PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

i shit and i stink

giventofly75 wrote:

Just hang in there...i am pretty new to this 4 months sober.....Itsthe people in aa and my family an god that have helped me so much.

Thanks a lot and congratulations yourself, keep up the good work!

You are right, other people make a big difference. There is such a great support network out there. It's quiet and inobtrusive when you are not open to it but once you start with this program there are people from so many places who provide a little strength.

Blind3

Congratulations and best of luck to all my fellow PJ fans who are working one day at a time to remain sober. Alcohol and opiates were the double barrels I faced . Recovering for six years and 176 days... one precious day at a time .

Heatherj43

There have been lots of us in the 12 step programs. Some have relapsed, like after 11 years clean from drugs and alcohol.

soulsinging

Heatherj43 wrote:

There have been lots of us in the 12 step programs. Some have relapsed, like after 11 years clean from drugs and alcohol.

yeah, i had 4 up until 2 months ago.

Heatherj43

soulsinging wrote:

Heatherj43 wrote:

There have been lots of us in the 12 step programs. Some have relapsed, like after 11 years clean from drugs and alcohol.

yeah, i had 4 up until 2 months ago.

I know you did. I had 11 fricking years. Its just one of those things. I can't explain it and I am not ready to go back to the program.

mickeyrat

Heatherj43 wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

Heatherj43 wrote:

There have been lots of us in the 12 step programs. Some have relapsed, like after 11 years clean from drugs and alcohol.

yeah, i had 4 up until 2 months ago.

I know you did. I had 11 fricking years. Its just one of those things. I can't explain it and I am not ready to go back to the program.

i hope it doesn't have to get as bad as when you first came in.

hollow bottle

i hope it doesn't have to get as bad as when you first came in.[/quote]Based on my experience with people who decided to drink, it is almost always worse. I am prideful and would not want to return to the rooms if I drank. Also, once I ignite the flame, there is no telling how I will end up. It taked alot of wreckage for me to get honest when I'm drinking.

One day at a time. All we have is today. It doesn't matter if you have 1 day or 30 years.

mickeyrat

hollow bottle wrote:

i hope it doesn't have to get as bad as when you first came in.

Based on my experience with people who decided to drink, it is almost always worse. I am prideful and would not want to return to the rooms if I drank. Also, once I ignite the flame, there is no telling how I will end up. It taked alot of wreckage for me to get honest when I'm drinking.

One day at a time. All we have is today. It doesn't matter if you have 1 day or 30 years.[/quote]
Oh I know. Not from personal experience Thank HP! But I've seen it enough to know I don't want to test it!

Know for a fact i got a rueumption of use in me, don't know if I have another recovery. So I'm staying put.

i shit and i stink

So, a couple of months now since 09/09/09, time flies when you are having fun.

I spoke to my in-laws about the program last night, which I've been dreading as we have a history of not seeing eye to eye, and they were incredibly supportive. It seems that when you are comfortable with your own recovery other people are invariably comfortable with it too.

Still enjoying 'Amongst The Waves' from the new album.

Heatherj43

i shit and i stink wrote:

So, a couple of months now since 09/09/09, time flies when you are having fun.

I spoke to my in-laws about the program last night, which I've been dreading as we have a history of not seeing eye to eye, and they were incredibly supportive. It seems that when you are comfortable with your own recovery other people are invariably comfortable with it too.

Still enjoying 'Amongst The Waves' from the new album.

What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!

Nothingman54

1

hollow bottle

What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh![/quote]

Do you consider 10 years to be a relapse? It sounds much deeper than that. I destroyed myself and hurt every kind and patient person who supported me in less than 10 years while I was using. I am getting the idea that you are sending the wrong message here. Do you want help? I am serious about my recovery and those who want to be sober and content. This shoud be a place where we talk about the solution and share our own experiences with how we became sober. I hope that you get clean. I sincerely do.

soulsinging

Heatherj43 wrote:

i shit and i stink wrote:

So, a couple of months now since 09/09/09, time flies when you are having fun.

I spoke to my in-laws about the program last night, which I've been dreading as we have a history of not seeing eye to eye, and they were incredibly supportive. It seems that when you are comfortable with your own recovery other people are invariably comfortable with it too.

Still enjoying 'Amongst The Waves' from the new album.

What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!

i dont know if you can still call it a relapse after 10 years at that point, maybe the sobriety was the relapse, hehe. but i agree with most of the rest. i got very tired of how everyone around me seemed to think it was a bigger deal than i did, like all was gravy in the world since i didn't drink when i felt meaner and less happy for it... they're definitely right about there being a difference between being dry and being sober and i was always more dry than sober. so to those still working the program, watch out for that.

