If you are using the internet as that power greater than you...that source tells you NOT to go to the bar, I.e. Applebee's! Remember, your best thinking got you where you are today...that is why you need MORE than YOUR own thinking. You need a higher power to help...like a sponsor, the meetings, people here, a counselor, anybody or thing that is just not you alone. Alone, you end up at Applebee's. You may have got away with it this time, but you won't every time!
I was clean 11 years. I also went to the bars whenever I wanted. After 11 years, it got me. I used after all that time cuz I hung around alcohol.[/quote]
hey i don't want to be negative. i know i'm not different. i'm home now from treatment and scared shitless. today is day 60. i went to a meeting and it felt good. i do believe in a higher power. i believe that higher power helped me get to that meeting. i went even after trying to tell myself, "hey you were just in treatment this morning you'll be fine" but i went and it was a relief and i feel proud.
since discovering i can only focus on bettering myself, i can leave the rest in the hands of my HP. it's a great feeling. i also have a meeting set up with an alumni from my rehab and he will be my temporary sponsor. also i will be attending in out patient treatment here in town 3 times a week starting the 20th.
now here is where i could get in trouble. i went far away from home for treatment but on my last week there i met an amazing girl that i had a real connection with. then i learned she lives in the same city as me..and also just found out is a big pj fan. bonus. almost seems to good to be true so we're both understanding it's easy to get ahead of ourselves considering we're both going through the same thing so we're trying real hard not to get too excited. but it is exciting. that said i know you're really not supposed to date right away and it is definitely frowned upon to fraternize in treatment. you know..passing notes and such, secret meetings by the pond. i dont know. i'll keep working on myself and hope for the best.[/quote]
AWESOME!!!!! Good to hear about the meeting and the temp sponser.You will get out of this what you put into it. So please don't shortchange yourself.
As for the Woman you met, try just being friends first and foremost. Each of you should put your sobriety first , cuz without it you'll wind up where you started or worse.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
hey i don't want to be negative. i know i'm not different. i'm home now from treatment and scared shitless. today is day 60. i went to a meeting and it felt good. i do believe in a higher power. i believe that higher power helped me get to that meeting. i went even after trying to tell myself, "hey you were just in treatment this morning you'll be fine" but i went and it was a relief and i feel proud.
since discovering i can only focus on bettering myself, i can leave the rest in the hands of my HP. it's a great feeling. i also have a meeting set up with an alumni from my rehab and he will be my temporary sponsor. also i will be attending in out patient treatment here in town 3 times a week starting the 20th.
now here is where i could get in trouble. i went far away from home for treatment but on my last week there i met an amazing girl that i had a real connection with. then i learned she lives in the same city as me..and also just found out is a big pj fan. bonus. almost seems to good to be true so we're both understanding it's easy to get ahead of ourselves considering we're both going through the same thing so we're trying real hard not to get too excited. but it is exciting. that said i know you're really not supposed to date right away and it is definitely frowned upon to fraternize in treatment. you know..passing notes and such, secret meetings by the pond. i dont know. i'll keep working on myself and hope for the best.[/quote]
Nice work, finding something, anything you can believe in is all that you need to work this program properly. I don't even know what I believe in but there is something, somewhere...
They say don't make major changes in the first year of AA, so I can see how there is a big warning light flashing over your any possible connection. Personally, I've changed my business, lifestyle and so on, my wife even thoght she was pregnant recently with another kid (which would mean we'd have to move house) and I'm sober. I think that I don't encourage change, as I realise it brings stress, but if change comes I embrace it, try not to get as emotionally involved as I would have previously and I always try to recognise that it may affect my sobriety. Recognising the risk certainly minimises potential disaster.
