Today, I almost

Lauri

eyedclaar wrote:

You are lucky that you don't know how to ride a bike. Ever since the day I learned how, my life has become insanely complicated. I mean, you need maps, schedules, a coordinated, strategic mindset for even getting around the block, AND a sense of balance. It's all a little much frankly.

hey WTF. I try to explain something to and I just get made of in two-way conversations, that's not fair. Forget I even said anything, I guess the people on this board are too immature to have any sort of meaningful conversation. Riding a bike seriously IS complicated but I guess you wouldn't know that if you never tried. Good lord I'm always reminded of why I go months at a time without visiting here. You can't get a serious response from anyone.

decides2dream

Lauri wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

....figure out ways to do such things. also realize, most people aren't out doing things/having a crazy-ass time EVERY weekend.

I try, I try really hard, but without fail, it's friday night, and I haven't come up with anything.

I realize people aren't out having fun every weekend, but I have NO fun EVER pretty much. I'm either at work/gym or sitting on my couch with my mind racing. And as I said, I TRY to go out and hang out in my neighborhood, but I get bored just wandering around. Even when I make myself go out to eat or something, I always leave as soon as I'm finished eating, it goes by really fast.

i honestly just don't know what to say that. truly.
and i do not mean this in a condescending or dismissive way at all - but damn, i feel for you. i do. idk how i would manage enjoying life at all if i thought like that. i just don't know how it's even possible to never have fun. hell, i imagine even the prisoners in auschwitz managed to laugh now and again, just to cope with their situation. i cannot imagine having a regular, pretty blessed life....and not ENJOY it most of the time.


i truly wish you luck.







and chica....... you kill me!


lauri - don't take it so personally, it's called....having FUN!



and idk, my husband is a pretty serious mountain biker. he and his friends simply have a standing date every sunday morning. texts are sent saturday to verify who's coming and when. then they all show up at a certain time/place, bikes in tow....get on said bikes...hit the trail, ride.....and then all go home. no maps involved, no mega planning. and no they are not all at the same fitness level, not even close. however, they have all collectively decided that making riding together a priority was more important than their individual fitness goals. it's all about choices....and making them.

eyedclaar

Lauri wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

You are lucky that you don't know how to ride a bike. Ever since the day I learned how, my life has become insanely complicated. I mean, you need maps, schedules, a coordinated, strategic mindset for even getting around the block, AND a sense of balance. It's all a little much frankly.

hey WTF. I try to explain something to and I just get made of in two-way conversations, that's not fair. Forget I even said anything, I guess the people on this board are too immature to have any sort of meaningful conversation. Riding a bike seriously IS complicated but I guess you wouldn't know that if you never tried.

Hey now, I can't speak for everyone... HOWEVER, I am extremely immature.

Lauri

decides2dream wrote:

Lauri wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

....figure out ways to do such things. also realize, most people aren't out doing things/having a crazy-ass time EVERY weekend.

I try, I try really hard, but without fail, it's friday night, and I haven't come up with anything.

I realize people aren't out having fun every weekend, but I have NO fun EVER pretty much. I'm either at work/gym or sitting on my couch with my mind racing. And as I said, I TRY to go out and hang out in my neighborhood, but I get bored just wandering around. Even when I make myself go out to eat or something, I always leave as soon as I'm finished eating, it goes by really fast.

i honestly just don't know what to say that. truly.
and i do not mean this in a condescending or dismissive way at all - but damn, i feel for you. i do. idk how i would manage enjoying life at all if i thought like that. i just don't know how it's even possible to never have fun. hell, i imagine even the prisoners in auschwitz managed to laugh now and again, just to cope with their situation. i cannot imagine having a regular, pretty blessed life....and not ENJOY it most of the time.


i truly wish you luck.







and chica....... you kill me!

well I enjoy moments with other people when I'm work or on the rare occasion I see friends, I just don't have any fun on my own free time. If in the rare event I have something to do I usually enjoy it, I usually enjoy pretty much anything I do. But I don't see how it's possible to have actual fun sitting around watching TV or working. I mean I don't have any fun activities to look forward to. When I come into work on friday morning and everyone's like, "thank god it's friday" I'm like "eh" cuz I don't have anything to look forward to.

