What if the Pilgrims brought over donkeys instead of turkeys ...
we'd all be eating a little ass today
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Pandora, have you been having a few too many drinks today?
Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!" The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!" The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece.
The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house. The Spaniard said; “You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a four-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built”.
The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek Mayor’s house, gold taps, marble floors, it was marvellous. When he asked how this could be afforded the Greek said; “You see that bridge over there?”
what Greeks say a quarter to 12..the Germans say it a quarter after 12..
"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
Got this from my Wisconsin buddy
His name was Ole, he was from ''Visconson'' ... And he wanted a loan. So... He walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer. He told the loan officer that he was taking Lena to Paris for their honeymoon and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so Ole handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.
Ole produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the backwoods sounding good ole boy from WI for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, Ole returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumni from The University of Wisconsin, a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Keep an eye on these WIsconsin folks!
Just because we talk funny doesn't mean we're stupid.
Got this from my Wisconsin buddy
His name was Ole, he was from ''Visconson'' ... And he wanted a loan. So... He walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer. He told the loan officer that he was taking Lena to Paris for their honeymoon and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so Ole handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.
Ole produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the backwoods sounding good ole boy from WI for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, Ole returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumni from The University of Wisconsin, a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Keep an eye on these WIsconsin folks!
Just because we talk funny doesn't mean we're stupid.
if you think fetuses have souls, imagine would heaven would be like. you'd be tip toe-ing around, trying not to step on them. if you did, it would be like bubble gum stuck to your shoes.
Michael Scott: A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night, and he gets crabs. So the next day he goes back to complain and the woman says, 'Hey, it was only $5, what did you expect... lobster?'
Michael Scott: A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night, and he gets crabs. So the next day he goes back to complain and the woman says, 'Hey, it was only $5, what did you expect... lobster?'
Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
If sex between 2 people is a twosome
and sex between 3 people is called a threesome
now I know why everyone calls me handsome
"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
if you think fetuses have souls, imagine would heaven would be like. you'd be tip toe-ing around, trying not to step on them. if you did, it would be like bubble gum stuck to your shoes.
Nashville-00
Nashville-03
Chicago-07
E.V. Milwaukee-08
Chicago 1 & 2-09
Alpine Valley 1 & 2-11
Wrigley-13
St. Paul-14
Milwaukee-14 Denver-22 St. Paul 1 & 2 - 23
A Native American family were all gathered around a fire outside their teepee one evening when the youngest son begins asking how everyone got their names. The father, Clapping Thunder, began explaining. Well son, the day I was born there was a terrible storm. Rain poured from the heavens, lightning struck all across the prairy, and there was the loudest thunder anyone had ever heard, so my parents named be Clapping Thunder. Your grandmother actually gave birth to your mother right there down by the river, hence her name, Rushing Water. Curiously, the youngest boy replies, "Well, how did I get my name?". Wondering why all of the sudden the boy was being so inquisitive, the father asks, "Well why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"
A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig. When he approached the pig farmer, he asked for a 25-pound pig. The pig farmer put the pig's tail in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down. He then told the city slicker that the pig was too heavy -- it was 30 pounds. The city slicker told the farmer he didn't believe that was the way to weigh pigs. The farmer called his son over and asked him to weigh the pig. The son put the pig's tail in his mouth, bobbed his head a couple of times and said the pig weighed 30 pounds. The city slicker said the farmer and his son were putting him on. The farmer told his son to go get his mother and have her come out and weigh the pig. The son went into the house and after a few minutes came out again.
"Mom's weighing the mailman."
Take me piece by piece..... Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig. When he approached the pig farmer, he asked for a 25-pound pig. The pig farmer put the pig's tail in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down. He then told the city slicker that the pig was too heavy -- it was 30 pounds. The city slicker told the farmer he didn't believe that was the way to weigh pigs. The farmer called his son over and asked him to weigh the pig. The son put the pig's tail in his mouth, bobbed his head a couple of times and said the pig weighed 30 pounds. The city slicker said the farmer and his son were putting him on. The farmer told his son to go get his mother and have her come out and weigh the pig. The son went into the house and after a few minutes came out again.
A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig. When he approached the pig farmer, he asked for a 25-pound pig. The pig farmer put the pig's tail in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down. He then told the city slicker that the pig was too heavy -- it was 30 pounds. The city slicker told the farmer he didn't believe that was the way to weigh pigs. The farmer called his son over and asked him to weigh the pig. The son put the pig's tail in his mouth, bobbed his head a couple of times and said the pig weighed 30 pounds. The city slicker said the farmer and his son were putting him on. The farmer told his son to go get his mother and have her come out and weigh the pig. The son went into the house and after a few minutes came out again.
"Mom's weighing the mailman."
Take me piece by piece..... Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc after several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but not wanting to display his ignorance he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up & gives this some thought, he comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and then goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes & looks out at the pigs seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives themout to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drives them out to the woods. He spends all day screwing the pigs and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud. 'No,' she says, 'they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.
Take me piece by piece..... Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Comments
we'd all be eating a little ass today
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
we did polish off 3 bottles of champagne
I may or may not use that line someday. :think:
The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house. The Spaniard said; “You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a four-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built”.
The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek Mayor’s house, gold taps, marble floors, it was marvellous. When he asked how this could be afforded the Greek said; “You see that bridge over there?”
The Spaniard replied; “No.”
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
Is there a punchline in there somewhere?
His name was Ole, he was from ''Visconson'' ... And he wanted a loan. So... He walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer. He told the loan officer that he was taking Lena to Paris for their honeymoon and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so Ole handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.
Ole produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the backwoods sounding good ole boy from WI for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, Ole returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumni from The University of Wisconsin, a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Keep an eye on these WIsconsin folks!
Just because we talk funny doesn't mean we're stupid.
"Not only does my son have a stupid name, but he's also a shit driver".
He asked me to describe the symptoms.
I said "Homer is a big fat yellow man and Marge has blue hair".
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
that's messed up man.
"What would you say is your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty".
"I don't think honesty is a weakness".
"I don't give a fuck what you think".
and sex between 3 people is called a threesome
now I know why everyone calls me handsome
DEGENERATE FUK
This place is dead
"THERE ARE NO CLIQUES, ONLY THOSE WHO DON'T JOIN THE FUN" - Empty circa 2015
"Kfsbho&$thncds" - F Me In the Brain - circa 2015
pretty good
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
doctor
10-05-04 09-09-05
05-16-06-5-17-06-5-19-06,06-26-06-06-27-06 05-03-10 09-04-11
07/19/13 11-15-13
Nashville-03
Chicago-07
E.V. Milwaukee-08
Chicago 1 & 2-09
Alpine Valley 1 & 2-11
Wrigley-13
St. Paul-14
Milwaukee-14
Denver-22
St. Paul 1 & 2 - 23
A Native American family were all gathered around a fire outside their teepee one evening when the youngest son begins asking how everyone got their names. The father, Clapping Thunder, began explaining. Well son, the day I was born there was a terrible storm. Rain poured from the heavens, lightning struck all across the prairy, and there was the loudest thunder anyone had ever heard, so my parents named be Clapping Thunder. Your grandmother actually gave birth to your mother right there down by the river, hence her name, Rushing Water. Curiously, the youngest boy replies, "Well, how did I get my name?". Wondering why all of the sudden the boy was being so inquisitive, the father asks, "Well why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"
"Mom's weighing the mailman."
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....