Today, I almost

Lauri

chiquimonkey wrote:

Lauri wrote:

Look, all of this is just stuff to pass the time. Reading a book and rearranging your sock drawer is what you do when DON'T have plans. These things aren't fun, they're stuff you do when you're bored. I want to get OUT and meet people and go places and kick my ass physically. I can't clean my closet every weekend, I'm tired of listening to myself think! I want to get OUT!

Then get a map so you don't end up at a highway and GO OUT.

Life is short. Just go do it already. Like right now, seriously google maps is like 24 hours a day open lol

are you a long distance cyclist? It's very complicated, even dangerous at times. I am very bad at repairs at stuff and venturing into unknown suburbs and not knowing the terrain makes me very anxious, and doesn't seem especially responsible. I live in a very congested area, and it is DIFFICULT to find open road to bike on. You really have to know your way around, it's not just about google maps.

justam

Maybe you don't realize how negative you seem to people?! :shock:

We try to help you and then you just start attacking our suggestions. You don't really want help or suggestions. You just seem to want to revel in your excuses and your misery.

chiquimonkey

Lauri wrote:

chiquimonkey wrote:

Lauri wrote:

Look, all of this is just stuff to pass the time. Reading a book and rearranging your sock drawer is what you do when DON'T have plans. These things aren't fun, they're stuff you do when you're bored. I want to get OUT and meet people and go places and kick my ass physically. I can't clean my closet every weekend, I'm tired of listening to myself think! I want to get OUT!

Then get a map so you don't end up at a highway and GO OUT.

Life is short. Just go do it already. Like right now, seriously google maps is like 24 hours a day open lol

are you a long distance cyclist? It's very complicated, even dangerous at times. I am very bad at repairs at stuff and venturing into unknown suburbs and not knowing the terrain makes me very anxious, and doesn't seem especially responsible. I live in a very congested area, and it is DIFFICULT to find open road to bike on. You really have to know your way around, it's not just about google maps.

I don't know how to ride a bike, so hell no lol

Okay, so what was the excuse for not finding a local biking group or chapter then? I must have missed it?

Lauri

justam wrote:

Maybe you don't realize how negative you seem to people?! :shock:

I'm not a negative person. I'm actually overly optimistic, which gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes. I have learned to contain it a bit (for example having a very big scare on the road during an overly-ambitious bike ride). Even if I were, I don't see what that has to do with anything. I also don't think it's fair to judge a person like that based on a few written paragraphs about a particular problem they are having. You are making a lot of judgements regarding the "emptiness" thing and the "responsibility" thing...I actually have a LOT of responsibilities. I take care of myself and my entire life. I support myself, I organize my entire life myself, something goes wrong, I fix it myself. I meant to say it in the last post, but it is incorrect to suggest that single people without children don't have any responsibilities. We have a LOT of responsibilities.

chiquimonkey

Lauri wrote:

justam wrote:

Maybe you don't realize how negative you seem to people?! :shock:

I'm not a negative person. I'm actually overly optimistic, which gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes. I have learned to contain it a bit (for example having a very big scare on the road during an overly-ambitious bike ride). Even if I were, I don't see what that has to do with anything. I also don't think it's fair to judge a person like that based on a few written paragraphs about a particular problem they are having. You are making a lot of judgements regarding the "emptiness" thing and the "responsibility" thing...I actually have a LOT of responsibilities. I take care of myself and my entire life. I support myself, I organize my entire life myself, something goes wrong, I fix it myself. I meant to say it in the last post, but it is incorrect to suggest that single people without children don't have any responsibilities. We have a LOT of responsibilities.

As a single person I totally agree with you. I do just fine keeping myself busy without children. But from your posts, and previous incarnations, you *do* project negativity. You've managed to make an excuse and shoot down every possible suggestion, and even piss on your own suggestions!

Life really is short, the energy expended on being negative just wastes it all away. The thing you may need to focus on beyond any other hobby or whatever is working on your attitude. Just my 2cents anyway.

Best of luck to you

patrickredeyes

went for a bike ride but the rain stopped me.

Lauri

chiquimonkey wrote:

Okay, so what was the excuse for not finding a local biking group or chapter then? I must have missed it?

there's not an excuse, I've just gone on rides with a couple in the past couple months and they have not been right for me. It's like playing tennis- you have to find people on the same skill and fitness and interest level or it's just not going to go well. Sometimes it can be really difficult to find the right thing. I am in a weird place because I am interested in fitness but not racing, and there's not a lot of groups like that- most are either hard core racing teams or kind of casual tour type riding with usually older people. It's not fun when you're not with the right group.

chiquimonkey

Lauri wrote:

chiquimonkey wrote:

Okay, so what was the excuse for not finding a local biking group or chapter then? I must have missed it?

there's not an excuse, I've just gone on rides with a couple in the past couple months and they have not been right for me. It's like playing tennis- you have to find people on the same skill and fitness and interest level or it's just not going to go well. Sometimes it can be really difficult to find the right thing. I am in a weird place because I am interested in fitness but not racing, and there's not a lot of groups like that- most are either hard core racing teams or kind of casual tour type riding with usually older people. It's not fun when you're not with the right group.