decides2dream wrote:

and idk, my husband is a pretty serious mountain biker. he and his friends simply have a standing date every sunday morning. texts are sent saturday to verify who's coming and when. then they all show up at a certain time/place, bikes in tow....get on said bikes...hit the trail, ride.....and then all go home. no maps involved, no mega planning. and no they are not all at the same fitness level, not even close. however, they have all collectively decided that making riding together a priority was more important than their individual fitness goals. it's all about choices....and making them.

yeah because they are all FRIENDS riding together. I used to do that to when I lived near friends. But I have to ride with an organized group, and in that case, yes you do have to have the appropriate skill level, fitness level, and take responsibility for being prepared. For example, if I'm out riding with a group of strangers, I have to know that I'm not going to hold anyone back and that I can take of any issues that might arise like getting lost or getting a flat. Joining an organized group is a lot different than riding for fun with friends. I used to go out with friends who were way slower than me, but it was ok because I knew I could go faster and they'd catch up and not take it personally. If you ride with a slower organized group, you have to stay behind the leader in the pace he sets for the ride, so it's quite a different atmosphere.

decides2dream

Lauri wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

Lauri wrote:

I try, I try really hard, but without fail, it's friday night, and I haven't come up with anything.

I realize people aren't out having fun every weekend, but I have NO fun EVER pretty much. I'm either at work/gym or sitting on my couch with my mind racing. And as I said, I TRY to go out and hang out in my neighborhood, but I get bored just wandering around. Even when I make myself go out to eat or something, I always leave as soon as I'm finished eating, it goes by really fast.

i honestly just don't know what to say that. truly.
and i do not mean this in a condescending or dismissive way at all - but damn, i feel for you. i do. idk how i would manage enjoying life at all if i thought like that. i just don't know how it's even possible to never have fun. hell, i imagine even the prisoners in auschwitz managed to laugh now and again, just to cope with their situation. i cannot imagine having a regular, pretty blessed life....and not ENJOY it most of the time.


i truly wish you luck.







and chica....... you kill me!

well I enjoy moments with other people when I'm work or on the rare occasion I see friends, I just don't have any fun on my own free time. If in the rare event I have something to do I usually enjoy it, I usually enjoy pretty much anything I do. But I don't see how it's possible to have actual fun sitting around watching TV or working. I mean I don't have any fun activities to look forward to. When I come into work on friday morning and everyone's like, "thank god it's friday" I'm like "eh" cuz I don't have anything to look forward to.

bottom-line, that's your CHOICE, not an absolute.
you have myriad reasons why you can't have fun. why not invest all the energy you put into thinking up reasons why you can't...into why you CAN? happiness IS a choice....and having fun can be done in oh so many ways. you are a very intelligent woman, you should be able to figure out how to have fun. honestly, it's not nearly as difficult as you choose to make it.

Lauri

decides2dream wrote:

why not invest all the energy you put into thinking up reasons why you can't...into why you CAN?

what do you think I spend ever minute I can thinking about? I am afraid of weekends at this point, I just don't want them to come. I try to write lists of things I can do on the weekends, but I can't get them to work out right or I can't come up with the money...but the lists themselves are really short. I can't think of things to do. Not stuff that a person can just go out and do with no training or money or anything anyway.

decides2dream

Lauri wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

why not invest all the energy you put into thinking up reasons why you can't...into why you CAN?

what do you think I spend ever minute I can thinking about? I am afraid of weekends at this point, I just don't want them to come. I try to write lists of things I can do on the weekends, but I can't get them to work out right or I can't come up with the money...but the lists themselves are really short. I can't think of things to do. Not stuff that a person can just go out and do with no training or money or anything anyway.

well then, i think you should merely accept reality then. apparently it is totally impossible for you to have fun on weekends. ever. so you should simply resign yourself to a lifetime of unhappiness and misery. perhaps if you get in that mindset, you might actually, inadvertently, fall on top of an idea of how to have fun! or hell, at least find some contentment/peace. i mean shit, if i were 'panicked' about weekends, if i thought obsessively over them, well...that would be exhausting!

idk why i participate.
what's the saying?
insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. i don't think i REALLY expected different results, but i do always hope. i'm a dreamer afterall....;)
seriously, i truly wish you could find a way to make yourself happy. you CAN, but you just.....don't. there is absolutely nothing else i or anyone can say. it's like any other life problem. one has to choose to see the issue and correct it, or nothing will change.
good luck.

