Now that is good advice
I know it sounds simple but your comment made me think that I've been trying to control my relationship with this guy because it's pretty new. I'd be better off just to trust what he wants to do and not undermine his efforts by doing my 4th step alone while he's trying to help me out by starting off slowly. When the time is right we'll get there together.
Letting go and letting "God" is a process too. All of this is a process. I look at the categories and where it says harm to others, I look at myself and think how self-mutilation is manifested in as many forms as human beings are unique.
Thanks again for sharing.
all insanity:
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
I guess there is something in what you say but I still think that someone with an alcohol problem will always find a reason to drink and people to drink with. If not, we drink alone.
Having said that, to agree with your main point, I drunk right through my twenties because "everyone else is". I'm not saying it was the right thing to do though!
So, when it comes to 'tough ages', I can only speak from my own experience of how hard it is to stop. But I can't imagine that it is any easier or more difficult for the young guy whose friends drink or the old geezer who has been drinking for 40 years, or a woman or a man, black or white, intelligent or not so blessed - everyone in AA is equal in my eyes and I can't image that my own struggle is any more or less real than anyone elses. Age is really unimportant if you have had enough, it comes down to something more fundamental once you start stopping.
yeah, i was half joking. i think it's hard regardless, it's just hard for different reasons at different ages. in your 20s, almost all social life revolved around bars and drinking. i didn't make many friends in law school becos i didn't go to the bars (knew i couldn't trust myself) and thus missed out on the prime bonding opportunities the whole way through. before that, i lost almost all my friends when i quit drinking. most of them were coworkers in a restaurant and once i didn't go out to party, i was left. even older, more serious friends saw less of me becos we were doing different things most of the time.
of course, when you're older there are challenges too. it becomes ingrained into your life and habits in a way that it never could in my scattershot, ever-shifting life. you have a lot more tied to it becos you've spent years building a life around it. i think there's a bigger hole to fill in your life if you quit later, but i think the situational pressure to drink is greater when you quit young.
to me, that was a huge value of AA, finding young people in the same boat.
What also happens at an older age is the empty nest syndrome, and what once were goals are gone and past,
whether attained or not, and one is living in their future rather than having one. Friends become fewer and fewer, lots of lonliness and time on one's hands occur.
What also happens at an older age is the empty nest syndrome, and what once were goals are gone and past,
whether attained or not, and one is living in their future rather than having one. Friends become fewer and fewer, lots of lonliness and time on one's hands occur.
So very, very true. Keeping this in mind: that one day so we shall travel in the same boat.
all insanity:
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Bit early but, here's wishing you all a safe and sober happy holiday!!!
No too early, mate, it's already Christmas Day here.
I'm looking forward to it. The wife's family was a real challenge last year and I pretty much ruined my own Christmas because of resentment - and probably a few other people's too. I'm looking forward to at least attempting to be a part of the family and make amends a little for last year.
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time
Any fool can do it
There ain't nothing to it
Nobody knows how we got to
The top of the hill
But since we're on our way down
We might as well enjoy the ride
The secret of love is in opening up your heart
It's okay to feel afraid
But don't let that stand in your way
'cause anyone knows that love is the only road
And since we're only here for a while
Might as well show some style
Give us a smile
Isn't it a lovely ride
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It's just a lovely ride
Now the thing about time is that time
Isn't really real
It's just your point of view
How does it feel for you
Einstein said he could never understand it all
Planets spinning through space
The smile upon your face
Welcome to the human race
Some kind of lovely ride
I'll be sliding down
I'll be gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It's just a lovely ride
Isn't it a lovely ride
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It's just a lovely ride
Now the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
I'm in bed right now at a treatment center. Today is my 40th day of sobriety. The longest in 12 years and I am 26 years old. It's amazing how clouded my mind was. Everyday I'm learning to forgive myself. It is tough but exciting. After day 60 I go home. I can't wait.
I'm listening to parting ways right now which is pretty hilarious if you think of the song being about you and your drug of choice.
I'm in bed right now at a treatment center. Today is my 40th day of sobriety. The longest in 12 years and I am 26 years old. It's amazing how clouded my mind was. Everyday I'm learning to forgive myself. It is tough but exciting. After day 60 I go home. I can't wait.
I'm listening to parting ways right now which is pretty hilarious if you think of the song being about you and your drug of choice.
Great job! 40 days is a real start.....
and don't listen if anyone says you are too young to do this at 26. The earlier you sort your life out and deal with your illness, the more life you have to enjoy ahead of you. I'm glad I've started this journey at 30, after a 13 year binge, instead of 65 (not that I was likely to live that long)!