There is the chapter in the big book that says you have to put sobriety first and then other things will work out. Put other things first and sobriety won't last...
hey i don't want to be negative. i know i'm not different. i'm home now from treatment and scared shitless. today is day 60. i went to a meeting and it felt good. i do believe in a higher power. i believe that higher power helped me get to that meeting. i went even after trying to tell myself, "hey you were just in treatment this morning you'll be fine" but i went and it was a relief and i feel proud.
since discovering i can only focus on bettering myself, i can leave the rest in the hands of my HP. it's a great feeling. i also have a meeting set up with an alumni from my rehab and he will be my temporary sponsor. also i will be attending in out patient treatment here in town 3 times a week starting the 20th.
now here is where i could get in trouble. i went far away from home for treatment but on my last week there i met an amazing girl that i had a real connection with. then i learned she lives in the same city as me..and also just found out is a big pj fan. bonus. almost seems to good to be true so we're both understanding it's easy to get ahead of ourselves considering we're both going through the same thing so we're trying real hard not to get too excited. but it is exciting. that said i know you're really not supposed to date right away and it is definitely frowned upon to fraternize in treatment. you know..passing notes and such, secret meetings by the pond. i dont know. i'll keep working on myself and hope for the best.
Nice work, finding something, anything you can believe in is all that you need to work this program properly. I don't even know what I believe in but there is something, somewhere...
They say don't make major changes in the first year of AA, so I can see how there is a big warning light flashing over your any possible connection. Personally, I've changed my business, lifestyle and so on, my wife even thoght she was pregnant recently with another kid (which would mean we'd have to move house) and I'm sober. I think that I don't encourage change, as I realise it brings stress, but if change comes I embrace it, try not to get as emotionally involved as I would have previously and I always try to recognise that it may affect my sobriety. Recognising the risk certainly minimises potential disaster.
There is the chapter in the big book that says you have to put sobriety first and then other things will work out. Put other things first and sobriety won't last...[/quote]
that's the key right there. i would have usually thrown myself head first into this. it's good to be aware of what's going on. she even told me we just have to be conscious of what's going on in our lives and the reason we were in rehab..to be sober. but it's kind of cool to think maybe we were supposed to meet there.
until then i'm about to go meet up with some guys i met in treatment. 2 of them just outside of town so that's cool. sober connections!
oh and the girl is still in treatment for 3 weeks anyways so she just calls now and then. nothing crazy
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 36,358
I tell ya , some days my attitude makes it more difficult to try to practice these principles in all my affairs.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I tell ya , some days my attitude makes it more difficult to try to practice these principles in all my affairs.
Keep holding on Micks. (((Good vibes)))
Thanks Fifth. Don't believe there's a serious danger of picking up again(always possible) , but man , do I wanna lash out. Not going to , expressing in a much healthier way.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
For those who may be getting into relationships during that first year, what the book says is to not make any major changes. They mean like don't divorce, move far away, and stuff like that, cuz that happens all the time when people get clean. For me, at that time, to not be in a relationship would have been a major change. I did need to be byself for at least 6 months to better learn about myself, since I had always been in a relationship, but not during the first year. That would have been too much to deal with the first year. I had to end the one I was in just to recognize I neede to get clean, but that happened BEFORE I came into the program. So, I did need to have some relationship. The lonliness, and having to get that much in tune with myself, that early on, would be too much. So, I did get in a relationship. Broke up after 5 years. Got in another one for 5 years, then I allowed myself the time to be alone with myself and learn about me.
I stayed clean and sober for 11 years. Not bad...many people who didn't get in relationships didn't make it that long. Relationship issues had nothing to do with my relapse.
So, read the book. Take what you need from tables and leave the rest at the table. Get a sponsor, but make sure they understand the program and what the book says.
I know a girl right now, who has been clean and sober in a program for over 20 years and still doesn't understand that some people still will need psychiatric drugs to survive. So, don't choose a sponsor based on their clean time alone, get one you can relate to, that they have what you want, and is willing. Be sure they don't have their own issues all screwed up, like using meetings to escape reality, thats the same as using. Many long timers do this.
Find people who have developed well-rounded lives. Who can live outside the program, as well as they do within it.
