Haha, I don't know her anymore. Besides she hooked up with a guy I knew. I'm trying to get to know this redhead now, I got a damn thing for redheads man. Every time I see this girl I actually feel something, lol. I've talked to her a couple times now, but I'm like 7 years older than her, but she doesn't seem to care.
Today I went to the restaurant she works at and read my horoscope on one of those coffee time things. It read "If you are attempting romance this week, the intended person is in a good mood." or something like that. So I asked her "Are you in a good mood?" and she said "Kind of" so I told her what the horoscope read and she said "If you come back tomorrow I'll be in a better mood". Even though I want to do her really bad. I feel like I'd be violating her in some way.
you're nuts. not only is she hot, redheaded, and barely legal, she clearly wants freaky sex. you can't pass that up. it's just plain wrong. here i am, setting world records for wrist workouts, and you're letting opportunities like that go by... i cant take this. im going to bed!
ha..ha...I guess that's my feeling about most men. I wasnt saying it because of the "cultural connotation" In my experience it's true most of the time.
Nice stereotype "Guys will fuck anything that walks"
That is a cultural stereotype and I don't agree with it. Being a man that has had less partners than all the girls I've ever slept with.
I've had 9 partners. The last person I was with had like 25.
This super hot redheaded nymphomaniac kept harassing me to have nasty sex with her, no word of a lie. She worked with my dad and gave him a condom to give me to "use on her" and she called on my birthday saying "Your Dad said it's your birthday. I got a present for you, let me know when to deliver it." and I replied "I think my father knows me well enough to tell you I wouldn't be interested, but in-case he didn't, I'm really not interested. Sorry."
But then if you go out to a bar, what do you expect to find? I'm not an anomoly, but guys like me go to the bar maybe once a month. I haven't been in almost a year. I'm 25 now and my perspective has changed after a few relationships that started mostly on sex and developed into some kind of fucked up love/hate relationship. I'd abstain from dating and sex for years at a time, waiting for "the one" and she never happened. I'd end up getting into these crappy relationships because I was lonely and dying for sex. I figure it's better to have casual sex while waiting for Mrs. Right. And all this crap about harming your body is absolute rubbish. Sex is good for the body and mind, you just have to be cautious of disease which is preventable. It's the unexpected episodes of lust out of loneliness that lead to unprotected sex.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
decides2dream, I swear, were I single
Lovely post.
But ss, dont you think you may be overestimating the importance and prevalence of this "hook-up culture"? This thread did start with a reactionary woman lamenting general moral decay of society (while being a hypocrite). It's not hard to misunderstand your intent from there.
And indeed, if you exclude fuck friends and the not-exactly-serious relationships, then honestly, I dont think there is much left, far less to be called a "culture" if it's just something that people may do a couple of times in their lifetimes.
I could go on, but d2d said it for me already.
Peace
Dan
hehehe...if only i were too ....and younger. although perhaps better being older? eh seriously, i too 'get' the point here...but i honestly don't think there is a large percentage of people engaging in such behavior.....and even those who do, like anything else.....they aren't going to be swayed by some article, or some moralizing/preaching here. besides, i really doubt there are many, if any, whe frequent this board who have such a 'problem' in any case.
so yea, i think the article is overinflated and rather reactionary...with not much to back it up. one night stands, casual sex, even longterm relationships....ALL can lead to regret, to pregnancy, to stds, etc....beyond abstinence, there's no way to guarantee a pass with any of those issues. also, i simply think anyone who engages in such behavior on a regular basis, if it really was detrimental to their psyche, they'll eventually realize it and stop...it's not like an addiction per se. anyone who still engages in such behavior after realizing how it may damage them, well then, simply gluttons for punishment? basically, i get the idea, the premise of it....but beyond being preachy, i just don't see much point. so sure, i support anyone's 'right' to discuss the issue, to speak out...i just think at best, it's futlie. anyone who wants to engage in such behavior....simply will. not much here to dissuade them, beyond some vague idea of possible 'regret' of it. all other issues simply come with having a sexual partner, period.
