ever just know

comebackgirl

norm wrote:

would you people stop being so damned positive!! :twisted:

Sorry! :( I'm just gonna go back to hating life now...

Dissidentman

comebackgirl wrote:

norm wrote:

would you people stop being so damned positive!! :twisted:

Sorry! :( I'm just gonna go back to hating life now...

Yeah, this is what we have Pandora for...

comebackgirl

Dissidentman wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

norm wrote:

would you people stop being so damned positive!! :twisted:

Sorry! :( I'm just gonna go back to hating life now...

Yeah, this is what we have Pandora for...

Well that and cute little puppy pics

blackredyellow

know1 wrote:

Just to hijack the thread. I do not find that vacations really serve as good stress relievers. You (I) end up working more before I leave and more after I get back and then you add into it the stress of planning the vacation, traveling, spending money, etc. and it just doesn't do anything to relax me.

I'm not saying I don't like to take them, but I don't look at them as something I need in terms of an escape from a hectic life. I look at them as something I do because I want to go some where or do something different.

I do think that as a society, we generally take too many of them anyway. It seems like everyone I know - except me - goes off on about 2 of them a year.

I disagree...

Yes, the couple days before you go and the day you get back at work are a bit of a mess, but the vacation makes it worthwhile... My favorite thing about a vacation is that I don't have to be anywhere at a specific time, and that is relaxing in itself.

I don't think we as a society take enough vacations... I think we need more balance in life than the usual 40+ hour workweek that most of us have. In the summer at my work, we go to 4 day work weeks... It seems like just having that 3 day weekend makes people more productive and pleasant to be around.

Lauri

comebackgirl wrote:

So true! I love a change of scenery...or even the same scenery, but a change in mindset and attitude

I think it's really all about balance. It's hard to balance all our priorities...but so important! If it starts to get too heavily weighted on one side...I can really start to feel it and the result is not pretty! The balance changes depending on where I am in my life at any given point in time...there are times it will need to be more heavily weighted on work...other times more on family...and sometimes just on myself! The important thing is to sense that and make adjustments as needed...and we're really the only ones that can sense this and make adjustments to our own lives. Others can make suggestions and give feedback, but it's up to us to figure out what is right and then DO it. And so important to enjoy your life as much as you can in the given moment...or life passes by and you realize you've been miserable the whole time. It helps to have something to look forward to, but overall it makes much more sense to live in the present tense

I don't really think I have a lack of balance because there's not that much to balance between. Don't get me wrong, I take every opportunity to socialize or see my family and whatnot, but I'm not really sure what you mean by "adjustments." I think taking a vacation is the sort of "adjustment" you're talking about here right? I just don't know what do when a adjustment like that isn't possible. All winter I went through this phase of trying "diversifying" my week so I had something to do and think about other work and gym, so I was researching all these activities, and I couldn't afford any of them! It just seems like a lot of "adjustments" cost money, at least the kind I think I need cuz as I said I see my family and friends often enough anyway. I guess I don't think my stress comes from a balance in my priorities, I guess it comes from only having one that can be a priorty (work).

chiquimonkey

Lauri wrote:

I don't really think I have a lack of balance because there's not that much to balance between. Don't get me wrong, I take every opportunity to socialize or see my family and whatnot, but I'm not really sure what you mean by "adjustments." I think taking a vacation is the sort of "adjustment" you're talking about here right? I just don't know what do when a adjustment like that isn't possible. All winter I went through this phase of trying "diversifying" my week so I had something to do and think about other work and gym, so I was researching all these activities, and I couldn't afford any of them! It just seems like a lot of "adjustments" cost money, at least the kind I think I need cuz as I said I see my family and friends often enough anyway. I guess I don't think my stress comes from a balance in my priorities, I guess it comes from only having one that can be a priorty (work).

You have to assign priority to things other than work though. If that is your only priority, then there *is* an imbalance. One works to live, not lives to work.