Lastly, most of us will outgrow our sponsor, so I use to always tell people I sponsored that I will be their temporary sponsor because I expect them to outgrow me. A good teacher will teach you all they know, but you will pick up additional stuff on your own, thats where you outgrow them.
Time flies when you are having fun. 5 months sober yesterday, I don't think I believed that was possible on September 8th last year.
Still struggling with that higher power but something must be working because it has carried me this far. I've struggled a lot with faith, particularly seeing all the terrible things that happen in the world. We've been in a maelstrom of divorces, bad news, illness and so on amongst friends here over the last few months and at times it can be difficult to see how that is all part of a greater plan. But I read something beautiful which reminded me that, in difficult times,faith is not a choice, it is an absolute necessity. It was from Anne Frank, whose reality was a million times worse than any drunk's, and it told me why she held on to faith:
"It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because i believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.
It is utterly impossible for me to build my life on a foundation of chaos, suffering and death.... when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too will end, that peace and tranquility will return once more. In the meantime, I must hold on to my ideal. Perhaps the day will come when I'll be able to realise them!".
Quiet around here, isn't it? I'll throw a couple of things out there...
1. You love your sponsor, great guy, really working the program. You go to his house for a meeting and see racist stickers all over his fridge which don't fit your personal values. he says they are his sons and he doesn't agree with them but allows them there as his son is an adult. Do you feel slightly nervous about moving towards the 4th and 5th steps with this guy?
2. You are going to see Pearl Jam about 500kms from home. Two friends are going to the town for three days, for the gig and to see you. They are your big former drinking buddies. Do you go to the gig a day early to see the old friends, knowing they are the kind of people who just won't "get" sobriety? Or do you just go for the gig, knowing you'll have non-drinking buddies with you and you'll be safer, but will disappoint your drinking friends (who you love because you've known each other since you were kids)?
3. You live in a foreign land. You have the beginnings of a meeting in English but the two other people who want to attend are hesitant because they are struggling. They want to just chat informally and not open the talks up to others. Do you push them to start a proper meeting or wait until the they signal their intent?
Hope everyone is keeping well out there and living clean. T
we're all going to the same place...
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 36,358
Quiet around here, isn't it? I'll throw a couple of things out there...
1. You love your sponsor, great guy, really working the program. You go to his house for a meeting and see racist stickers all over his fridge which don't fit your personal values. he says they are his sons and he doesn't agree with them but allows them there as his son is an adult. Do you feel slightly nervous about moving towards the 4th and 5th steps with this guy?
2. You are going to see Pearl Jam about 500kms from home. Two friends are going to the town for three days, for the gig and to see you. They are your big former drinking buddies. Do you go to the gig a day early to see the old friends, knowing they are the kind of people who just won't "get" sobriety? Or do you just go for the gig, knowing you'll have non-drinking buddies with you and you'll be safer, but will disappoint your drinking friends (who you love because you've known each other since you were kids)?
3. You live in a foreign land. You have the beginnings of a meeting in English but the two other people who want to attend are hesitant because they are struggling. They want to just chat informally and not open the talks up to others. Do you push them to start a proper meeting or wait until the they signal their intent?
Hope everyone is keeping well out there and living clean. T
1. A sponsers personal beliefs are none of my business, nor are his families. The question really is, " Is he working and living this program, and if so can he show me how that is done?" As for doing step 5, the books direction is finding that closed mouth friend who understands what we're after with this step.
2. By all means schedule a visit but leave yourself an out.. If possible bring a sober friend along. Research , what if any , meetings are in that town and make it a point to go. Most of all ENJOY PEARL JAM!!!!!!
3. Fine for now , in my opinion.But potentially dangerous for THEM , meetings ,formal or otherwise are an intregal part of learning and sharing. But might suggest continue seeking out others who would be interested in the type of meeting you seek. Much of "AA work" is done in these informal settings, i.e. " meetings BEFORE the meetings" so in the grand scheme of things not a bad thing. Just NOT a replacement for a structered meeting.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
1) I have to show up for my own recovery...that means staying vigilant about my disease.
2) What other people think of me is none of my business..
3) Be aware of your surroundings.. if you have a bad feeling about going somewhere.. you are probably right..
4) My absence at any "drinking buddies" social event is always far less memorable than I convince myself it will bes.. I'm not that special...no matter how good my friendship is with them...
and don't drink NO MATTER WHAT..
just my two cents..
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
1. I like the sponsor, he really lives the program every, single day. I do worry about his beliefs a little but I am satisfied that he is not the fascist, as the fridge stickers were gone the next week after I mentioned them. I think he was a little embarrassed by them.
2. My old "drinking buddies" will certainly be absolutely disgusted by my sobriety but I don't care what the hell they think, we haven't agreed on anything in the last 20 years, so whay start now?! I'm looking forward to going to Belin a day early, as I'm sure that in such a big city I'll be able to take in an English speaking AA meetings both the day before and the day of the concert - perhaps even my first real English meetings...
3. As for the group here, we'll see. I'm comfortable in my sobriety and working hard on it. I think I should be open to anything but never put myself in a position where I risk my own sobriety dependant on others'. If they don't wanna do it, informally chatting occassionally is fine. If they do, let's do it properly. Either way, I have to work my program.
Any more advice anyone has is always welcome....
we're all going to the same place...
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 36,358
Topic for discussion. At least those familiar with AA literature. Involves the 12 and 12.
I've been attending the same meeting with regularity for going on four years now. Tuesdays are 12 aqnd 12 format.A particular subgroup(disparaging , I know) Comments in such a way as to discount or give a backhanded compliment to whats written that book. Their collective mantra is Big Book and ONLY Big Book is the ONLY way.
Now my point of view is this, given that the 12+12 was written after 18 years of AA in existence, wouldn't it stand to reason that more was revealed in that time? And couldn't or even shouldn't we use this book in conjunction with the big book? Particularly for step 4. Seems to me that the questions for 4 posed in the 12+12 both more narrowly focus and broaden this step at the same time.Utilizing those set of questions and any others that may arise , should surely help us be MORE thorough and honest.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Topic for discussion. At least those familiar with AA literature. Involves the 12 and 12.
I've been attending the same meeting with regularity for going on four years now. Tuesdays are 12 aqnd 12 format.A particular subgroup(disparaging , I know) Comments in such a way as to discount or give a backhanded compliment to whats written that book. Their collective mantra is Big Book and ONLY Big Book is the ONLY way.
Now my point of view is this, given that the 12+12 was written after 18 years of AA in existence, wouldn't it stand to reason that more was revealed in that time? And couldn't or even shouldn't we use this book in conjunction with the big book? Particularly for step 4. Seems to me that the questions for 4 posed in the 12+12 both more narrowly focus and broaden this step at the same time.Utilizing those set of questions and any others that may arise , should surely help us be MORE thorough and honest.
Thoughts?
Being new to this, I read the Big Book first and felt I understood the basic scheme of the program but was in no position to work a thorough program only using the information therein. Now I'm working the steps, I lean more heavily on 12&12 to give me some advice on how to actually go about doing it and why it makes sense.
The Big Book is a book of hope, the 12&12 is a manual for getting into action. They go hand in hand.
There is a certain amount of nostalgia connected to the Big Book, sure it is brilliant but it's brilliance should not diminish the importance of other literature that is out there. The most important book for me right now is "Daily Reflections", it makes sure I start my day with a little AA and if I start well, I can live well ...
I knew I re-upped my membership for some reason, not just for tickets either.
Never seen a thread like this one, but I'm sooo super grateful to see this one on here today. I've been in the program about 9 months, but am still working on getting my 90 day chip. I'll get there. I just have to surrender at some point.
As soon as I got sober, I swear my world completely changed, mostly for the very good, but I've also dealt with some overwhelming loss. An uncle, my grandmother, a good friend committed suicide, then I lost my godfather verrrry suddenly & now my best friend's mom just died. It would be SO EASY to sit at some bar and feel sorry for myself and get shit faced, but I know that won't help. Be gone, self pity. (Easier said than done.)
