Today, I almost

pandora

Lauri wrote:

pandora wrote:

"Lauri"
I'm trying to have some smidgen of fun of life

Its all in how you look at it I guess. It is fun to be there for others. You may learn something from them and more about who you are.

well I don't even know if other people would want me to be there for them. I am really just not good at working with other people at all. I purposely went into a career where I really don't have to deal with people- every time I have to call a client and interact on the phone, I get super nervous. I am just not good at personal interaction, and I never have a clue what to say to people who are having a problem. I never knew it until a couple years ago, but I am really not a very likable person!

It takes just one person to change that, then when this one person likes you, you are likable.
I also have that problem with the phone, actually afraid of it. I think I say stupid stuff and regret what I say.
My Mama was the same. I don't do phones either.
But sometimes though just being there for someone is all they need. A smile or just a body who cares. The caring you give will start to come easy and it will make you feel needed. We all need to be needed. Then this need will feed you and you will see you are the nice person the people around you see.

Riverrunner

pandora wrote:

Lauri wrote:

went to the office just because I had nothing else to do. I swear weekends are becoming so boring for me I just don't know what to do with myself. I went running yesterday (Saturday) and then was just like "now what?" I go and walk around my neighborhood, get lunch and dinner and coffee and ice cream when I'm not even hungry, and that's it. Last night I went and hung out at the pub, had two drinks, got bored sitting there, and left. It's getting to be a real problem. I sleep until noon on weekends because I know the only thing I have waiting for me is a trip to the gym, and then a lot of times I skip that because I get antsy knowing I'm wasting a weekend afternoon in the gym. I can't keep doing this for the rest of my life! I honestly went into Starbucks today and was jealous of the students in there working. When I was student, I was never bored- it's impossible to be bored, there's ALWAYS work to do. But I can't afford to go to grad school forever! I don't have any friends in town, every date I go on is a dud, there's nothing bad happening, but the boredom is making me lose my mind! I just hate sitting around more than anything in the world, and it's all I do! I just don't get it, what do other people do when they're not working?

Maybe try volunteering, working with pets, the elderly, terminally ill kids. When you do something for someone else it fills your heart and brings contentment. Also it helps you to appreciate just how blessed you are.

I second this idea. By the way I am fostering two cats (one is a little kitten) now and I need a cat sitter for our St. Louis/Kansas City/ MSG Pearl Jam trips.

pandora

Riverrunner wrote:

pandora wrote:

Lauri wrote:

went to the office just because I had nothing else to do. I swear weekends are becoming so boring for me I just don't know what to do with myself. I went running yesterday (Saturday) and then was just like "now what?" I go and walk around my neighborhood, get lunch and dinner and coffee and ice cream when I'm not even hungry, and that's it. Last night I went and hung out at the pub, had two drinks, got bored sitting there, and left. It's getting to be a real problem. I sleep until noon on weekends because I know the only thing I have waiting for me is a trip to the gym, and then a lot of times I skip that because I get antsy knowing I'm wasting a weekend afternoon in the gym. I can't keep doing this for the rest of my life! I honestly went into Starbucks today and was jealous of the students in there working. When I was student, I was never bored- it's impossible to be bored, there's ALWAYS work to do. But I can't afford to go to grad school forever! I don't have any friends in town, every date I go on is a dud, there's nothing bad happening, but the boredom is making me lose my mind! I just hate sitting around more than anything in the world, and it's all I do! I just don't get it, what do other people do when they're not working?

Maybe try volunteering, working with pets, the elderly, terminally ill kids. When you do something for someone else it fills your heart and brings contentment. Also it helps you to appreciate just how blessed you are.

I second this idea. By the way I am fostering two cats (one is a little kitten) now and I need a cat sitter for our St. Louis/Kansas City/ MSG Pearl Jam trips.

see you in KC! are you as excited as me!!! next week this time I'll be partying! It will be Pearl Jam eve

TravisTheSky

For some fulfillment, how about adopting a child?

For anxiety around people, try taking an acting class or voice class.

For money, you can sell blood, collect recyclables, or buy + sell on eBay.

Is there something you want more than anything else in the world? No matter how impossible it seems, strive for that one goal. I did this. Everyone can.

michelleelise

You can try meetin.org if they have a group near your city. If you're on the east coast then they probably do.

