I'm single and live alone as well. I do what I want on the weekends. I'm rarely bored. I have two dogs that keep me busy. Keep my house neat, do laundry, go out with friends. I ride horses so I have lessons on Saturdays. Summer time comes and I'll work at horse shows for my instructor occasionally. My company's busy season is the fall so I work some crazy hours in September. Sometimes I don't feel like socializing with anyone and I'll be a hermit, ignore the world. Dating? eh...I don't date. I have a couple men in my life but no relationship.
I don't think boredom has anything to do with being single or living alone. I haven't been any less bored while in relationships or living with people. In fact sometimes I think that's worse because then you've got two people sitting around bored. I just mentioned dating as something to do, like hanging out with friends or whatever.
I'm single and live alone as well. I do what I want on the weekends. I'm rarely bored. I have two dogs that keep me busy. Keep my house neat, do laundry, go out with friends. I ride horses so I have lessons on Saturdays. Summer time comes and I'll work at horse shows for my instructor occasionally. My company's busy season is the fall so I work some crazy hours in September. Sometimes I don't feel like socializing with anyone and I'll be a hermit, ignore the world. Dating? eh...I don't date. I have a couple men in my life but no relationship.
I don't think boredom has anything to do with being single or living alone. I haven't been any less bored while in relationships or living with people. In fact sometimes I think that's worse because then you've got two people sitting around bored. I just mentioned dating as something to do, like hanging out with friends or whatever.
It's hard to be bored when you're taking care of a couple of young children or trying to take care of a house and a husband in between your own work though. Maybe you need more responsibilities?
Read.
Draw.
Listen to music.
Grow some plants.
Call people you like.
Go for a walk!
Sit under a tree and write something.
Take a nap.
Get a cook book out and learn to make something new.
Research and learn about something that interests you.
Re-arrange your furniture.
Clean your entire house.
Organize your desk!
Plan a vacation.
Go to a movie.
Play an instrument.
Take a yoga class.
Dye your hair a new color.
Re-arrange your closet by color.
Sew something new.
Repair something old.
Re-pot your plants.
Go to the library and check out some new books.
Go for a bike ride.
Go for a hike.
Find a boyfriend to sleep with.
Just wanted to put that up there again since it hadn't been addressed. I'd also add start a side business of your own, doing something you enjoy, keeps you busy and makes some extra cash too Tap into something creative, or take a class.
I'm with Whiz, I don't get bored either. If I won the lottery I'd have *no* problem finding ways to spend my time
As I explained, reading is not a good option when you have classic ADHD. I try to read every weekend. I even go to the coffee shop just to read. I usually average about 3 pages before I can't take it anymore and get up to do something else.
when I'm not walking around my neighborhood and writing emails, I'm taking naps. I take so many naps on the weekend I can't fall asleep at night. I don't think that sleeping to make the time pass is a really healthy activity.
Research and learn about something that interests you.
This is all I do, every single day, not just on the weekends. Every night I come home from work, sit on the couch and read shit online. I can tell you so much useless crap about so many different topics, it's not even funny. People can TELL I'm bored because all I talk about is all this crap I pass my time looking up.
trust me I would LOVE to do this one, but I can't go on vacation anytime in the foreseeable future. I actually don't think I will ever be able to go on vacation again in my entire life. It sounds like an exaggeration, but I don't have a cent to my name, and given my career and expenses, I don't think I ever will.
I can't. I just can't. please don't make me cry. I can't sit still long enough to play an instrument. this is bringing back very horrible memories of trying to play guitar when I was a kid.
Well here we go, this is what I would LIKE to do. Biking is what I do. But I am having so many issues finding an appropriate cycling club. And I am having so many stupid equipment issues I want to pull my hair out. I'm so frustrated in terms of biking this spring it's not even funny. I can't go biking by myself because I don't know any routes of my own. Every time I try, I go ten miles and hit a highway, I'm just not good at navigation. But I NEEEEEEEEEED to go biking, I just can't find the right club.
Look, all of this is just stuff to pass the time. Reading a book and rearranging your sock drawer is what you do when DON'T have plans. These things aren't fun, they're stuff you do when you're bored. I want to get OUT and meet people and go places and kick my ass physically. I can't clean my closet every weekend, I'm tired of listening to myself think! I want to get OUT!