Heatherj43

soulsinging wrote:

Heatherj43 wrote:

i shit and i stink wrote:

So, a couple of months now since 09/09/09, time flies when you are having fun.

I spoke to my in-laws about the program last night, which I've been dreading as we have a history of not seeing eye to eye, and they were incredibly supportive. It seems that when you are comfortable with your own recovery other people are invariably comfortable with it too.

Still enjoying 'Amongst The Waves' from the new album.

What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!

i dont know if you can still call it a relapse after 10 years at that point, maybe the sobriety was the relapse, hehe. but i agree with most of the rest. i got very tired of how everyone around me seemed to think it was a bigger deal than i did, like all was gravy in the world since i didn't drink when i felt meaner and less happy for it... they're definitely right about there being a difference between being dry and being sober and i was always more dry than sober. so to those still working the program, watch out for that.

I call it a relapse. The program was everything I had in every part of my life. To this day, every one I know and associtae with is from meetings. Some are still cean, some are not. Also, all the stuff you learn at meetings stay with you forever. The only part missing is that I am using. I do act and behave using the steps in all parts of my life except that one. I had a seven year period of sobriey, and the 11 year period. I think that I have been clean more of my adult years than using. I also had 2 years in Al-Anon.
I am very programmed!
Trust me, I know the program inside and out. I was the Helpline Chair for my county, I did hospital and institutions, I got a social work degree while in the prorgam and worked in a substance abuse center for a few years, then worked with youth in crisis. I hold a state certification for substance abuse counseling. I spent a whole lot of years completely enveloped in sobriety, not just for myself, but in my job also.
All i have to do now is get clean. The reason I relapsed had a lot to do with serious medical issues. I spent 7 week long visits in hospital from July to November in one year. Thye put me on Diladid each time. They were giving me 1 mg every 2 hours for all those weeks. Yeah, Then I had nothing to help me. I am now on drug called Suboxone. It works great. Read about it, you'd be surprised as to how great it just is. Nothing like Methadone.

soulsinging

Heatherj43 wrote:

I call it a relapse. The program was everything I had in every part of my life. To this day, every one I know and associtae with is from meetings. Some are still cean, some are not. Also, all the stuff you learn at meetings stay with you forever. The only part missing is that I am using. I do act and behave using the steps in all parts of my life except that one. I had a seven year period of sobriey, and the 11 year period. I think that I have been clean more of my adult years than using. I also had 2 years in Al-Anon.
I am very programmed!
Trust me, I know the program inside and out. I was the Helpline Chair for my county, I did hospital and institutions, I got a social work degree while in the prorgam and worked in a substance abuse center for a few years, then worked with youth in crisis. I hold a state certification for substance abuse counseling. I spent a whole lot of years completely enveloped in sobriety, not just for myself, but in my job also.
All i have to do now is get clean. The reason I relapsed had a lot to do with serious medical issues. I spent 7 week long visits in hospital from July to November in one year. Thye put me on Diladid each time. They were giving me 1 mg every 2 hours for all those weeks. Yeah, Then I had nothing to help me. I am now on drug called Suboxone. It works great. Read about it, you'd be surprised as to how great it just is. Nothing like Methadone.

Just givin you a hard time. More power to you though... I've cut all ties with the program and have no desire to go back just now, for whatever reason. Probably not wise, but so it goes. I was also never a narcotics guy, so I don't think I'd gain anything from reading up on the meds, but I'm happy they're helping you and wish you the best as you try to get clean. In the meantime, y'all can watch me go nuts and use it as a reminder of why you quit to begin with.

locked

I tend to be more of a rebel AA'er..
a buddy of mine in AA once said to me..
"I've met alot of long timers and I've concluded that I don't want SOME PEOPLE's sobriety"!

I agree 100%...

AA is a loosely run organization that saved my life..
but because it is so loosely run, we can meet alot of A** holes who think they are the CEO's of AA...

But don't let some jerks in the program run you out of the program..

It worked once when nothing else did.. right?

Both of you put together some serious time being sober.

If you look back on that time and would rather "do life" using...then your decision is easy?

If not, jump back into a new group.. frankly most of us are too self-centered to spend time taking your inventory...

and the ones that do have no business in it anyways..

Its progress not perfection..

Just my two cents..

soulsinging

locked wrote:

I tend to be more of a rebel AA'er..
a buddy of mine in AA once said to me..
"I've met alot of long timers and I've concluded that I don't want SOME PEOPLE's sobriety"!

I agree 100%...