In life people say "never too late", in AA I think it should say "never too late and never too early"!
I'm in bed right now at a treatment center. Today is my 40th day of sobriety. The longest in 12 years and I am 26 years old. It's amazing how clouded my mind was. Everyday I'm learning to forgive myself. It is tough but exciting. After day 60 I go home. I can't wait.
I'm listening to parting ways right now which is pretty hilarious if you think of the song being about you and your drug of choice.
I am shocked that they are letting you use the internet. You are in a very long term center compared to what is allowed these days. You are in the right place. Glad to hear it.
What also happens at an older age is the empty nest syndrome, and what once were goals are gone and past,
whether attained or not, and one is living in their future rather than having one. Friends become fewer and fewer, lots of lonliness and time on one's hands occur.
So very, very true. Keeping this in mind: that one day so we shall travel in the same boat.
Thank You Melody! I am so glad that some people understand a little bit about where I am at in my life. And, yes, it can happen to any one else here also!
I know the program better than anything. I can talk the talk very well, I am just not at a place that I am willing to walk it anymore. I am unsure that I will ever be there again. At least I know what to do should that day ever come, and I am thankful that people will be there if that day comes. Wouldn't it suck if no one was there? If there were no meetings to go to? Ahhh...thankfully there is.
I'm in bed right now at a treatment center. Today is my 40th day of sobriety. The longest in 12 years and I am 26 years old. It's amazing how clouded my mind was. Everyday I'm learning to forgive myself. It is tough but exciting. After day 60 I go home. I can't wait.
I'm listening to parting ways right now which is pretty hilarious if you think of the song being about you and your drug of choice.
I am shocked that they are letting you use the internet. You are in a very long term center compared to what is allowed these days. You are in the right place. Glad to hear it.
yea I may have swiped my iPhone back. I shouldn't have it but I justify that this place is costing me a years salary so I want the damn internet. I've been a much better mood since I've gotten it so there is my justification
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,895
I'm in bed right now at a treatment center. Today is my 40th day of sobriety. The longest in 12 years and I am 26 years old. It's amazing how clouded my mind was. Everyday I'm learning to forgive myself. It is tough but exciting. After day 60 I go home. I can't wait.
I'm listening to parting ways right now which is pretty hilarious if you think of the song being about you and your drug of choice.
I am shocked that they are letting you use the internet. You are in a very long term center compared to what is allowed these days. You are in the right place. Glad to hear it.
yea I may have swiped my iPhone back. I shouldn't have it but I justify that this place is costing me a years salary so I want the damn internet. I've been a much better mood since I've gotten it so there is my justification
So , it's costing you a years salary and you will allow a distraction keep you from getting the most you can from what they offer?
Part of what got me where I went was justifying and rationalizing my behaviour. For me I ended up being ten years older than you before I sought help. That was ten more years of justifying my actions cuz I wanted something my way. Food for thought, ya know?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I unrestand. But also I could have gone to a halfway house where I would have had my phone and laptop back. But I stayed here for the daily group sessions and one on ones. I have soo much downtime it's absurd.
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,895
I unrestand. But also I could have gone to a halfway house where I would have had my phone and laptop back. But I stayed here for the daily group sessions and one on ones. I have soo much downtime it's absurd.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I am shocked that they are letting you use the internet. You are in a very long term center compared to what is allowed these days. You are in the right place. Glad to hear it.[/quote]
yea I may have swiped my iPhone back. I shouldn't have it but I justify that this place is costing me a years salary so I want the damn internet. I've been a much better mood since I've gotten it so there is my justification [/quote] So , it's costing you a years salary and you will allow a distraction keep you from getting the most you can from what they offer?Part of what got me where I went was justifying and rationalizing my behaviour. For me I ended up being ten years older than you before I sought help. That was ten more years of justifying my actions cuz I wanted something my way. Food for thought, ya know?[/quote]
To be going against the rules means you have not turn it over to a higher power. Your best thinking got you where you are, and you are using YOUR best thinking in going against the rules. If you really want recovery, you must trust these people and nevermind the whys of the rules, just know they are necessary.
Knock it off. Good luck and love is with you.
Save room for dessert!
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,895
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I'm still waiting for that third step to kick in. I'm not going to force a belief so until then I'll use the Internet when I wan
I was struggling with believing a lot, I read a nice phrase in the BB which said something like: "even if you don't believe at first, act as if you do, as it opens up the path to God".