My friend needs me to be there for him this weekend and beyond & I won't do anyone any favors by being drunk.
Really glad I stumbled onto this thread. Every reminder helps. Thanks..
"If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
I knew I re-upped my membership for some reason, not just for tickets either.
Never seen a thread like this one, but I'm sooo super grateful to see this one on here today. I've been in the program about 9 months, but am still working on getting my 90 day chip. I'll get there. I just have to surrender at some point.
As soon as I got sober, I swear my world completely changed, mostly for the very good, but I've also dealt with some overwhelming loss. An uncle, my grandmother, a good friend committed suicide, then I lost my godfather verrrry suddenly & now my best friend's mom just died. It would be SO EASY to sit at some bar and feel sorry for myself and get shit faced, but I know that won't help. Be gone, self pity. (Easier said than done.)
My friend needs me to be there for him this weekend and beyond & I won't do anyone any favors by being drunk.
Really glad I stumbled onto this thread. Every reminder helps. Thanks..
Hi, great to have another new 'face' here.
The activity here comes and goes but, like AA, it is always here
For anyone who has followed my friend Ellie's thread on sobriety , a repeat of her appearance on Oprah is on today at 4pm est (abc)..
sorry for the late notice!
Wow! Thats a nice blog about the first meeting. I will always remember mine. I was angry, scared, sick and tired, etc. I went on my own, no threats.
I remember thinking how they were all worse than me. I always thought that when I was using too. I always used less than the people around me so I wouldn't be as bad. Someone told me I wasn't there be accident. I thought , "well I am". I wasn't. I needed to be there worse than I knew.
Its ture about no one ending up at a meeting by accident.
I am going to watch Oprah now. Thanx
I knew I re-upped my membership for some reason, not just for tickets either.
Never seen a thread like this one, but I'm sooo super grateful to see this one on here today. I've been in the program about 9 months, but am still working on getting my 90 day chip. I'll get there. I just have to surrender at some point.
As soon as I got sober, I swear my world completely changed, mostly for the very good, but I've also dealt with some overwhelming loss. An uncle, my grandmother, a good friend committed suicide, then I lost my godfather verrrry suddenly & now my best friend's mom just died. It would be SO EASY to sit at some bar and feel sorry for myself and get shit faced, but I know that won't help. Be gone, self pity. (Easier said than done.)
My friend needs me to be there for him this weekend and beyond & I won't do anyone any favors by being drunk.
Really glad I stumbled onto this thread. Every reminder helps. Thanks..
Hi, great to have another new 'face' here.
The activity here comes and goes but, like AA, it is always here
Welcome , welcome. Coffee's over there!!!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 36,358
So , a test of sorts is coming up.Wanting to hang out with some fellow fans , vast majority of which will be drinking and trying to find a way to be helpful. Thinking voluteering for a wishlist event would fill the bill.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
So , a test of sorts is coming up.Wanting to hang out with some fellow fans , vast majority of which will be drinking and trying to find a way to be helpful. Thinking voluteering for a wishlist event would fill the bill.
I'll be at Hartford and Boston shows and pre-parties..
Does that help any?
Scotty
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 36,358
So , a test of sorts is coming up.Wanting to hang out with some fellow fans , vast majority of which will be drinking and trying to find a way to be helpful. Thinking voluteering for a wishlist event would fill the bill.
I'll be at Hartford and Boston shows and pre-parties..
Does that help any?
Scotty
strangely yes. another alky is attending in another city. Whats your phone # in case?
Actually just found out today who is attending with me. Fellow alky and a good friend to boot. So I'm covered.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Anybody going to either MSG show? I'm coming in from Phoenix and would love to meet up with some fellow AA's. Been sober 5.5 mo's. My family lives in Jersey so I'll be in the area until monday morning. BTW this is a rad thread. Feel free to pm me...