Well spend the time on the weekend finding the right group

justam

Lauri wrote:

justam wrote:

Maybe you don't realize how negative you seem to people?! :shock:

I'm not a negative person. I'm actually overly optimistic, which gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes. I have learned to contain it a bit (for example having a very big scare on the road during an overly-ambitious bike ride). Even if I were, I don't see what that has to do with anything. I also don't think it's fair to judge a person like that based on a few written paragraphs about a particular problem they are having. You are making a lot of judgements regarding the "emptiness" thing and the "responsibility" thing...I actually have a LOT of responsibilities. I take care of myself and my entire life. I support myself, I organize my entire life myself, something goes wrong, I fix it myself. I meant to say it in the last post, but it is incorrect to suggest that single people without children don't have any responsibilities. We have a LOT of responsibilities.

Lauri, you are mixing up material responsibilities with EMOTIONAL responsibilities. They are different. What you seem to be craving is emotional connection. That is why you are bored. We can all fill up time but if we don't feel an inner connection or passionate interest in others, we will be bored.

My suggestions didn't really address this issue, instead I tried to suggest things on my list that might interest your mind or your emotions as an individual. However, honestly, if you can't get interested in things as an individual, you need more passion in your life.

And don't keep saying I'm condescending. I am just OLDER than you.

Given to...

Looks like it was already covered...

BIKING

I would give my left nut to have every weekend off to discover New England on a mountain bike. You are selling yourself short. If you have what it takes to get to where you are currently at, I know you have the goods to figure out the rest. You just need a kick in the ass to do it.

KICK'


Enjoy

Lauri

chiquimonkey wrote:

Lauri wrote:

chiquimonkey wrote:

Okay, so what was the excuse for not finding a local biking group or chapter then? I must have missed it?

there's not an excuse, I've just gone on rides with a couple in the past couple months and they have not been right for me. It's like playing tennis- you have to find people on the same skill and fitness and interest level or it's just not going to go well. Sometimes it can be really difficult to find the right thing. I am in a weird place because I am interested in fitness but not racing, and there's not a lot of groups like that- most are either hard core racing teams or kind of casual tour type riding with usually older people. It's not fun when you're not with the right group.

Well spend the time on the weekend finding the right group

hahah well I have been TRYING to, but you have to find a group having a ride that weekend, talk to the leader in advance...and there's only so many groups! The past few weekends I have not been able to organize anything. Actually last weekend I think it was, I had a ride set up, and the night before I realized I had a major equipment problem so I had to cancel. And when I went to the bike shop to have it fixed, they messed something else up!

And I'm sorry that I sound like I have a bad attitude, I'm just getting to my wit's end. I just want a group of friends around like I used to have that I can hang out with have plans with and go for bike rides with or whatever...I try very hard to make my own fun, but I'm just running out of stuff that excites me and not having any money doesn't really help matters.

chiquimonkey

Lauri wrote:

hahah well I have been TRYING to, but you have to find a group having a ride that weekend, talk to the leader in advance...and there's only so many groups! The past few weekends I have not been able to organize anything. Actually last weekend I think it was, I had a ride set up, and the night before I realized I had a major equipment problem so I had to cancel. And when I went to the bike shop to have it fixed, they messed something else up!

And I'm sorry that I sound like I have a bad attitude, I'm just getting to my wit's end. I just want a group of friends around like I used to have that I can hang out with have plans with and go for bike rides with or whatever...I try very hard to make my own fun, but I'm just running out of stuff that excites me and not having any money doesn't really help matters.

Well just because one weekend didn't work out, you don't give up. Tenacity is key, for anything! Keep trying, especially if that is something you feel passionate about.

Fuel your passions, always.

You don't have to apologize for your attitude, just know you need to recognize it and see what responses it garners. If it is getting this sort of reception on a tiny scale like a PJ board, imagine how it projects in the 'real' world?

I think you're looking for excitement and happiness from external sources, like other people. They can provide that, but if you aren't happy with yourself, it really isn't going to do the trick, you know? And money won't make you happy either.

Lauri

chiquimonkey wrote:

Lauri wrote:

hahah well I have been TRYING to, but you have to find a group having a ride that weekend, talk to the leader in advance...and there's only so many groups! The past few weekends I have not been able to organize anything. Actually last weekend I think it was, I had a ride set up, and the night before I realized I had a major equipment problem so I had to cancel. And when I went to the bike shop to have it fixed, they messed something else up!