I'm single and live alone as well. I do what I want on the weekends. I'm rarely bored. I have two dogs that keep me busy. Keep my house neat, do laundry, go out with friends. I ride horses so I have lessons on Saturdays. Summer time comes and I'll work at horse shows for my instructor occasionally. My company's busy season is the fall so I work some crazy hours in September. Sometimes I don't feel like socializing with anyone and I'll be a hermit, ignore the world. Dating? eh...I don't date. I have a couple men in my life but no relationship.
I don't think boredom has anything to do with being single or living alone. I haven't been any less bored while in relationships or living with people. In fact sometimes I think that's worse because then you've got two people sitting around bored. I just mentioned dating as something to do, like hanging out with friends or whatever.
It's hard to be bored when you're taking care of a couple of young children or trying to take care of a house and a husband in between your own work though. Maybe you need more responsibilities?
well sorry but I'm certainly not going to go out and get pregnant to avoid boredom!
I don't think boredom has anything to do with being single or living alone. I haven't been any less bored while in relationships or living with people. In fact sometimes I think that's worse because then you've got two people sitting around bored. I just mentioned dating as something to do, like hanging out with friends or whatever.
It's hard to be bored when you're taking care of a couple of young children or trying to take care of a house and a husband in between your own work though. Maybe you need more responsibilities?
well sorry but I'm certainly not going to go out and get pregnant to avoid boredom!
When you put it that way, of course it sounds ridiculous. However, I think in the long run, you do need to find a family for yourself. First you have to fall in love. Second get settled. Third, have some long-term plans. You might even just have a husband and some dogs!!
I know you hate everything everyone else does, but sometimes "what everyone else does" is the answer to your empty feeling. :geek:
Look, all of this is just stuff to pass the time. Reading a book and rearranging your sock drawer is what you do when DON'T have plans. These things aren't fun, they're stuff you do when you're bored. I want to get OUT and meet people and go places and kick my ass physically. I can't clean my closet every weekend, I'm tired of listening to myself think! I want to get OUT!
Then get a map so you don't end up at a highway and GO OUT.
Life is short. Just go do it already. Like right now, seriously google maps is like 24 hours a day open lol
When you put it that way, of course it sounds ridiculous. However, I think in the long run, you do need to find a family for yourself. First you have to fall in love. Second get settled. Third, have some long-term plans. You might even just have a husband and some dogs!!
I know you hate everything everyone else does, but sometimes "what everyone else does" is the answer to your empty feeling. :geek:
I'm not "empty" I'm bored. I don't want a husband and I don't want children. I don't mean to be hostile, but I think that is a very condescending thing to say. It's not because "everyone else" does it, but because I don't think it is right for me. I HAVE a family. Trust me, I HAVE a family. They might not be a husband and kids, but they are still a family, and they don't help with boredom. Also, I feel VERY strongly that you can't have "plans" for romantic relationships, they just happen. If you have "plans" regarding that sort of thing, you are asking for a lifetime of trouble. I feel VERY strongly about this. I don't want to get involved in that sort of mindset, it is just recipe for disaster. In terms of kids, I've never really wanted them, and I know that I am not organized enough to take care of them. Everyone I know yells at me when I threaten to get a dog, they know I can't take care of one. Well, if I can't take care of a dog, I certainly can't take care of kids. As I said I hate cooking and food shopping and everything like that- my children would starve.
Besides, I also don't believe that this sort of thing helps with boredom. Some of the most bored, frustrated, lonely people I know are married with children. I get frustrated not having anything to do on weekends, but some married and children-having people I know are actually depressed. I think that's where the "empty" feeling lies- if you try to cure boredom by searching for someone to marry and have kids with...it's not going to work, you're going to feel REALLY "empty."
Look, all of this is just stuff to pass the time. Reading a book and rearranging your sock drawer is what you do when DON'T have plans. These things aren't fun, they're stuff you do when you're bored. I want to get OUT and meet people and go places and kick my ass physically. I can't clean my closet every weekend, I'm tired of listening to myself think! I want to get OUT!
Then get a map so you don't end up at a highway and GO OUT.
Life is short. Just go do it already. Like right now, seriously google maps is like 24 hours a day open lol
are you a long distance cyclist? It's very complicated, even dangerous at times. I am very bad at repairs at stuff and venturing into unknown suburbs and not knowing the terrain makes me very anxious, and doesn't seem especially responsible. I live in a very congested area, and it is DIFFICULT to find open road to bike on. You really have to know your way around, it's not just about google maps.
Maybe you don't realize how negative you seem to people?! :shock:
We try to help you and then you just start attacking our suggestions. You don't really want help or suggestions. You just seem to want to revel in your excuses and your misery.
Look, all of this is just stuff to pass the time. Reading a book and rearranging your sock drawer is what you do when DON'T have plans. These things aren't fun, they're stuff you do when you're bored. I want to get OUT and meet people and go places and kick my ass physically. I can't clean my closet every weekend, I'm tired of listening to myself think! I want to get OUT!
Then get a map so you don't end up at a highway and GO OUT.
Life is short. Just go do it already. Like right now, seriously google maps is like 24 hours a day open lol
are you a long distance cyclist? It's very complicated, even dangerous at times. I am very bad at repairs at stuff and venturing into unknown suburbs and not knowing the terrain makes me very anxious, and doesn't seem especially responsible. I live in a very congested area, and it is DIFFICULT to find open road to bike on. You really have to know your way around, it's not just about google maps.
I don't know how to ride a bike, so hell no lol
Okay, so what was the excuse for not finding a local biking group or chapter then? I must have missed it?
Maybe you don't realize how negative you seem to people?! :shock:
I'm not a negative person. I'm actually overly optimistic, which gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes. I have learned to contain it a bit (for example having a very big scare on the road during an overly-ambitious bike ride). Even if I were, I don't see what that has to do with anything. I also don't think it's fair to judge a person like that based on a few written paragraphs about a particular problem they are having. You are making a lot of judgements regarding the "emptiness" thing and the "responsibility" thing...I actually have a LOT of responsibilities. I take care of myself and my entire life. I support myself, I organize my entire life myself, something goes wrong, I fix it myself. I meant to say it in the last post, but it is incorrect to suggest that single people without children don't have any responsibilities. We have a LOT of responsibilities.
Maybe you don't realize how negative you seem to people?! :shock:
I'm not a negative person. I'm actually overly optimistic, which gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes. I have learned to contain it a bit (for example having a very big scare on the road during an overly-ambitious bike ride). Even if I were, I don't see what that has to do with anything. I also don't think it's fair to judge a person like that based on a few written paragraphs about a particular problem they are having. You are making a lot of judgements regarding the "emptiness" thing and the "responsibility" thing...I actually have a LOT of responsibilities. I take care of myself and my entire life. I support myself, I organize my entire life myself, something goes wrong, I fix it myself. I meant to say it in the last post, but it is incorrect to suggest that single people without children don't have any responsibilities. We have a LOT of responsibilities.
As a single person I totally agree with you. I do just fine keeping myself busy without children. But from your posts, and previous incarnations, you *do* project negativity. You've managed to make an excuse and shoot down every possible suggestion, and even piss on your own suggestions!
Life really is short, the energy expended on being negative just wastes it all away. The thing you may need to focus on beyond any other hobby or whatever is working on your attitude. Just my 2cents anyway.
Okay, so what was the excuse for not finding a local biking group or chapter then? I must have missed it?
there's not an excuse, I've just gone on rides with a couple in the past couple months and they have not been right for me. It's like playing tennis- you have to find people on the same skill and fitness and interest level or it's just not going to go well. Sometimes it can be really difficult to find the right thing. I am in a weird place because I am interested in fitness but not racing, and there's not a lot of groups like that- most are either hard core racing teams or kind of casual tour type riding with usually older people. It's not fun when you're not with the right group.
Okay, so what was the excuse for not finding a local biking group or chapter then? I must have missed it?
there's not an excuse, I've just gone on rides with a couple in the past couple months and they have not been right for me. It's like playing tennis- you have to find people on the same skill and fitness and interest level or it's just not going to go well. Sometimes it can be really difficult to find the right thing. I am in a weird place because I am interested in fitness but not racing, and there's not a lot of groups like that- most are either hard core racing teams or kind of casual tour type riding with usually older people. It's not fun when you're not with the right group.
Well spend the time on the weekend finding the right group
Maybe you don't realize how negative you seem to people?! :shock:
I'm not a negative person. I'm actually overly optimistic, which gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes. I have learned to contain it a bit (for example having a very big scare on the road during an overly-ambitious bike ride). Even if I were, I don't see what that has to do with anything. I also don't think it's fair to judge a person like that based on a few written paragraphs about a particular problem they are having. You are making a lot of judgements regarding the "emptiness" thing and the "responsibility" thing...I actually have a LOT of responsibilities. I take care of myself and my entire life. I support myself, I organize my entire life myself, something goes wrong, I fix it myself. I meant to say it in the last post, but it is incorrect to suggest that single people without children don't have any responsibilities. We have a LOT of responsibilities.