When I moved to Colorado I didn't know a single person for 1200 miles. I just started searching for groups online. I found meetin.org (which was much, much smaller back then) and a couple good meetup.com groups. I don't go to groups anymore, but a lot of my friends are people who I originally met that way.

And if there isn't already a meetup for your interests, you can always start one

norm

well there is a solution that would solve the lack of money, sex and the boredom

:think:

justam

Lauri wrote:

went to the office just because I had nothing else to do. I swear weekends are becoming so boring for me I just don't know what to do with myself. I went running yesterday (Saturday) and then was just like "now what?" I go and walk around my neighborhood, get lunch and dinner and coffee and ice cream when I'm not even hungry, and that's it. Last night I went and hung out at the pub, had two drinks, got bored sitting there, and left. It's getting to be a real problem. I sleep until noon on weekends because I know the only thing I have waiting for me is a trip to the gym, and then a lot of times I skip that because I get antsy knowing I'm wasting a weekend afternoon in the gym. I can't keep doing this for the rest of my life! I honestly went into Starbucks today and was jealous of the students in there working. When I was student, I was never bored- it's impossible to be bored, there's ALWAYS work to do. But I can't afford to go to grad school forever! I don't have any friends in town, every date I go on is a dud, there's nothing bad happening, but the boredom is making me lose my mind! I just hate sitting around more than anything in the world, and it's all I do! I just don't get it, what do other people do when they're not working?

Read.
Draw.
Listen to music.
Grow some plants.
Call people you like.
Go for a walk!
Sit under a tree and write something.
Take a nap.
Get a cook book out and learn to make something new.
Research and learn about something that interests you.
Re-arrange your furniture.
Clean your entire house.
Organize your desk!
Plan a vacation.
Go to a movie.
Play an instrument.
Take a yoga class.
Dye your hair a new color.
Re-arrange your closet by color.
Sew something new.
Repair something old.
Re-pot your plants.
Go to the library and check out some new books.
Go for a bike ride.
Go for a hike.
Find a boyfriend to sleep with.

Whizbang

Lauri wrote:

went to the office just because I had nothing else to do. I swear weekends are becoming so boring for me I just don't know what to do with myself. I went running yesterday (Saturday) and then was just like "now what?" I go and walk around my neighborhood, get lunch and dinner and coffee and ice cream when I'm not even hungry, and that's it. Last night I went and hung out at the pub, had two drinks, got bored sitting there, and left. It's getting to be a real problem. I sleep until noon on weekends because I know the only thing I have waiting for me is a trip to the gym, and then a lot of times I skip that because I get antsy knowing I'm wasting a weekend afternoon in the gym. I can't keep doing this for the rest of my life! I honestly went into Starbucks today and was jealous of the students in there working. When I was student, I was never bored- it's impossible to be bored, there's ALWAYS work to do. But I can't afford to go to grad school forever! I don't have any friends in town, every date I go on is a dud, there's nothing bad happening, but the boredom is making me lose my mind! I just hate sitting around more than anything in the world, and it's all I do! I just don't get it, what do other people do when they're not working?

I'm single and live alone as well. I do what I want on the weekends. I'm rarely bored. I have two dogs that keep me busy. Keep my house neat, do laundry, go out with friends. I ride horses so I have lessons on Saturdays. Summer time comes and I'll work at horse shows for my instructor occasionally. My company's busy season is the fall so I work some crazy hours in September. Sometimes I don't feel like socializing with anyone and I'll be a hermit, ignore the world. Dating? eh...I don't date. I have a couple men in my life but no relationship.

Whizbang

Whizbang wrote:

Lauri wrote:

went to the office just because I had nothing else to do. I swear weekends are becoming so boring for me I just don't know what to do with myself. I went running yesterday (Saturday) and then was just like "now what?" I go and walk around my neighborhood, get lunch and dinner and coffee and ice cream when I'm not even hungry, and that's it. Last night I went and hung out at the pub, had two drinks, got bored sitting there, and left. It's getting to be a real problem. I sleep until noon on weekends because I know the only thing I have waiting for me is a trip to the gym, and then a lot of times I skip that because I get antsy knowing I'm wasting a weekend afternoon in the gym. I can't keep doing this for the rest of my life! I honestly went into Starbucks today and was jealous of the students in there working. When I was student, I was never bored- it's impossible to be bored, there's ALWAYS work to do. But I can't afford to go to grad school forever! I don't have any friends in town, every date I go on is a dud, there's nothing bad happening, but the boredom is making me lose my mind! I just hate sitting around more than anything in the world, and it's all I do! I just don't get it, what do other people do when they're not working?

