A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

RogueStoner

Stay safe, Brian. Sending calming vibes for your anxiety and Mother Nature as well.

Spiritual_Chaos

Thankful for my friend sending down some sleepingpills. I really need to get some sleep tonight. 

RogueStoner

Everyone is struggling and has real problems. I just needed somewhere safe to vent. It’s just stupid rambling  so feel free to skip reading. 

I’m struggling again (still). I can feel my depression creeping up again. I don’t want to change my meds as it’s always such a crap shoot on what will work and the transition period is so rough. I figure as long as I’m not suicidal, it’s good enough. My anxiety is through the roof. I’m constantly worried about what I’m doing wrong, whether it’s homeschooling or wearing a mask properly or social distancing. I don’t really want to do anything because it’ll be wrong. Nothing sounds fun anymore. 

I feel so alone. I’m grateful for my amazing family but my extended family are all Trumpsters and we can’t talk at all now. I miss my friends. I miss people. I went out briefly this weekend and it sucked to not be able to talk to people like I used to. Not that I could do that now,  even without the social distancing rules. I’ve gotten so quiet and keep to myself now. I miss my old self. I used to laugh all the time and felt so peaceful. I want to reach out but don’t know what to say anymore so I just sit in silence and let friends think what they want as to why I’m not calling or texting. Even if I do reach out it’s just a couple of words and then awkward silence. Or I read vile shit on Facebook that I just can’t look past. So I assume no one wants to talk to me anymore and end up ghosting people. Then I get upset at myself and the cycle starts all over again. 

I care but sometimes wish I didn’t because then it wouldn’t hurt and I wouldn’t feel so helpless. I want to make others feel better but feel so awful myself. 

I feel sick writing this. I feel so exposed but I’m counting on this still being a safe place. And anonymous, so that helps. 

Thanks for giving me a place to get this out of my system. Gonna go have a good cry now. 

deadendp

brianlux said:

We're under a red flag warning Sunday and Monday with a chance of wide-spread dry lightning.  We may get nothing, we may get Mother Natures wrath upon us like so many others in the state of California have.  Who knows?  But it's that uncertainty that is building a pressure cooker of anxiety in my brain.  Sometimes it feels like my lid is going to blow off.  Most of the time it's just dread and worry.  I'm on the internet searching and searching for answers.  How lame.  There are none.  We're either gonna burn or we're not.  The essentials are packed.  There's nothing I can do... but hold the lid down.  The next two days will be... interesting.

How are you holding up, Brian?

Spiritual_Chaos said:

Thankful for my friend sending down some sleepingpills. I really need to get some sleep tonight. 

A lil time taking slerping pills just until your anxiety goes down and you can reset your patterns.  So kind of a friend to share with you to bring you through the rough stuff. 

RogueStoner said:

Everyone is struggling and has real problems. I just needed somewhere safe to vent. It’s just stupid rambling  so feel free to skip reading. 

I’m struggling again (still). I can feel my depression creeping up again. I don’t want to change my meds as it’s always such a crap shoot on what will work and the transition period is so rough. I figure as long as I’m not suicidal, it’s good enough. My anxiety is through the roof. I’m constantly worried about what I’m doing wrong, whether it’s homeschooling or wearing a mask properly or social distancing. I don’t really want to do anything because it’ll be wrong. Nothing sounds fun anymore. 

I feel so alone. I’m grateful for my amazing family but my extended family are all Trumpsters and we can’t talk at all now. I miss my friends. I miss people. I went out briefly this weekend and it sucked to not be able to talk to people like I used to. Not that I could do that now,  even without the social distancing rules. I’ve gotten so quiet and keep to myself now. I miss my old self. I used to laugh all the time and felt so peaceful. I want to reach out but don’t know what to say anymore so I just sit in silence and let friends think what they want as to why I’m not calling or texting. Even if I do reach out it’s just a couple of words and then awkward silence. Or I read vile shit on Facebook that I just can’t look past. So I assume no one wants to talk to me anymore and end up ghosting people. Then I get upset at myself and the cycle starts all over again. 