edit - as per libra's post: i know there are sexual addicts, simply saying those who wqillingly choose to engage in one night stands, casual sex, that in and of itself does not signify an 'addiction' and thus, in and of itself, does not mean it is harmful. that's all. thus why i added 'per se' at the end of that comment.
hehehe...if only i were too ....and younger. although perhaps better being older? eh seriously, i too 'get' the point here...but i honestly don't think there is a large percentage of people engaging in such behavior.....and even those who do, like anything else.....they aren't going to be swayed by some article, or some moralizing/preaching here. besides, i really doubt there are many, if any, whe frequent this board who have such a 'problem' in any case.
so yea, i think the article is overinflated and rather reactionary...with not much to back it up. one night stands, casual sex, even longterm relationships....ALL can lead to regret, to pregnancy, to stds, etc....beyond abstinence, there's no way to guarantee a pass with any of those issues. also, i simply think anyone who engages in such behavior on a regular basis, if it really was detrimental to their psyche, they'll eventually realize it and stop...it's not like an addiction per se. anyone who still engages in such behavior after realizing how it may damage them, well then, simply gluttons for punishment? basically, i get the idea, the premise of it....but beyond being preachy, i just don't see much point. so sure, i support anyone's 'right' to discuss the issue, to speak out...i just think at best, it's futlie. anyone who wants to engage in such behavior....simply will. not much here to dissuade them, beyond some vague idea of possible 'regret' of it. all other issues simply come with having a sexual partner, period.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
then what is the issue here? this is exactly what i've been saying since page one. i've admitted my subject line was misleading. im talking about hookup culture... going home with total strangers you meet at the bar or whatever. i was not implying you should never have sex outside of a relationship or you're a whore. i see nothing wrong with responsible and honest decisions to engage in casual sex. it's not the lifestyle i want anymore, but if other people enjoy it, more power to them. it's the fucking total strangers that seems ridiculous to me, for men or women.
I didn't realize there was an "issue". Sorry if it came across that way. I was just curious about your self-esteem comment so that's why I quoted you in my original reply to the topic.
I actually read this q & a in glamour magazine. Very interesting indeed. Now grant you I'm no prude but it's appalling how women that are 10 years younger then me most likely has double the sexual partners I've had. This whole "friends with benefits" thing...I don't get it. If you want to get your rocks off just buy a vibrator..have some respect for yourselves...Of course guys will fuck anything that walks..but is he really going to want to marry someone who screwed a million people? and if so would you want to be with someone like that?
See this is where I have problems. "have some respect for yourselves". Why isn't it possible to have "friends with benefits" and not have any self-respect? Are you really comparing a vibrator to the act of sex with another person? I must have purchased the wrong friggin one then because its not even close to the same thing. And having casual sex doesn't mean you have screwed a million people as you say.
im not trying to pass judgment on anyone. but does the fact that people should learn their own journey mean we should never tell kids drugs are dangerous, cos it's their journey and they will learn from it? im not advocating regulating behavior or judging people based on it. im talking about open dialogue and encouraging healthy choices and honesty. my point was that people lie to themselves often, cos a lot of their input comes from confused adolescent friends or pop media or puritanical idelogues. when what we really need is to encourage people to talk frankly about sex and be honest with themselves about what they want from it. everyone is going to make mistakes, but that doesn't mean we can't make an effort to minimize them by talking with our friends or children about what our values truly are.
I didn't think that you were trying to pass judgement ss. I think your views here have been fairly balanced. And I agree that a lot of education and communication can only be a good thing when it comes to sex. I'm just wondering, not being a smart arse, but do you talk to your parents about sex? Because I know it's a fairly stilted conversation with mine, even to this day. And I can't stand it when my brother and his wife start talking about it either. And I think this is part of the problem. We need to remember that we are sexual beings. And not be in denial about that. I just think it's human nature to want to have sex and maybe it's also human nature not to talk about it very well. I don't know, I think what you are advocating sounds awesome, I'm just not really sure that we can achieve it.
