Home› The Porch

Stone Gossard...

1…2728303233…283

Comments

  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard uses the dewey decimal system to sort out his collection of comic books.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Pearl Jam stopped playing Garden for so many years because whenever Ed would say "Into you garden of Stone", Stone would get a raging hard on that not even a naked Milton Berle could make go away.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard is bigger than a bread box but smaller than a Cadillac.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • corycory Posts: 736
    Stone is built similar to a monkey which allows him to jerk off with his feet.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Once while he was sleeping, Stone had a very disturbing erotic dream involving Eddie Vedder, Stone's Grandmother, a tub of margarine, and an electric knife.


    it was disturbing because try as he might he cannot seem to replicate it.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    TrixieCat wrote:
    Stone loves to fart in the bathtub and then scream out "Who sank my battleship?" Then he grabs his genitals and screams "I got your pizza right here!"

    :D
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard was the inspiration for Mighty Mouse.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Pearl Jam stopped playing Garden for so many years because whenever Ed would say "Into you garden of Stone", Stone would get a raging hard on that not even a naked Milton Berle could make go away.


    Stone Gossard jerks off to naked pictures of Milton Berle while using his feet...as he comes he is known to scream out "spam!!!" in ecstasy
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard owns the entire collection of albums put out by the Chipmunks. He cannot believe how someone was able to teach them all to sing and in perfect pitch.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    When Stone goes to the studio - he asks the attendants to "check my Stones"
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard blushes when ever he eats a foot long hot dog.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard had a crush on Sam the butcher from the Brady Bunch and would walk around saying things like "I'll give you a bone...."
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Jeff and Ed won't admit it, but Bee Girl is about Stone.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard has a tattoo of his own face on his right testicle.


    he likes to give the ladies a little face time.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Stone Gossard always carries around a roll of quarters in his pocket and not because he is looking to put it in the parking meter...
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard refuses to sneeze...he thinks his ears will pop off and that will allow a doorway STRAIGHT INTO HIS SOUL!
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Stone has mirrored ceilings that have the phrase "Objects in mirror are larger than they appear" etched into them.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    TrixieCat wrote:
    Stone Gossard always carries around a roll of quarters in his pocket and not because he is looking to put it in the parking meter...


    mmmmm, that aint no roll of quarters, son...

    Stone tells people it's a roll of quarters because he doesn't want the girth to make you faint.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • corycory Posts: 736
    Stone once pulled his pants down and farted directly into an elderly woman's mouth.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Hooked On Phonics worked for Stone.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    cory wrote:
    Stone once pulled his pants down and farted directly into an elderly woman's mouth.

    Was she behind a counter?
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    This one time, when Stone was 8 he killed his babysitter with a ball peen hammer...isn't as disturbing as how long he has kept her body in those little ziploc baggies.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard likes to ride the ponies.


    the Stoney Ponies.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    No matter how small a purchase, Stone will always look the sales clerk in the eye and say "It's all about the Benjamins Baby!".
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard saves his morning breath in a container that he keeps on a shelf by his bed.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • corycory Posts: 736
    mookie9999 wrote:
    Was she behind a counter?

    ...in a pretty small town. It was a town of midgets so you could call it small.
    Revive the heart of the heartless...

    Why would you start was has no end?
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard gets sexually aroused by the smell of hot pennies.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    failedpersephone wrote:
    mmmmm, that aint no roll of quarters, son...

    Stone tells people it's a roll of quarters because he doesn't want the girth to make you faint.
    Ha-ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Truly...

    Oh lord..Stone Gossard keeps asking the Smithsonian Institute to PLEASE make an exhibit out of the green shorts he used to wear. Why aren't they as cool as Fonzie's jacket????????????
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard thinks that Pot Roast is a misnomer...
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Stone goes to the waterslide park every weekend in the summer in the hopes that someones "boobies will pop out".
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
Sign In or Register to comment.