I care but sometimes wish I didn’t because then it wouldn’t hurt and I wouldn’t feel so helpless. I want to make others feel better but feel so awful myself. 

I feel sick writing this. I feel so exposed but I’m counting on this still being a safe place. And anonymous, so that helps. 

Thanks for giving me a place to get this out of my system. Gonna go have a good cry now. 

This hangs on our fridge for a reason. I think you might need one, too. 

The world is a rough one right now. No one feels good enough. No one feels smart enough. No one feels like anyone likes anyone. However, despite the ugly there are good people, loving people and caring people. The toxic air leaves a thick fog muting out everything. Trust in knowing that the fog will rise and the world will settle again...some day. Sadly no time soon, but hang in there. 

RogueStoner

deadendp said:

This hangs on our fridge for a reason. I think you might need one, too. 

The world is a rough one right now. No one feels good enough. No one feels smart enough. No one feels like anyone likes anyone. However, despite the ugly there are good people, loving people and caring people. The toxic air leaves a thick fog muting out everything. Trust in knowing that the fog will rise and the world will settle again...some day. Sadly no time soon, but hang in there. 

Ok, that made me laugh. Thanks. I really needed that. Hope you had a great birthday. 

What it comes down to is a couple of close friends moved away and had other things that distanced us and I didn’t do my part to maintain contact and now it’s awkward and not the same. And a couple others are just on a different level since we realized we have different values, much more so than we thought. 

Now I’m stuck in this in between friends place I guess. It is what it is. Strange days. 

lastexitlondon

I need some advice.  1 week to go. Its my partners birthday then 3 days school goes back .  Keeping my 3 year old home until next year  no harm done. But her son is 13 and is going back. I cant live here if that happens. What do i do. As stupid as i seem im ordering a tent. I have  no clue about water toilet or electricity  but i need to run 
 And i feel to escape. But to where and how. Fuck all this 
 Lives are being lost but more lives are being decimated  by other peoples agenda. And  we are turning  on eachother with pressure to rush everything.  Its a pandemic 
 Not 1 of us has lived in one before.
There is no one size fits all.
If anything happens to me because of this i want you all to know  there must be more  rights  for  this kind of illness i have.  Its just  as important if not more  than some illnesses. You can die from this much more likely than many .
Mental turmoil  will be the death of me. 
I spent  years seeing and feeling imaginary dirt and germs on every damn thing.  Now its no longer  imaginary  and people  act like it is. Just  fucking how

brianlux

RogueStoner said:

Stay safe, Brian. Sending calming vibes for your anxiety and Mother Nature as well.

deadendp said:

brianlux said:

We're under a red flag warning Sunday and Monday with a chance of wide-spread dry lightning.  We may get nothing, we may get Mother Natures wrath upon us like so many others in the state of California have.  Who knows?  But it's that uncertainty that is building a pressure cooker of anxiety in my brain.  Sometimes it feels like my lid is going to blow off.  Most of the time it's just dread and worry.  I'm on the internet searching and searching for answers.  How lame.  There are none.  We're either gonna burn or we're not.  The essentials are packed.  There's nothing I can do... but hold the lid down.  The next two days will be... interesting.

How are you holding up, Brian?

Spiritual_Chaos said:

Thankful for my friend sending down some sleepingpills. I really need to get some sleep tonight. 

A lil time taking slerping pills just until your anxiety goes down and you can reset your patterns.  So kind of a friend to share with you to bring you through the rough stuff. 

RogueStoner said:

Everyone is struggling and has real problems. I just needed somewhere safe to vent. It’s just stupid rambling  so feel free to skip reading. 

I’m struggling again (still). I can feel my depression creeping up again. I don’t want to change my meds as it’s always such a crap shoot on what will work and the transition period is so rough. I figure as long as I’m not suicidal, it’s good enough. My anxiety is through the roof. I’m constantly worried about what I’m doing wrong, whether it’s homeschooling or wearing a mask properly or social distancing. I don’t really want to do anything because it’ll be wrong. Nothing sounds fun anymore. 