I'm single and live alone as well. I do what I want on the weekends. I'm rarely bored. I have two dogs that keep me busy. Keep my house neat, do laundry, go out with friends. I ride horses so I have lessons on Saturdays. Summer time comes and I'll work at horse shows for my instructor occasionally. My company's busy season is the fall so I work some crazy hours in September. Sometimes I don't feel like socializing with anyone and I'll be a hermit, ignore the world. Dating? eh...I don't date. I have a couple men in my life but no relationship.

oh yeah....I'm forced to mow my lawn, which I hate, but no one else is going to do it.

Riverrunner

pandora wrote:

see you in KC! are you as excited as me!!! next week this time I'll be partying! It will be Pearl Jam eve

Yes, I am so excited. The week will fly by as preparing for vacation is very hectic for me. I'm self- employed so I have to take care of all of my office stuff, then arrange care for our own menagerie of strays we have taken in, as well as the two strays. And then it will be PARTY TIME! Starting with Sunday night.

Lauri

Whizbang wrote:

I'm single and live alone as well. I do what I want on the weekends. I'm rarely bored. I have two dogs that keep me busy. Keep my house neat, do laundry, go out with friends. I ride horses so I have lessons on Saturdays. Summer time comes and I'll work at horse shows for my instructor occasionally. My company's busy season is the fall so I work some crazy hours in September. Sometimes I don't feel like socializing with anyone and I'll be a hermit, ignore the world. Dating? eh...I don't date. I have a couple men in my life but no relationship.

I don't think boredom has anything to do with being single or living alone. I haven't been any less bored while in relationships or living with people. In fact sometimes I think that's worse because then you've got two people sitting around bored. I just mentioned dating as something to do, like hanging out with friends or whatever.

justam

Lauri wrote:

Whizbang wrote:

I'm single and live alone as well. I do what I want on the weekends. I'm rarely bored. I have two dogs that keep me busy. Keep my house neat, do laundry, go out with friends. I ride horses so I have lessons on Saturdays. Summer time comes and I'll work at horse shows for my instructor occasionally. My company's busy season is the fall so I work some crazy hours in September. Sometimes I don't feel like socializing with anyone and I'll be a hermit, ignore the world. Dating? eh...I don't date. I have a couple men in my life but no relationship.

I don't think boredom has anything to do with being single or living alone. I haven't been any less bored while in relationships or living with people. In fact sometimes I think that's worse because then you've got two people sitting around bored. I just mentioned dating as something to do, like hanging out with friends or whatever.

It's hard to be bored when you're taking care of a couple of young children or trying to take care of a house and a husband in between your own work though. Maybe you need more responsibilities?

chiquimonkey

norm wrote:

well there is a solution that would solve the lack of money, sex and the boredom

:think:

Why whatever do you mean, Norm?

justam wrote:

Read.
Draw.
Listen to music.
Grow some plants.
Call people you like.
Go for a walk!
Sit under a tree and write something.
Take a nap.
Get a cook book out and learn to make something new.
Research and learn about something that interests you.
Re-arrange your furniture.
Clean your entire house.
Organize your desk!
Plan a vacation.
Go to a movie.
Play an instrument.
Take a yoga class.
Dye your hair a new color.
Re-arrange your closet by color.
Sew something new.
Repair something old.
Re-pot your plants.
Go to the library and check out some new books.
Go for a bike ride.
Go for a hike.
Find a boyfriend to sleep with.

Just wanted to put that up there again since it hadn't been addressed. I'd also add start a side business of your own, doing something you enjoy, keeps you busy and makes some extra cash too Tap into something creative, or take a class.

I'm with Whiz, I don't get bored either. If I won the lottery I'd have *no* problem finding ways to spend my time

Lauri

justam wrote:

Read.

