).
Agreed. I don't think too many people would view it as a positive if they started to date someone and found out they'd slept with 5 or 6 different people in the last year.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Agreed. I don't think too many people would view it as a positive if they started to date someone and found out they'd slept with 5 or 6 different people in the last year.
or, from the basis of the article... 5-6 people in the last 2 months... that's a different person almost every weekend.
I can understand that. Going out, getting drunk and then trying to hook up just because you are drunk is different than making sober, responsible decisions about it.
yes, but im also saying if you NEED the alcohol to facilitate or go through with the hooking up, maybe that's a mental warning flag that it's not what you really want?
Yeah, but that can still happen if you waited months to sleep with the person. Also, having sex with anyone at anytime with no regards to the negative aspects that may come along with it isn't advisable.
perhaps. but the thinking is if you've known them months you know them well enough to have a reasonable guess at what they may or may not have and some sense of equal expectations or what have you. yes, there are negatives to sex at any time, but i think there are MORE potential negatives when you know nothing more than the person's first name and favorite drink.
if a guy just walked up and said he was a gyn and wanted to examine you, you'd want to see his credentials. if someone hands you a drink at a party, you'd want to be certain of what's in it before you drink it. why is it so insane to suggest that if you're going to let someone stick their dick inside you, you might want to know who they are and just what they're bringing to the table?
perhaps. but the thinking is if you've known them months you know them well enough to have a reasonable guess at what they may or may not have and some sense of equal expectations or what have you. yes, there are negatives to sex at any time, but i think there are MORE potential negatives when you know nothing more than the person's first name and favorite drink.
if a guy just walked up and said he was a gyn and wanted to examine you, you'd want to see his credentials. if someone hands you a drink at a party, you'd want to be certain of what's in it before you drink it. why is it so insane to suggest that if you're going to let someone stick their dick inside you, you might want to know who they are and just what they're bringing to the table?
I don't get how you missed it but I said it wasn't advisable to have sex with just anybody, at anytime. Of course, this may happen from time to time throughout youth but making a habit of such behavior is wreckless. Casual sex doesn't have to mean a one night stand bar pick up. It can mean all kinds of things like hooking up with a long time crush one night, could be with a friend, could be with a person who other friends know and have spoken well of....there are so many scenarios that could fit into casual sex that have nothing to do with being a filthy whore.
Also, people lie about stds all the time and keep it under wraps for as long as they can possibly get away with.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
I don't get how you missed it but I said it wasn't advisable to have sex with just anybody, at anytime. Of course, this may happen from time to time throughout youth but making a habit of such behavior is wreckless. Casual sex doesn't have to mean a one night stand bar pick up. It can mean all kinds of things like hooking up with a long time crush one night, could be with a friend, could be with a person who other friends know and have spoken well of....there are so many scenarios that could fit into casual sex that have nothing to do with being a filthy whore.
Also, people lie about stds all the time and keep it under wraps for as long as they can possibly get away with.
then i did miss that, cos that's what i've been saying from the beginning. i think my chosen subject line was misleading. im not talking about sex without commitment, im talking about one night stands with strangers. which seem increasingly popular nowadays. and it seems like a pretty bad idea to me, for guys or girls.
i suppose people do lie about std's, but you can make someone get tested and demand the results. or presumably after months of knowing them you'd trust them enough for that not to be a concern.
I think it's sad that these young women feel stuck between a rock and a hard place here.
They need sex, they want it, but since they aren't in a relationship, they have to get it in a way that makes them depressed. The drinking is a self-medication attempt.
If there's anything good about women getting married young, it's the lack of confusion and guilt about wanting sex and getting it often.
that's cuz you're a guy. it's acceptable. as the saying goes...men fuck with their dicks...women with their hearts. it's harder for women to get over the pre-conceived convictions that good girls don't unless it's love (or at least strong like), which is why i think women use alcohol. it's easier to blame it on drink than the base instincts that society says they're not supposed to have.
I spent some time thinking about this. I don't feel like I'm "fucking with my dick". I actually feel like it's my brain. I know it sounds strange, but all my inclinations, decisions, desires, are in my brain. I don't feel in my gut, my heart, knees, etc.. I feel in my brain. With the exception of actual sensory input, like I feel getting a hard-on and having sex in my dick, but the desire comes from my brain.
This may be attributable to the fact that I know sex is good for the body and mind. It's mostly out of regard for my health that I want to have sex. The underlying chemical urge plays a role, but I fought that off for over a decade. Now I've come to the rational conclusion that abstinence is bullshit.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
I spent some time thinking about this. I don't feel like I'm "fucking with my dick". I actually feel like it's my brain. I know it sounds strange, but all my inclinations, decisions, desires, are in my brain. I don't feel in my gut, my heart, knees, etc.. I feel in my brain. With the exception of actual sensory input, like I feel getting a hard-on and having sex in my dick, but the desire comes from my brain.