Lauri, you are mixing up material responsibilities with EMOTIONAL responsibilities. They are different. What you seem to be craving is emotional connection. That is why you are bored. We can all fill up time but if we don't feel an inner connection or passionate interest in others, we will be bored.
My suggestions didn't really address this issue, instead I tried to suggest things on my list that might interest your mind or your emotions as an individual. However, honestly, if you can't get interested in things as an individual, you need more passion in your life.
And don't keep saying I'm condescending. I am just OLDER than you.
I would give my left nut to have every weekend off to discover New England on a mountain bike. You are selling yourself short. If you have what it takes to get to where you are currently at, I know you have the goods to figure out the rest. You just need a kick in the ass to do it.
Okay, so what was the excuse for not finding a local biking group or chapter then? I must have missed it?
there's not an excuse, I've just gone on rides with a couple in the past couple months and they have not been right for me. It's like playing tennis- you have to find people on the same skill and fitness and interest level or it's just not going to go well. Sometimes it can be really difficult to find the right thing. I am in a weird place because I am interested in fitness but not racing, and there's not a lot of groups like that- most are either hard core racing teams or kind of casual tour type riding with usually older people. It's not fun when you're not with the right group.
Well spend the time on the weekend finding the right group
hahah well I have been TRYING to, but you have to find a group having a ride that weekend, talk to the leader in advance...and there's only so many groups! The past few weekends I have not been able to organize anything. Actually last weekend I think it was, I had a ride set up, and the night before I realized I had a major equipment problem so I had to cancel. And when I went to the bike shop to have it fixed, they messed something else up!
And I'm sorry that I sound like I have a bad attitude, I'm just getting to my wit's end. I just want a group of friends around like I used to have that I can hang out with have plans with and go for bike rides with or whatever...I try very hard to make my own fun, but I'm just running out of stuff that excites me and not having any money doesn't really help matters.
hahah well I have been TRYING to, but you have to find a group having a ride that weekend, talk to the leader in advance...and there's only so many groups! The past few weekends I have not been able to organize anything. Actually last weekend I think it was, I had a ride set up, and the night before I realized I had a major equipment problem so I had to cancel. And when I went to the bike shop to have it fixed, they messed something else up!
And I'm sorry that I sound like I have a bad attitude, I'm just getting to my wit's end. I just want a group of friends around like I used to have that I can hang out with have plans with and go for bike rides with or whatever...I try very hard to make my own fun, but I'm just running out of stuff that excites me and not having any money doesn't really help matters.
Well just because one weekend didn't work out, you don't give up. Tenacity is key, for anything! Keep trying, especially if that is something you feel passionate about.
Fuel your passions, always.
You don't have to apologize for your attitude, just know you need to recognize it and see what responses it garners. If it is getting this sort of reception on a tiny scale like a PJ board, imagine how it projects in the 'real' world?
I think you're looking for excitement and happiness from external sources, like other people. They can provide that, but if you aren't happy with yourself, it really isn't going to do the trick, you know? And money won't make you happy either.
hahah well I have been TRYING to, but you have to find a group having a ride that weekend, talk to the leader in advance...and there's only so many groups! The past few weekends I have not been able to organize anything. Actually last weekend I think it was, I had a ride set up, and the night before I realized I had a major equipment problem so I had to cancel. And when I went to the bike shop to have it fixed, they messed something else up!
And I'm sorry that I sound like I have a bad attitude, I'm just getting to my wit's end. I just want a group of friends around like I used to have that I can hang out with have plans with and go for bike rides with or whatever...I try very hard to make my own fun, but I'm just running out of stuff that excites me and not having any money doesn't really help matters.
Well just because one weekend didn't work out, you don't give up. Tenacity is key, for anything! Keep trying, especially if that is something you feel passionate about.
Fuel your passions, always.
You don't have to apologize for your attitude, just know you need to recognize it and see what responses it garners. If it is getting this sort of reception on a tiny scale like a PJ board, imagine how it projects in the 'real' world?
I think you're looking for excitement and happiness from external sources, like other people. They can provide that, but if you aren't happy with yourself, it really isn't going to do the trick, you know? And money won't make you happy either.
