Nope, no phone numbers were exchanged. He does have my number, though, because I gave it to him yesterday in case he needed to reach me today after I had already left to meet him.
Ah. So what's the plan? Give him a few days to call then maybe drop an email?
We talked about biological determinism and his theory on how religion may have an evolutionary effect on male mating practices. We talked about the hierarchical nature of friend & sibling relationships in humans and how they relate to baboon interaction. (He brought it up, not me.)
And then I called my sister and told her I was going to kill her.
I am so entertained right now & impressed by this thread...you guys are awesome...I gotta say, the above almost made me p very deep stuff....I'm more impressed that you remembered all that....riveting
____, do you get the impression he knows he is good looking?
Maybe. And/or knows he's unbelievably talented & brilliant. He probably gets hit on a lot. He didn't really seem cocky though - just more confident than I imagined. Had he seemed more vulnerable, I think I would have been able to relate to him more.
Just because he didn't seem vulnerable on the first date doesn't mean he isn't. You broke the ice with him and if you're attracted go for it. Let him know you're interested and go from there. He wouldn't have met with you if he wasn't interested. :thumbup:
I would let him make the next move, he'll prob ask you to karaoke!
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
Nope, no phone numbers were exchanged. He does have my number, though, because I gave it to him yesterday in case he needed to reach me today after I had already left to meet him.
Ah. So what's the plan? Give him a few days to call then maybe drop an email?
I'm not sure what my plan is. The polite person in me feels like emailing him to say thanks, but I'll probably just drop it & let him contact me if he wants to. I'm not trying to chase after anyone. I think I was pretty clear in my initial email that I like him, and I mentioned when I left today that maybe we could continue our conversation sometime. If he wants to continue it, he knows how to reach me.
Or shit.... I don't know. I don't want to be rude. Maybe I should just email him & say thanks for the lemonade & conversation. (But the problem is that many guys are quick to mistake politeness for eagerness, which is not the message I want to send.)
Or shit.... I don't know. I don't want to be rude. Maybe I should just email him & say thanks for the lemonade & conversation. (But the problem is that many guys are quick to mistake politeness for eagerness, which is not the message I want to send.)
just email him, "thank-you for meeting with me, I had a nice time chatting with you"
if you're not actively seeking a date, then leave it at that. He'll ask you if he wants to see you again. You did pursue him in the first place.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
We talked about biological determinism and his theory on how religion may have an evolutionary effect on male mating practices. We talked about the hierarchical nature of friend & sibling relationships in humans and how they relate to baboon interaction. (He brought it up, not me.)
And then I called my sister and told her I was going to kill her.
I am so entertained right now & impressed by this thread...you guys are awesome...I gotta say, the above almost made me p very deep stuff....I'm more impressed that you remembered all that....riveting
I would have found the topic of conversation on a first date leaving me thinking :wtf: is he trying to be uber intellectual? :?
But I am impressed that you remembered the little details
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
We talked about biological determinism and his theory on how religion may have an evolutionary effect on male mating practices. We talked about the hierarchical nature of friend & sibling relationships in humans and how they relate to baboon interaction.
wow. is this the kinds of stuff other couples talk about? :?
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81
Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
We talked about biological determinism and his theory on how religion may have an evolutionary effect on male mating practices. We talked about the hierarchical nature of friend & sibling relationships in humans and how they relate to baboon interaction.
wow. is this the kinds of stuff other couples talk about? :?
first time i met my gf we talked about social constructs and the corruption of the political state and the ultimate need for revolution ...
It was funny, but as we were walking out he made a point to assure me that he's really very liberal. (I guess he thought some of the things he said about biology didn't sound very liberal.) I'm curious as to why he felt the need to let me know that.
Maybe he did some reverse stalking and found this board, confirming that you are a liberal? :shock:
Glad to hear it went well! all joking aside, that sounds like some interesting conversation. And I wouldnt think too much on the chemistry thing..it was a daytime meeting in a loud crowded place. I know some men (maybe just me, i suppose) need a relaxing environment with some booze to really get the butter rolling.
We talked about biological determinism and his theory on how religion may have an evolutionary effect on male mating practices. We talked about the hierarchical nature of friend & sibling relationships in humans and how they relate to baboon interaction. (He brought it up, not me.)