Post edited by i shit and i stink on
we're all going to the same place...
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,895
I'm still waiting for that third step to kick in. I'm not going to force a belief so until then I'll use the Internet when I wan
Hate to say it , but it seems to me you just wasted a helluva lot of money. And some valuable drinking time. No worries though. They aren't gonna stop making booze. And we will still be here when you're ready.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I'm still waiting for that third step to kick in. I'm not going to force a belief so until then I'll use the Internet when I wan
God does not have to be your higher poweer, the internet can be!! Its anything greater than you. I know that two minds are better than one, so another person helping you can be that higher power, like people at tables. etc.
talks about the fact that we just lost an "oldtimer" from our group".."Millie"
She was old in age, but young in spirit, swore like a trooper, laughed loud and was the power of example for me that "sobriety" doesn't have to mean "subdued"!
Ellie also has a second blog on NY resolutions that's really great!
Hope these help some of you out there..
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
I'm still waiting for that third step to kick in. I'm not going to force a belief so until then I'll use the Internet when I wan
Hate to say it , but it seems to me you just wasted a helluva lot of money. And some valuable drinking time. No worries though. They aren't gonna stop making booze. And we will still be here when you're ready.
Yea i've wasted it all because I'm ok the Internet. Hate to day it but won't stop making the Internet either. I went out on a leave of absence yesterday because i've made so much progress and I went and watched the game at applebees..and sat at the bar. Yep they still make alcohal.
I'm still waiting for that third step to kick in. I'm not going to force a belief so until then I'll use the Internet when I wan
Hate to say it , but it seems to me you just wasted a helluva lot of money. And some valuable drinking time. No worries though. They aren't gonna stop making booze. And we will still be here when you're ready.
Yea i've wasted it all because I'm ok the Internet. Hate to day it but won't stop making the Internet either. I went out on a leave of absence yesterday because i've made so much progress and I went and watched the game at applebees..and sat at the bar. Yep they still make alcohal.
If you are using the internet as that power greater than you...that source tells you NOT to go to the bar, I.e. Applebee's! Remember, your best thinking got you where you are today...that is why you need MORE than YOUR own thinking. You need a higher power to help...like a sponsor, the meetings, people here, a counselor, anybody or thing that is just not you alone. Alone, you end up at Applebee's. You may have got away with it this time, but you won't every time!
I was clean 11 years. I also went to the bars whenever I wanted. After 11 years, it got me. I used after all that time cuz I hung around alcohol.
here's an internet option (women- only) that it not so evil:
(from Ellie's blog)
"I get a fair number of emails from women who are struggling with their drinking, are new to recovery, or have been in recovery a while and just want to connect. It's an incredible feeling - the sense of community and comfort I receive talking with other women, many of them mothers, who get it.
I recently joined an incredible Yahoo group, started by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor of Baby on Bored and Sweet Jane of Lights! Camera! Diapers! (check out their fabulous blogs by clicking on the links). It is an anonymous, safe place to meet other women and talk about drinking. Or not drinking. Only a week old, this group is already 58 members strong, and growing every day.
It is amazing to get to know these incredible women, hear their stories, and realize that if you are struggling with drinking, or staying sober, you are not alone. We come from all different walks of life, but our stories are so similar. It is inspiring. When I was trying to stop drinking, I felt like the only person on earth who did the things I did, and felt the way I felt. When I finally reached out for help and learned I was not the only one, not by a long shot, it gave me the courage to try recovery.
There are women there who are wondering if they have a problem, women actively trying to get sober, and women who have been in recovery a while and want to stay there. So, if you want a safe, comfortable place to talk about your own drinking and/or recovery, come by and join. The link is here:
I am not in 12 Steps, but I decided this past Sunday after 6 years of abuse from 2003-2009 that I need to end my relationship with alcohol. I was never a daily drinker but I am a dangerous & destructive binge Drinker who for a long time figured i could control the demon by just drinking beer, just drinking alone, or "JUST" about anything. I was wrong. It seems periodically every 6 months or so I would always have a self destructive night - so bad that i don't even want to openly discuss.
I now realize the strongest thing I can do is admit I have a weakness.
On Saturday, For the first time in my life, my destructive drinking truly harmed my friends (something I'm not ok with), not just myself (something I am ok with).
25 years old on day 3.
Well you are 100% right about it being a tough age to do it at. All my closest friends drink and just last night I went out for dinner with three of them, one of whom was one of the people I screwed over on Saturday night.