And I'm sorry that I sound like I have a bad attitude, I'm just getting to my wit's end. I just want a group of friends around like I used to have that I can hang out with have plans with and go for bike rides with or whatever...I try very hard to make my own fun, but I'm just running out of stuff that excites me and not having any money doesn't really help matters.

Well just because one weekend didn't work out, you don't give up. Tenacity is key, for anything! Keep trying, especially if that is something you feel passionate about.

Fuel your passions, always.

You don't have to apologize for your attitude, just know you need to recognize it and see what responses it garners. If it is getting this sort of reception on a tiny scale like a PJ board, imagine how it projects in the 'real' world?

I think you're looking for excitement and happiness from external sources, like other people. They can provide that, but if you aren't happy with yourself, it really isn't going to do the trick, you know? And money won't make you happy either.

Well I really don't get upset about these things infront of other people. I usually keep my boredom and frustrations bottled up . With my coworkers, I pretend I have the most exciting life on earth

You know I am really not looking for excitement and happiness from other people-or from money. I completely agree with you on that point. On the people issue, as I said, I am quite used to making my own fun, or at least trying to. But as it is, I've gone the past almost 3 years not having much companionship, after coming out of a situation where I basically had an "urban tribe." I've tried really really hard to make friends and stuff, and it just hasn't happened. While I can do a lot of stuff on my own like go to a movie or dinner or something, and while I join organized groups for biking or whatever, sometimes weekends are just about grabbing a drink with friends or whatever. I try to be out of my house as much as possible, and as I said originally, I got bored sitting at the bar last night just drinking by myself. Sometimes you just need people around to hang out with. With respect to money, I don't expect money to solve any major problems, but when trying to organize your own fun, it would be nice to have enough to go away for the weekend or just go shopping to kill time or something. Even hobbies require a lot of money- I've put a TON into my bikes and my camera this year, much more than I really have, but all necessary.

Lauri

justam wrote:

Lauri, you are mixing up material responsibilities with EMOTIONAL responsibilities. They are different. What you seem to be craving is emotional connection. That is why you are bored. We can all fill up time but if we don't feel an inner connection or passionate interest in others, we will be bored.

My suggestions didn't really address this issue, instead I tried to suggest things on my list that might interest your mind or your emotions as an individual. However, honestly, if you can't get interested in things as an individual, you need more passion in your life.

And don't keep saying I'm condescending. I am just OLDER than you.

well I don't know if it is completely related, because I believe that you HAVE to be able to make your own fun, and I used to do it pretty well, but I do agree that I really do miss my friends. I don't believe it has anything to do with being single or having children or lack thereof, but I do miss my friends. But as the other person said, wishing I had my friends around is not going to help, I have to be able to enjoy things on my own.

Lauri

Given to... wrote:

Looks like it was already covered...

BIKING

I would give my left nut to have every weekend off to discover New England on a mountain bike. You are selling yourself short. If you have what it takes to get to where you are currently at, I know you have the goods to figure out the rest. You just need a kick in the ass to do it.

KICK'


Enjoy

I agree I don't have much confidence in myself when it comes to biking long distance myself. I am really, really terrible at repairs and navigation, that does really hold me back, I fully admit. I don't know what to do about it though, I keep taking free maintenance courses and stuff, but I never get any better. Basically I can't change a tube in under 4 hours. I try really hard, but I just can't. Last week the chain fell off the cassette on my commuting bike, and I couldn't get it back on! I couldn't pull the derailer out far enough. I had to walk to the bike shop! So you can see why I am really hesitant going out on the road on my own. Plus I know NOTHING about the suburbs and what kind of roads are out there. Knowing me I'd plot a 60 mile ride and it would be all vertical uphills on high-traffic streets with no shoulder.

Given to...

So this next weekend I would recommend hanging out with that cool ass bike mechanic at your local shop. You know the one... Dont think that you have to do the repairs, just hang back out of his way and watch him all day long. You know it will cost you, maybe dinner and brews, but he will let you see repairs over and over.

I dont know how you learn, but this might help. The shop owner might let you hang around in one of those bad ass mechanic aprons too. Sounds like fun so far...

chiquimonkey

Lauri wrote:

chiquimonkey wrote:

Lauri wrote:

hahah well I have been TRYING to, but you have to find a group having a ride that weekend, talk to the leader in advance...and there's only so many groups! The past few weekends I have not been able to organize anything. Actually last weekend I think it was, I had a ride set up, and the night before I realized I had a major equipment problem so I had to cancel. And when I went to the bike shop to have it fixed, they messed something else up!