Comments
I was clean 11 years. I also went to the bars whenever I wanted. After 11 years, it got me. I used after all that time cuz I hung around alcohol.[/quote]
hey i don't want to be negative. i know i'm not different. i'm home now from treatment and scared shitless. today is day 60. i went to a meeting and it felt good. i do believe in a higher power. i believe that higher power helped me get to that meeting. i went even after trying to tell myself, "hey you were just in treatment this morning you'll be fine" but i went and it was a relief and i feel proud.
since discovering i can only focus on bettering myself, i can leave the rest in the hands of my HP. it's a great feeling. i also have a meeting set up with an alumni from my rehab and he will be my temporary sponsor. also i will be attending in out patient treatment here in town 3 times a week starting the 20th.
now here is where i could get in trouble. i went far away from home for treatment but on my last week there i met an amazing girl that i had a real connection with. then i learned she lives in the same city as me..and also just found out is a big pj fan. bonus. almost seems to good to be true so we're both understanding it's easy to get ahead of ourselves considering we're both going through the same thing so we're trying real hard not to get too excited. but it is exciting. that said i know you're really not supposed to date right away and it is definitely frowned upon to fraternize in treatment. you know..passing notes and such, secret meetings by the pond. i dont know. i'll keep working on myself and hope for the best.[/quote]
AWESOME!!!!! Good to hear about the meeting and the temp sponser.You will get out of this what you put into it. So please don't shortchange yourself.
As for the Woman you met, try just being friends first and foremost. Each of you should put your sobriety first , cuz without it you'll wind up where you started or worse.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
since discovering i can only focus on bettering myself, i can leave the rest in the hands of my HP. it's a great feeling. i also have a meeting set up with an alumni from my rehab and he will be my temporary sponsor. also i will be attending in out patient treatment here in town 3 times a week starting the 20th.
now here is where i could get in trouble. i went far away from home for treatment but on my last week there i met an amazing girl that i had a real connection with. then i learned she lives in the same city as me..and also just found out is a big pj fan. bonus. almost seems to good to be true so we're both understanding it's easy to get ahead of ourselves considering we're both going through the same thing so we're trying real hard not to get too excited. but it is exciting. that said i know you're really not supposed to date right away and it is definitely frowned upon to fraternize in treatment. you know..passing notes and such, secret meetings by the pond. i dont know. i'll keep working on myself and hope for the best.[/quote]
Nice work, finding something, anything you can believe in is all that you need to work this program properly. I don't even know what I believe in but there is something, somewhere...
They say don't make major changes in the first year of AA, so I can see how there is a big warning light flashing over your any possible connection. Personally, I've changed my business, lifestyle and so on, my wife even thoght she was pregnant recently with another kid (which would mean we'd have to move house) and I'm sober. I think that I don't encourage change, as I realise it brings stress, but if change comes I embrace it, try not to get as emotionally involved as I would have previously and I always try to recognise that it may affect my sobriety. Recognising the risk certainly minimises potential disaster.
There is the chapter in the big book that says you have to put sobriety first and then other things will work out. Put other things first and sobriety won't last...
Nice work, finding something, anything you can believe in is all that you need to work this program properly. I don't even know what I believe in but there is something, somewhere...
They say don't make major changes in the first year of AA, so I can see how there is a big warning light flashing over your any possible connection. Personally, I've changed my business, lifestyle and so on, my wife even thoght she was pregnant recently with another kid (which would mean we'd have to move house) and I'm sober. I think that I don't encourage change, as I realise it brings stress, but if change comes I embrace it, try not to get as emotionally involved as I would have previously and I always try to recognise that it may affect my sobriety. Recognising the risk certainly minimises potential disaster.
There is the chapter in the big book that says you have to put sobriety first and then other things will work out. Put other things first and sobriety won't last...[/quote]
that's the key right there. i would have usually thrown myself head first into this. it's good to be aware of what's going on. she even told me we just have to be conscious of what's going on in our lives and the reason we were in rehab..to be sober. but it's kind of cool to think maybe we were supposed to meet there.
until then i'm about to go meet up with some guys i met in treatment. 2 of them just outside of town so that's cool. sober connections!
oh and the girl is still in treatment for 3 weeks anyways so she just calls now and then. nothing crazy
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Keep holding on Micks. (((Good vibes)))
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I hear you there! I need a meeting today
Hang in there.