Well I really don't get upset about these things infront of other people. I usually keep my boredom and frustrations bottled up . With my coworkers, I pretend I have the most exciting life on earth
You know I am really not looking for excitement and happiness from other people-or from money. I completely agree with you on that point. On the people issue, as I said, I am quite used to making my own fun, or at least trying to. But as it is, I've gone the past almost 3 years not having much companionship, after coming out of a situation where I basically had an "urban tribe." I've tried really really hard to make friends and stuff, and it just hasn't happened. While I can do a lot of stuff on my own like go to a movie or dinner or something, and while I join organized groups for biking or whatever, sometimes weekends are just about grabbing a drink with friends or whatever. I try to be out of my house as much as possible, and as I said originally, I got bored sitting at the bar last night just drinking by myself. Sometimes you just need people around to hang out with. With respect to money, I don't expect money to solve any major problems, but when trying to organize your own fun, it would be nice to have enough to go away for the weekend or just go shopping to kill time or something. Even hobbies require a lot of money- I've put a TON into my bikes and my camera this year, much more than I really have, but all necessary.
Lauri, you are mixing up material responsibilities with EMOTIONAL responsibilities. They are different. What you seem to be craving is emotional connection. That is why you are bored. We can all fill up time but if we don't feel an inner connection or passionate interest in others, we will be bored.
My suggestions didn't really address this issue, instead I tried to suggest things on my list that might interest your mind or your emotions as an individual. However, honestly, if you can't get interested in things as an individual, you need more passion in your life.
And don't keep saying I'm condescending. I am just OLDER than you.
well I don't know if it is completely related, because I believe that you HAVE to be able to make your own fun, and I used to do it pretty well, but I do agree that I really do miss my friends. I don't believe it has anything to do with being single or having children or lack thereof, but I do miss my friends. But as the other person said, wishing I had my friends around is not going to help, I have to be able to enjoy things on my own.
I would give my left nut to have every weekend off to discover New England on a mountain bike. You are selling yourself short. If you have what it takes to get to where you are currently at, I know you have the goods to figure out the rest. You just need a kick in the ass to do it.
KICK'
Enjoy
I agree I don't have much confidence in myself when it comes to biking long distance myself. I am really, really terrible at repairs and navigation, that does really hold me back, I fully admit. I don't know what to do about it though, I keep taking free maintenance courses and stuff, but I never get any better. Basically I can't change a tube in under 4 hours. I try really hard, but I just can't. Last week the chain fell off the cassette on my commuting bike, and I couldn't get it back on! I couldn't pull the derailer out far enough. I had to walk to the bike shop! So you can see why I am really hesitant going out on the road on my own. Plus I know NOTHING about the suburbs and what kind of roads are out there. Knowing me I'd plot a 60 mile ride and it would be all vertical uphills on high-traffic streets with no shoulder.
So this next weekend I would recommend hanging out with that cool ass bike mechanic at your local shop. You know the one... Dont think that you have to do the repairs, just hang back out of his way and watch him all day long. You know it will cost you, maybe dinner and brews, but he will let you see repairs over and over.
I dont know how you learn, but this might help. The shop owner might let you hang around in one of those bad ass mechanic aprons too. Sounds like fun so far...
hahah well I have been TRYING to, but you have to find a group having a ride that weekend, talk to the leader in advance...and there's only so many groups! The past few weekends I have not been able to organize anything. Actually last weekend I think it was, I had a ride set up, and the night before I realized I had a major equipment problem so I had to cancel. And when I went to the bike shop to have it fixed, they messed something else up!
And I'm sorry that I sound like I have a bad attitude, I'm just getting to my wit's end. I just want a group of friends around like I used to have that I can hang out with have plans with and go for bike rides with or whatever...I try very hard to make my own fun, but I'm just running out of stuff that excites me and not having any money doesn't really help matters.
Well just because one weekend didn't work out, you don't give up. Tenacity is key, for anything! Keep trying, especially if that is something you feel passionate about.
Fuel your passions, always.
You don't have to apologize for your attitude, just know you need to recognize it and see what responses it garners. If it is getting this sort of reception on a tiny scale like a PJ board, imagine how it projects in the 'real' world?
I think you're looking for excitement and happiness from external sources, like other people. They can provide that, but if you aren't happy with yourself, it really isn't going to do the trick, you know? And money won't make you happy either.
Well I really don't get upset about these things infront of other people. I usually keep my boredom and frustrations bottled up . With my coworkers, I pretend I have the most exciting life on earth
You know I am really not looking for excitement and happiness from other people-or from money. I completely agree with you on that point. On the people issue, as I said, I am quite used to making my own fun, or at least trying to. But as it is, I've gone the past almost 3 years not having much companionship, after coming out of a situation where I basically had an "urban tribe." I've tried really really hard to make friends and stuff, and it just hasn't happened. While I can do a lot of stuff on my own like go to a movie or dinner or something, and while I join organized groups for biking or whatever, sometimes weekends are just about grabbing a drink with friends or whatever. I try to be out of my house as much as possible, and as I said originally, I got bored sitting at the bar last night just drinking by myself. Sometimes you just need people around to hang out with. With respect to money, I don't expect money to solve any major problems, but when trying to organize your own fun, it would be nice to have enough to go away for the weekend or just go shopping to kill time or something. Even hobbies require a lot of money- I've put a TON into my bikes and my camera this year, much more than I really have, but all necessary.