This may be attributable to the fact that I know sex is good for the body and mind. It's mostly out of regard for my health that I want to have sex. The underlying chemical urge plays a role, but I fought that off for over a decade. Now I've come to the rational conclusion that abstinence is bullshit.
you needed 10 years to find out pussy aint bad?
just kidding
standin above the crowd
he had a voice that was strong and loud and
i swallowed his facade cos i'm so
eager to identify with
someone above the crowd
someone who seemed to feel the same
someone prepared to lead the way
Q: But if women don't want a relationship, shouldn't they be able to have no-strings-attached sex as easily as men?
A: They can. But just because they can doesn't mean they should.
what the hell does that mean? i can and i will. there is no should. if all i want is sex then that's all i'm gonna get. why do people have to make it so complicated with their mumbo jumbo.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
are you suggesting that it is a GOOD thing that women now are getting drunk for the sole purpose of getting the courage to do something they wouldn't be willing to do otherwise? is that a healthy sexual practice?
i've always been of the mind that if you won't do it sober, you shouldn't be doing it drunk. so i cant see how this hookup culture is a positive thing. one night stands with people you met mere hours before while under the influence is a bad idea, no matter how safe you think you're being.
getting drunk just to fuck is not my thing. but if i were drunk i wouldn't rule it out. but now that i'm older and so much more wiser i'd only drunk fuck my partner.
Is it implied that casual sex is drunk sex? I don't think that women are getting drunk to do something they would not otherwise do (well perhaps a few, but not as a general rule).
I personally agree that you should know someone more than a few hours before having sex, but even if you do, it can still be "casual." It does not have to lead to love--if people want sex that has nothing to do with love or monogamy, what do I care? Sure, you still have to be careful in this day and age, but if men can be cavalier about sex, why not women?
Q: But if women don't want a relationship, shouldn't they be able to have no-strings-attached sex as easily as men?
A: They can. But just because they can doesn't mean they should.
what the hell does that mean? i can and i will. there is no should. if all i want is sex then that's all i'm gonna get. why do people have to make it so complicated with their mumbo jumbo.
I think it's the old madonna/whore complex at work cate.
Women, even in this day and age, aren't supposed to see sex and practice sex the same way that men do.
And if they do there must be something wrong with them.
I say, male or female, whatever floats your boat. It's not for me to judge you and your sexual practices. I will concern myself with mine and I'd appreciate the same respect from others.
I think it's the old madonna/whore complex at work cate.
Women, even in this day and age, aren't supposed to see sex and practice sex the same way that men do.
And if they do there must be something wrong with them.
I say, male or female, whatever floats your boat. It's not for me to judge you and your sexual practices. I will concern myself with mine and I'd appreciate the same respect from others.
what?! madonna's a whore. i knew that.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Now I've come to the rational conclusion that abstinence is bullshit.
well done Sherlock :rolleyes: ....
oh and so have 93% of Catholic Priests
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
what's the problem? be aware, check your list and enjoy
if you hate somethin'
don't you do it too
Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
hey go easy on him. we can't all live in a country where both the boys and the girls wear skirts.
with no underwear as well...
plus it can get windy
plus we have a law enforcing female bar staff must be topless at all times and that they have to test the ice cubes out on their nipples to ensure they meet the Scottish Ice Temperature Regulations of 1969.
ok i made that last bit up... i have no idea what year it was passed :cool:
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
do you know any girl who has gone out and had a one night stand without alcohol being involved?
I do. Well sort of, there was alcohol involved, but she hadn't had any. I was taken advantage of. It was weird. . .
It doesn't matter if you're male, female, or confused; black, white, brown, red, green, yellow; gay, lesbian; redneck cop, stoned; ugly; military style, doggy style; fat, rich or poor; vegetarian or cannibal; bum, hippie, virgin; famous or drunk-you're either an asshole or you're not!
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Actually, not bad, but I just lived this illusion that casual sex was extremely bad. It was drilled into me as a youth and I never really fit into society. So I just thought only really sleazy people did it, like my dad. It turns out he's not that sleazy. But, I'm not afraid to admit that I really just didn't know that much about sex. That was one of my previous studies. Just stick a big L on my forehead.
Edit; I mean sex outside of the huge introduction to contraceptive and disease prevention the school gave in Sex Ed class. They never said "The desire for sex is extremely powerful and if not satisfied will make a person insane."
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
Comments
While this may be the case in some instances, I do not believe it is the reason most people engage in casual sex.
Sex is FUN and it FEELS GOOD!!
I think that is the biggest reason people partake in it.
I can understand that. Going out, getting drunk and then trying to hook up just because you are drunk is different than making sober, responsible decisions about it.
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg
(\__/)
( o.O)
(")_(")
i dont think anyone around here is dumb enough to take that bet.
to dust i guess,
forgotten and absorbed into the earth below,..
i agree it can work. some people get along enough to be friends but not to be a couple and realize that. and some don't want the bother of a relationship or need extra.
some friends bbq, go drinking or play cards, some do all that and have sex.