I feel so alone. I’m grateful for my amazing family but my extended family are all Trumpsters and we can’t talk at all now. I miss my friends. I miss people. I went out briefly this weekend and it sucked to not be able to talk to people like I used to. Not that I could do that now,  even without the social distancing rules. I’ve gotten so quiet and keep to myself now. I miss my old self. I used to laugh all the time and felt so peaceful. I want to reach out but don’t know what to say anymore so I just sit in silence and let friends think what they want as to why I’m not calling or texting. Even if I do reach out it’s just a couple of words and then awkward silence. Or I read vile shit on Facebook that I just can’t look past. So I assume no one wants to talk to me anymore and end up ghosting people. Then I get upset at myself and the cycle starts all over again. 

I care but sometimes wish I didn’t because then it wouldn’t hurt and I wouldn’t feel so helpless. I want to make others feel better but feel so awful myself. 

I feel sick writing this. I feel so exposed but I’m counting on this still being a safe place. And anonymous, so that helps. 

Thanks for giving me a place to get this out of my system. Gonna go have a good cry now. 

This hangs on our fridge for a reason. I think you might need one, too. 

The world is a rough one right now. No one feels good enough. No one feels smart enough. No one feels like anyone likes anyone. However, despite the ugly there are good people, loving people and caring people. The toxic air leaves a thick fog muting out everything. Trust in knowing that the fog will rise and the world will settle again...some day. Sadly no time soon, but hang in there. 

Thank you, my friends.  We did some distracting things this evening- a movie, jigsaw puzzle, some music.  Things were going pretty good until around 11:30 PM and suddenly a whiff of skunk crept into the house. 

Boom! That kind of jacked up my anxiety because the smell of skunk gives me terrible headaches.  I ran around and turned on outside lights or light in room with no outside light near by.  That tends to encourage those cute little striped bastards to take a hike. 

The smell has faded some but also lingers.  I'm dead tires at 1:29 AM.  Should be nearing pass-out stage soon. 

I hope you're all doing well!

lastexitlondon said:

I need some advice.  1 week to go. Its my partners birthday then 3 days school goes back .  Keeping my 3 year old home until next year  no harm done. But her son is 13 and is going back. I cant live here if that happens. What do i do. As stupid as i seem im ordering a tent. I have  no clue about water toilet or electricity  but i need to run 
 And i feel to escape. But to where and how. Fuck all this 
 Lives are being lost but more lives are being decimated  by other peoples agenda. And  we are turning  on eachother with pressure to rush everything.  Its a pandemic 
 Not 1 of us has lived in one before.
There is no one size fits all.
If anything happens to me because of this i want you all to know  there must be more  rights  for  this kind of illness i have.  Its just  as important if not more  than some illnesses. You can die from this much more likely than many .
Mental turmoil  will be the death of me. 
I spent  years seeing and feeling imaginary dirt and germs on every damn thing.  Now its no longer  imaginary  and people  act like it is. Just  fucking how

I'd say if the 13 year old moves in and that's how it's got to be, lay down some solid coronavirus rules.  Keep the surfaces disinfected.  If you don't trust the young man, keep your distance as much as possible.  That's all I can think of for now.  And hang in there!

lastexitlondon

He lives here  permanently.  And i dont trust him. Also its more the  transmission  from being in a school of 1500 and bringing it back here  to my safe place. I bought a tent . Feel insane but i cant now trust  the air even here. So that means i lose everything. Over  years  of ocd i lost the ability to hug and kiss my kids and then wife it cost me everything.  Now with my partner and daughter  i built that ability back up. Now its all lost . 

R.s sorry to bang on over  your post . 
Hang in there  and i hope peace comes your  way and yours brian.  

hedonist

Wishing you well, Rob. I wish I had more to offer right now, but know there are many here (and where you are too) sincerely hoping the best for you. 

RogueStoner

lastexitlondon said:

He lives here  permanently.  And i dont trust him. Also its more the  transmission  from being in a school of 1500 and bringing it back here  to my safe place. I bought a tent . Feel insane but i cant now trust  the air even here. So that means i lose everything. Over  years  of ocd i lost the ability to hug and kiss my kids and then wife it cost me everything.  Now with my partner and daughter  i built that ability back up. Now its all lost . 