norm

Lauri wrote:

hey WTF. I try to explain something to and I just get made of in two-way conversations, that's not fair. Forget I even said anything, I guess the people on this board are too immature to have any sort of meaningful conversation. Riding a bike seriously IS complicated but I guess you wouldn't know that if you never tried. Good lord I'm always reminded of why I go months at a time without visiting here. You can't get a serious response from anyone.

you asked

Lauri wrote:

what do other people do when they're not working?

and practically everyone here has tried to help with suggestions and you've rejected them in total...you have an excuse for everything...seriously, i never knew a fucking bike ride is like launching the space shuttle

people are trying to help but it doesn't sound like you want help but sympathy...and if that's the case, well i'm sorry you're bored...i'm sure it frustrating to find no joy in your non-work life...maybe some therapy would help

Lauri

norm wrote:

Lauri wrote:

hey WTF. I try to explain something to and I just get made of in two-way conversations, that's not fair. Forget I even said anything, I guess the people on this board are too immature to have any sort of meaningful conversation. Riding a bike seriously IS complicated but I guess you wouldn't know that if you never tried. Good lord I'm always reminded of why I go months at a time without visiting here. You can't get a serious response from anyone.

you asked

Lauri wrote:

what do other people do when they're not working?

and practically everyone here has tried to help with suggestions and you've rejected them in total...you have an excuse for everything...seriously, i never knew a fucking bike ride is like launching the space shuttle

people are trying to help but it doesn't sound like you want help but sympathy...and if that's the case, well i'm sorry you're bored...i'm sure it frustrating to find no joy in your non-work life...maybe some therapy would help

I only "rejected" people because they weren't taking the issue seriously. I mean that one person told me to organize my closet? Seriously, I'm supposed to think s/he was being sincere there? Right from the beginning people were bs'ing me. No one said, "I had the same problem and this is what I did" no one gave me real suggestions like organizations that do fun things. Ok I take that back, one or two people said volunteer, but when I said that wasn't what I was looking for, everyone got all huffy about it. I don't get it, all I said was I wasn't looking for volunteer work. Almost all of what people have said is just insulting, saying I feel this way because I'm selfish and trying to relive my 20s, and laughing and saying it's not really problem. Well, it is a problem for me, and I'm not saying it's the end of the world but I thought I could have a useful discussion about it, and I was wrong.

And I can't help it if you don't understand, but going for a proper bike ride does take a lot of preparation. There are issues involving safety, navigation, equipment, and group schedules to think about in advance. I like how you think that's funny even though I'm person that knows about it and you're not. Like anything else, you can sort of do something, but there's doing something and doing it right. If I want to ride long distances and accomplish my personal goals when it comes to biking, then yes, it is important to do it properly.

norm

Lauri wrote:

I only "rejected" people because they weren't taking the issue seriously. I mean that one person told me to organize my closet? Seriously, I'm supposed to think s/he was being sincere there? Right from the beginning people were bs'ing me. No one said, "I had the same problem and this is what I did" no one gave me real suggestions like organizations that do fun things. Ok I take that back, one or two people said volunteer, but when I said that wasn't what I was looking for, everyone got all huffy about it. I don't get it, all I said was I wasn't looking for volunteer work. Almost all of what people have said is just insulting, saying I feel this way because I'm selfish and trying to relive my 20s, and laughing and saying it's not really problem. Well, it is a problem for me, and I'm not saying it's the end of the world but I thought I could have a useful discussion about it, and I was wrong.

everyone is different...to some people, organizing their closet is fulfilling...if it isn't for you simply say thank for the advice and move on

you really have to understand that most people don't have this problem and in fact find it unbelievable that you can't find fulfillment in your down time...once you realize this, try to point us into ways we can help

if you mentioned it early on, i probably missed it, but i don't remember you asking for organizations that do fun things...however, that is a very broad subject...gives us some clues as to what you find fun (and if you have, once again sorry)

to quote jerry macguire "help us help you"

decides2dream

norm wrote:

Lauri wrote:

I only "rejected" people because they weren't taking the issue seriously. I mean that one person told me to organize my closet? Seriously, I'm supposed to think s/he was being sincere there? Right from the beginning people were bs'ing me. No one said, "I had the same problem and this is what I did" no one gave me real suggestions like organizations that do fun things. Ok I take that back, one or two people said volunteer, but when I said that wasn't what I was looking for, everyone got all huffy about it. I don't get it, all I said was I wasn't looking for volunteer work. Almost all of what people have said is just insulting, saying I feel this way because I'm selfish and trying to relive my 20s, and laughing and saying it's not really problem. Well, it is a problem for me, and I'm not saying it's the end of the world but I thought I could have a useful discussion about it, and I was wrong.