A vacation helps to equalize things some, but from what I recall seeing in this thread, you shot down every suggestion. So dunno what to say about that. An adjustment in how you portion out your time in general, beyond a trip, might be more in order. Good luck, hope you can strike a balance somehow so you can be happy

comebackgirl

Lauri wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

So true! I love a change of scenery...or even the same scenery, but a change in mindset and attitude

I think it's really all about balance. It's hard to balance all our priorities...but so important! If it starts to get too heavily weighted on one side...I can really start to feel it and the result is not pretty! The balance changes depending on where I am in my life at any given point in time...there are times it will need to be more heavily weighted on work...other times more on family...and sometimes just on myself! The important thing is to sense that and make adjustments as needed...and we're really the only ones that can sense this and make adjustments to our own lives. Others can make suggestions and give feedback, but it's up to us to figure out what is right and then DO it. And so important to enjoy your life as much as you can in the given moment...or life passes by and you realize you've been miserable the whole time. It helps to have something to look forward to, but overall it makes much more sense to live in the present tense

I don't really think I have a lack of balance because there's not that much to balance between. Don't get me wrong, I take every opportunity to socialize or see my family and whatnot, but I'm not really sure what you mean by "adjustments." I think taking a vacation is the sort of "adjustment" you're talking about here right? I just don't know what do when a adjustment like that isn't possible. All winter I went through this phase of trying "diversifying" my week so I had something to do and think about other work and gym, so I was researching all these activities, and I couldn't afford any of them! It just seems like a lot of "adjustments" cost money, at least the kind I think I need cuz as I said I see my family and friends often enough anyway. I guess I don't think my stress comes from a balance in my priorities, I guess it comes from only having one that can be a priorty (work).

I was really talking about balance being important for me. I have no idea if your life is balanced or not because I don't know you! I just know there have been times when my balance has been out of whack..and it's not pretty. As for the adjustments...well those are really individual. So are priorities..and as I've said, they can change from moment to moment. What works for me may be totally different than what you need. It's one of those things you have to figure out for yourself. I'm sorry I don't have answers for your particular situation...but like I said...it's one of those things we have to figure out for ourselves and then DO it.

pandora

memories, I have to work hard before I go away and play catch up on return but in between are far out memories made, even on a staycation ,and that's what life is all about, making beautiful memories
well that and loving and of course being a positive force

Lauri

chiquimonkey wrote:

You have to assign priority to things other than work though. If that is your only priority, then there *is* an imbalance. One works to live, not lives to work.

A vacation helps to equalize things some, but from what I recall seeing in this thread, you shot down every suggestion. So dunno what to say about that. An adjustment in how you portion out your time in general, beyond a trip, might be more in order. Good luck, hope you can strike a balance somehow so you can be happy

what can one assign priority to other than work, family, and friends?
what suggestions have people made other than camping? I just don't like camping very much, especially without friends. Is that a crime?
It's not possible for me to alot time to anything that costs something on a regular basis. Sure I somehow make it happen if Pearl Jam or another band I like is coming to town or something, but anything that is a reoccurring expense like classes or something isn't possible. From what I have to work with, I portion out my time pretty well. I don't think I really have an imbalance there.

Lauri

comebackgirl wrote:

I was really talking about balance being important for me. I have no idea if your life is balanced or not because I don't know you! I just know there have been times when my balance has been out of whack..and it's not pretty. As for the adjustments...well those are really individual. So are priorities..and as I've said, they can change from moment to moment. What works for me may be totally different than what you need. It's one of those things you have to figure out for yourself. I'm sorry I don't have answers for your particular situation...but like I said...it's one of those things we have to figure out for ourselves and then DO it.

ok sorry, I was just trying to get a better idea of what you were talking about. thanks for the clarification.

I'm actually thinking seriously about getting a second job part time in the fall. I'm not sure what or if it's allowed at my full time job. It will suck, I'm sure, but it seems like the only way to improve my life in the future.

chiquimonkey

Lauri wrote:

chiquimonkey wrote:

You have to assign priority to things other than work though. If that is your only priority, then there *is* an imbalance. One works to live, not lives to work.