They all were saying I'm punishing myself too much... and i explained that i'm not viewing this is a punishment. After dinner we went to a wine bar and after intense prodding I agree to taste some wine the way you might offer it to a 10 year old - as I hated being the total drag and i don't believe in absolute's anyway... just like how I read someone earlier in this thread say if you fall down on the way to the store, you don't go back home and start the trip over. I don't count it as a slip, rather it was playing in traffic and coming out unharmed.
The rest of the night I nursed a diet coke. I was surrounded by peer pressure and alcohol from 7 pm to 11:15 and I didn't crack and actually by the end of the night my friends who had been prodding me were patting me on the back, as if congrats: you fell on the sword for one night and thats admirable but you'll be back in action by the weekend right?... lol
My best friend is actually very unhappy that I am aking this measure and I truly understand why. We have had some amazing times that have centered around drinking, and I am not against alcohol - but it is very hard for people my age to understand that my drinking comes from a dark place and leads to a dark place because I think most of them are party drinkers who properly use alcohol to enhance pleasure while I on the other hand use it to kill pain.
I think I finally made them understand by comparing it to being prescribed pain medication for a surgery, but after you are all better now you still have the pain killer addiction. It was necessary, but now its a detriment. Thats sort of like my relationship to alcohol.
I used it as self medication to get me through a time when my life was totally fucked up, and you know I'm not sure I could have done it without alcohol. I was in survival mode and the drink helped me to survive.
but now my life isn't fucked up anymore and I don't want to just survive, I want to live... alcohol returns me to the escapist/survival mindset. So while I'm not prepared to say I will never drink again, I do need a prolonged period of dryness to get my head in the right place and my life heading in the direction I want it to be heading, rather than just getting by day to day.
Day 4.
Hey,
I check in on this thread occasionally, hadn't recently and just caught up and your posts seemed very similar to my experience.
I stopped drinking at age 25. I didn't go the AA route, but decided I would do it on my own.(By no means a knock on the program, just didn't think it was the way to go for myself). Like you, at that age it was impossible to be out socially and not be in places that served alcohol, and with friends who were drinking. I took on the role of designated driver, which my friends appreciated, and they quickly became very supportive of my decision to stop. That helped a lot. It's obviously not an easy road, but it can be done if you desire. Feel free if you want to PM me about anything, if I can lend any insights I'll be happy to do so.
stranger 34, You have all your strength inside you. The key to much of recovery is forgiveness...It's a deep and intimate word as well as process... I sometimes look back at where I was even 5 years ago, and think to myself how long the journey of life....but yet our Beings are only drops in a bucket universally...
let your playful side rise like the Phoenix....let your inner child have a great time...
remember when we close the door to something, we are really saying we are ready to open a new one, that will create even more abundance...
(please keep in mind we can sow many seeds and a universal law states "we reap what we sow..." this can be true from both benefit and hardships). You are making a very positive choice....
looking to the Higher power...
all insanity:
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
.[/quote]
If you are using the internet as that power greater than you...that source tells you NOT to go to the bar, I.e. Applebee's! Remember, your best thinking got you where you are today...that is why you need MORE than YOUR own thinking. You need a higher power to help...like a sponsor, the meetings, people here, a counselor, anybody or thing that is just not you alone. Alone, you end up at Applebee's. You may have got away with it this time, but you won't every time!
I was clean 11 years. I also went to the bars whenever I wanted. After 11 years, it got me. I used after all that time cuz I hung around alcohol.[/quote]
hey i don't want to be negative. i know i'm not different. i'm home now from treatment and scared shitless. today is day 60. i went to a meeting and it felt good. i do believe in a higher power. i believe that higher power helped me get to that meeting. i went even after trying to tell myself, "hey you were just in treatment this morning you'll be fine" but i went and it was a relief and i feel proud.
since discovering i can only focus on bettering myself, i can leave the rest in the hands of my HP. it's a great feeling. i also have a meeting set up with an alumni from my rehab and he will be my temporary sponsor. also i will be attending in out patient treatment here in town 3 times a week starting the 20th.
now here is where i could get in trouble. i went far away from home for treatment but on my last week there i met an amazing girl that i had a real connection with. then i learned she lives in the same city as me..and also just found out is a big pj fan. bonus. almost seems to good to be true so we're both understanding it's easy to get ahead of ourselves considering we're both going through the same thing so we're trying real hard not to get too excited. but it is exciting. that said i know you're really not supposed to date right away and it is definitely frowned upon to fraternize in treatment. you know..passing notes and such, secret meetings by the pond. i dont know. i'll keep working on myself and hope for the best.