And then I called my sister and told her I was going to kill her.
I am so entertained right now & impressed by this thread...you guys are awesome...I gotta say, the above almost made me p very deep stuff....I'm more impressed that you remembered all that....riveting
I would have found the topic of conversation on a first date leaving me thinking :wtf: is he trying to be uber intellectual? :?
But I am impressed that you remembered the little details
It's funny, because on one hand I thought it was great & felt like we had that in common because those are the kinds of conversations I enjoy having but my friends always tell me to avoid with guys. On the other hand, he was being über-intellectual & it almost made me feel uncomfortable/inadequate because I haven't studied that stuff in a really long time & rarely do have such conversations anymore.
It's funny, because on one hand I thought it was great & felt like we had that in common because those are the kinds of conversations I enjoy having but my friends always tell me to avoid with guys. On the other hand, he was being über-intellectual & it almost made me feel uncomfortable/inadequate because I haven't studied that stuff in a really long time & rarely do have such conversations anymore.
It's sounds like you held your own... I am feeling inadequate reading the subject of the conversation
Don't put yourself down...
You put yourself out there... He had to do no work and it sounds like you talked well beyond what he thought would be the length...
It was funny, but as we were walking out he made a point to assure me that he's really very liberal. (I guess he thought some of the things he said about biology didn't sound very liberal.) I'm curious as to why he felt the need to let me know that.
Maybe he did some reverse stalking and found this board, confirming that you are a liberal? :shock:
Well, no. :? I don't think anyone would be able to tell what my political perspective is from this board. :?
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rick1zoo2
between a rock and a dumb place Posts: 12,632
We talked about biological determinism and his theory on how religion may have an evolutionary effect on male mating practices. We talked about the hierarchical nature of friend & sibling relationships in humans and how they relate to baboon interaction.
wow. is this the kinds of stuff other couples talk about? :?
first time i met my gf we talked about social constructs and the corruption of the political state and the ultimate need for revolution ...
now that I think about it, early on, we didn't do that much talking........
It's funny, because on one hand I thought it was great & felt like we had that in common because those are the kinds of conversations I enjoy having but my friends always tell me to avoid with guys. On the other hand, he was being über-intellectual & it almost made me feel uncomfortable/inadequate because I haven't studied that stuff in a really long time & rarely do have such conversations anymore.
It's sounds like you held your own... I am feeling inadequate reading the subject of the conversation
Don't put yourself down...
You put yourself out there... He had to do no work and it sounds like you talked well beyond what he thought would be the length...
All awesome signs...
Thanks. Although I don't think I was particularly articulate, I was at least able to keep up with the conversation.
I think I'm feeling kind of down about it this morning because I had a bad dream last night that I was at some activity of his in the music department & I totally didn't fit in - and then my sister showed up & made me look like an ass.
I'm just kind of feeling like he & I are in different worlds. What makes me sad is that I'd like to be in that world (regardless of him) - and I feel like I used to be - but I'm not now. For instance, I asked what music he listens to & he said Bach. Like, exclusively right now. About 15 years ago, I listened to a lot of Bach. He was my favorite composer. My boyfriend was a classical guitar major & performed his music for me all the time. I was taking an entire course on the local symphony orchestra & went to every show. I even TA'ed the music appreciation course. 15 years ago, I could have a conversation about Bach - his history, his musical style, the pieces I liked best & why. Now I can't even remember what century he was from or one song he composed. :( It's the curse if my horrible memory. I can become an expert on something & then forget everything about it within a couple years of not actively using the information. I really hate that.
I'm starting to wish we had talked more about reproductive health, which is my current area of expertise. He started talking about it early on, but I avoided saying much because I'm really passionate about the subject & that's not usually the kind of conversation people have the first time they meet. Had I known that's the kind of conversation we were going to have and really presented my thoughts on the subject, I probably would have come across more like I at least knew something.
You're right, though, that we talked longer than we planned. I don't know if that was indicative of a good conversation or just if he took too long to tell me about the last thing he was talking about.