A vacation helps to equalize things some, but from what I recall seeing in this thread, you shot down every suggestion. So dunno what to say about that. An adjustment in how you portion out your time in general, beyond a trip, might be more in order. Good luck, hope you can strike a balance somehow so you can be happy

what can one assign priority to other than work, family, and friends?
what suggestions have people made other than camping? I just don't like camping very much, especially without friends. Is that a crime?
It's not possible for me to alot time to anything that costs something on a regular basis. Sure I somehow make it happen if Pearl Jam or another band I like is coming to town or something, but anything that is a reoccurring expense like classes or something isn't possible. From what I have to work with, I portion out my time pretty well. I don't think I really have an imbalance there.

I think folks have suggested the idea of a staycation, or an extended weekend, doing something local, beyond the camping suggestion. There's a myriad of things one can do to change the scenery without breaking the bank. But as usual, you dismiss all of it. Oh well.

If you didn't have an imbalance, you wouldn't feel so burnt out.I'm in the midst of planning a small getaway next month cuz I'm feeling the need bigtime

Best of luck to you.

And Pandora, LOVE the puppy!!

Lauri

pandora wrote:

memories, I have to work hard before I go away and play catch up on return but in between are far out memories made, even on a staycation ,and that's what life is all about, making beautiful memories
well that and loving and of course being a positive force

what kind of memories do you make on staycation? see I wouldn't mind it if I could think of something to do while I'm doing it. I've been to every museum and attraction around here a thousand times, it's not enough to give me something to look forward to, which to me seems to be a really important part of the whole vacation thing, you know? I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts all week watching TV and doing housework until I finally give up and go into the office.

and chiquimonkey- I took a monday off several weeks ago and took the monday flowing the fourth of july off. it's just not even long enough of a break, and it's not satisfying enough. the first one I just went to the gym and did some errands, the second one I hung out with my mother, which was really fun, but it wasn't enough to make a significant difference.

blackredyellow

Lauri wrote:

pandora wrote:

memories, I have to work hard before I go away and play catch up on return but in between are far out memories made, even on a staycation ,and that's what life is all about, making beautiful memories
well that and loving and of course being a positive force

what kind of memories do you make on staycation? see I wouldn't mind it if I could think of something to do while I'm doing it. I've been to every museum and attraction around here a thousand times, it's not enough to give me something to look forward to, which to me seems to be a really important part of the whole vacation thing, you know? I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts all week watching TV and doing housework until I finally give up and go into the office.

Its the summer... it really isn't hard to find stuff to do...

Spend an afternoon at the park with a good book or tunes...
Go to the beach for the day (doesn't have to be an ocean)...
Go on an all day bike ride or hike somewhere peaceful and beautiful...
Got a camera? Go around town and take some pictures of cool things (or find wildlife/scenery to photograph)...
Got to a baseball game with a couple friends (even if you don't like sports, it can be a fun afternoon out with a couple drinks and some food)...

chiquimonkey

blackredyellow wrote:

Its the summer... it really isn't hard to find stuff to do...

Spend an afternoon at the park with a good book or tunes...
Go to the beach for the day (doesn't have to be an ocean)...
Go on an all day bike ride or hike somewhere peaceful and beautiful...
Got a camera? Go around town and take some pictures of cool things (or find wildlife/scenery to photograph)...
Got to a baseball game with a couple friends (even if you don't like sports, it can be a fun afternoon out with a couple drinks and some food)...

Hell I'd be happy just sleeping all day

blackredyellow

chiquimonkey wrote:

blackredyellow wrote:

Its the summer... it really isn't hard to find stuff to do...

Spend an afternoon at the park with a good book or tunes...
Go to the beach for the day (doesn't have to be an ocean)...
Go on an all day bike ride or hike somewhere peaceful and beautiful...
Got a camera? Go around town and take some pictures of cool things (or find wildlife/scenery to photograph)...
Got to a baseball game with a couple friends (even if you don't like sports, it can be a fun afternoon out with a couple drinks and some food)...

Hell I'd be happy just sleeping all day

me too

or I could just sit on my deck and relax...

comebackgirl

no problem! A second job is definitely one way to change things up a bit. I've done that too. Sometimes it's just a matter of trying different things to see what works. Sometimes just by trying you can be pleasantly surprised.