Comments
Thanks again for sharing.
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
whether attained or not, and one is living in their future rather than having one. Friends become fewer and fewer, lots of lonliness and time on one's hands occur.
whether attained or not, and one is living in their future rather than having one. Friends become fewer and fewer, lots of lonliness and time on one's hands occur.
So very, very true. Keeping this in mind: that one day so we shall travel in the same boat.
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
Im comin home on an airplane flight
Mama waitin at the ticket line
Tell me son why do you stand there cryin
It was the needle and the spoon
And a trip to the moon
Took me away, took me away
Ive been feelin so sick and tired
Got to get better, lord before I die
Seven doctors couldnt help my head, they said
You better quit, son before your dead
Quit the needle. quit the spoon
Quit the trip to the moon
We gonna take you away. lord, we gonna take you away
Ive seen a lot of people who thought they were cool
But then again, lord Ive seen a lot of fools
Well, I hope you people, lord can hear what I say
Youll have your chance to hit it some day
Don't mess with the needle or a spoon
Or any trip to the moon
Itll take you away
Lord, their gonna bury you boy
Don't mess with the needle
Now I know, I know, I know...
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Ellie's latest blog, a timely look at gratitude in sobriety!..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
No too early, mate, it's already Christmas Day here.
I'm looking forward to it. The wife's family was a real challenge last year and I pretty much ruined my own Christmas because of resentment - and probably a few other people's too. I'm looking forward to at least attempting to be a part of the family and make amends a little for last year.
Happy holidays everyone.
Don't let "Christmas" ruin Christmas for you...
and for inspiration, here's a favorite JT song that help me keep it all on the down low in my brain...:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X60qHVqa ... re=related
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time
Any fool can do it
There ain't nothing to it
Nobody knows how we got to
The top of the hill
But since we're on our way down
We might as well enjoy the ride
The secret of love is in opening up your heart
It's okay to feel afraid
But don't let that stand in your way
'cause anyone knows that love is the only road
And since we're only here for a while
Might as well show some style
Give us a smile
Isn't it a lovely ride
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It's just a lovely ride
Now the thing about time is that time
Isn't really real
It's just your point of view
How does it feel for you
Einstein said he could never understand it all
Planets spinning through space
The smile upon your face
Welcome to the human race
Some kind of lovely ride
I'll be sliding down
I'll be gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It's just a lovely ride
Isn't it a lovely ride
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It's just a lovely ride
Now the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
I'm listening to parting ways right now which is pretty hilarious if you think of the song being about you and your drug of choice.
Great job! 40 days is a real start.....
and don't listen if anyone says you are too young to do this at 26. The earlier you sort your life out and deal with your illness, the more life you have to enjoy ahead of you. I'm glad I've started this journey at 30, after a 13 year binge, instead of 65 (not that I was likely to live that long)!
In life people say "never too late", in AA I think it should say "never too late and never too early"!
All the best.
I know the program better than anything. I can talk the talk very well, I am just not at a place that I am willing to walk it anymore. I am unsure that I will ever be there again. At least I know what to do should that day ever come, and I am thankful that people will be there if that day comes. Wouldn't it suck if no one was there? If there were no meetings to go to? Ahhh...thankfully there is.
Part of what got me where I went was justifying and rationalizing my behaviour. For me I ended up being ten years older than you before I sought help. That was ten more years of justifying my actions cuz I wanted something my way. Food for thought, ya know?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
yea I may have swiped my iPhone back. I shouldn't have it but I justify that this place is costing me a years salary so I want the damn internet. I've been a much better mood since I've gotten it so there is my justification
So , it's costing you a years salary and you will allow a distraction keep you from getting the most you can from what they offer?Part of what got me where I went was justifying and rationalizing my behaviour. For me I ended up being ten years older than you before I sought help. That was ten more years of justifying my actions cuz I wanted something my way. Food for thought, ya know?[/quote]
To be going against the rules means you have not turn it over to a higher power. Your best thinking got you where you are, and you are using YOUR best thinking in going against the rules. If you really want recovery, you must trust these people and nevermind the whys of the rules, just know they are necessary.
Knock it off. Good luck and love is with you.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I was struggling with believing a lot, I read a nice phrase in the BB which said something like: "even if you don't believe at first, act as if you do, as it opens up the path to God".
