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Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

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    bflynn1bflynn1 Posts: 1,394
    Thanks everyone. I appreciate it. Everything will be fine. Like @PJ_Soul I've always been independent and fine with being single for as long as I feel like. She's taking it hard because naturally she thought we were going to get married. She did say that she wanted to be mad at me but couldn't because I was honest and did the right thing. I told her that I hope she can look back and appreciate me for it someday.
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    Yes
    I have 4 kids. Love wine.
    There are some very loving people here, good people.

    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
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    Yes
    Kids= Love for wine.

    Got it, lol!
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    mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,900
    Yes
    Kids= Love for wine.

    Got it, lol!
    Wine/craft beer is key when having 5 kids.  Shit sometimes I am so stressed I mix the two together along with some ice for good measure.  ;)
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
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    ^^^LOL!!

    I like the headshot of the kid from The Goonies/Temple of Doom. Nice touch.
    It's Satoru Iwata...
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
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    No
    ^^^LOL!!

    I like the headshot of the kid from The Goonies/Temple of Doom. Nice touch.
    It's Satoru Iwata...
    Too late I already put up a photo of the kid from The Goonies on my wall!
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    mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,900
    Yes
    I have 4 kids. Love wine.
    There are some very loving people here, good people.

    Once you get out of the amt everyone is really cool. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
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    HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer Maryland Posts: 16,419
    "I don't want kids, ever." is a first-date disclaimer for me...  I don't get many second dates. :lol:
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    HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,835
    shit, my wife and I even discussed what religion or not we would raise our kids as before we were even living together. I can't imagine lying or not broaching the subject prior to marriage. that's crazy to me. 
    Flight Risk out NOW!

    www.headstonesband.com




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    Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 29,049
    edited November 2018
    shit, my wife and I even discussed what religion or not we would raise our kids as before we were even living together. I can't imagine lying or not broaching the subject prior to marriage. that's crazy to me. 
    Yeah.. isn't the first part of being together all about being up all night talking, and and trying to figure out Donnie Darko... 
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
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    No
    shit, my wife and I even discussed what religion or not we would raise our kids as before we were even living together. I can't imagine lying or not broaching the subject prior to marriage. that's crazy to me. 
    Yeah.. isn't the first part of being together all about being up all night talking, and and trying to figure out Donnie Darko... 
    Or better yet, watch this and avoid misinterpreting Donnie Darko...
    1 sheet movie poster
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    No
    "I don't want kids, ever." is a first-date disclaimer for me...  I don't get many second dates. :lol:
    You must not have dated a woman from this site then, because quite a few of us would say, "I'm down like a clown, Charlie Brown."
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    bootlegger10bootlegger10 Posts: 15,544
    Yes
    I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.
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    HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,835
    I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.
    no more selfish than people like me who wanted to bring kids into a world that, as you said, doesn't need more humans. 

    I like the "best years of my life" going to school events, sport events, and carpooling. I cry with absolute joy regularly because of my kids. I don't judge anyone for the choices they make in their life. having/not having kids is a very personal choice.  I would certainly never tell anyone they are "missing out" by not having kids. if you don't want any, you aren't missing out. I wanted them, so I'm not missing out not having them. 

    it's definitely not all rosey and white picket fence shit. But I wouldn't make a different choice if I could. 
    Flight Risk out NOW!

    www.headstonesband.com




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    Gonna feel nice getting drunk now. Need to respond and show her it's all good, when in reality I feel like:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XMU_3o5RRs

    Happy friday on y'all.


    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
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    Yes
    Gonna feel nice getting drunk now. Need to respond and show her it's all good, when in reality I feel like:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XMU_3o5RRs

    Happy friday on y'all.


    I will raise a glass. Good health sir
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
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    mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,900
    Yes
    I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.
    Aren’t you glad your parents didn’t think like that?  
    Having kids is definitely time consuming and you definitely give things up but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have fished my whole life and my greatest fishing memories are when  my kids caught their first fish. It was also icing on the cake because my dad was there. 
    To each their own. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
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    bootlegger10bootlegger10 Posts: 15,544
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.
    Aren’t you glad your parents didn’t think like that?  
    Having kids is definitely time consuming and you definitely give things up but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have fished my whole life and my greatest fishing memories are when  my kids caught their first fish. It was also icing on the cake because my dad was there. 
    To each their own. 
    I wouldn't be here to know if they hadn't.  No, obviously there are plenty of reasons to have kids as billions of us are here on the earth right now.  People say everything changes when you have a kid of your own. 
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    mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,900
    Yes
    mcgruff10 said:
    I have no interest in having kids and don't know why people would want multiple kids.  You are trading the best years of your life for school events, sport events, and carpooling.   Maybe that makes me selfish, but like PJsoul said, the world has enough people in it.
    Aren’t you glad your parents didn’t think like that?  
    Having kids is definitely time consuming and you definitely give things up but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have fished my whole life and my greatest fishing memories are when  my kids caught their first fish. It was also icing on the cake because my dad was there. 
    To each their own. 
    I wouldn't be here to know if they hadn't.  No, obviously there are plenty of reasons to have kids as billions of us are here on the earth right now.  People say everything changes when you have a kid of your own. 
    Oh it definitely does bud. The time you once had is gone. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
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    dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 20,827
    Yes
    I like being a dad; that doesn't mean I'm not counting down the days until they're out of my house and I can get the fuck out of Massachusetts. 
    I SAW PEARL JAM
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    PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 49,565
    edited November 2018
    Yes
    I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
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    No
    I'm glad none of you hate being a parent. That would be really awkward. "I hate those sumbitches they eat all of the good cereal."
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    darwinstheorydarwinstheory LaPorte, IN Posts: 5,789
    Yes
    "I don't want kids, ever." is a first-date disclaimer for me...  I don't get many second dates. :lol:
    Agreed. I would tell friends and family how I would tell dates that on the first date. Everyone always looked at me like I was an insane prick...which may or may not be true.