AA is a loosely run organization that saved my life..
but because it is so loosely run, we can meet alot of A** holes who think they are the CEO's of AA...

But don't let some jerks in the program run you out of the program..

It worked once when nothing else did.. right?

Both of you put together some serious time being sober.

If you look back on that time and would rather "do life" using...then your decision is easy?

If not, jump back into a new group.. frankly most of us are too self-centered to spend time taking your inventory...

oh i'd have no qualms going back if needed. i'm not a proud guy. i was just wound so tight i figured what was the point if i was no happier than when i was using? guess the honeymoon ended for me here's hoping the rest of y'all find what i couldn't in the rooms!

locked

Latest post from my friend Ellie (and yes..she was just a guest on OPRAH last week!)

http://onecraftymother.blogspot.com/200 ... horse.html

Heatherj43

soulsinging wrote:

Heatherj43 wrote:

I call it a relapse. The program was everything I had in every part of my life. To this day, every one I know and associtae with is from meetings. Some are still cean, some are not. Also, all the stuff you learn at meetings stay with you forever. The only part missing is that I am using. I do act and behave using the steps in all parts of my life except that one. I had a seven year period of sobriey, and the 11 year period. I think that I have been clean more of my adult years than using. I also had 2 years in Al-Anon.
I am very programmed!
Trust me, I know the program inside and out. I was the Helpline Chair for my county, I did hospital and institutions, I got a social work degree while in the prorgam and worked in a substance abuse center for a few years, then worked with youth in crisis. I hold a state certification for substance abuse counseling. I spent a whole lot of years completely enveloped in sobriety, not just for myself, but in my job also.
All i have to do now is get clean. The reason I relapsed had a lot to do with serious medical issues. I spent 7 week long visits in hospital from July to November in one year. Thye put me on Diladid each time. They were giving me 1 mg every 2 hours for all those weeks. Yeah, Then I had nothing to help me. I am now on drug called Suboxone. It works great. Read about it, you'd be surprised as to how great it just is. Nothing like Methadone.

Just givin you a hard time. More power to you though... I've cut all ties with the program and have no desire to go back just now, for whatever reason. Probably not wise, but so it goes. I was also never a narcotics guy, so I don't think I'd gain anything from reading up on the meds, but I'm happy they're helping you and wish you the best as you try to get clean. In the meantime, y'all can watch me go nuts and use it as a reminder of why you quit to begin with.

The medication I mentioned "Suboxone" is for opiate users. It works great. It stops all withdrawals, which are horrrible, but it also just makes me feel better in general. It is also suppose to help with cravings. The problem is I still end up using my drug of choice every pay day. Money is a huge trigger and I don't tell the people close to me that cuz I want to keep using and they'd take charge of my money thinking, "I'm helping her". I would still be able to get money if I want to use bad enough...duh!
We'll see, at least I am talking about it.

Heatherj43

hollow bottle wrote:

What happened to me was that they all put me on a pedastal so high that when I relapsed you'd of thought WWIII started. I've been back out on a relapse about 10 years, yet those 11 years clean won't go away. I still get shit from my kids and they have no idea just what I use and how much. They both use and justify it somehow. They are both addicts!
They piss me off. Theye expect way too much out of me. I am an addict, duh!

This isn't an N.A. or A.A. forum, so not a place to get clean. They have forums like that, by the way.
The title read PJ fans in 12 step recovery. I spent most of my adult life in recovery. I feel my story has room here. If someone can relapse after 11 years, it clearly shows that complacency is nothing to mess around with. Also, I have lots, too many to count, of people I know from the program who all relapsed around their 8 to 9 year mark! That is something everyone in recovery should be aware of. It does happen and too many people, with a lot of clean time, get some kind of thought in their head that they are far removed from using again, they are not, and I know mnay people who have proven that.
I am being honest. I know too many who went back out after 8 years or so. These people worked a good solid program too. They attended meetings often, did service work, did all the things they were suppose to and some. They were pillars of recovery, people most would want as a sponsor, yet they all went back out.
When talking about recovery, you can't bury your head in the sand and act like relapses don't happen, they do and are part of the program. Isn't there a chapter in the N. A. book titled "Relapse and Recovery"? There is cuz its part of the program. I welcome you wishing me hope I get clean, but in return I am wishing you keep that part in your recovery and realize a relapse is a split second away. It is needed to be talked about.
Just you saying this isn't the place to talk about that is one of the reasons I am still staying away from meetings. Meetings are for addicts! You don't have to be clean to attend, and you surely better know the reasons you do attend, its cuz of the possibility of relapse, otherwise you must be cured, eh?