Tips for surviving in office environment

madtowndave

81 wrote:

rick1zoo2 wrote:

learn how to fart quietly

Fuck that....i'll fart as i please

Bless the office

+1

It's my office, and I'll fart when I goddamn want to.

JOEJOEJOE

If you get away with certain things, don't complain when others do too!

PJ-Cubs

rick1zoo2 wrote:

learn how to fart quietly

... and then casually leave the area

cutz

Get a job where you don't work in an office>

hgpjam11

Have a couple of friends to call "squrrel" for you - When an annoying person is talking to you for more than 3 minutes, your friend will call your phone so you can politely excuse yourself for an important call. At least once a day, someone saves me from endless chatter.

The Juggler

space heaters are prohibited.

81

The Juggler wrote:

space heaters are prohibited.

no they aren't

they also tell us we need one of the stupid plastic floor mats under our chairs.....i don't think so tim....it goes under one of my visitor chairs

The Juggler

81 wrote:

The Juggler wrote:

space heaters are prohibited.

no they aren't

they also tell us we need one of the stupid plastic floor mats under our chairs.....i don't think so tim....it goes under one of my visitor chairs

at my old company, we had an office manager lady that we called The Space Heater Nazi.

this chick was DETERMINED not to let any space heaters into her office. NOT ON HER WATCH.

she emailed out the "space heater policy" at least twice a year (early fall and middle of the winter usually). and she would also inspect everyone's work spaces multiple times a year.

i admired her tenacity.

81

The Juggler wrote:

81 wrote:

The Juggler wrote:

space heaters are prohibited.

no they aren't

they also tell us we need one of the stupid plastic floor mats under our chairs.....i don't think so tim....it goes under one of my visitor chairs

at my old company, we had an office manager lady that we called The Space Heater Nazi.

this chick was DETERMINED not to let any space heaters into her office. NOT ON HER WATCH.

she emailed out the "space heater policy" at least twice a year (early fall and middle of the winter usually). and she would also inspect everyone's work spaces multiple times a year.

i admired her tenacity.

the bitch

gotta rebel against that shit....

about 2 years ago, they started a you gotta swipe your key card in teh AM...regardless if the doors are opened or shut so that they can track if you swiped at all.....

so first day in, i'm walking in, and the hr office assistant is behind me....i don't swipe and she says you gott a swipe...i said no....and kept walking.

right around 11:30 i get an email CC'd to my boss about it...saying i better get with the program... kicker is, nobody ever once asked why....perhaps i had forgotten my card. my boss never said a word about it then or during my review hr guy is long gone....never trust hr, they are evil

guess i should read up on our space heater policy...thought it was banned, but everyone has one....windows leak like a mother

morello

BinauralJam wrote:

Delete all personal e-mails before leaving everyday

I am a compulsive deleter. Any personal e-mails get deleted + the sent e-mails deleted too. It's stupid coz I know they can retrieve the from the server but delete, delete, delete!

dougfloyd

81 wrote:

RKCNDY wrote:

Never be friends with ANYBODY that you work with...think "everybody is a snitch"-if you must, set up a 'work FB' account, and have ONLY people from work on it.

Never talk about what you do outside the office, people will find ways to make you look bad.

a. never accept a coworker as a fb friend. that is what linkedin is for.

b. you worked in a shitty job. wow.

I'll second this one, never fb friend any coworkers, that won't end well.

hgpjam11 wrote:

Have a couple of friends to call "squrrel" for you - When an annoying person is talking to you for more than 3 minutes, your friend will call your phone so you can politely excuse yourself for an important call. At least once a day, someone saves me from endless chatter.

I used to take this a step further and whenever a meeting was coming up that I didn't want to attend I would create a scheduled job on one of the servers to send me a text page a few minutes after the meeting started so I'd have an excuse to leave and go check on the "urgent server issue"

Also, invest in some headphones so you can block out your annoying coworkers when they get too loud. Now that I work from home, that's one thing I definitely don't miss!

SPEEDY MCCREADY

Reading this thread, and the office lunch stealing thread, truly makes me happy.

Working in an office environment, is truly only one step up from pre-school.



Stealing co-workers food
Office snitches
etc.
etc.

Fucking ridiculous behavior from adults.

RKCNDY

dougfloyd wrote:

hgpjam11 wrote:

Have a couple of friends to call "squrrel" for you - When an annoying person is talking to you for more than 3 minutes, your friend will call your phone so you can politely excuse yourself for an important call. At least once a day, someone saves me from endless chatter.

I used to take this a step further and whenever a meeting was coming up that I didn't want to attend I would create a scheduled job on one of the servers to send me a text page a few minutes after the meeting started so I'd have an excuse to leave and go check on the "urgent server issue"

Also, invest in some headphones so you can block out your annoying coworkers when they get too loud. Now that I work from home, that's one thing I definitely don't miss!

I used to deal with 'special customers' (the ones that are lonely and go to the mall to talk to the employees). So, everybody knew the routine, as soon as those customers would walk in, one employee would 'go on break', and walk across the way to the pay phone, and call the store so we'd get 'stuck on the phone' and the lonely person would eventually leave once they realized that the person on the phone can't talk on the phone and to them at the same time.

I got yelled at for wearing headphones too...I wasn't being a 'team player'. :roll:

DS1119

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

Reading this thread, and the office lunch stealing thread, truly makes me happy.

Working in an office environment, is truly only one step up from pre-school.



Stealing co-workers food
Office snitches
etc.
etc.

Fucking ridiculous behavior from adults.

If you think offices are bad you should be a fly on the wall at a car dealership for a day.

Mamasan23

Never get involved with a co-worker :fp:

kw18

Mamasan23 wrote:

Never get involved with a co-worker :fp:

Best advice ever!

dougfloyd

RKCNDY wrote:

dougfloyd wrote:

hgpjam11 wrote:

Have a couple of friends to call "squrrel" for you - When an annoying person is talking to you for more than 3 minutes, your friend will call your phone so you can politely excuse yourself for an important call. At least once a day, someone saves me from endless chatter.

I used to take this a step further and whenever a meeting was coming up that I didn't want to attend I would create a scheduled job on one of the servers to send me a text page a few minutes after the meeting started so I'd have an excuse to leave and go check on the "urgent server issue"

Also, invest in some headphones so you can block out your annoying coworkers when they get too loud. Now that I work from home, that's one thing I definitely don't miss!

I used to deal with 'special customers' (the ones that are lonely and go to the mall to talk to the employees). So, everybody knew the routine, as soon as those customers would walk in, one employee would 'go on break', and walk across the way to the pay phone, and call the store so we'd get 'stuck on the phone' and the lonely person would eventually leave once they realized that the person on the phone can't talk on the phone and to them at the same time.

I got yelled at for wearing headphones too...I wasn't being a 'team player'. :roll:

Fuck teamwork

BinauralJam

morello wrote:

BinauralJam wrote:

Delete all personal e-mails before leaving everyday

I am a compulsive deleter. Any personal e-mails get deleted + the sent e-mails deleted too. It's stupid coz I know they can retrieve the from the server but delete, delete, delete!

:shock: Oh Boy, well as long as they dont crack my code words, right now they think i smoke alot of apple sauce.

RKCNDY

dougfloyd wrote:

Fuck teamwork

comebackgirl

I'm staying hidden in my office. Holy chaos! Staff screaming at each other and slamming doors :shock: :? I'll just be sitting her sipping my chai latte waiting for the smoke to clear :shock: