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*** Jokes of the Day!! ***

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  • LizardLizard Posts: 12,091
    Did you hear about the fire at the circus?









    It was intense.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • davidtriosdavidtrios Posts: 9,732
    Terminator 1: "I'll be back!"
    Terminator 2: "I'll be back!"
    Terminator 5: "Ow! My back!" -
    (John Mulroy)
  • davidtriosdavidtrios Posts: 9,732
    besides dentists, which other professions get paid for fillings?
    hookers!
  • davidtriosdavidtrios Posts: 9,732
    Jared's career stopped how it started......trying to get into smaller pants.
  • northerndragonnortherndragon Posts: 9,851
    edited August 2015
    davidtrios said:

    Jared's career stopped how it started......trying to get into smaller pants.

    Someone has been on Reddit...
    Post edited by northerndragon on
    Anything you lose from being honest
    You never really had to begin with.


    Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 41,772
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vJszDOVYCw
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • MalrothMalroth Posts: 2,515
    The wife and I decided to pick one person whom if decided to have sex with us, it wouldn't be cheating. My wife picked Keanu Reaves, I chose the girl at the mini mart down the street.
    The worst of times..they don't phase me,
    even if I look and act really crazy.
  • whispering handswhispering hands Posts: 13,527
    Malroth said:

    The wife and I decided to pick one person whom if decided to have sex with us, it wouldn't be cheating. My wife picked Keanu Reaves, I chose the girl at the mini mart down the street.

    Ah... That age old stupid exceptions theory.. Didn't you ever see that movie Indecent Proposal??? So true to life..cause once you stray it's hard to stay.. I say share each other's fantasies.. But never walk away from the beauty of what you already have in your wife.. Just my view on the 'exceptions' subject..
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 41,772
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ8-gvm0ANI
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • MalrothMalroth Posts: 2,515
    whispering hands said:

    Malroth said:

    The wife and I decided to pick one person whom if decided to have sex with us, it wouldn't be cheating. My wife picked Keanu Reaves, I chose the girl at the mini mart down the street.

    Ah... That age old stupid exceptions theory.. Didn't you ever see that movie Indecent Proposal??? So true to life..cause once you stray it's hard to stay.. I say share each other's fantasies.. But never walk away from the beauty of what you already have in your wife.. Just my view on the 'exceptions' subject..
    Just a joke I heard larry the cable guy do.

    Men fantasize more, women fantasize bigger. (based on a chris rock joke)

    ....but yes, the hall pass from marriage isn't a good idea, or a good movie.
    The worst of times..they don't phase me,
    even if I look and act really crazy.
  • whispering handswhispering hands Posts: 13,527
    Yeah I realized it was a joke after I posted.. I'm kind of a dork like that..
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 41,772
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ce9f5Xj35zY
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 41,772
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8oX_pd2zM8
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 41,772
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs8lnNUlSVc
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • JWPearlJWPearl Posts: 19,893
    whispering hands said:

    Yeah I realized it was a joke after I posted.. I'm kind of a dork like that..

    cute..lol
    your not alone
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,418
    How do you keep a group of jackasses in suspense?































    Ill tell you tomorrow.
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 41,772
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dst_ra-AgH0
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 41,772
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4v66AhZJa0
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • davidtriosdavidtrios Posts: 9,732
    why did the turtle cross the road?
    to get to the shell station.
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