I stayed clean and sober for 11 years. Not bad...many people who didn't get in relationships didn't make it that long. Relationship issues had nothing to do with my relapse.
So, read the book. Take what you need from tables and leave the rest at the table. Get a sponsor, but make sure they understand the program and what the book says.
I know a girl right now, who has been clean and sober in a program for over 20 years and still doesn't understand that some people still will need psychiatric drugs to survive. So, don't choose a sponsor based on their clean time alone, get one you can relate to, that they have what you want, and is willing. Be sure they don't have their own issues all screwed up, like using meetings to escape reality, thats the same as using. Many long timers do this.
Find people who have developed well-rounded lives. Who can live outside the program, as well as they do within it.
Lastly, most of us will outgrow our sponsor, so I use to always tell people I sponsored that I will be their temporary sponsor because I expect them to outgrow me. A good teacher will teach you all they know, but you will pick up additional stuff on your own, thats where you outgrow them.
http://onecraftymother.blogspot.com/201 ... ilure.html
"If you don't know what to do... do nothing at all"...
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Still struggling with that higher power but something must be working because it has carried me this far. I've struggled a lot with faith, particularly seeing all the terrible things that happen in the world. We've been in a maelstrom of divorces, bad news, illness and so on amongst friends here over the last few months and at times it can be difficult to see how that is all part of a greater plan. But I read something beautiful which reminded me that, in difficult times,faith is not a choice, it is an absolute necessity. It was from Anne Frank, whose reality was a million times worse than any drunk's, and it told me why she held on to faith:
"It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because i believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.
It is utterly impossible for me to build my life on a foundation of chaos, suffering and death.... when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too will end, that peace and tranquility will return once more. In the meantime, I must hold on to my ideal. Perhaps the day will come when I'll be able to realise them!".
http://onecraftymother.blogspot.com/201 ... shots.html
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
1. You love your sponsor, great guy, really working the program. You go to his house for a meeting and see racist stickers all over his fridge which don't fit your personal values. he says they are his sons and he doesn't agree with them but allows them there as his son is an adult. Do you feel slightly nervous about moving towards the 4th and 5th steps with this guy?
2. You are going to see Pearl Jam about 500kms from home. Two friends are going to the town for three days, for the gig and to see you. They are your big former drinking buddies. Do you go to the gig a day early to see the old friends, knowing they are the kind of people who just won't "get" sobriety? Or do you just go for the gig, knowing you'll have non-drinking buddies with you and you'll be safer, but will disappoint your drinking friends (who you love because you've known each other since you were kids)?
3. You live in a foreign land. You have the beginnings of a meeting in English but the two other people who want to attend are hesitant because they are struggling. They want to just chat informally and not open the talks up to others. Do you push them to start a proper meeting or wait until the they signal their intent?
Hope everyone is keeping well out there and living clean. T
2. By all means schedule a visit but leave yourself an out.. If possible bring a sober friend along. Research , what if any , meetings are in that town and make it a point to go. Most of all ENJOY PEARL JAM!!!!!!
3. Fine for now , in my opinion.But potentially dangerous for THEM , meetings ,formal or otherwise are an intregal part of learning and sharing. But might suggest continue seeking out others who would be interested in the type of meeting you seek. Much of "AA work" is done in these informal settings, i.e. " meetings BEFORE the meetings" so in the grand scheme of things not a bad thing. Just NOT a replacement for a structered meeting.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I always try to remember:
1) I have to show up for my own recovery...that means staying vigilant about my disease.
2) What other people think of me is none of my business..
3) Be aware of your surroundings.. if you have a bad feeling about going somewhere.. you are probably right..