Evidently, you are taking what I said personally. No offense, but I can't see how anyone can't equate someone who continuously has meaningless sex with self-respect issues. Surely you are intelligent enough to see how the use of "a million people" was used as sarcasm? I dont even know where you got me comparing the act of sex to the use of a the vibrator If you are looking for love from your vibrator I do suggest you buy a new one. This is why I mostly refrain from posting on this forum I find a lot of people's views and opinions are misintepreted.
See this is where I have problems. "have some respect for yourselves". Why isn't it possible to have "friends with benefits" and not have any self-respect? Are you really comparing a vibrator to the act of sex with another person? I must have purchased the wrong friggin one then because its not even close to the same thing. And having casual sex doesn't mean you have screwed a million people as you say.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
Evidently, you are taking what I said personally. No offense, but I can't see how anyone can't equate someone who continuously has meaningless sex with self-respect issues. Surely you are intelligent enough to see how the use of "a million people" was used as sarcasm? I dont even know where you got me comparing the act of sex to the use of a the vibrator If you are looking for love from your vibrator I do suggest you buy a new one. This is why I mostly refrain from posting on this forum I find a lot of people's views and opinions are misintepreted.
I'm not taking it personally at all. I just think that what you said was too generalized. Sure there are people out there that continously have meaningless sex and have self-esteem issues but not everyone. I don't think having a "friend with benefits' is the same as having random sex with multiple partners, i.e. one night stands. Yes, I know you didn't literally mean a million people but even if you just meant 50 it still doesn't mean that if you have casual sex you have that many partners. Now when I say casual, I mean no-strings attached, responsible sex, not one-night drunk hook-ups. And I got the sex/vibrator comparison from you saying "If you want to get your rocks off just buy a vibrator...". I didn't see where you mentioned love and I definitely wasn't talking about love. Sex does not equal love.
I'm not taking it personally at all. I just think that what you said was too generalized. Sure there are people out there that continously have meaningless sex and have self-esteem issues but not everyone. I don't think having a "friend with benefits' is the same as having random sex with multiple partners, i.e. one night stands. Yes, I know you didn't literally mean a million people but even if you just meant 50 it still doesn't mean that if you have casual sex you have that many partners. Now when I say casual, I mean no-strings attached, responsible sex, not one-night drunk hook-ups. And I got the sex/vibrator comparison from you saying "If you want to get your rocks off just buy a vibrator...". I didn't see where you mentioned love and I definitely wasn't talking about love. Sex does not equal love.
Im sure my upbringing has affected my views, I was brought up with the idea that sex was sacred and was to be shared with someone you were in love with. So that's where the whole getting "using a vibrator to get your rocks off" statement stemmed from. But yeah I realize that I'm in minority in my views. I really don't feel like I have to defend my values and morals. But yeah sorry if I presented my views as generalizations.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
Sex doesn't have to have anything to do with losing self respect unless you're letting someone use you while you want something else. How can the physical act of sex, which feels good and releases built up tension, cause a person to lose respect?
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
How can I explain that to someone who has a completely different mindset. If you read my post before your's it explains why I feel that way. I don't care what people do, as long as your not hurting anyone. Go head and have your series of meaningless fucks..who can it hurt..It feels good right?
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
Im sure my upbringing has affected my views, I was brought up with the idea that sex was sacred and was to be shared with someone you were in love with. So that's where the whole getting "using a vibrator to get your rocks off" statement stemmed from. But yeah I realize that I'm in minority in my views. I really don't feel like I have to defend my values and morals. But yeah sorry if I presented my views as generalizations.
You don't have to defend your values or morals and I wasn't attacking them. I was just voicing my disagreement with your comments about self-respect and friends with benefits.
What men really want out of a relationship is a blowjob and a sandwich...
Was that Chris Rock or Chapelle?
Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
How can I explain that to someone who has a completely different mindset. If you read my post before your's it explains why I feel that way. I don't care what people do, as long as your not hurting anyone. Go head and have your series of meaningless fucks..who can it hurt..It feels good right?