Why pretend to have a life you don't have with co-workers? Fuck it, let them know hey I'm bored out of my damn skulls, you got any ideas? And then DON'T shoot them all down
If money is hindering your pursuit of biking, maybe start checking out classes or something to learn how to fix them yourself?
And you take photos? That's a great thing to keep you busy!
So this next weekend I would recommend hanging out with that cool ass bike mechanic at your local shop. You know the one... Dont think that you have to do the repairs, just hang back out of his way and watch him all day long. You know it will cost you, maybe dinner and brews, but he will let you see repairs over and over.
I dont know how you learn, but this might help. The shop owner might let you hang around in one of those bad ass mechanic aprons too. Sounds like fun so far...
haha sounds like a good idea but my local bike shop is not really like that. it's very, very, very, very busy, especially on weekends. It's complete chaos. And as much as I go in there I haven't yet determined that any of the mechanics are cool.
Why pretend to have a life you don't have with co-workers? Fuck it, let them know hey I'm bored out of my damn skulls, you got any ideas? And then DON'T shoot them all down
yeah in recent weeks I have started to hint. they don't have any ideas. most of them are quite boring, you know the wife-and-kids set (no offense to anyone). I ask everyone what they did on the weekend and it's usually "oh we took the kids to the childrens museum" OR they went on some crazy vacation I could never afford.
If money is hindering your pursuit of biking, maybe start checking out classes or something to learn how to fix them yourself?
well I have taken free maintenance classes, so I keep up with that stuff, but as I said, I am absolutely TERRIBLE at maintenance. And free classes are not the most useful. Most of the stuff I'm spending money on isn't really repair labor anyway. I needed a fitting and then I needed a mileage and cadence computer so I don't get lost...then I couldn't get the computer installed correctly. I needed new pedals because I had really crappy ones I couldn't clip out of and it was deterring me from riding...haven't been able to sell the old ones yet...
And you take photos? That's a great thing to keep you busy!
Yeah sort of. I love taking photos when I go away somewhere, or even take my little camera on a bike ride, but I've lived in this city for so long, I feel like I've been there, seen that, everywhere. I'm not a good photographer in the sense of coming up with things to shoot. It just seems like everything I could shoot has been shot- over and over and over again. It's probably not even like that, it just seems that way. I usually take my camera a lot of places I go, but it's rare I get an interesting shot. I'll go to botanical gardens for a day of shooting next month when there's more in bloom, but right now there's not too much.
Put on Pearl Jam as loud as you can and then......
Get a job or volunteer,
Get a team together and pick up rubbish from local parks ect,
Get involved with your local community an help them out in your spare time.
MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENTS HOUSE? ( this is an assumption )
No joke, I would love to have your spare time.
I can't remember the last time I was BORED!
Comments
I don't think boredom has anything to do with being single or living alone. I haven't been any less bored while in relationships or living with people. In fact sometimes I think that's worse because then you've got two people sitting around bored. I just mentioned dating as something to do, like hanging out with friends or whatever.
It's hard to be bored when you're taking care of a couple of young children or trying to take care of a house and a husband in between your own work though. Maybe you need more responsibilities?
Just wanted to put that up there again since it hadn't been addressed. I'd also add start a side business of your own, doing something you enjoy, keeps you busy and makes some extra cash too
I'm with Whiz, I don't get bored either. If I won the lottery I'd have *no* problem finding ways to spend my time
Look, all of this is just stuff to pass the time. Reading a book and rearranging your sock drawer is what you do when DON'T have plans. These things aren't fun, they're stuff you do when you're bored. I want to get OUT and meet people and go places and kick my ass physically. I can't clean my closet every weekend, I'm tired of listening to myself think! I want to get OUT!
well sorry but I'm certainly not going to go out and get pregnant to avoid boredom!
it works for the duggars
When you put it that way, of course it sounds ridiculous. However, I think in the long run, you do need to find a family for yourself. First you have to fall in love. Second get settled. Third, have some long-term plans. You might even just have a husband and some dogs!!