    I mean, I never felt the desire to father a child. At all. Not sure why, but just the thought makes me cringe. That said, I'm more than happy to practice.

    For me, it was important to know that it was clear and there were no miscon(tra)ceptions about it. After all, no need in a second date if both parties are on different end of the spectrum here. 

    *I would note that should a pregnancy have ever occurred from my actions, and she decided to keep the child, I would absolutely be okay with that and be involved.
    "A smart monkey doesn't monkey around with another monkey's monkey" - Darwin's Theory
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    HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,835
    I'm glad none of you hate being a parent. That would be really awkward. "I hate those sumbitches they eat all of the good cereal."
    I have my moments. Never "hate", or even regret, but just last night, my 9 year old, who sometimes goes on a tear and doesn't stop fucking talking. I was having a nervous fucking breakdown of anxiety, trying to rest before I went to the STP show, and she didn't take a breath for an hour talking loudly to my wife about some pc game called Prodigy. Then she was blow drying her hair, and started SHOUTING her explanation of the game over the sound of the blow dryer, 3 feet from my bedroom door. I screamed from my room for her to please be quiet. 

    sometimes it's too much. other times it's not enough. it's a balance. 
    Flight Risk out NOW!

    www.headstonesband.com




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    HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,835
    PJ_Soul said:
    I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.
    I have actually said that, but not because I didn't want them, because i feel guilty for bringing them into the world we currently live in. I fear every day for what their lives will be like when they are my age. 
    Flight Risk out NOW!

    www.headstonesband.com




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    PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 49,565
    Yes
    PJ_Soul said:
    I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.
    I have actually said that, but not because I didn't want them, because i feel guilty for bringing them into the world we currently live in. I fear every day for what their lives will be like when they are my age. 
    Yeah, that's different. And definitely one of the major reasons that I'm glad I never had kids.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
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    Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Yes
    PJ_Soul said:
    I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.
    Any parent who abuses their children in any way probably didn't want kids/or kids for the right reason ... and there are a lot of abused children.  
    Give Peas A Chance…
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    PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 49,565
    edited November 2018
    Yes
    PJ_Soul said:
    I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.
    Any parent who abuses their children in any way probably didn't want kids/or kids for the right reason ... and there are a lot of abused children.  
    I don't know about that. I think many people who end up abusing their kids actually had good intentions... Not to excuse their actions in any way, of course. And sure, obviously some horrible people have kids for all the wrong reasons. Hell, some women go off birth control and get pregnant just to manipulate their partners and shit like that.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
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    Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Yes
    PJ_Soul said:
    I have actually met a few parents who said if they could do it all over again, they would not have had children... and I assume there are many more who think that but wouldn't say it out loud because they feel guilty for feeling that way. However, I believe the majority of parents do not regret it, no matter what they had to give up for it.
    What did these parents think it was going to be like?  Did any ever say?  Having kids is not like buying a TV if you don't like you can not return.  I know 1 person who swore they never wanted kids, then an accident happens... she decided to keep it and was intent on giving the child up for adoption, she is a single parent who would not change a moment since she found out she was pregnant...so it works out for some, and she struggles financially ...
    Give Peas A Chance…
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    rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    People tend to want to justify their decision to have kids or not moreso than other life decisions.  I think both sides overestimate the strength of their arguments too lol

    No kids- I get so tired of hearing about the freedom afforded by not having kids from people who do nothing but work, shop, watch TV, and take a week-long cruise once a year.
    You don't have more freedom than I do, you just have more free time...that you waste.

    Kids- Your children are only special to you and they don't make your life fulfilled, and they don't make your life happy.  If children made a person happy, there wouldn't be so many damn miserable people.  

    I think having kids (1 is enough for me) and not letting it stop you from living is the best solution.  The love you have for your child is such an intense feeling, it's something I wouldn't want to have lived a life without experiencing.  I definitely relate heavily to the idea that happiness is only real, or possible, when it's shared.  Everything that is amazing in this life is better with someone next to you who is loving it just as much as you.

    A person without kids can certainly have a fulfilling life, but they usually don't.
    A person with kids can certainly have the freedom to do essentially anything they want in life, but they usually don't.
    End of the day, lazy unimaginative schlubs are going to hate their lives either way, but they will still try to justify their position.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
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