We talked about biological determinism and his theory on how religion may have an evolutionary effect on male mating practices. We talked about the hierarchical nature of friend & sibling relationships in humans and how they relate to baboon interaction.
wow. is this the kinds of stuff other couples talk about? :?
first time i met my gf we talked about social constructs and the corruption of the political state and the ultimate need for revolution ...
Sounds like a great conversation to me! No wonder you fell for each other. :thumbup:
Look, everyone goes through points in their life where they love one thing or another... Changing taste is a sign of growing not forgetting. If you loved Bach that much, start listening again. I grew up a HUGE Bach fan... especially the Fugue's... Been to a ton of chamber music concerts... but it has been years. Does not mean I am not still a fan and would listen if given the opportunity. I would and do. It's something my father in law and I have in common. But I feel more complete because I have expanded into other musical interests, including this band... Just because he listens to Bach only, does not make him more adequate... In fact, sounds like he needs to expand his horizon a little.
You sound like a person who is passionate and has experienced a ton... Don't let anyone make you feel that you are not tops...
Thanks. Although I don't think I was particularly articulate, I was at least able to keep up with the conversation.
I think I'm feeling kind of down about it this morning because I had a bad dream last night that I was at some activity of his in the music department & I totally didn't fit in - and then my sister showed up & made me look like an ass.
I'm just kind of feeling like he & I are in different worlds. What makes me sad is that I'd like to be in that world (regardless of him) - and I feel like I used to be - but I'm not now. For instance, I asked what music he listens to & he said Bach. Like, exclusively right now. About 15 years ago, I listened to a lot of Bach. He was my favorite composer. My boyfriend was a classical guitar major & performed his music for me all the time. I was taking an entire course on the local symphony orchestra & went to every show. I even TA'ed the music appreciation course. 15 years ago, I could have a conversation about Bach - his history, his musical style, the pieces I liked best & why. Now I can't even remember what century he was from or one song he composed. :( It's the curse if my horrible memory. I can become an expert on something & then forget everything about it within a couple years of not actively using the information. I really hate that.
I'm starting to wish we had talked more about reproductive health, which is my current area of expertise. He started talking about it early on, but I avoided saying much because I'm really passionate about the subject & that's not usually the kind of conversation people have the first time they meet. Had I known that's the kind of conversation we were going to have and really presented my thoughts on the subject, I probably would have come across more like I at least knew something.
You're right, though, that we talked longer than we planned. I don't know if that was indicative of a good conversation or just if he took too long to tell me about the last thing he was talking about.
no need to feel sad ... sounds like a decent time ... he probably will want to get together again ...
although i gotta say - dude listens to bach exclusively now!?? ... that seems off kilter ... screams of pretentiousness ... but i'm probably wrong ...
How would you take it if a woman you didn't know had the hots for you & wanted to go out? How could the woman best approach the situation with you?
just go up to him with a friend of yours, get your friend to tap him on the shoulder, when he turns around get your friend to say " hi have you met ( your name)
Glasgow cathouse-1992-2-23, San diego sports arena-1995-11-06 & 07, Glasgow secc-2000-06-03, Tampa st petes times forum-2003-04-13, London O2 arena-2009-08-18, Belfast odyssey arena-2010-06-23.Leeds 2014 - 07-08
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81
Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
How would you take it if a woman you didn't know had the hots for you & wanted to go out? How could the woman best approach the situation with you?
just go up to him with a friend of yours, get your friend to tap him on the shoulder, when he turns around get your friend to say " hi have you met ( your name)
81 is now off the air
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81
Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
so if we have determined we don't want to date this guy....can we at least have a sordid affair with him.
Comments
Ah. So what's the plan? Give him a few days to call then maybe drop an email?
I am so entertained right now & impressed by this thread...you guys are awesome...I gotta say, the above almost made me p
Just because he didn't seem vulnerable on the first date doesn't mean he isn't. You broke the ice with him and if you're attracted go for it. Let him know you're interested and go from there. He wouldn't have met with you if he wasn't interested.
I would let him make the next move, he'll prob ask you to karaoke!
- Christopher McCandless
I'm not sure what my plan is. The polite person in me feels like emailing him to say thanks, but I'll probably just drop it & let him contact me if he wants to. I'm not trying to chase after anyone. I think I was pretty clear in my initial email that I like him, and I mentioned when I left today that maybe we could continue our conversation sometime. If he wants to continue it, he knows how to reach me.
