casual sex

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  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    I really resent that. To me it is negative..sorry I'm not going to apologize for it. I have a lot of evidence it is. Sex is a sacred and special thing, your body is. You really don't know me so you cannot clump me with some kind of preconceived idea you have of people who share my views. I just happen not to share the popular view on this issue. Maybe Im just a big prude..huh?
    thats because individuals with "strong opinions" like yours have created a negative connotation surrounding 'the other' types of sexual-lifestyles beyond what judeo-christian culture has promoted as "natural" or "good".

    this discussion continues to be fascinating. and let me join the possimists in expressing how refreshing it is that so many here are strong enough to hold their views and to share, regardless of the strength of whatever opposite views are also expressed. i think it really must be true that the best thing about pj is the "fan club" [loosely speaking].
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    Ahnimus wrote:
    Yea, they are addicted to the biochemistry.

    well yes..it's like any addiction.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • libragirl wrote:
    But does being in touch with your sexuality mean you need to have many sexual partner?

    It can but it doesn't have to. Someone can enjoy ice cream without over eating it or having it daily, as well. Doing too much of anything can cause harm.
    libragirl wrote:
    So if someone had limited sexual experience would that mean they are uptight?

    No, they can be but it doesn't mean they all are. Generalizations are dumb and pointless.

    libragirl wrote:
    The reason I feel how I do about people who engage in casual sex is because most people I know or heard talking about their exploits seem unhappy and lost. I personally never seen any positivity demonstrated by these type of unions. Then again I'm sure their are people that have the a certain psyche where it doesn't affect them. I just never met those type of people.

    I know plenty of people who are as happy as can be and don't take sex to mean the same thing as it means to you. Also, people can be unhappy or happy for all kinds of reasons, it doesn't have to even be about the sex...it could be or maybe it may not be. It's best to not make guesses or judgements about why someone is unhappy until you ask them. Until then your perspective is clouding your thinking and creating a bias.
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • libragirl wrote:
    Well I don't mean to convey my feeling onto others. I understand people approach this issue differently. As for the self respect part, I'm sure my religious upbringing affected me. I just find it appalling when people discuss their promiscuity in public forums and not think anything of it. It just seems irresponsible. I just feel that you should keep it to yourself. I'm not going to make a thread that says "hey I'm celebate, anyone else not getting any?" Why do we need to know about people's sex lives?

    sorry for the rant....


    What does it hurt to talk about it? What would be the reason to keep something you feel like sharing to yourself?
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    Alright let's agree to disagree...perhaps Im being biased or whatever...but Im not going to be swayed about how I feel, I have my reasons.

    I strongly agree with the views of the author of the book conor posted about in his post and I cant wait to read the book :)

    It can but it doesn't have to. Someone can enjoy ice cream without over eating it or having it daily, as well. Doing too much of anything can cause harm.



    No, they can be but it doesn't mean they all are. Generalizations are dumb and pointless.




    I know plenty of people who are as happy as can be and don't take sex to mean the same thing as it means to you. Also, people can be unhappy or happy for all kinds of reasons, it doesn't have to even be about the sex...it could be or maybe it may not be. It's best to not make guesses or judgements about why someone is unhappy until you ask them. Until then your perspective is clouding your thinking and creating a bias.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    libragirl wrote:
    Alright let's agree to disagree...perhaps Im being biased or whatever...but Im not going to be swayed about how I feel, I have my reasons.

    I strongly agree with the views of the author of the book conor posted about in his post and I cant wait to read the book :)

    i think you might be disappointed if you hope or expect for it to discuss sex as something sacred. it seems to oppose the hookup culture, but i dont get the feeling it adopts any sort of spiritual or sacred view of sex.
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    i think you might be disappointed if you hope or expect for it to discuss sex as something sacred. it seems to oppose the hookup culture, but i dont get the feeling it adopts any sort of spiritual or sacred view of sex.

    well yeah I figured that but at least the "meaningful" part. Which is devoid in most hookups. That's what I really have an issue with. I do have the catholic influence but it's really all about sex meaning something.

    Alright Im officially sick of discussing this...next topic! :p
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    What does it hurt to talk about it? What would be the reason to keep something you feel like sharing to yourself?

    um...lots.
    :(
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • libragirl wrote:
    I really resent that. To me it is negative..sorry I'm not going to apologize for it. I have a lot of evidence it is. Sex is a sacred and special thing, your body is. You really don't know me so you cannot clump me with some kind of preconceived idea you have of people who share my views. I just happen not to share the popular view on this issue. Maybe Im just a big prude..huh?


    um, i dont know if youre prudent or not, you could just be a very private person. really i dont care what your view is, you have a right to think and feel however, and i wasnt trying to criticise your views. HOWEVER, you are criticizing the views of others, and i found that a bit unfair since the general public is not fully represented here. you made a statement, and i made a point about your statement--and i think that point is valid.

    one of the most dangerous things in the world is for individuals to think their opinions are golden and thus can be imposed upon others, and that is exactly the type of behavior your view(s) are expressing here. i'm sorry if that is offensive to you, but i know the difference between attacking a person and rebuking a statement, so if you have any further grievance w/ me please take umberage in a pm because im leaving work and wont be following this thread until perhaps tomorrow.
    we don’t know just where our bones will rest,
    to dust i guess,
    forgotten and absorbed into the earth below,..
  • Sex doesn't have to have anything to do with losing self respect unless you're letting someone use you while you want something else. How can the physical act of sex, which feels good and releases built up tension, cause a person to lose respect?

    I just knew there was something about you I liked. ;)
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    um...like how you are thinking your views are golden? Your doing exactly what your griping about. Of course it's natural to feel how you feel is right...right for me that is.

    Im just speaking from personal experience with people who have had these so call serial hookups..they arent very happy. I'm just a big proponent of the fullfillment a monagamous relationship can bring. But if people find hookups convenient and it's not harming them or anyone else more power to them. You have to live your life how you want to and not according to any cultural rights or wrongs.

    Wouldn't you agree?
    um, i dont know if youre prudent or not, you could just be a very private person. really i dont care what your view is, you have a right to think and feel however, and i wasnt trying to criticise your views. HOWEVER, you are criticizing the views of others, and i found that a bit unfair since the general public is not fully represented here. you made a statement, and i made a point about your statement--and i think that point is valid.

    one of the most dangerous things in the world is for individuals to think their opinions are golden and thus can be imposed upon others, and that is exactly the type of behavior your view(s) are expressing here. i'm sorry if that is offensive to you, but i know the difference between attacking a person and rebuking a statement, so if you have any further grievance w/ me please take umberage in a pm because im leaving work and wont be following this thread until perhaps tomorrow.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    I agree with libragirl and abook...............:confused:..........:)
  • libragirl wrote:
    um...like how you are thinking your views are golden? Your doing exactly what your griping about. Of course it's natural to feel how you feel is right...right for me that is.

    Im just speaking from personal experience with people who have has these so call serial hookups..they arent very happy. I'm just a big proponent of the fullfillment a monagamous relationship can bring. But if people find hookups convenient and it's not harming them or anyone else more power to them. You have to live your life how you want to and not according to any cultural rights or wrongs.

    Wouldn't you agree?


    honestly im not a huge proponent of random hookups or even "non-committed ["open"] relationships", because like you say i think there is more meaning when two individuals consciously agree to share time and life with each other. BUT, i dont feel like i have any authority to say that people who do the opposite are wrong.

    i wasnt saying my views are golden--far from it. hell i didnt even express a view until just now, so youre obviously misinterpretting what im saying.

    to any cultural rights or wrongs?--i disagree: i think its fair that i abide by certain ethics of culture--like, dont go shoot 32 people participating in higher education.

    i dont generalize, at least not very often and only when i admit to it, if i can help it. you were generalizing earlier, and thats what i was commenting on.
    we don’t know just where our bones will rest,
    to dust i guess,
    forgotten and absorbed into the earth below,..
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    libragirl wrote:
    well yeah I figured that but at least the "meaningful" part. Which is devoid in most hookups. That's what I really have an issue with. I do have the catholic influence but it's really all about sex meaning something.

    Alright Im officially sick of discussing this...next topic! :p

    it's ironic, cos i blame the catholic influence for making me the sex-obsessed horny pervert i am today ;)
  • it's ironic, cos i blame the catholic influence for making me the sex-obsessed horny pervert i am today ;)

    Every catholic girl I've met has been on the naughty side... I'm beginning to think it's a definitely catholic thing, or a really long lucky streak :D
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    Every catholic girl I've met has been on the naughty side... I'm beginning to think it's a definitely catholic thing, or a really long lucky streak :D


    all of that repressed sexuality does have it's pay offs ;)
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    libragirl wrote:
    well yes..it's like any addiction.

    Right ok, good.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • chris rock: "feed me, fuck me, shut the fuck up."

    lol... I remember laughing so hard at that the first time...
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • ScubascottScubascott Posts: 815
    it's ironic, cos i blame the catholic influence for making me the sex-obsessed horny pervert i am today ;)

    You may be on to something there. . .

    Excuse me, I'm off to visit the local catholic girls school.
    It doesn't matter if you're male, female, or confused; black, white, brown, red, green, yellow; gay, lesbian; redneck cop, stoned; ugly; military style, doggy style; fat, rich or poor; vegetarian or cannibal; bum, hippie, virgin; famous or drunk-you're either an asshole or you're not!

    -C Addison
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    Scubascott wrote:
    You may be on to something there. . .

    Excuse me, I'm off to visit the local catholic girls school.


    off to do some research in the field huh? :D:D
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  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    it's ironic, cos i blame the catholic influence for making me the sex-obsessed horny pervert i am today ;)

    It's funny because the I noticed that most people who went to catholic schools are messed up. Im glad I went to public school. :p
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Scubascott wrote:
    You may be on to something there. . .

    Excuse me, I'm off to visit the local catholic girls school.

    i will never forgive my gf for getting rid of her old uniform becos i got the chance to... appreciate it ;)
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    I don't know what to tell you. I'm not sure if you are accusing me of hiding behind generalizations. I stated my views on this subject. It's a coincidence if they sounded like generalizations. What you said could be taken as a generalization too. The reason Im getting so much flack is because most of the people posting on here have opposing views to the author. I happen to agree well with the points she discussed in the Q & A at least, I would have to read the book to fully understand where she's coming from.


    honestly im not a huge proponent of random hookups or even "non-committed ["open"] relationships", because like you say i think there is more meaning when two individuals consciously agree to share time and life with each other. BUT, i dont feel like i have any authority to say that people who do the opposite are wrong.

    i wasnt saying my views are golden--far from it. hell i didnt even express a view until just now, so youre obviously misinterpretting what im saying.

    to any cultural rights or wrongs?--i disagree: i think its fair that i abide by certain ethics of culture--like, dont go shoot 32 people participating in higher education.

    i dont generalize, at least not very often and only when i admit to it, if i can help it. you were generalizing earlier, and thats what i was commenting on.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • libragirl wrote:
    um...lots.
    :(


    Oooh, ok.
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • Staceb10Staceb10 Posts: 675
    I do believe Abook and I have found a topic we agree on! :D
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