As I explained, reading is not a good option when you have classic ADHD. I try to read every weekend. I even go to the coffee shop just to read. I usually average about 3 pages before I can't take it anymore and get up to do something else.

justam wrote:

Draw.

I've never drawn. I don't know how and I don't have an artistic bone in my body. And I can't sit still long enough to learn

justam wrote:

Listen to music.

I'm listening to music now, it doesn't make me not bored.

justam wrote:

Grow some plants.

My porch is covered with plants I planted a few weeks ago. It takes about 10 minutes to water them, not a cure for boredom.

justam wrote:

Call people you like.

I don't know phone people. we email. and yes, I spend most of my free time emailing people, on facebook, etc.

justam wrote:

Go for a walk!

As I explained, that's what I do, I walk around my neighborhood. it gets boring.

justam wrote:

Sit under a tree and write something.

how can I write anything? I'm bored out of my gourd. I therefore have nothing to write about.

justam wrote:

Take a nap.

when I'm not walking around my neighborhood and writing emails, I'm taking naps. I take so many naps on the weekend I can't fall asleep at night. I don't think that sleeping to make the time pass is a really healthy activity.

justam wrote:

Get a cook book out and learn to make something new.

I hate cooking. I have no interest in food whatsoever.

justam wrote:

Research and learn about something that interests you.

This is all I do, every single day, not just on the weekends. Every night I come home from work, sit on the couch and read shit online. I can tell you so much useless crap about so many different topics, it's not even funny. People can TELL I'm bored because all I talk about is all this crap I pass my time looking up.

justam wrote:

Re-arrange your furniture.

did that last weekend

justam wrote:

Clean your entire house.

Did that the past two weekends and I didn't even really need to.

justam wrote:

Organize your desk!

I don't have one!

justam wrote:

Plan a vacation.

trust me I would LOVE to do this one, but I can't go on vacation anytime in the foreseeable future. I actually don't think I will ever be able to go on vacation again in my entire life. It sounds like an exaggeration, but I don't have a cent to my name, and given my career and expenses, I don't think I ever will.

justam wrote:

Go to a movie.

eh I do when there is something I want to see. But as I said, with ADHD, I really have to have something I'm really interested in.

justam wrote:

Play an instrument.

I can't. I just can't. please don't make me cry. I can't sit still long enough to play an instrument. this is bringing back very horrible memories of trying to play guitar when I was a kid.

justam wrote:

Take a yoga class.

I despise yoga. So unbelievably boring. and spending time in the yoga studio of the gym is no different than being in the rest of the gym.

justam wrote:

Dye your hair a new color.

I'm 'spose to do that every weekend?

justam wrote:

Re-arrange your closet by color.

I don't have enough in my closet to organize, I cleaned it out during my massive purge trying to kill time the past two weekends.

justam wrote:

Sew something new.

I don't have the foggiest idea how to sew, I don't have a sewing machine, and it's the last thing I want to do on my weekends.

justam wrote:

Repair something old.
Re-pot your plants.

I don't have anything that needs repairing or repotting!

justam wrote:

Go to the library and check out some new books.

See above, reading is not the answer

justam wrote:

Go for a bike ride.

Well here we go, this is what I would LIKE to do. Biking is what I do. But I am having so many issues finding an appropriate cycling club. And I am having so many stupid equipment issues I want to pull my hair out. I'm so frustrated in terms of biking this spring it's not even funny. I can't go biking by myself because I don't know any routes of my own. Every time I try, I go ten miles and hit a highway, I'm just not good at navigation. But I NEEEEEEEEEED to go biking, I just can't find the right club.

justam wrote:

Go for a hike.

I don't hike alone, and I've given up on hiking clubs after 8 years of shitty hiking clubs.

justam wrote:

Find a boyfriend to sleep with.

trust me I'd do that all day if I could.

Look, all of this is just stuff to pass the time. Reading a book and rearranging your sock drawer is what you do when DON'T have plans. These things aren't fun, they're stuff you do when you're bored. I want to get OUT and meet people and go places and kick my ass physically. I can't clean my closet every weekend, I'm tired of listening to myself think! I want to get OUT!