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
http://onecraftymother.blogspot.com/sea ... l/recovery
talks about the fact that we just lost an "oldtimer" from our group".."Millie"
She was old in age, but young in spirit, swore like a trooper, laughed loud and was the power of example for me that "sobriety" doesn't have to mean "subdued"!
Ellie also has a second blog on NY resolutions that's really great!
Hope these help some of you out there..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
never mind.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
I was clean 11 years. I also went to the bars whenever I wanted. After 11 years, it got me. I used after all that time cuz I hung around alcohol.
(from Ellie's blog)
"I get a fair number of emails from women who are struggling with their drinking, are new to recovery, or have been in recovery a while and just want to connect. It's an incredible feeling - the sense of community and comfort I receive talking with other women, many of them mothers, who get it.
I recently joined an incredible Yahoo group, started by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor of Baby on Bored and Sweet Jane of Lights! Camera! Diapers! (check out their fabulous blogs by clicking on the links). It is an anonymous, safe place to meet other women and talk about drinking. Or not drinking. Only a week old, this group is already 58 members strong, and growing every day.
It is amazing to get to know these incredible women, hear their stories, and realize that if you are struggling with drinking, or staying sober, you are not alone. We come from all different walks of life, but our stories are so similar. It is inspiring. When I was trying to stop drinking, I felt like the only person on earth who did the things I did, and felt the way I felt. When I finally reached out for help and learned I was not the only one, not by a long shot, it gave me the courage to try recovery.
There are women there who are wondering if they have a problem, women actively trying to get sober, and women who have been in recovery a while and want to stay there. So, if you want a safe, comfortable place to talk about your own drinking and/or recovery, come by and join. The link is here:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Bo ... e_brigade/
If you are are concerned about anonymity, you can set up an separate, anonymous Yahoo email account to join.
Even if you're not ready to talk about yourself, it is a good place to just go listen.
You are not alone.
Posted by Ellie at 8:20 AM 6 comments Links to this post
Labels: addiction, alcoholism, recovery "
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
I check in on this thread occasionally, hadn't recently and just caught up and your posts seemed very similar to my experience.
I stopped drinking at age 25. I didn't go the AA route, but decided I would do it on my own.(By no means a knock on the program, just didn't think it was the way to go for myself). Like you, at that age it was impossible to be out socially and not be in places that served alcohol, and with friends who were drinking. I took on the role of designated driver, which my friends appreciated, and they quickly became very supportive of my decision to stop. That helped a lot. It's obviously not an easy road, but it can be done if you desire. Feel free if you want to PM me about anything, if I can lend any insights I'll be happy to do so.
let your playful side rise like the Phoenix....let your inner child have a great time...
remember when we close the door to something, we are really saying we are ready to open a new one, that will create even more abundance...
(please keep in mind we can sow many seeds and a universal law states "we reap what we sow..." this can be true from both benefit and hardships). You are making a very positive choice....
looking to the Higher power...
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
If you are using the internet as that power greater than you...that source tells you NOT to go to the bar, I.e. Applebee's! Remember, your best thinking got you where you are today...that is why you need MORE than YOUR own thinking. You need a higher power to help...like a sponsor, the meetings, people here, a counselor, anybody or thing that is just not you alone. Alone, you end up at Applebee's. You may have got away with it this time, but you won't every time!
I was clean 11 years. I also went to the bars whenever I wanted. After 11 years, it got me. I used after all that time cuz I hung around alcohol.[/quote]
hey i don't want to be negative. i know i'm not different. i'm home now from treatment and scared shitless. today is day 60. i went to a meeting and it felt good. i do believe in a higher power. i believe that higher power helped me get to that meeting. i went even after trying to tell myself, "hey you were just in treatment this morning you'll be fine" but i went and it was a relief and i feel proud.
since discovering i can only focus on bettering myself, i can leave the rest in the hands of my HP. it's a great feeling. i also have a meeting set up with an alumni from my rehab and he will be my temporary sponsor. also i will be attending in out patient treatment here in town 3 times a week starting the 20th.
now here is where i could get in trouble. i went far away from home for treatment but on my last week there i met an amazing girl that i had a real connection with. then i learned she lives in the same city as me..and also just found out is a big pj fan. bonus. almost seems to good to be true so we're both understanding it's easy to get ahead of ourselves considering we're both going through the same thing so we're trying real hard not to get too excited. but it is exciting. that said i know you're really not supposed to date right away and it is definitely frowned upon to fraternize in treatment. you know..passing notes and such, secret meetings by the pond. i dont know. i'll keep working on myself and hope for the best.