I know you hate everything everyone else does, but sometimes "what everyone else does" is the answer to your empty feeling. :geek:
Life is short. Just go do it already. Like right now, seriously google maps is like 24 hours a day open lol
I'm not "empty" I'm bored. I don't want a husband and I don't want children. I don't mean to be hostile, but I think that is a very condescending thing to say. It's not because "everyone else" does it, but because I don't think it is right for me. I HAVE a family. Trust me, I HAVE a family. They might not be a husband and kids, but they are still a family, and they don't help with boredom. Also, I feel VERY strongly that you can't have "plans" for romantic relationships, they just happen. If you have "plans" regarding that sort of thing, you are asking for a lifetime of trouble. I feel VERY strongly about this. I don't want to get involved in that sort of mindset, it is just recipe for disaster. In terms of kids, I've never really wanted them, and I know that I am not organized enough to take care of them. Everyone I know yells at me when I threaten to get a dog, they know I can't take care of one. Well, if I can't take care of a dog, I certainly can't take care of kids. As I said I hate cooking and food shopping and everything like that- my children would starve.
Besides, I also don't believe that this sort of thing helps with boredom. Some of the most bored, frustrated, lonely people I know are married with children. I get frustrated not having anything to do on weekends, but some married and children-having people I know are actually depressed. I think that's where the "empty" feeling lies- if you try to cure boredom by searching for someone to marry and have kids with...it's not going to work, you're going to feel REALLY "empty."
are you a long distance cyclist? It's very complicated, even dangerous at times. I am very bad at repairs at stuff and venturing into unknown suburbs and not knowing the terrain makes me very anxious, and doesn't seem especially responsible. I live in a very congested area, and it is DIFFICULT to find open road to bike on. You really have to know your way around, it's not just about google maps.
We try to help you and then you just start attacking our suggestions. You don't really want help or suggestions. You just seem to want to revel in your excuses and your misery.
Okay, so what was the excuse for not finding a local biking group or chapter then? I must have missed it?
I'm not a negative person. I'm actually overly optimistic, which gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes. I have learned to contain it a bit (for example having a very big scare on the road during an overly-ambitious bike ride). Even if I were, I don't see what that has to do with anything. I also don't think it's fair to judge a person like that based on a few written paragraphs about a particular problem they are having. You are making a lot of judgements regarding the "emptiness" thing and the "responsibility" thing...I actually have a LOT of responsibilities. I take care of myself and my entire life. I support myself, I organize my entire life myself, something goes wrong, I fix it myself. I meant to say it in the last post, but it is incorrect to suggest that single people without children don't have any responsibilities. We have a LOT of responsibilities.
Life really is short, the energy expended on being negative just wastes it all away. The thing you may need to focus on beyond any other hobby or whatever is working on your attitude. Just my 2cents anyway.
Best of luck to you
there's not an excuse, I've just gone on rides with a couple in the past couple months and they have not been right for me. It's like playing tennis- you have to find people on the same skill and fitness and interest level or it's just not going to go well. Sometimes it can be really difficult to find the right thing. I am in a weird place because I am interested in fitness but not racing, and there's not a lot of groups like that- most are either hard core racing teams or kind of casual tour type riding with usually older people. It's not fun when you're not with the right group.
Lauri, you are mixing up material responsibilities with EMOTIONAL responsibilities. They are different. What you seem to be craving is emotional connection. That is why you are bored. We can all fill up time but if we don't feel an inner connection or passionate interest in others, we will be bored.
My suggestions didn't really address this issue, instead I tried to suggest things on my list that might interest your mind or your emotions as an individual. However, honestly, if you can't get interested in things as an individual, you need more passion in your life.
And don't keep saying I'm condescending. I am just OLDER than you.
BIKING
I would give my left nut to have every weekend off to discover New England on a mountain bike. You are selling yourself short. If you have what it takes to get to where you are currently at, I know you have the goods to figure out the rest. You just need a kick in the ass to do it.
KICK'
Enjoy
hahah well I have been TRYING to, but you have to find a group having a ride that weekend, talk to the leader in advance...and there's only so many groups! The past few weekends I have not been able to organize anything. Actually last weekend I think it was, I had a ride set up, and the night before I realized I had a major equipment problem so I had to cancel. And when I went to the bike shop to have it fixed, they messed something else up!
And I'm sorry that I sound like I have a bad attitude, I'm just getting to my wit's end. I just want a group of friends around like I used to have that I can hang out with have plans with and go for bike rides with or whatever...I try very hard to make my own fun, but I'm just running out of stuff that excites me and not having any money doesn't really help matters.