Lauri

justam wrote:

Lauri wrote:

Whizbang wrote:

I'm single and live alone as well. I do what I want on the weekends. I'm rarely bored. I have two dogs that keep me busy. Keep my house neat, do laundry, go out with friends. I ride horses so I have lessons on Saturdays. Summer time comes and I'll work at horse shows for my instructor occasionally. My company's busy season is the fall so I work some crazy hours in September. Sometimes I don't feel like socializing with anyone and I'll be a hermit, ignore the world. Dating? eh...I don't date. I have a couple men in my life but no relationship.

I don't think boredom has anything to do with being single or living alone. I haven't been any less bored while in relationships or living with people. In fact sometimes I think that's worse because then you've got two people sitting around bored. I just mentioned dating as something to do, like hanging out with friends or whatever.

It's hard to be bored when you're taking care of a couple of young children or trying to take care of a house and a husband in between your own work though. Maybe you need more responsibilities?

well sorry but I'm certainly not going to go out and get pregnant to avoid boredom!

norm

Lauri wrote:

well sorry but I'm certainly not going to go out and get pregnant to avoid boredom!

it works for the duggars

justam

Lauri wrote:

justam wrote:

Lauri wrote:

I don't think boredom has anything to do with being single or living alone. I haven't been any less bored while in relationships or living with people. In fact sometimes I think that's worse because then you've got two people sitting around bored. I just mentioned dating as something to do, like hanging out with friends or whatever.

It's hard to be bored when you're taking care of a couple of young children or trying to take care of a house and a husband in between your own work though. Maybe you need more responsibilities?

well sorry but I'm certainly not going to go out and get pregnant to avoid boredom!

When you put it that way, of course it sounds ridiculous. However, I think in the long run, you do need to find a family for yourself. First you have to fall in love. Second get settled. Third, have some long-term plans. You might even just have a husband and some dogs!!

I know you hate everything everyone else does, but sometimes "what everyone else does" is the answer to your empty feeling. :geek:

chiquimonkey

norm wrote:

Lauri wrote:

well sorry but I'm certainly not going to go out and get pregnant to avoid boredom!

it works for the duggars

Didn't they get a TV deal on top of it? Sure her vagina probably echoes but hey, it's extra cash

chiquimonkey

Lauri wrote:

Look, all of this is just stuff to pass the time. Reading a book and rearranging your sock drawer is what you do when DON'T have plans. These things aren't fun, they're stuff you do when you're bored. I want to get OUT and meet people and go places and kick my ass physically. I can't clean my closet every weekend, I'm tired of listening to myself think! I want to get OUT!

Then get a map so you don't end up at a highway and GO OUT.

Life is short. Just go do it already. Like right now, seriously google maps is like 24 hours a day open lol

Lauri

justam wrote:

When you put it that way, of course it sounds ridiculous. However, I think in the long run, you do need to find a family for yourself. First you have to fall in love. Second get settled. Third, have some long-term plans. You might even just have a husband and some dogs!!

I know you hate everything everyone else does, but sometimes "what everyone else does" is the answer to your empty feeling. :geek:

I'm not "empty" I'm bored. I don't want a husband and I don't want children. I don't mean to be hostile, but I think that is a very condescending thing to say. It's not because "everyone else" does it, but because I don't think it is right for me. I HAVE a family. Trust me, I HAVE a family. They might not be a husband and kids, but they are still a family, and they don't help with boredom. Also, I feel VERY strongly that you can't have "plans" for romantic relationships, they just happen. If you have "plans" regarding that sort of thing, you are asking for a lifetime of trouble. I feel VERY strongly about this. I don't want to get involved in that sort of mindset, it is just recipe for disaster. In terms of kids, I've never really wanted them, and I know that I am not organized enough to take care of them. Everyone I know yells at me when I threaten to get a dog, they know I can't take care of one. Well, if I can't take care of a dog, I certainly can't take care of kids. As I said I hate cooking and food shopping and everything like that- my children would starve.

Besides, I also don't believe that this sort of thing helps with boredom. Some of the most bored, frustrated, lonely people I know are married with children. I get frustrated not having anything to do on weekends, but some married and children-having people I know are actually depressed. I think that's where the "empty" feeling lies- if you try to cure boredom by searching for someone to marry and have kids with...it's not going to work, you're going to feel REALLY "empty."