And I'm sorry that I sound like I have a bad attitude, I'm just getting to my wit's end. I just want a group of friends around like I used to have that I can hang out with have plans with and go for bike rides with or whatever...I try very hard to make my own fun, but I'm just running out of stuff that excites me and not having any money doesn't really help matters.

Well just because one weekend didn't work out, you don't give up. Tenacity is key, for anything! Keep trying, especially if that is something you feel passionate about.

Fuel your passions, always.

You don't have to apologize for your attitude, just know you need to recognize it and see what responses it garners. If it is getting this sort of reception on a tiny scale like a PJ board, imagine how it projects in the 'real' world?

I think you're looking for excitement and happiness from external sources, like other people. They can provide that, but if you aren't happy with yourself, it really isn't going to do the trick, you know? And money won't make you happy either.

Well I really don't get upset about these things infront of other people. I usually keep my boredom and frustrations bottled up . With my coworkers, I pretend I have the most exciting life on earth

You know I am really not looking for excitement and happiness from other people-or from money. I completely agree with you on that point. On the people issue, as I said, I am quite used to making my own fun, or at least trying to. But as it is, I've gone the past almost 3 years not having much companionship, after coming out of a situation where I basically had an "urban tribe." I've tried really really hard to make friends and stuff, and it just hasn't happened. While I can do a lot of stuff on my own like go to a movie or dinner or something, and while I join organized groups for biking or whatever, sometimes weekends are just about grabbing a drink with friends or whatever. I try to be out of my house as much as possible, and as I said originally, I got bored sitting at the bar last night just drinking by myself. Sometimes you just need people around to hang out with. With respect to money, I don't expect money to solve any major problems, but when trying to organize your own fun, it would be nice to have enough to go away for the weekend or just go shopping to kill time or something. Even hobbies require a lot of money- I've put a TON into my bikes and my camera this year, much more than I really have, but all necessary.

Why pretend to have a life you don't have with co-workers? Fuck it, let them know hey I'm bored out of my damn skulls, you got any ideas? And then DON'T shoot them all down

If money is hindering your pursuit of biking, maybe start checking out classes or something to learn how to fix them yourself?

And you take photos? That's a great thing to keep you busy!

Lauri

Given to... wrote:

So this next weekend I would recommend hanging out with that cool ass bike mechanic at your local shop. You know the one... Dont think that you have to do the repairs, just hang back out of his way and watch him all day long. You know it will cost you, maybe dinner and brews, but he will let you see repairs over and over.

I dont know how you learn, but this might help. The shop owner might let you hang around in one of those bad ass mechanic aprons too. Sounds like fun so far...

haha sounds like a good idea but my local bike shop is not really like that. it's very, very, very, very busy, especially on weekends. It's complete chaos. And as much as I go in there I haven't yet determined that any of the mechanics are cool.

Lauri

chiquimonkey wrote:

Why pretend to have a life you don't have with co-workers? Fuck it, let them know hey I'm bored out of my damn skulls, you got any ideas? And then DON'T shoot them all down

yeah in recent weeks I have started to hint. they don't have any ideas. most of them are quite boring, you know the wife-and-kids set (no offense to anyone). I ask everyone what they did on the weekend and it's usually "oh we took the kids to the childrens museum" OR they went on some crazy vacation I could never afford.

chiquimonkey wrote:

If money is hindering your pursuit of biking, maybe start checking out classes or something to learn how to fix them yourself?

well I have taken free maintenance classes, so I keep up with that stuff, but as I said, I am absolutely TERRIBLE at maintenance. And free classes are not the most useful. Most of the stuff I'm spending money on isn't really repair labor anyway. I needed a fitting and then I needed a mileage and cadence computer so I don't get lost...then I couldn't get the computer installed correctly. I needed new pedals because I had really crappy ones I couldn't clip out of and it was deterring me from riding...haven't been able to sell the old ones yet...

chiquimonkey wrote:

And you take photos? That's a great thing to keep you busy!

Yeah sort of. I love taking photos when I go away somewhere, or even take my little camera on a bike ride, but I've lived in this city for so long, I feel like I've been there, seen that, everywhere. I'm not a good photographer in the sense of coming up with things to shoot. It just seems like everything I could shoot has been shot- over and over and over again. It's probably not even like that, it just seems that way. I usually take my camera a lot of places I go, but it's rare I get an interesting shot. I'll go to botanical gardens for a day of shooting next month when there's more in bloom, but right now there's not too much.

Jo

Put on Pearl Jam as loud as you can and then......
Get a job or volunteer,
Get a team together and pick up rubbish from local parks ect,
Get involved with your local community an help them out in your spare time.
MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENTS HOUSE? ( this is an assumption )

No joke, I would love to have your spare time.
I can't remember the last time I was BORED!