Or shit.... I don't know. I don't want to be rude. Maybe I should just email him & say thanks for the lemonade & conversation. (But the problem is that many guys are quick to mistake politeness for eagerness, which is not the message I want to send.)
just email him, "thank-you for meeting with me, I had a nice time chatting with you"
if you're not actively seeking a date, then leave it at that. He'll ask you if he wants to see you again. You did pursue him in the first place.
- Christopher McCandless
I would have found the topic of conversation on a first date leaving me thinking :wtf: is he trying to be uber intellectual? :?
But I am impressed that you remembered the little details
we wait for second date ... one preferably with a little spirits involved ...
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
I am absolutely sure the following phrase was uttered by me... "Soooooo.... How about them Mets? :wtf:
wow. is this the kinds of stuff other couples talk about? :?
my brother says that all the time...
first time i met my gf we talked about social constructs and the corruption of the political state and the ultimate need for revolution ...
Is this a metaphor for finding the janitorial closet?
Maybe he did some reverse stalking and found this board, confirming that you are a liberal? :shock:
Glad to hear it went well! all joking aside, that sounds like some interesting conversation. And I wouldnt think too much on the chemistry thing..it was a daytime meeting in a loud crowded place. I know some men (maybe just me, i suppose) need a relaxing environment with some booze to really get the butter rolling.
It's funny, because on one hand I thought it was great & felt like we had that in common because those are the kinds of conversations I enjoy having but my friends always tell me to avoid with guys. On the other hand, he was being über-intellectual & it almost made me feel uncomfortable/inadequate because I haven't studied that stuff in a really long time & rarely do have such conversations anymore.
It's sounds like you held your own... I am feeling inadequate reading the subject of the conversation
Don't put yourself down...
You put yourself out there... He had to do no work and it sounds like you talked well beyond what he thought would be the length...
All awesome signs...
Well, no. :? I don't think anyone would be able to tell what my political perspective is from this board. :?
now that I think about it, early on, we didn't do that much talking........
Thanks. Although I don't think I was particularly articulate, I was at least able to keep up with the conversation.
I think I'm feeling kind of down about it this morning because I had a bad dream last night that I was at some activity of his in the music department & I totally didn't fit in - and then my sister showed up & made me look like an ass.
I'm just kind of feeling like he & I are in different worlds. What makes me sad is that I'd like to be in that world (regardless of him) - and I feel like I used to be - but I'm not now. For instance, I asked what music he listens to & he said Bach. Like, exclusively right now. About 15 years ago, I listened to a lot of Bach. He was my favorite composer. My boyfriend was a classical guitar major & performed his music for me all the time. I was taking an entire course on the local symphony orchestra & went to every show. I even TA'ed the music appreciation course. 15 years ago, I could have a conversation about Bach - his history, his musical style, the pieces I liked best & why. Now I can't even remember what century he was from or one song he composed. :( It's the curse if my horrible memory. I can become an expert on something & then forget everything about it within a couple years of not actively using the information. I really hate that.
I'm starting to wish we had talked more about reproductive health, which is my current area of expertise. He started talking about it early on, but I avoided saying much because I'm really passionate about the subject & that's not usually the kind of conversation people have the first time they meet. Had I known that's the kind of conversation we were going to have and really presented my thoughts on the subject, I probably would have come across more like I at least knew something.
You're right, though, that we talked longer than we planned. I don't know if that was indicative of a good conversation or just if he took too long to tell me about the last thing he was talking about.
Sounds like a great conversation to me! No wonder you fell for each other. :thumbup:
You sound like a person who is passionate and has experienced a ton... Don't let anyone make you feel that you are not tops...
Now about horrible memories... I am the worst.
no need to feel sad ... sounds like a decent time ... he probably will want to get together again ...
although i gotta say - dude listens to bach exclusively now!?? ... that seems off kilter ... screams of pretentiousness ... but i'm probably wrong ...
i'm gonna need a second date with this guy before i determine what's up :think:
just go up to him with a friend of yours, get your friend to tap him on the shoulder, when he turns around get your friend to say " hi have you met ( your name)
haha, "we"!
maybe _ is nervous because she was channeling the boards while on her date.