Lauri wrote:

ok sorry, I was just trying to get a better idea of what you were talking about. thanks for the clarification.

I'm actually thinking seriously about getting a second job part time in the fall. I'm not sure what or if it's allowed at my full time job. It will suck, I'm sure, but it seems like the only way to improve my life in the future.

Lauri

blackredyellow wrote:

Its the summer... it really isn't hard to find stuff to do...

Spend an afternoon at the park with a good book or tunes...
Go to the beach for the day (doesn't have to be an ocean)...
Go on an all day bike ride or hike somewhere peaceful and beautiful...
Got a camera? Go around town and take some pictures of cool things (or find wildlife/scenery to photograph)...
Got to a baseball game with a couple friends (even if you don't like sports, it can be a fun afternoon out with a couple drinks and some food)...

yeah this is most of what I have thought of as well. I just do the park/book and all day bike ride things almost every weekend anyway, and I'm always walking around taking photos (though I find that when I purposely go out to take photos I don't find anything to shoot- I have much more luck by accident! ) Baseball is out because of the cost (haha plus, if it's the afternoon, everyone else is working!). The beach is along the lines of what I was thinking, but I don't want to do it every day due to the long drive (and cost of parking which is ridiculous around here!). I'm just afraid of making this investment and not having any fun because I'm not doing anything particularly exciting or seeing anything new. And I think I REALLY want to get away from my apartment. I think my apartment stresses me out as much as the office. Sorry I'm just thinking out loud, trying to tally it all up.

comebackgirl

pandora wrote:

memories, I have to work hard before I go away and play catch up on return but in between are far out memories made, even on a staycation ,and that's what life is all about, making beautiful memories
well that and loving and of course being a positive force

I think I need to have this puppy! Sorry to derail the thread...but it's kind of on-topic cause my pets have helped balance my life

Lauri

comebackgirl wrote:

no problem! A second job is definitely one way to change things up a bit. I've done that too. Sometimes it's just a matter of trying different things to see what works. Sometimes just by trying you can be pleasantly surprised.

Lauri wrote:

ok sorry, I was just trying to get a better idea of what you were talking about. thanks for the clarification.

I'm actually thinking seriously about getting a second job part time in the fall. I'm not sure what or if it's allowed at my full time job. It will suck, I'm sure, but it seems like the only way to improve my life in the future.

Yeah I just have to get the nerve to ask my boss if it's ok. and I wonder how long it will be before I regret not having nights and weekends free. lots of uncertainty there. I guess one could just quit if it doesn't work out, which isn't in my nature once I've made a commitment but I assume it's done all the time...I haven't had a part time job since college so I have no idea how it all works anymore!

comebackgirl

Lauri wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

no problem! A second job is definitely one way to change things up a bit. I've done that too. Sometimes it's just a matter of trying different things to see what works. Sometimes just by trying you can be pleasantly surprised.

Lauri wrote:

ok sorry, I was just trying to get a better idea of what you were talking about. thanks for the clarification.

I'm actually thinking seriously about getting a second job part time in the fall. I'm not sure what or if it's allowed at my full time job. It will suck, I'm sure, but it seems like the only way to improve my life in the future.

Yeah I just have to get the nerve to ask my boss if it's ok. and I wonder how long it will be before I regret not having nights and weekends free. lots of uncertainty there. I guess one could just quit if it doesn't work out, which isn't in my nature once I've made a commitment but I assume it's done all the time...I haven't had a part time job since college so I have no idea how it all works anymore!

I wasn't sure if I could do it at my job either...I had to get special permission and adjust my schedule (I work late and needed a few evenings free to be able to add a second job), but they let me do it! There are times I hate having to work so late...but the up sides are 1) extra cash to do things when I actually have time to do them 2) I'm so exhausted during the week and have so little free time that I don't get bored and am thankful for every free second even if there's nothing to do 3) I've met some really cool people 4) I'm advancing my skills & career which could pay off in the future. It doesn't have to be forever...it probably won't be (for me), but it works for now...and it's a nice change from just my FT job. Good luck! Hope it works out for you