4) My absence at any "drinking buddies" social event is always far less memorable than I convince myself it will bes.. I'm not that special...no matter how good my friendship is with them...
and don't drink NO MATTER WHAT..
just my two cents..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
1. I like the sponsor, he really lives the program every, single day. I do worry about his beliefs a little but I am satisfied that he is not the fascist, as the fridge stickers were gone the next week after I mentioned them. I think he was a little embarrassed by them.
2. My old "drinking buddies" will certainly be absolutely disgusted by my sobriety but I don't care what the hell they think, we haven't agreed on anything in the last 20 years, so whay start now?! I'm looking forward to going to Belin a day early, as I'm sure that in such a big city I'll be able to take in an English speaking AA meetings both the day before and the day of the concert - perhaps even my first real English meetings...
3. As for the group here, we'll see. I'm comfortable in my sobriety and working hard on it. I think I should be open to anything but never put myself in a position where I risk my own sobriety dependant on others'. If they don't wanna do it, informally chatting occassionally is fine. If they do, let's do it properly. Either way, I have to work my program.
Any more advice anyone has is always welcome....
I've been attending the same meeting with regularity for going on four years now. Tuesdays are 12 aqnd 12 format.A particular subgroup(disparaging , I know) Comments in such a way as to discount or give a backhanded compliment to whats written that book. Their collective mantra is Big Book and ONLY Big Book is the ONLY way.
Now my point of view is this, given that the 12+12 was written after 18 years of AA in existence, wouldn't it stand to reason that more was revealed in that time? And couldn't or even shouldn't we use this book in conjunction with the big book? Particularly for step 4. Seems to me that the questions for 4 posed in the 12+12 both more narrowly focus and broaden this step at the same time.Utilizing those set of questions and any others that may arise , should surely help us be MORE thorough and honest.
Thoughts?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Being new to this, I read the Big Book first and felt I understood the basic scheme of the program but was in no position to work a thorough program only using the information therein. Now I'm working the steps, I lean more heavily on 12&12 to give me some advice on how to actually go about doing it and why it makes sense.
The Big Book is a book of hope, the 12&12 is a manual for getting into action. They go hand in hand.
There is a certain amount of nostalgia connected to the Big Book, sure it is brilliant but it's brilliance should not diminish the importance of other literature that is out there. The most important book for me right now is "Daily Reflections", it makes sure I start my day with a little AA and if I start well, I can live well ...
http://www.onecraftymother.com/2010/03/ ... three.html
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Never seen a thread like this one, but I'm sooo super grateful to see this one on here today. I've been in the program about 9 months, but am still working on getting my 90 day chip. I'll get there. I just have to surrender at some point.
As soon as I got sober, I swear my world completely changed, mostly for the very good, but I've also dealt with some overwhelming loss. An uncle, my grandmother, a good friend committed suicide, then I lost my godfather verrrry suddenly & now my best friend's mom just died. It would be SO EASY to sit at some bar and feel sorry for myself and get shit faced, but I know that won't help. Be gone, self pity. (Easier said than done.)
My friend needs me to be there for him this weekend and beyond & I won't do anyone any favors by being drunk.
Really glad I stumbled onto this thread. Every reminder helps. Thanks..
Hi, great to have another new 'face' here.
The activity here comes and goes but, like AA, it is always here
For anyone who has followed my friend Ellie's thread on sobriety , a repeat of her appearance on Oprah is on today at 4pm est (abc)..
sorry for the late notice!
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
I remember thinking how they were all worse than me. I always thought that when I was using too. I always used less than the people around me so I wouldn't be as bad. Someone told me I wasn't there be accident. I thought , "well I am". I wasn't. I needed to be there worse than I knew.
Its ture about no one ending up at a meeting by accident.
I am going to watch Oprah now. Thanx
she was the last 15 minutes of the hour segment..
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I'll be at Hartford and Boston shows and pre-parties..
Does that help any?
Scotty
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Actually just found out today who is attending with me. Fellow alky and a good friend to boot. So I'm covered.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14