You were doing so well until "who can it hurt..it feels good right". That part seems a little condescending whether you meant it that way or not. Just an FYI. And as far as this forum goes..it can be a little brutal at times and I take breaks a lot but its all about the debate.
How can I explain that to someone who has a completely different mindset. If you read my post before your's it explains why I feel that way. I don't care what people do, as long as your not hurting anyone. Go head and have your series of meaningless fucks..who can it hurt..It feels good right?
Different strokes, different folks. It seems more demeaning to me to stick a wiggly piece of plastic up there and play pretend.
It's not about sleeping with many people. It's about not limiting yourself due to other people's opinions of you. Do what makes you happy and keep the other person's feelings in mind while doing it.
Also about the 'why would a guy want to marry someone who has been with X amount of people'. Why would anyone want to marry a person who makes decisions like that not out of love but out of judgements of ones past? Love in unconditional so that guy could fuck off. I wouldn't give someone like that the time of day. I don't make decisions for myself wondering if so and so would approve. If I want advice, I'll ask the people who know and love me. I know their advice won't be based on silly judgements and ego.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
You were doing so well until "who can it hurt..it feels good right". That part seems a little condescending whether you meant it that way or not. Just an FYI. And as far as this forum goes..it can be a little brutal at times and I take breaks a lot but its all about the debate.
Well yeah that was sarcasm for abookamongsthemany. It was meant to be condescending.
Yeah I understand the brutal part. I rarely go on here, but sometimes I can't resist.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
I have more respect for people who are in touch with their sexuality and understand it is a natural and positive part of our human nature; than people who are all uptight and fret over sexuality.
Understanding sensuality, sexuality and our realistic nature as human beings, seems more positive to me. Understanding our individual bodies and the amazing sensuality we're capable of, is a positive thing. When people orgasm there are hormones released that heal us in many ways. It's good for the body, mind and soul.
I have found people with issues/hang-ups about their sexuality and sex in general; to be negative and destructive in their intimate relationships. Just my personal experience.
I'm not advocating that people sleep with everyone and anyone all the time.
But as long as no one is getting forced or hurt and they want to be intimate; I think that's a positive thing. There's so many negative and hurtful things (and people) in life; two people loving each other, making each other feel good and sharing themselves with each other; seems like a very good thing. I don't understand how that can be a bad thing. Even moreso if you compare it to some of the terrible things going on in the world.
I have more respect for people who are in touch with their sexuality and understand it is a natural and positive part of our human nature; than people who are all uptight and fret over sexuality.
Understanding sensuality, sexuality and our realistic nature as human beings, seems more positive to me. Understanding our individual bodies and the amazing sensuality we're capable of, is a positive thing. When people orgasm there are hormones released that heal us in many ways. It's good for the body, mind and soul.
I have found people with issues/hang-ups about their sexuality and sex in general; to be negative and destructive in their intimate relationships. Just my personal experience.
I'm not advocating that people sleep with everyone and anyone all the time.
But as long as no one is getting forced or hurt and they want to be intimate; I think that's a positive thing. There's so many negative and hurtful things (and people) in life; two people loving each other, making each other feel good and sharing themselves with each other; seems like a very good thing. I don't understand how that can be a bad thing. Even moreso if you compare it to some of the terrible things going on in the world.
I completely agree.
It seems people are much more content these days to tear each other part than to love each other for who we all are as individuals and embrace the different ways we choose to live our lives as a beautiful thing to behold. It's humanity at it's best.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
But why? Because we disagree? I didn't really get what you meant to say by that remark.
I'm really not trying to judge how other's act. I just feel that I'm a rarity in this day and age. I have gone many,many years without having any type of sex...not including masturbation. I just didn't want to have some empty souless sex cuz i was horny. I equate this to having self respect. So yeah i was being sarcastic with the go head and have a series of meaningless fucks...I just have strong opinions on this subject. Sorry didnt mean to be rude.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
This may be off topic..but there are people who are addicted to sex. But that's a topic for another thread.