I can literally have sex with anyone and it won't change a thing. Except I'll actually be smiling for a change.
Agreed. I don't think too many people would view it as a positive if they started to date someone and found out they'd slept with 5 or 6 different people in the last year.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
well, it wasnt in the back of my mind, but if it's going to get me offers im not gonna say no
or, from the basis of the article... 5-6 people in the last 2 months... that's a different person almost every weekend.
yes, but im also saying if you NEED the alcohol to facilitate or go through with the hooking up, maybe that's a mental warning flag that it's not what you really want?
perhaps. but the thinking is if you've known them months you know them well enough to have a reasonable guess at what they may or may not have and some sense of equal expectations or what have you. yes, there are negatives to sex at any time, but i think there are MORE potential negatives when you know nothing more than the person's first name and favorite drink.
if a guy just walked up and said he was a gyn and wanted to examine you, you'd want to see his credentials. if someone hands you a drink at a party, you'd want to be certain of what's in it before you drink it. why is it so insane to suggest that if you're going to let someone stick their dick inside you, you might want to know who they are and just what they're bringing to the table?
I don't get how you missed it but I said it wasn't advisable to have sex with just anybody, at anytime. Of course, this may happen from time to time throughout youth but making a habit of such behavior is wreckless. Casual sex doesn't have to mean a one night stand bar pick up. It can mean all kinds of things like hooking up with a long time crush one night, could be with a friend, could be with a person who other friends know and have spoken well of....there are so many scenarios that could fit into casual sex that have nothing to do with being a filthy whore.
Also, people lie about stds all the time and keep it under wraps for as long as they can possibly get away with.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
then i did miss that, cos that's what i've been saying from the beginning. i think my chosen subject line was misleading. im not talking about sex without commitment, im talking about one night stands with strangers. which seem increasingly popular nowadays. and it seems like a pretty bad idea to me, for guys or girls.
i suppose people do lie about std's, but you can make someone get tested and demand the results. or presumably after months of knowing them you'd trust them enough for that not to be a concern.
They need sex, they want it, but since they aren't in a relationship, they have to get it in a way that makes them depressed. The drinking is a self-medication attempt.
If there's anything good about women getting married young, it's the lack of confusion and guilt about wanting sex and getting it often.
I spent some time thinking about this. I don't feel like I'm "fucking with my dick". I actually feel like it's my brain. I know it sounds strange, but all my inclinations, decisions, desires, are in my brain. I don't feel in my gut, my heart, knees, etc.. I feel in my brain. With the exception of actual sensory input, like I feel getting a hard-on and having sex in my dick, but the desire comes from my brain.
This may be attributable to the fact that I know sex is good for the body and mind. It's mostly out of regard for my health that I want to have sex. The underlying chemical urge plays a role, but I fought that off for over a decade. Now I've come to the rational conclusion that abstinence is bullshit.
you needed 10 years to find out pussy aint bad?
just kidding
he had a voice that was strong and loud and
i swallowed his facade cos i'm so
eager to identify with
someone above the crowd
someone who seemed to feel the same
someone prepared to lead the way
A: They can. But just because they can doesn't mean they should.
what the hell does that mean? i can and i will. there is no should. if all i want is sex then that's all i'm gonna get. why do people have to make it so complicated with their mumbo jumbo.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
getting drunk just to fuck is not my thing. but if i were drunk i wouldn't rule it out. but now that i'm older and so much more wiser
i do.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I'm with you.
I completely agree.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
I think it's the old madonna/whore complex at work cate.
Women, even in this day and age, aren't supposed to see sex and practice sex the same way that men do.
And if they do there must be something wrong with them.
I say, male or female, whatever floats your boat. It's not for me to judge you and your sexual practices. I will concern myself with mine and I'd appreciate the same respect from others.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
what?! madonna's a whore. i knew that.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
And half her luck I say!!!!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
well done Sherlock :rolleyes: ....
oh and so have 93% of Catholic Priests
hey go easy on him. we can't all live in a country where both the boys and the girls wear skirts.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
if you hate somethin'
don't you do it too
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
with no underwear as well...
plus it can get windy
plus we have a law enforcing female bar staff must be topless at all times and that they have to test the ice cubes out on their nipples to ensure they meet the Scottish Ice Temperature Regulations of 1969.
ok i made that last bit up... i have no idea what year it was passed :cool:
I do. Well sort of, there was alcohol involved, but she hadn't had any. I was taken advantage of. It was weird. . .
-C Addison
he didnt mention 'pussy'...
Actually, not bad, but I just lived this illusion that casual sex was extremely bad. It was drilled into me as a youth and I never really fit into society. So I just thought only really sleazy people did it, like my dad. It turns out he's not that sleazy. But, I'm not afraid to admit that I really just didn't know that much about sex. That was one of my previous studies. Just stick a big L on my forehead.
Edit; I mean sex outside of the huge introduction to contraceptive and disease prevention the school gave in Sex Ed class. They never said "The desire for sex is extremely powerful and if not satisfied will make a person insane."