everyone is different...to some people, organizing their closet is fulfilling...if it isn't for you simply say thank for the advice and move on

you really have to understand that most people don't have this problem and in fact find it unbelievable that you can't find fulfillment in your down time...once you realize this, try to point us into ways we can help

if you mentioned it early on, i probably missed it, but i don't remember you asking for organizations that do fun things...however, that is a very broad subject...gives us some clues as to what you find fun (and if you have, once again sorry)

to quote jerry macguire "help us help you"

there it is!

i also think it's helpful to think of things in the past, when you DID have fun.
what were you doing?
who were you with?
how can you replicate such experiences?
then.....try and do it!
you may or may not have success, but it's way better than just worrying about it and being unhappy. at least i would think so. and, maybe...just try something completely random. i think it's even easier in bigger cities, there's always corkboards in coffee houses filled with stuff, usually free newspapers with plenty of activities listed, many free....and that's just to start. once you get going, who knows?

eyedclaar

I think you might need some kind of near-death experience to get you appreciating life again. We should go hiking sometime... Trust me, there are scarier things out there than weekends...

norm

eyedclaar wrote:

I think you might need some kind of near-death experience to get you appreciating life again. We should go hiking sometime... Trust me, there are scarier things out there than weekends...

mountain goats for one

eyedclaar

norm wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

I think you might need some kind of near-death experience to get you appreciating life again. We should go hiking sometime... Trust me, there are scarier things out there than weekends...

mountain goats for one

On week days, they are almost tolerable, but Friday afternoon rolls around and they get off work... oh man.

eyedclaar

norm wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

I think you might need some kind of near-death experience to get you appreciating life again. We should go hiking sometime... Trust me, there are scarier things out there than weekends...

mountain goats for one

Oh, and I was recently almost torn limb from limb by a river otter. It floated into the eddy next to the bank I was sitting on and proceeded to swim around acting all cute, no doubt trying to lure one of us into the water. Good thing I'm an expert on wildlife.

norm

eyedclaar wrote:

norm wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

I think you might need some kind of near-death experience to get you appreciating life again. We should go hiking sometime... Trust me, there are scarier things out there than weekends...

mountain goats for one

Oh, and I was recently almost torn limb from limb by a river otter. It floated into the eddy next to the bank I was sitting on and proceeded to swim around acting all cute, no doubt trying to lure one of us into the water. Good thing I'm an expert on wildlife.

i remember seeing a river otter in one of those 'faces of death' videos...stay far away from those

Lauri

decides2dream wrote:

there it is!

i also think it's helpful to think of things in the past, when you DID have fun.
what were you doing?
who were you with?
how can you replicate such experiences?
then.....try and do it!
you may or may not have success, but it's way better than just worrying about it and being unhappy. at least i would think so. and, maybe...just try something completely random. i think it's even easier in bigger cities, there's always corkboards in coffee houses filled with stuff, usually free newspapers with plenty of activities listed, many free....and that's just to start. once you get going, who knows?

Well live shows are usually fun, but not really an option during the day. Can't always find someone good playing or have the money either, so that's not really an every week option.

trips to new places are fun. they are more fun if friends are there or there is something to take pictures of. I'd really like to take a trip, but that's truly impossible, I have two weddings later in the year.

I used to have fun just hanging out with my friends- like going for a bike ride and then coming back and grilling or drinking or something.

I have fun hanging out at bars because I like to be in the "action" but I never last long if I'm by myself.

I used to like going to the beach a lot, but I don't know if I like that anymore, I haven't gone in years- I can never get my act together early enough to get parking. it's also weather-dependent, so I can't try that for another few months.

I like going to the movies, but only when I really want to see something.

I like parties of different types if I know a lot of people. In the past few years I've tried to host a few, but then I realize: I don't know enough people to have a party!

Bike riding is fun, but it can also be really stressful. The past few months I have been working hard to try to de-stress it. I can't ride alone, so I need to find a good organized group.

I would like to have something outside to do on saturday or sunday mornings that also involves fitness if possible.