Yea, they are addicted to the biochemistry.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
But does being in touch with your sexuality mean you need to have many sexual partner? So if someone had limited sexual experience would that mean they are uptight?
The reason I feel how I do about people who engage in casual sex is because most people I know or heard talking about their exploits seem unhappy and lost. I personally never seen any positivity demonstrated by these type of unions. Then again I'm sure their are people that have the a certain psyche where it doesn't affect them. I just never met those type of people.
I have more respect for people who are in touch with their sexuality and understand it is a natural and positive part of our human nature; than people who are all uptight and fret over sexuality.
Understanding sensuality, sexuality and our realistic nature as human beings, seems more positive to me. Understanding our individual bodies and the amazing sensuality we're capable of, is a positive thing. When people orgasm there are hormones released that heal us in many ways. It's good for the body, mind and soul.
I have found people with issues/hang-ups about their sexuality and sex in general; to be negative and destructive in their intimate relationships. Just my personal experience.
I'm not advocating that people sleep with everyone and anyone all the time.
But as long as no one is getting forced or hurt and they want to be intimate; I think that's a positive thing. There's so many negative and hurtful things (and people) in life; two people loving each other, making each other feel good and sharing themselves with each other; seems like a very good thing. I don't understand how that can be a bad thing. Even moreso if you compare it to some of the terrible things going on in the world.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
I'm really not trying to judge how other's act. I just feel that I'm a rarity in this day and age. I have gone many,many years without having any type of sex...not including masturbation. I just didn't want to have some empty souless sex cuz i was horny. I equate this to having self respect. So yeah i was being sarcastic with the go head and have a series of meaningless fucks...I just have strong opinions on this subject. Sorry didnt mean to be rude.
I understand having strong opinions, believe me. I'm just trying to understand what the basis is for such a strong opinion about other people's choices when they aren't harming anyone else. If it's not your thing, that's cool...but I have plenty of self respect, I love me to bits and don't see a problem with engaging in mutual, physical relations with another person without love being involved. It does feel good and why is that a problem? I understand that some view it as 'holy' or 'sacred' but obviously not all do. So if it's just an act that feels good and is enjoyable for ME, where is this respect issue coming in? I think you're conveying your feelings about sex and what it means to you onto others who don't share your perspective. Whenever that happens, there's always going to be a problem.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
But does being in touch with your sexuality mean you need to have many sexual partner? So if someone had limited sexual experience would that mean they are uptight?
The reason I feel how I do about people who engage in casual sex is because most people I know or heard talking about their exploits seem unhappy and lost. I personally never seen any positivity demonstrated by these type of unions. Then again I'm sure their are people that have the a certain psyche where it doesn't affect them. I just never met those type of people.
thats because individuals with "strong opinions" like yours have created a negative connotation surrounding 'the other' types of sexual-lifestyles beyond what judeo-christian culture has promoted as "natural" or "good".
this discussion continues to be fascinating. and let me join the possimists in expressing how refreshing it is that so many here are strong enough to hold their views and to share, regardless of the strength of whatever opposite views are also expressed. i think it really must be true that the best thing about pj is the "fan club" [loosely speaking].
we don’t know just where our bones will rest,
to dust i guess,
forgotten and absorbed into the earth below,..
I understand having strong opinions, believe me. I'm just trying to understand what the basis is for such a strong opinion about other people's choices when they aren't harming anyone else. If it's not your thing, that's cool...but I have plenty of self respect, I love me to bits and don't see a problem with engaging in mutual, physical relations with another person without love being involved. It does feel good and why is that a problem? I understand that some view it as 'holy' or 'sacred' but obviously not all do. So if it's just an act that feels good and is enjoyable for ME, where is this respect issue coming in? I think you're conveying your feelings about sex and what it means to you onto others who don't share your perspective. Whenever that happens, there's always going to be a problem.