Fuel your passions, always.
You don't have to apologize for your attitude, just know you need to recognize it and see what responses it garners. If it is getting this sort of reception on a tiny scale like a PJ board, imagine how it projects in the 'real' world?
I think you're looking for excitement and happiness from external sources, like other people. They can provide that, but if you aren't happy with yourself, it really isn't going to do the trick, you know? And money won't make you happy either.
Well I really don't get upset about these things infront of other people. I usually keep my boredom and frustrations bottled up
You know I am really not looking for excitement and happiness from other people-or from money. I completely agree with you on that point. On the people issue, as I said, I am quite used to making my own fun, or at least trying to. But as it is, I've gone the past almost 3 years not having much companionship, after coming out of a situation where I basically had an "urban tribe." I've tried really really hard to make friends and stuff, and it just hasn't happened. While I can do a lot of stuff on my own like go to a movie or dinner or something, and while I join organized groups for biking or whatever, sometimes weekends are just about grabbing a drink with friends or whatever. I try to be out of my house as much as possible, and as I said originally, I got bored sitting at the bar last night just drinking by myself. Sometimes you just need people around to hang out with. With respect to money, I don't expect money to solve any major problems, but when trying to organize your own fun, it would be nice to have enough to go away for the weekend or just go shopping to kill time or something. Even hobbies require a lot of money- I've put a TON into my bikes and my camera this year, much more than I really have, but all necessary.
well I don't know if it is completely related, because I believe that you HAVE to be able to make your own fun, and I used to do it pretty well, but I do agree that I really do miss my friends. I don't believe it has anything to do with being single or having children or lack thereof, but I do miss my friends. But as the other person said, wishing I had my friends around is not going to help, I have to be able to enjoy things on my own.
I agree I don't have much confidence in myself when it comes to biking long distance myself. I am really, really terrible at repairs and navigation, that does really hold me back, I fully admit. I don't know what to do about it though, I keep taking free maintenance courses and stuff, but I never get any better. Basically I can't change a tube in under 4 hours. I try really hard, but I just can't. Last week the chain fell off the cassette on my commuting bike, and I couldn't get it back on! I couldn't pull the derailer out far enough. I had to walk to the bike shop! So you can see why I am really hesitant going out on the road on my own. Plus I know NOTHING about the suburbs and what kind of roads are out there. Knowing me I'd plot a 60 mile ride and it would be all vertical uphills on high-traffic streets with no shoulder.
I dont know how you learn, but this might help. The shop owner might let you hang around in one of those bad ass mechanic aprons too. Sounds like fun so far...
If money is hindering your pursuit of biking, maybe start checking out classes or something to learn how to fix them yourself?
And you take photos? That's a great thing to keep you busy!
haha sounds like a good idea but my local bike shop is not really like that. it's very, very, very, very busy, especially on weekends. It's complete chaos. And as much as I go in there I haven't yet determined that any of the mechanics are cool.
yeah in recent weeks I have started to hint. they don't have any ideas. most of them are quite boring, you know the wife-and-kids set (no offense to anyone). I ask everyone what they did on the weekend and it's usually "oh we took the kids to the childrens museum" OR they went on some crazy vacation I could never afford.
well I have taken free maintenance classes, so I keep up with that stuff, but as I said, I am absolutely TERRIBLE at maintenance. And free classes are not the most useful. Most of the stuff I'm spending money on isn't really repair labor anyway. I needed a fitting and then I needed a mileage and cadence computer so I don't get lost...then I couldn't get the computer installed correctly. I needed new pedals because I had really crappy ones I couldn't clip out of and it was deterring me from riding...haven't been able to sell the old ones yet...
Yeah sort of. I love taking photos when I go away somewhere, or even take my little camera on a bike ride, but I've lived in this city for so long, I feel like I've been there, seen that, everywhere. I'm not a good photographer in the sense of coming up with things to shoot. It just seems like everything I could shoot has been shot- over and over and over again. It's probably not even like that, it just seems that way. I usually take my camera a lot of places I go, but it's rare I get an interesting shot. I'll go to botanical gardens for a day of shooting next month when there's more in bloom, but right now there's not too much.
Get a job or volunteer,
Get a team together and pick up rubbish from local parks ect,
Get involved with your local community an help them out in your spare time.
MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENTS HOUSE? ( this is an assumption )
No joke, I would love to have your spare time.
I can't remember the last time I was BORED!