R.s sorry to bang on over  your post . 
Hang in there  and i hope peace comes your  way and yours brian.  

Don’t be sorry. This place is for everyone. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I hope you stay safe and healthy. 

Purple Fairy Tree

Sending good vibes to @brianlux @RogueStoner and @lastexitlondon I hope your troubles resolve and things turn around for you all. I felt really ill with stress for about 4 days last week but I managed to turn it around and leave the head fog. It takes time and I've been following a workbook which really helped. 

brianlux

West Coast Dreamgirl said:

Sending good vibes to @brianlux @RogueStoner and @lastexitlondon I hope your troubles resolve and things turn around for you all. I felt really ill with stress for about 4 days last week but I managed to turn it around and leave the head fog. It takes time and I've been following a workbook which really helped. 

Many thanks and good vibes back to you, West Coast Dreamgirl   I hope the stress level is diminishing!  Hang in there!

RogueStoner

West Coast Dreamgirl said:

Sending good vibes to @brianlux @RogueStoner and @lastexitlondon I hope your troubles resolve and things turn around for you all. I felt really ill with stress for about 4 days last week but I managed to turn it around and leave the head fog. It takes time and I've been following a workbook which really helped. 

Thank you and sending good vibes to you too. What workbook are you following (if you don’t mind me asking)? That may help me since I’m having trouble finding a therapist. I used one years ago when I was hospitalized and it did help. 

Today I relieved my anxiety by working out and pool time. I feel better, more relaxed. 

I really appreciate all of you for being here and hope you all find peace too. Hugs to you all. 

Purple Fairy Tree

@RogueStoner
I downloaded a DBT workbook by Lineham and I've been listening to guided meditations:
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKrPqB59kg0&feature=share
Although I've only just started doing this it's really helped me take the focus from my thoughts to my body. I'd recommend giving this a go. I'm also having Reiki which takes you through a guided meditation whilst cleansing your chakras. First time I've tried it a few months ago and it really helped me bounce back to feeling my usual self.  I'd recommend this to anyone even if it's just the guided meditations when you are feeling not yourself. There are plenty others there too for anxiety, depression, sleep, raising positive vibrations, etc. 

I feel like I've been given my life back into the here and now rather than being stuck in a loop land of negative thoughts. I appreciate sharing with you guys too. Xxx

Purple Fairy Tree

RogueStoner

West Coast Dreamgirl said:

@RogueStoner
I downloaded a DBT workbook by Lineham and I've been listening to guided meditations:
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKrPqB59kg0&feature=share
Although I've only just started doing this it's really helped me take the focus from my thoughts to my body. I'd recommend giving this a go. I'm also having Reiki which takes you through a guided meditation whilst cleansing your chakras. First time I've tried it a few months ago and it really helped me bounce back to feeling my usual self.  I'd recommend this to anyone even if it's just the guided meditations when you are feeling not yourself. There are plenty others there too for anxiety, depression, sleep, raising positive vibrations, etc. 

I feel like I've been given my life back into the hear and now rather than being stuck in a loop land of negative thoughts. I appreciate sharing with you guys too. Xxx

Thanks! That all sounds great and may be just what I need. 

Fifthelement

Thinking of everyone who has shared on this thread. Even though we don’t see you around much, I hope everyone is holding on and doing okay.  I’m S ending out positive thoughts and energy into the universe if you need it.

njnancy

I need to read a lot of pages to catch up, it's been 2 years in pandemic time since I've been on. Crazy world, giving you all cyber socially distanced hugs. I miss u all. I need to read, I feel, before I post more. I'm alive though, yay. Love all of my fellow anxiety sufferers. Nothing like a mismanaged global pandemic to make an anxious mind just explode on occasion.  I am calm right now though, & I wanted to say hey to all you good people. I'll be back soon. ✌

lastexitlondon

Nancy i am you.  You are me. 
Glad to see your  words again. We love you here.

hedonist

So good to see you, Nancy. Big hugs from California