Well I don't mean to convey my feeling onto others. I understand people approach this issue differently. As for the self respect part, I'm sure my religious upbringing affected me. I just find it appalling when people discuss their promiscuity in public forums and not think anything of it. It just seems irresponsible. I just feel that you should keep it to yourself. I'm not going to make a thread that says "hey I'm celebate, anyone else not getting any?" Why do we need to know about people's sex lives?
sorry for the rant....
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
Comments
you're nuts. not only is she hot, redheaded, and barely legal, she clearly wants freaky sex. you can't pass that up. it's just plain wrong. here i am, setting world records for wrist workouts, and you're letting opportunities like that go by... i cant take this. im going to bed!
hehehe...if only i were too
so yea, i think the article is overinflated and rather reactionary...with not much to back it up. one night stands, casual sex, even longterm relationships....ALL can lead to regret, to pregnancy, to stds, etc....beyond abstinence, there's no way to guarantee a pass with any of those issues. also, i simply think anyone who engages in such behavior on a regular basis, if it really was detrimental to their psyche, they'll eventually realize it and stop...it's not like an addiction per se. anyone who still engages in such behavior after realizing how it may damage them, well then, simply gluttons for punishment? basically, i get the idea, the premise of it....but beyond being preachy, i just don't see much point. so sure, i support anyone's 'right' to discuss the issue, to speak out...i just think at best, it's futlie. anyone who wants to engage in such behavior....simply will. not much here to dissuade them, beyond some vague idea of possible 'regret' of it. all other issues simply come with having a sexual partner, period.
edit - as per libra's post: i know there are sexual addicts, simply saying those who wqillingly choose to engage in one night stands, casual sex, that in and of itself does not signify an 'addiction' and thus, in and of itself, does not mean it is harmful. that's all.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I didn't realize there was an "issue". Sorry if it came across that way. I was just curious about your self-esteem comment so that's why I quoted you in my original reply to the topic.
See this is where I have problems. "have some respect for yourselves". Why isn't it possible to have "friends with benefits" and not have any self-respect? Are you really comparing a vibrator to the act of sex with another person? I must have purchased the wrong friggin one then because its not even close to the same thing. And having casual sex doesn't mean you have screwed a million people as you say.
I didn't think that you were trying to pass judgement ss. I think your views here have been fairly balanced. And I agree that a lot of education and communication can only be a good thing when it comes to sex. I'm just wondering, not being a smart arse, but do you talk to your parents about sex? Because I know it's a fairly stilted conversation with mine, even to this day. And I can't stand it when my brother and his wife start talking about it either. And I think this is part of the problem. We need to remember that we are sexual beings. And not be in denial about that. I just think it's human nature to want to have sex and maybe it's also human nature not to talk about it very well. I don't know, I think what you are advocating sounds awesome, I'm just not really sure that we can achieve it.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
I'm not taking it personally at all. I just think that what you said was too generalized. Sure there are people out there that continously have meaningless sex and have self-esteem issues but not everyone. I don't think having a "friend with benefits' is the same as having random sex with multiple partners, i.e. one night stands. Yes, I know you didn't literally mean a million people but even if you just meant 50 it still doesn't mean that if you have casual sex you have that many partners. Now when I say casual, I mean no-strings attached, responsible sex, not one-night drunk hook-ups. And I got the sex/vibrator comparison from you saying "If you want to get your rocks off just buy a vibrator...". I didn't see where you mentioned love and I definitely wasn't talking about love. Sex does not equal love.
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Im sure my upbringing has affected my views, I was brought up with the idea that sex was sacred and was to be shared with someone you were in love with. So that's where the whole getting "using a vibrator to get your rocks off" statement stemmed from. But yeah I realize that I'm in minority in my views. I really don't feel like I have to defend my values and morals. But yeah sorry if I presented my views as generalizations.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
he..he...yeah now I know why i rarely post in this forum. sheesh....:p
You don't have to defend your values or morals and I wasn't attacking them. I was just voicing my disagreement with your comments about self-respect and friends with benefits.
