Thanks to all and an update on my wife

dimitrispearljam

mfc2006 wrote:

F Me In The Brain wrote:

Best wishes for your family leading up to, and on, the 6th!

Same here!

paysonites

Evening everybody,

Well, I had a very bad day today. My main client of eight years who pays our bills just fired me today. It's a
Care Center in our town. I kept telling them that there was a problem with an area that I was unable to fix due to numerous problems. The entire premises has over 600 shrubs, 8 large lawns etc. the property is 95% perfect. Due to them not calling out a company like they have in the past. Corporate came out yesterday and wrote the new Director up for one lawn that had not greened up yet. I pleaded and explained that I've notified the maintenance team of this but no luck.

Shawna has gone down hill. She is in a wheel chair 90% of the time. Up all night with horrible pain. The last four day's she has been vomiting due to pain levels. With no friends or family around or anyone to count on the only person I can blame is myself. My 15 hour days were not enough. It really hurts to know how much I have let my family down.

I tried...I mean doing all the cooking, cleaning, care giving, plus working 10+ hours a day with the business. We still have a few clients but not enough to make ends meet. I believe everything happens for a reason but nothing makes sense. I am not a lazy person. I work everyday from early morning until 11:30pm.

I just don't understand why all of our prayers were not enough. Damn I guess I had to unload somewhere. Best wishes to you all. I just can't figure it out. This place that I worked at looks immaculate accept for one lawn.

Please keep us in your thoughts, Shawna's surgery is around the corner. Her and I are fine and the kids are okay. I need to not slip into depression here. Please know how thankful we are of you all. Life will get figured out. One way or another. Please know that I have given everything my all here and have made what I thought were good choices. I will probably regret writing this. I've just lost a lot of strength today. Sorry to those who were rooting for me.

John

StillHere

John don't ever say that you've let your family down. You all have been through so much, and you have done so much for Shawna and your family. Its got to be unbelievably hard when there is no one around to share the burden. Please, try to keep your head above water emotionally, though i realize that is a huge task, its the best gift that you can give to your family, and to yourself.

I too believe that everything happens for a reason. The reasons may not be evident now, and it all may seem meaningless, but I do believe that one day you will look back and appreciate all that you have been through as a gateway to something much better.

HUGS!!!

paysonites

StillHere wrote:

John don't ever say that you've let your family down. You all have been through so much, and you have done so much for Shawna and your family. Its got to be unbelievably hard when there is no one around to share the burden. Please, try to keep your head above water emotionally, though i realize that is a huge task, its the best gift that you can give to your family, and to yourself.

I too believe that everything happens for a reason. The reasons may not be evident now, and it all may seem meaningless, but I do believe that one day you will look back and appreciate all that you have been through as a gateway to something much better.

HUGS!!!

Thank you your kind words mean they mean a lot. I just wish that things would of not taken this turn. Even through this past year with all of the surgeries and hard times. I have still made time to help people in need. I did free yard work for four different churches, a shelter, food bank etc. I'm just hoping that we'll be okay. I just don't understand how people can be so heartless. Especially at a Care Center. Tomorrow will be another day and all of the goodness that comes from you and all of the other wonderful people on this forum is what I hold very close to my heart.

I really appreciate everything...I seriously could not of made it through without the love and support of you and these wonderful people. Again, I'm sorry for where things are at. I miss all of you so much including you Jo. Without having anybody directly around it's been hard but it would of been a lot worse without you good people. We love you guys.

John

mfc2006

John & Shawna,

I know it's tough right now....just know that you have a lot of people behind you. If you guys need anything, please let us know. I sincerely hope things turn around soon for you both. You are both stronger than you realize & your strength is truly inspiring.

Matt

edved84

I will certainly be thinking of you. Stay Strong

SD48277

John & Shawna--

I'm sorry to hear things have taken a down turn, but hang in there and stay strong...this is just a blip in the big picture. And please don't apologize or feel bad about coming here to vent...it's good to get things out and there are plenty of sympathetic ears here. Things will get better. They have to. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Susan

dimitrispearljam

stay stronge...i know you are the one need to do all....
but...but....never let go the faith and trying for the people you love..
as we here,love you guys and will have you always in our thoughts and prays...
you are a fuckin great inspiration of what Love means...

All will be ok...Hugs to you two all the way from Greece

betterday52

Stupid advice, but when one door closes, another one opens. A better job is around the corner? Rely on the people you have helped. Karma comes around in strange packages. And please at all costs, when you're down, do vent HERE!

We've all been thru hardships. the worst thing you could do is to keep it in. Believe me, i did that. nearly wound up on the 8th floor.

Consider this thread your free therapy :-)

Drop Love, Not Bombs

Peace to you and your family

Shannon

he.who.forgets

Stay positive, John, as hard as that may be to do. You have certainly not let anyone down, you are doing so much for your family. We're all sending our most positive vibes/prayers your way. Please let us know if there's anything we can do. Much love to the family.
-Jamie

paysonites

You all are such an amazing Jamily.
No matter how hard this continues to get
I always know that I can come on here and get my spirit lifted and strength renewed.
Thank you so much for being the good hearted people that you are.

You have no idea how much you all mean to us.
We are so fortunate to have such positive, supportive and inspiring people to talk to.


Thanks to all... I am going to do my best to get on here really soon for a better update. My worker who I had to let go's mother almost committed suicide. Then a week later I ran into him and he was going to a place to do the same. Everything has hit us at once. I do hope that you good people could do me one last favor and lend me your ears. By the way our friends are safe. Please...Please...Send us some of your good vibes and those who are religious some prayer. This seems to be the home stretch....

Humbled,
John....

red mos

will do bud! keeping you and your family/ friends in thoughts and prayers.

paysonites

It has been a very hard day today. Your thoughts and good wishes are kept close to my heart and deeper in my soul. Please...Please....know that I haven't stopped thinking of you guy's for one day through this entire year.
I can't even count how many times you have saved me and my family from total disaster through which is now been well over a year.

Thank you,

John, Shawna and our boy's

Peace and Love to you all.

mfc2006

Thoughts, vibes & prayers continue to be with you guys! Keep fighting!

Carey

I am thinking of you both John and Shawna. You deserve a break from the neverending curveballs that life seems to be throwing you. Hang in there!

ItIsAllAboutPJ

John,
I can't imagine what is wrong with the people who let your company go. It seems like the most cruel way to deal with something that is probably a miscommunication.
There is no way to make the feelings you have go away but you have to believe that something better will come along to fill the gap.
I am praying for you and your employees that your kind deeds will come back to you as they should.

I hope once Shanna's surgery on the 6th is done and she is out of pain you can get your mind back in the game and have positive thoughts to move forward and regain a sense of control in your life.

My best to you,
XO K.

paysonites

Your kindness is overwhelming. I can't tell you how much we appreciate you guy's. Things are going to get a lot rougher here before getting any better.That's for sure but your posts have completely overwhelmed us with joy.

Thank you for that....

We are just so amazed and tearful of the devotion and dedication
you all have done with not forgetting us and sticking by our side.
You are all our guiding light, hope and strength.

John,Shawna and our little ones..

dimitrispearljam

John,give a kiss and a hug to those little ones

Jeremys Spoken

This is my first post in this thread, but I have followed along the whole time.


I hope everything turns out well for you and your wife, and the entire family. You have been through a lot so far, don't give up hope now.

Not to be cheesy, but it's always darkest before the dawn. IT WILL NOT BE THIS HARD FOREVER. Be as positive as you can be, continue to fight along with your wife. We are here for you, day in and day out.

dimitrispearljam

senting positive vides..all will be ok..