I used to really like hiking, but I don't know it hasn't appealed to me as much anymore. And I never have fun when I go with those organized hiking groups of mostly old people...I guess with hiking it often comes down to the company. I guess in general I don't have as much fun doing things with organized groups, but unless you want to sit around all day, there aren't a lot of other options.

It's hard sitting here trying to think of when I've had fun in the past because it's mostly with friends and stuff. haha I'm actually kind of crying thinking about it because I really miss everyone. I have had fun on my own a lot, but all that stuff is what I'm getting bored with: walking around, having lunch/dinner/coffee/ice cream, going to the movies. I wouldn't really call a lot of that "fun" anyway, more just...pleasant. When I think of fun I think of laughing mostly. I can't really think of anything else...

I don't really know how to replicate any of those things now that I think about it that way.

Lauri

norm wrote:

Lauri wrote:

I only "rejected" people because they weren't taking the issue seriously. I mean that one person told me to organize my closet? Seriously, I'm supposed to think s/he was being sincere there? Right from the beginning people were bs'ing me. No one said, "I had the same problem and this is what I did" no one gave me real suggestions like organizations that do fun things. Ok I take that back, one or two people said volunteer, but when I said that wasn't what I was looking for, everyone got all huffy about it. I don't get it, all I said was I wasn't looking for volunteer work. Almost all of what people have said is just insulting, saying I feel this way because I'm selfish and trying to relive my 20s, and laughing and saying it's not really problem. Well, it is a problem for me, and I'm not saying it's the end of the world but I thought I could have a useful discussion about it, and I was wrong.

everyone is different...to some people, organizing their closet is fulfilling...if it isn't for you simply say thank for the advice and move on

you really have to understand that most people don't have this problem and in fact find it unbelievable that you can't find fulfillment in your down time...once you realize this, try to point us into ways we can help

if you mentioned it early on, i probably missed it, but i don't remember you asking for organizations that do fun things...however, that is a very broad subject...gives us some clues as to what you find fun (and if you have, once again sorry)

to quote jerry macguire "help us help you"

I do find it hard to believe that no one else has this problem. No one else goes home on Friday night and wonders how they're going to spend the next two days??? I mean sure you could find chores to do I guess, but sometimes my house is already clean! I usually have to do some laundry or something, but I just do it Sunday night, it doesn't take very long. It seems like it would be common amongst anyone who doesn't have money to go away for the weekend.

I don't really know what I meant by organizations...I know other people who belong to...stuff...I guess. My friend in another city joined a very casual triathlon club, which I think would be good, but I can't find a casual one around here, only sponsored teams, and I'm really not on that level. My parents think I should play tennis, and I looked into it over the winter but 1) it's more expensive than I have and 2) I don't want to play an indoor sport in the summer (and yes I know you can play tennis outside, but all the organized lessons and clubs I've been able to find have been indoors...not saying they don't exist outdoors, I just haven't been able to locate one just by doing a web search).

chiquimonkey

You have really strict standards for what qualifies as "fun". If you aren't laughing like a maniac 24/7 then it's no good? Pleasant moments are good....hell that's all life is anyway. A string of moments really.

You've decided to be miserable. If you can't get your act together to plan shit or get over needing a group of people to provide a carnival of hilarity for you, guess what? It's not gonna get any better.

There are worse problems in the world than being tormented by having free time.

And no, I've NEVER known anybody with this problem. Then again I don't know people who have an excuse for everything?

pandora

Lauri, my post was very sincere. I was not belittling you, I sincerely feel by helping others you can find happiness and appreciate your own life more. The things you are doing for others are not fulfilling you, those that you mentioned, being there for family, lending or giving money to friends, helping kids find job placement. If they were working for you, you wouldn't feel this emptiness. You are calling it boredom and want to fill it with fun but really your heart needs to connect with something or someone passionately.
All I want to say is the quickest way to happiness is to do something nice for someone, happiness brings contentment and a sense of peace to your life.
Sit down make a list of the people you love, put an idea or two of down of something you could do for them, then do it on the weekends. Then expand it if need be to a local shelter, children's hospital, church, nursing home. As the weekends pass you will have a feeling of satisfaction and maybe even look forward to what the next will bring, maybe you will meet a new circle of friends or someone special to add to your life.
I truly hope you find what you need because I really do care.