Was that Chris Rock or Chapelle?
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg
(\__/)
( o.O)
(")_(")
You were doing so well until "who can it hurt..it feels good right". That part seems a little condescending whether you meant it that way or not. Just an FYI.
Different strokes, different folks. It seems more demeaning to me to stick a wiggly piece of plastic up there and play pretend.
It's not about sleeping with many people. It's about not limiting yourself due to other people's opinions of you. Do what makes you happy and keep the other person's feelings in mind while doing it.
Also about the 'why would a guy want to marry someone who has been with X amount of people'. Why would anyone want to marry a person who makes decisions like that not out of love but out of judgements of ones past? Love in unconditional so that guy could fuck off. I wouldn't give someone like that the time of day. I don't make decisions for myself wondering if so and so would approve. If I want advice, I'll ask the people who know and love me. I know their advice won't be based on silly judgements and ego.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
Well yeah that was sarcasm for abookamongsthemany. It was meant to be condescending.
Yeah I understand the brutal part. I rarely go on here, but sometimes I can't resist.
But why? Because we disagree? I didn't really get what you meant to say by that remark.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
Understanding sensuality, sexuality and our realistic nature as human beings, seems more positive to me. Understanding our individual bodies and the amazing sensuality we're capable of, is a positive thing. When people orgasm there are hormones released that heal us in many ways. It's good for the body, mind and soul.
I have found people with issues/hang-ups about their sexuality and sex in general; to be negative and destructive in their intimate relationships. Just my personal experience.
I'm not advocating that people sleep with everyone and anyone all the time.
But as long as no one is getting forced or hurt and they want to be intimate; I think that's a positive thing. There's so many negative and hurtful things (and people) in life; two people loving each other, making each other feel good and sharing themselves with each other; seems like a very good thing. I don't understand how that can be a bad thing. Even moreso if you compare it to some of the terrible things going on in the world.
I completely agree.
It seems people are much more content these days to tear each other part than to love each other for who we all are as individuals and embrace the different ways we choose to live our lives as a beautiful thing to behold. It's humanity at it's best.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
I think that's something most of us could work on. I know I could.
I'm really not trying to judge how other's act. I just feel that I'm a rarity in this day and age. I have gone many,many years without having any type of sex...not including masturbation. I just didn't want to have some empty souless sex cuz i was horny. I equate this to having self respect. So yeah i was being sarcastic with the go head and have a series of meaningless fucks...I just have strong opinions on this subject. Sorry didnt mean to be rude.
Yea, they are addicted to the biochemistry.
The reason I feel how I do about people who engage in casual sex is because most people I know or heard talking about their exploits seem unhappy and lost. I personally never seen any positivity demonstrated by these type of unions. Then again I'm sure their are people that have the a certain psyche where it doesn't affect them. I just never met those type of people.
I understand having strong opinions, believe me. I'm just trying to understand what the basis is for such a strong opinion about other people's choices when they aren't harming anyone else. If it's not your thing, that's cool...but I have plenty of self respect, I love me to bits
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
chris rock: "feed me, fuck me, shut the fuck up."
thats because individuals with "strong opinions" like yours have created a negative connotation surrounding 'the other' types of sexual-lifestyles beyond what judeo-christian culture has promoted as "natural" or "good".
this discussion continues to be fascinating. and let me join the possimists in expressing how refreshing it is that so many here are strong enough to hold their views and to share, regardless of the strength of whatever opposite views are also expressed. i think it really must be true that the best thing about pj is the "fan club" [loosely speaking].
to dust i guess,
forgotten and absorbed into the earth below,..
Well I don't mean to convey my feeling onto others. I understand people approach this issue differently. As for the self respect part, I'm sure my religious upbringing affected me. I just find it appalling when people discuss their promiscuity in public forums and not think anything of it. It just seems irresponsible. I just feel that you should keep it to yourself. I'm not going to make a thread that says "hey I'm celebate, anyone else not getting any?" Why do we need to know about people's sex lives?
sorry for the rant....